Homework is at home

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Me: should I get into trouble for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: No
Me: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.

Jawsome

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Q: what did the street shark say when something radical happened?
A: JAWESOME

Stork stand on one leg

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Q: Why does a stork stand on one leg?
A: Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

Lay an every day

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Q: What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
A: Hendurance.

They beat eggs

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Q: Why don’t chickens like people?
A: They beat eggs!

Bunny cross the road

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Q: Why did the bunny cross the road?
A: He wanted to prove he could hip hop!

Airline do Rabbits

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Q: What airline do rabbits use?
A: British Hare-ways!

Choclate chimp

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Q: What is a gorilla’s favorite cookie?
A: Chocolate chimp!

Beautiful underware going to office

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Teacher : is di english daso “Sunder chadha office ja riha hai”

Santa : beautiful underwear is going to office. 🙂

Hourgl-ass

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Q: What do you call a donkey that keeps time?
A: Hourgl-ass

Zebra black and White peace

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Q: What is black and white and eats like a horse?
A: A zebra.
I suppose when you’ve seen one lion catch a zebra, you’ve seen a maul.

Fatty puss

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Q: What do you get if you cross a hungry cat with roast duck? A: A duck-filled-fatty-puss!

Tu toh hamesha galat hi sochti hai

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Bahu: Maaji, yeh abhi tak nahi aaye, kahi koi ladki ka chakkar toh nahi hai unke ?

Bahu discussing

Maaji: Are kalmuhi tu toh hamesha galat hi sochti hai, Ho sakta hai ke kisi truck ke niche aa gaya ho!

Penguins on a rampage

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Q: Whats black and white and red all over?
A: a penguin on a rampage

Traffic Was Nuts

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Q: Why was the squirrel late for work?
A: Traffic was NUTS.

Enough Bytes

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Q: What’s the similarity between a Alligator and Windows?
A: Neither of them has enough bytes!

Buy Sharks on wall streets

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Q: Where can you buy sharks on Wall Street?
A: At the shark (stock) market, of course!

One hump at a time

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Q: How do you have sex with a camel?
A: One hump at a time.

Frogs wear

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Q :What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
A :Open toad!

Find somewhere else to sleep

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Q: What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ?
A: Find somewhere else to sleep!

Curiosity killed the cat

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Q: Did you hear about the cat who wanted a dog to teach her how to bark?
A: Curiousity killed the cat.

Enormous holes

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Q. What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops?
A. Enormous holes in the base boards.

Gazalles

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What’s red and white and gives presents to gazelles? Santelope!

Name for twins

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Raabert had twins and comes to the “Boss”…..

twins in bollywood

Raabert: Boss, mere dono bachon ke liye koi naam bataiye..
Ajeet: Ek ka naam rakho Peter….
Raabert: boss or doosre ka ?
Ajeet: Repeater.

Play cards in Jungle

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Q: Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
A: There are too many cheetahs there!

Two Hunters

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Two hunters decide to go moose hunting in Canada. They hire an airplane to drop them off in a remote region. The pilot drops them off and tells them, “I`ll be back in one week. No more than one moose – got it?” One week passes, and the pilot returns. The hunters have two moose. The pilot says, “Hey, I told you guys no more than one moose.” One of the hunters replies, “Look the pilot told us the same thing last year and we gave him a `big` tip to take both moose out.” The three of them argue for several minutes more. The pilot gives up and agrees to take both moose. Well, they load up the moose and fire up the plane. The plane shudders and strains trying to take off. It finally gets the wheels off the ground 5 feet, 10 feet. Whoops! It runs out of runway and smashes into a tree. The two hunters, dazed and confused make there way out of the wreckage. One hunter looks at the other and says, “Where the heck are we?” The other looks around and replies, “About 200 yards further than we got last year!”

Hamster sandwitch

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Q :What’s gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside?
A: A hamster sandwich!

Stupid one !

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Q : What’s black and white and green?
A : A frog sitting on a newspaper.

Gallery of Cows

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Q: What do you find a gallery of cows?
A: The mooseum.

Crocodile favourtie drink

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Q: What is a crocodile’s favorite drink?
A: Gator-ade.

Reindeer wera fur coats

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Q : Why do reindeer wear fur coats?
A : Because they would look silly in plastic macs!

Shakespare said !

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Q: What line from Shakespeare do high school moles have to memorize?
A: “To mole or not to mole, this is the question.”