Q :What do frogs drink?
A :Hot croako!
Bulfrogs
Q :What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?
A :Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth!
Like A coconut
Q: How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
A: Climb a tree and act like a coconut.
Dinosaur go extinct
Q: Why did the dinosaurs go extinct?
A: Because they wouldn’t take a bath!
A Brr-grrr
Q: What do polar bears like to eat in the cold?
A: A “brrr”-“grrr”!
Avagadro in bed
Q: What kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
A: Moleonucleosis
Shark favourite doustin
Q: What is a sharks favorite Dustin Hoffman Film
A: Midnight Caudal
Two Giraffes Collide
Q: What do you get when two giraffes collide?
A: A giraffic jam.
Hippo cross the road
Q: Why did the hippo cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Restaurant that throws food at your face
Q: What do you call a restaurant that throws food in your face?
A: a Monkey Business.
Stand up comedy
Q: Why doesn’t anybody like the stand-up comedy of Margaret Shark? A: She bites!
Naked Horse
Q: Why was the horse naked?
A: Because the jockey fell off.
Bihari in Cenima
A Bihari goes to a movie hall and asks for two tickets,Do tho
ticket dena, the person at the window tells him that there is a house
full, so this Bihari says koi baat nahin do house full de do.
Afraid of getting toad
Q :Why didn’t the frog park on the side of the road?
A :He was afraid of getting toad!
Crocodile presents on christmas
Q: Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
A: Santa Jaws!
Egg crisize
Q: How do chickens get strong?
A: Egg-cersize.
Half chicken cross the road
Q: Why did half a chicken cross the road?
A: To get to its other side!
Catch a Rich Squirrel
Q: How do you catch a rich squirrel?
A: Climb a tree and act like a cashew.
Red nosed reindeer
Q : Why did Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer cross the road?
A : Because he was tied to a chicken!
Top 20 funny quotes
[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash.
[5] Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
[6] Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.
[7] You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
[8] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
[9] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
[10] Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
[11] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.
[12] Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
[13] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
[14] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
[15] You’re getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
[16] It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
[17] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
[18] It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
[19] There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
[20] There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!
blind sparrows
Q: Where do blind sparrows go for treatment?
A: The Birds Eye counter!
Make shark laugh
Q: How do you make a shark laugh?
A: Tell a whale of a tale.
Girl wedds with invisible man
Q :Why did the girl Gorilla, engaged to the invisible man, call off the wedding?
A : Because in the last analysis she just couldn’t see it!
Long Turtle
Q: What do you call a turtle with 6 feet?
A: A 6-foot turtle.
Frogs pickup his favourite baskeball team
Q :How does a frog pick his favorite baseball team?
A :He jumps on the bandwagon.
Baseball player with Frog
Q :What do you get when you cross a baseball player with a frog?
A :An outfielder who catches flies and then eats them.
Bull-Dozer
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer
Frogs favourite game
Q :Whats a frogs favorite game?
A :It’s croak-et!
Compass
Q: What do you call a donkey with built-in GPS?
A: Comp-ass.
Mechanically inclined Squirrel
Q: How do you catch a mechanically inclined squirrel?
A: Climb a tree and act like a 9/16 12N nut.
So Darn Stupid
Q: Why does it take more than one squirrel to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Because they’re so darn stupid!
Bullshit
Q: What family does Maiasaur belong to?
A: I don’t think any families in our neighborhood have one!
Neigh buzz
Q: What do you get if you cross a horse with a bee?
A: Neigh buzz
The guys was right
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. “Hey, I don’t want to tell you how to do something … but I can tell you that it’s much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won’t dig into the ground.” After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it. A little while later one hunter said to the other, “You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!” “Yeah, but we’re getting farther from the truck,” the other added.
Elephants afraid of cheetahs
Q :Why don’t elephants like playing cards in the jungle?
A :Because of all the cheetahs!