Milk shake

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Q: What do you call an arab next to a cow?
A: Milk Sheikh!

Udder-catastrophe

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Q: What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence
A: Udder-Catastrophe

Beef stokin off

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Q: What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
A: Beef strokin’ off.

Cows read Newspaper

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Q: What newspaper do cows read?
A: The Daily Moos.

Pasta to cow

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Q: What do you get when you give pasta to a cow?
A: Beefaroni.

Sir loin

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Q: What do you call a cow with full armor?
A: Sir loin

Milking stool have

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Q: Why does a milking stool have only three legs?
A: Because the cow has the udder

Tits were getting long..

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Q :Why do cows have long faces?
A :Because you would have a long face too, if your tits were gettin pulled twice a day

Decalfenated

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Q: What do call a cow that has just had a calf?
A: Decalfenated

Holstain

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Q: What are the spots on black and white cows?
A: Holstains

Cows when sick

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Q: What do cows get when they are sick?
A: Hay Fever

Mooolasses

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Q: What does a cow put on his french toast?
A: Moooolasses.

The calf-eteria

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Q: Where do cows go for lunch?
A: The calf-eteria.

Nobody’s herd

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Q: What happened to the lost cattle?
A: Nobody’s herd.

Camooflauged

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Q: What do you call a cow you can’t see?
A: Camooflauged.

Orchestra and a bull

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Q: Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull?
A: On the bull the horns are in the front and the asshole is in the back.

Milk Dude

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Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: A MILK DUD!

Credit Card

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Q: How do you stop a bull from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!

Cow laughs to hard

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Q: What happens when a cow laughs too hard?
A: It Cowlapses!

Ground beef

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs at all?
A: Ground beef

Lawn moo-er

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Q: What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A: a lawn moo-er.

Cow get to the moon

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Q: How does a cow get to the mooooon?
A: It flies through udder space!

Got milk?

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Q: What did one dairy cow say to another?
A: Got milk?

Milk of Amnesia

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Q: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
A: Milk of Amnesia

Cow cross the road

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.

Cutlet above the rest

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Q: Did you hear about the snobby cow?
A: She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!

Ground beef

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Q: What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?
A: Ground Beef

Your calves

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Q: What animals do you bring to bed?
A: Your calves.

Mooooved to tear

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Q: What do you call a sad cow?
A: Mooooved to tears.

Bullogna

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Q: What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
A: Bullogna

Hey! This look likes yours :D

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A man staggers into the emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, and a five iron wrapped around his neck. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. “Well, it was like this” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around I noticed that one of the cows had something white in it’s rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt. Thats when I made my mistake.” “What did you do?”, asked the doctor. “Well, I lifted the tail, pointed, and yelled to my wife, “Hey! This looks like yours!”

Get a moove on

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Q: What did the cow say to the turtle?
A: Get a moove on

Farmers had cold hand

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Q: Do you know why the cow jumped over the moon?
A: The farmer had cold hands.

Precious book out of cow

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The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the cow. “Your name is written inside the cover.”