Q: What do you call a sheep that is always quiet?
A: A shhhheep!

Q: What do you get when you cross a sheep and a porcupine?
A: An animal that can sew its own sweaters.

Q: What do you call a sheep with a machine gun?
A: A b-aa-aa-aa-d situation.

Q: What do you call sheep taking over France?
A: Baaaa-stile Day.

A shepherd was looking for a lost sheep, after a couple hours he found it stuck in some briar bushes and covered with mud. He rescued the sheep. After several slanderous remarks about the muddy dumb sheep, the sheep blurted out, “What are you griping about, I almost drowned in the pond?” Shocked at hearing the Sheep speak, the Shepherd asked the sheep why he was in the pond in the first place, “Don’t you know sheep can’t swim?”, We were not swimming, we were wallowing in mud and I stepped into, a deep hole?” “Who is we?” the Shepherd asked. “Me and the pig?” The sheep replied. “Why on earth would you wallow in mud?” asked the Shepherd. “Well the pig said it would make me cooler, I was getting hot.” The shepherd asked the sheep where the pig was. The sheep replied. “He went back to the barn.” So the Shepherd put the sheep on his shoulders and began his trip back to the barn. He did not own a pig, and he planned to take the pig to task for the mud wallowing incident. The next day the shepherd?s rich neighbor a farmer came by and inquired if the shepherd had seen his pig. Soon the Shepherd began telling the rich farmer about the sheep and pig story, and demanded compensation for the incident caused by the farmer’s pig.” The farmer expressed his doubts to the Shepherd, whereupon the Sheep blurted out “He’s right, it was your pig that did it.” Just then the rich farmer realized that this was a talking sheep. He thought to himself, “I can make millions with a talking sheep. He stopped the discussion and asked if the shepherd would take 500 dollars for the sheep. The shepherd replied that he would consider the sale on an as is basis, no guarantees. The farmer then bought the sheep and the trade was done. The shepherd turned and as he walked away the farmer heard him say “Well that’s one less diseased and dying sheep I have to worry about, Your pig said he was full of shit anyway.”

Q: Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
A: He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

Q: Why couldn’t the little lamb play outside?
A: It was being baaaaaaaad!

Q: Where did the sheep get a haircut?
A: The baa-baa shop!

Q: What do you call a religious sheep?
A: a baaaa=ptist.

Q: Where do sheeps take a bath?
A: In a baaaa-th tub!

Q: Where do sheep go on vacation?
A: To the baaaaaahamas.

Q: What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A: A Candy Baa.

Q: Where do sheep go when they die?
A: To the baa baa que.

Q: What animal sounds like a sheep but isn’t?
A: A baaaa-boon!

Q: what is a sheep’s favourite food?
A: chocolate baar.

Q: What do you call a dancing sheep?
A: A baa-lerina!

Q: Why are sheep baaaaaad drivers?
A: They always make illegal ewe turns.

Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: “Fleece Navidad!”

Q: Why was the sheep arrested on the freeway?
A: Because she did a ewe-turn!

Q: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
A: An animal that’s in a baaaaaaaad moooooood.

Q: How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A: Merry Christmas to Ewe!

Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A: A cloud.