(5 votes, average: 3.80 out of 5)
Loading...The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a ferret walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the ferret’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the ferret. “Your name is written inside the cover.”
(5 votes, average: 4.20 out of 5)Loading...Q: What did the grape say when the platypus stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
(6 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)Loading...A policeman caught a nasty little Australian boy with a BB gun in one hand and a koala in the other. “Now Listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy. “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”
(4 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?
A: Ground Beef
(8 votes, average: 3.38 out of 5)Loading...Q: How does an otter get into an honest business?
A: Usually through the skylight.
(4 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)Loading...Q: What kind of shark is always quoting Shakespeare?
A: A bard shark
(4 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?
A: A friend you can count on.
(4 votes, average: 3.25 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call an Badger with a carrot in each ear? A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!
(4 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q :Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?
A : Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!
(4 votes, average: 3.25 out of 5)Loading...Q: How do you drive a ferret crazy?
A: Give him a round litter pan.
(6 votes, average: 3.17 out of 5)Loading...A guy walks into a bar and there’s a horse serving drinks.
The horse asks, “What are you staring at?”
Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?”
The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”
(4 votes, average: 3.25 out of 5)Loading...Q: What did the rabbits do after their wedding?
A: They went on their bunnymoon!
(4 votes, average: 3.25 out of 5)Loading...Q: Why did the dog cross the road?
A: To get to the “barking” lot!
(4 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)Loading...Q: Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
A: He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be!
(4 votes, average: 3.25 out of 5)Loading...Q: What’s a shark favorite substance?
A: Reefer
(4 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)Loading...Q :Why did the elephant go in the mens restroom?
A :To get some nuts
(4 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)Loading...Q: why did the mommy shark and daddy shark get divorced
A: they no longer loved each other
(20 votes, average: 3.55 out of 5)Loading...Math Teacher :
If a=b and b=c then a=c,
now give me the practical example of this principle from real life.
Student :
I love you sir
and you love your daughter
which means I love your daughter.
(5 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Q :Teacher: “Where would you find an elephant?”
A:Pupil:”You don’t have to find them, they’re too big to lose!”
(4 votes, average: 3.25 out of 5)Loading...Q. How can you tell if there is a dinosaur in bed with you?
A. By the `D’ on his pajamas.
(5 votes, average: 3.40 out of 5)Loading...Q: How do monkeys get down the stairs?
A: They slide down the banana-ster!
(7 votes, average: 3.14 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you get when you cross a gator and a poison frog?
A: A croak-odile.
(4 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Psychiatrist: What seems to be the problem?
Patient: I think I’m a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long as this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I came out of my shell.
(4 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)Loading...Q :What is an elephants favorite sport?
A :Squash
(4 votes, average: 4.25 out of 5)Loading...Q: Why did the dog need help on his Pros and Cons chart?
A: He was CON-fused!
(5 votes, average: 2.60 out of 5)Loading...Q: Did you hear about the blonde water-polo player?
A: His horse drowned
(5 votes, average: 4.20 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A: An alarm cluck!
(4 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)Loading...Q: What did the polar bear say when it saw the igloo?
A: “Oooo! I LOVE these things! Crunchy on the outside – with a nice chewy center!”
(6 votes, average: 3.17 out of 5)Loading...Q :What do you call a Spanish goat with no back legs?
A :Gracias.
(4 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)Loading...Q :What do you call an elephant with a rabbit up it’s sweater?
A :Warren!
(4 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Did you hear about the rich rabbit?
A: He was a millionhare!
(4 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
A: Sandy Claws!
(5 votes, average: 3.40 out of 5)Loading...Q: Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?
A: Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated!
(5 votes, average: 4.40 out of 5)Loading...Q: What’s smarter than a talking parrot?
A: A spelling bee
(4 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye?
A: CHICKEN CAESER SALAD (CHICKEN SEES A SALAD)