One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ”How much is the yellow one?” The assistant says, ” 2000.” The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it’s so expensive. The assistant explains, ”This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.” ”What about the green one?” the man asks. The assistant says, ”He costs 5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.” ”What about the red one?” the man asks. The assistant says, ”That one’s 10,000.” The man says, ”What does HE do?” The assistant says, ”I don’t know, but the other two call him boss.

Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a tiger?
A: I don’t know, but when it talks you better listen carefully.

Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: an animal that talks your head off.

A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a miniature parrot in the front seat. “What are you doing with that parrot?” He exclaimed, “You should take it to the zoo.” The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the parrot again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over. “I thought you were going to take that parrot to the zoo!” The man replied, “I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!”

This guy inherits a parrot when his friend dies. But the parrot wont stop swearing at him, calling him a dumb f*ck, a c*nt, and a bunch of other names. The guy tries everything to get this bird to stop swearing. Nothing works. He finally gets fed up and sticks him in the freezer. Even from in there, he hears him cussing him out. Then the parrot falls silent. The guy thinks Ohh shit I killed him. He opens the freezer. The parrot hops out saying, ” Very sorry for how I spoke to you, sir. I just have one question… What did the chicken do?”

Q: What figure describes a lost parrot?
A: A polygon!

Q: What do you call a parrot that doesn’t eat?
A: A polynomeal (polynomial)

Q: What is a parrot’s favorite game?
A: Hide and Speak!

Q: What’s smarter than a talking parrot?
A: A spelling bee

Q: Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?
A: Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated!

Q: How do you get a parrot to talk properly?
A: Send him to polytechnic!

Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a centipede?
A: A walkie-talkie.

Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A: A bird that talks your ear off!