Nobody’s herd

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Q: What happened to the lost cattle?
A: Nobody’s herd.

Camooflauged

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Q: What do you call a cow you can’t see?
A: Camooflauged.

Orchestra and a bull

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Q: Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull?
A: On the bull the horns are in the front and the asshole is in the back.

Milk Dude

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Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: A MILK DUD!

Credit Card

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Q: How do you stop a bull from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!

Cow laughs to hard

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Q: What happens when a cow laughs too hard?
A: It Cowlapses!

Ground beef

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs at all?
A: Ground beef

Lawn moo-er

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Q: What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A: a lawn moo-er.

Cow get to the moon

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Q: How does a cow get to the mooooon?
A: It flies through udder space!

Got milk?

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Q: What did one dairy cow say to another?
A: Got milk?

Milk of Amnesia

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Q: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
A: Milk of Amnesia

Cow cross the road

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.

Cutlet above the rest

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Q: Did you hear about the snobby cow?
A: She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!

Ground beef

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Q: What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?
A: Ground Beef

Your calves

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Q: What animals do you bring to bed?
A: Your calves.

Bullogna

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Q: What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
A: Bullogna

Hey! This look likes yours :D

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A man staggers into the emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, and a five iron wrapped around his neck. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. “Well, it was like this” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around I noticed that one of the cows had something white in it’s rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt. Thats when I made my mistake.” “What did you do?”, asked the doctor. “Well, I lifted the tail, pointed, and yelled to my wife, “Hey! This looks like yours!”

Mooooved to tear

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Q: What do you call a sad cow?
A: Mooooved to tears.

Farmers had cold hand

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Q: Do you know why the cow jumped over the moon?
A: The farmer had cold hands.

Precious book out of cow

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The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the cow. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

Get a moove on

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Q: What did the cow say to the turtle?
A: Get a moove on

Bankrupt Cowboy

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Q: Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain?
A: He’s got no beef.

Lean beef

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Q: What do you call a cow with no front legs?
A: Lean Beef

Moo-moos

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Q: What do cows wear in Hawaii?
A: Moo- moos

A half Cows

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Q: What do you call I half a cow?
A: a calf.

Blue cheese!

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Q: What do you get when you cross and smurf and a cow?
A: Blue cheese!

Cows Will be in heaven

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Q: How to you know that cows will be in heaven?
A: It’s a place of udder delight.

Cows listen Piano

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Q: What did the cow say when a person played the piano?
A: That’s good moooooosic.

The meet Market

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Q: Where do cows get together?
A: The meet market.

Moody blues

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Q: What band is a cow favorite?
A: Moody Blues

Hits the bull’s eye

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Q: Did you hear about the blonde that died with a bow and arrow in her hand?
A: She hit the bull’s eye.

Mooooove Over

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Q: What did one cow say to the other?
A: Mooooooove over!

Talk to a cow

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Q: What happens when you talk to a cow?
A: It goes in one ear and out the udder!

Barn so noisy

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Q: Why is a barn so noisy?
A: All the cows have horns.