Q: What do you call a donkey with built-in GPS?
A: Comp-ass.

Sid was travelling down a country road in his native Yorkshire, England when he saw a crowd of people gathering outside a farmhouse.Prize Donkey Joke
It was a cold November afternoon, so he stopped and asked Farmer Ellis why such a large crowd of men was gathered there.
The farmer replied, ‘Jo’s donkey kicked his mother-in-law and she died.’
‘Well, ‘replied the man, ‘She must have had a lot of friends.’
‘Nope, ‘said Farmer Ellis.’ We all just want to buy his donkey.’

Q: What do you call a donkey that keeps time?
A: Hourgl-ass

Q: Did you hear about the donkey that was afraid to speak up for herself?
A: She was a candy-ass.

Q: What do you call a donkey with one leg ?
A: A wonkey donkey

Q: What do you get when a donkey eats a porcupine?
A: A pain in the ass.

Q: What do you get cross an optimetrist convention and a donkey auction?
A: Two eyegl-asses for the price of one.

Q: What do you call a donkey throwing nuts to the moon?
A: An ass throw nut (astronaut).

Q: What do you get when cross a donkey and an onion?
A: a piece of ass that’ll bring a tear to your eye!

There was a young man named Ahmed who bought a donkey from old farmer Farouk for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. When Farouk drove up the next day he says, ‘I am sorry but I have some bad news – the donkey is on my truck but he be dead.’

Ahmed replies, ‘Well then, just give me my money back.’
‘Can’t do that,’ burrs the farmer, ‘I went out and spent it already.’

Ahmed sighs, ‘OK just unload the donkey anyway.’
Farouk then asks, ‘What are you gonna do with a dead donkey an’ that?’ I’ll raffle him off,’ laughs Ahmed.

The farmer exclaimed, ‘Aargh, you can’t raffle off a dead donkey.’

But Ahmed with a big smile on his face tells Farouk, ‘Sure I can. Watch.
Just don’t tell anyone the donkey is dead.’

A month later the farmer Farouk met up with Ahmed and asks,
‘Whatever happened to that dead donkey?’Funny Donkey Story

Ahmed answers, ‘I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2.00 each and made a huge profit.’

Totally amazed the farmer Farouk enquires, ‘Didn’t anyone complain that you had stolen their money because you lied about the donkey being dead?’

‘The only one who found out about the donkey being dead was the raffle winner,’ chuckled Ahmed, ‘so when he came to claim his prize I gave him his $2.00 back plus $200.00 extra, which is double the going value of a dead donkey, so he thought I was a great fellow.’

Q:If you had a donkey and I had a chicken and if your donkey ate my chicken what will you have?
A:Three feet of my cock up your ass.

Q: What do you call a donkey that was born with a brain injury?
A: A dumb ass!!!

An old man and a little boy on a donkey were on their way into town. They passed by a group of people who said, “What a shame for that old man to be walking while that perfectly able-bodied boy rides that donkey.” So the boy got off the donkey and the old man got on. They later passed by some more people who said,” Why should that little boy have to walk when they have a donkey to ride on. So the little boy got on the donkey and they both rode it. After a while, they passed some more people. They overheard the people say, “That poor donkey must be wore out from carrying both of them.” So the little boy and old man picked up the donkey and started to carry it. They were carrying the donkey across a bridge. The weight of the donkey became just too unbearable and slipped from their grasp and went over the side of the bridge into the water and drowned. The moral of the story is: If You Try To Please Everyone You’ll Eventually Lose Your ASS!

Q: Did you hear about the hobo who thought he was a donkey?
A: His friends called him underp-ass.

Q: What happens when you buy a mini-donkey
A: Your getting a little ass!

Q: What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye while breaking wind ? A:
A stinkey winkey wonkey donkey

Q: What do donkeys send out near Christmas?
A: Mule-tide greetings.

Q: What do you call a Donkey that can go 0-40 in 3.4 seconds?
A: Fibergl-ass

Q: What happens when your carrying a donkey and you chuckle so hard you drop him?
A: You’re laughing your ass off.

Q: How do you compliment a donkey?
A: “Hey, nice ass!”