Q: What do cows read in the mornings?
A: The moospaper.

Q: Where do Russians get their milk?
A: From Mos-cows

A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. “What a cute bunch of cows!” she remarked. “Not a bunch, herd”, her friend replied. “Heard of what?” “Herd of cows.” “Of course I’ve heard of cows.” “No, a cow herd.” “What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!”

Q: Why did cow jump over the moon?
A: Because he wanted to skydive

Q: What did mama cow say to baby cow?
A: It’s pasture bedtime.

My cow refuses to give milk, and you know why, of course. She’s been grazing in the field too long,… And now she thinks she’s a horse.

Q: Why are cows so soft?
A: Because they are made out of leather.

Q: Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs?
A: Because the cow has the utter.

Q: What did the bored cow say when she got up in the morning?
A: “It’s just an udder day”

Q :What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A :A lawn moo-er.

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer

Q: Why don’t cows have any money?
A: Because farmers milk them dry

Q: How do you make a milkshake?
A: Give a cow a pogo stick.

Q: Have you ever heard the term “When Pigs Fly!”……
A: Well what if it were “When Cows Fly!”

Q: Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain?
A: He’s got no beef.

Q : Where do cows go when they want a night out?
A: To the moo-vies!

Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk.

Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: An udder failure.

Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?
A: Beef Jerky

Q: How can you tell which cow is the best dancer?
A: Wait til one busts a moooooove

Q: What’s a cow’s favorite moosical note?
A: Beef-flat

Q: What do you call a cow with an assistant?
A: Moooooving up in the world.

Q: Which job is a cow most suited for?
A: Baker. Because they’re making cow pies regularly.

Q :Why does the cow bring toilet paper to the party?
A : Because he is a party pooper.

Q: Why is the barn so noisy?
A: Because all of the cows have horns.

Two cows were out in a field eating grass. One cow turns to the other cow and says, “Moooooo!” “Hey”, the other cow replies…. “I was just about to say the same thing!”

Q: Did you hear that Chuck Norris is a matador?
A: He takes the bull by the horns.

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a lawnmower?
A: A lawnmooer.

Q: What do you call a grumpy cow?
A: Moo-dy

Q: What do you call a cow that can cut the grass?
A: Mulan.

Q: What was the first animal in space?
A: The cow that jumped over the moon!

Q: What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A: A steak out.

Q: Did you hear about the cow that wasn’t interested in bulls?
A: She was an Ho-Moo-Sexual.

Q: What do you find a gallery of cows?
A: The mooseum.

Q: What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence
A: Udder-Catastrophe