Q: How is a dog and a marine biologist alike?
A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.

Q: What do you call a large dog that meditates?
A: Aware wolf.

Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can’t bury them in trees!

Q: Why wouldn’t the dog sit on his chair?
A: Because he left his sheet[shit] on there.

Q: What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?
A: “Well, doggone!”

Q: Who is the dogs favorite comedian?
A: Growlcho Marx!

Q: Why do dogs wag their tails?
A: “Because no one else will do it for them!”

Q: What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy?
A: “I must throw that doggie out the window!”

Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show!

Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog?
A: A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!

Q: What did the skeleton say to the puppy?
A: bonappetite

Q: What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?
A: A golden receiver!

Q: What’s a dog’s ideal job?
A: Barkeology

Q: How can if you have a stupid dog?
A: It chases parked cars!

Q: What is the dogs favorite city?
A: New Yorkie!

Q: Why didn’t the dog speak to his foot?
A: Because it’s not polite to talk back to your paw!

Q: Where does a Rottweiller sit in the cinema?
A: Anywhere it wants to!

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter…. he’s not going to come anyway.

Q: What kind of dog likes taking a bath?
A: a shampoodle!

Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!

Q: What happens when a dog chases a cat into a geysur?
A: It starts raining cats and dogs.

Q: Why does a dog lick his own dick?
A: Because he cant make a fist

Q: Did you hear about the dog who couldn’t stop talking like a horse?
A: It was a dog and pony show.

Q: What do you call a black Eskimo dog?
A: A dusky husky!

Q: Why did the dog wear white sneakers?
A: Because his boots were at the menders!

Q: What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?
A: A friend you can count on.

Q: Why did the dog cross the road?
A: To get to the “barking” lot!

Q: Why did the dog need help on his Pros and Cons chart?
A: He was CON-fused!

Q: What do you call a frozen dog?
A: A pupsicle.

Q: What do you call a dog magician?
A: A labracadabrador.

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter…. he’s not going to come anyway.

Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A: A bloodhound!