Q :Why couldn’t the Gorilla pitcher make it in the major leagues?
A :His balk was worse than his bite!

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers!

Q :What does a Gorilla attorney study?
A :The Law of the jungle!

Q: What’s a monkey’s favourite drink?
A: A sas-gorilla.

Q :How does a Gorilla become another animal?
A : When a Mafia don hires a ‘big Gorilla’ to be his bodyguard and the big Ape goes to the cops and turns into a stool pigeon!

Q : How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest?
A : She was the beast of the show!

Q : What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?
A : Nobody is sure, but if it opened its mouth to speak, you’d listen!

Q: Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree?
A: It was dead.

Q: What is a gorilla’s favorite cookie?
A: Chocolate chimp!

Q: How do gorillas get down the stairs?
A: They slide down the banana-ster!

Q :What’s black, brown and white, black, brown and white, brown and white, etc.?
A: A Gorilla riding down a snowbank!

Q:What do they feed a gorilla when he goes to Paris?
A:Ape Suzettes!

Q: What’s a chimpanzee’s favourite music band?
A: The Gorillaz!

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: They have big fingers.

Q :Who is the Gorillas’ favourite President of recent years?
A : Hairy Truman!

Q:What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner?
A: A Kong-vict!

Q:What do you feed a 600 pound Gorilla?
A:Anything it wants!

Q :What’s black, hairy, and writes under water?
A : A ball-point gorilla!

Q: What sort of key does a gorilla need to open a banana?
A: A monk-key!

Q :How do you make a Gorilla laugh?
A :Tell it a whale of a tale!

Q: Where do gorillas like to get their hair cut?
A: Vidal Baboon!

Q: What do monkeys do when they’re mad at each other?
A: They have a Gorilla war!

Q :Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed by a Gorilla jumping off a tall building?
A: Fall-adelphia!

Q: What’s black and dangerous and lives in a tree?
A: A gorilla with a machine gun.

Q: Where does a monkey cook his toast ?
A: Under a gorilla!

Q: What is as big as a gorilla but weighs nothing?
A: Its shadow!

Q: What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group?
A: Bananarama!

Q: What should you do if you find a gorilla sitting at your school desk?
A: Sit somewhere else!

Q :Why did the Gorilla fail English?
A : He had little Ape-titude!

Q :How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae?
A: Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!

Q :Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?
A : Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

Q :Why did the actor fire his Gorilla agent?
A :The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite!

Q :Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?
A :The bear hug!

Q: How do you stop a gorilla from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!

Q : Which author do the Gorillas love most?
A: Joh Steinbeck – who wrote ‘The Apes of Wrath!’