Q: What do you call an arab next to a cow?
A: Milk Sheikh!

Q: What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence
A: Udder-Catastrophe

Q: What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
A: Beef strokin’ off.

Q: What newspaper do cows read?
A: The Daily Moos.

Q: What do you get when you give pasta to a cow?
A: Beefaroni.

Q: What do you call a cow with full armor?
A: Sir loin

Q: Where do you find the most cows?
A: Moo-York

Q: Why does a milking stool have only three legs?
A: Because the cow has the udder

Q :Why do cows have long faces?
A :Because you would have a long face too, if your tits were gettin pulled twice a day

Q: What do call a cow that has just had a calf?
A: Decalfenated

Q: What are the spots on black and white cows?
A: Holstains

Q: What do cows get when they are sick?
A: Hay Fever

Q: What does a cow put on his french toast?
A: Moooolasses.

Q: Where do cows go for lunch?
A: The calf-eteria.

Q: What happened to the lost cattle?
A: Nobody’s herd.

Q: What do you call a cow you can’t see?
A: Camooflauged.

Q: Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull?
A: On the bull the horns are in the front and the asshole is in the back.

Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: A MILK DUD!

Q: How do you stop a bull from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!

Q: What happens when a cow laughs too hard?
A: It Cowlapses!

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs at all?
A: Ground beef

Q: What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A: a lawn moo-er.

Q: How does a cow get to the mooooon?
A: It flies through udder space!

Q: What did one dairy cow say to another?
A: Got milk?

Q: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
A: Milk of Amnesia

Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.

Q: Did you hear about the snobby cow?
A: She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!

Q: What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?
A: Ground Beef

Q: What animals do you bring to bed?
A: Your calves.

Q: What do you call a sad cow?
A: Mooooved to tears.

Q: What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
A: Bullogna

A man staggers into the emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, and a five iron wrapped around his neck. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. “Well, it was like this” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around I noticed that one of the cows had something white in it’s rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt. Thats when I made my mistake.” “What did you do?”, asked the doctor. “Well, I lifted the tail, pointed, and yelled to my wife, “Hey! This looks like yours!”

Q: What did the cow say to the turtle?
A: Get a moove on

Q: Do you know why the cow jumped over the moon?
A: The farmer had cold hands.

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the cow. “Your name is written inside the cover.”