Q: What do monkeys do when they’re mad at each other?
A: They have a Gorilla war!

Q: What’s black and dangerous and lives in a tree?
A: A gorilla with a machine gun.

Q: Where does a monkey cook his toast ?
A: Under a gorilla!

Q: What is as big as a gorilla but weighs nothing?
A: Its shadow!

Q: What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group?
A: Bananarama!

Q: What should you do if you find a gorilla sitting at your school desk?
A: Sit somewhere else!

Q :How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae?
A: Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!

Q :Why did the Gorilla fail English?
A : He had little Ape-titude!

Q :Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?
A : Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

Q :Why did the actor fire his Gorilla agent?
A :The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite!

Q :Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?
A :The bear hug!

Q: How do you stop a gorilla from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!

Q : Which author do the Gorillas love most?
A: Joh Steinbeck – who wrote ‘The Apes of Wrath!’

Q :When did the Gorillas start to picket the cookie factory?
A: The day they started to manufacture animal crackers!

Q :Which book makes prudish Gorillas blush?
A : The Naked Ape!

Q. Why did the ape run around with a piece of raw meat on his head?
A. He thought he was a gorilla. (griller)

Q: Why are gorillas so noisy?
A: They were raised in a zoo!

Q: Why do waiters like Gorillas better than flies?
A: Did you ever hear a customer complain ‘Waiter, there’s a Gorilla in my soup!’

Q :What did George Washington have to do with Gorillas?
A : As little as possible, dummy!

Q:How did Gertie Gorilla make the ‘Playboy’ Calendar?
A:She was ‘Miss Ape-ril!’

Q :Which drink makes a Gorilla feel tipsy?
A :An ape-ricot sour!

Q :What gives a gorilla good taste?
A: Four years in an Ivy League school!

Q: What is a ape’s favourite toy?
A: A Bab-boom-orang!

Q: What do you call a gorilla playing quidditch?
A: A hairy potter!!

Q: Why don’t the gorillas in the jungle play poker any more?
A: There are just too many Cheetahs.

Q :How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?
A: He barked g-r-r-r-illa!

Q: Why did the gorilla go to the doctor?
A: Because his banana wasn’t peeling very well!

Q : How do you make a Gorilla float?
A: Two scoops of ice cream, some club soda and a very tasty Gorilla!

Q :What does a Gorilla learn first in school?
A: The Apey-cees!

Q: What do gorillas do when they go mad?
A: Go bananas!

Q :How did a Gorilla come to be with Washington at Valley Forge?
A : He had seen a sign saying, ‘Uncle Simian Wants You!’

Q :Why did the girl Gorilla, engaged to the invisible man, call off the wedding?
A : Because in the last analysis she just couldn’t see it!

Q :Why couldn’t the Gorilla pitcher make it in the major leagues?
A :His balk was worse than his bite!

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers!

Q :What does a Gorilla attorney study?
A :The Law of the jungle!