Q: What do you find a gallery of cows?
A: The mooseum.

Q: What do you call an arab next to a cow?
A: Milk Sheikh!

Q: What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence
A: Udder-Catastrophe

Q: What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
A: Beef strokin’ off.

Q: What newspaper do cows read?
A: The Daily Moos.

Q: What do you get when you give pasta to a cow?
A: Beefaroni.

Q: What do you call a cow with full armor?
A: Sir loin

Q: Where do you find the most cows?
A: Moo-York

Q: Why does a milking stool have only three legs?
A: Because the cow has the udder

Q :Why do cows have long faces?
A :Because you would have a long face too, if your tits were gettin pulled twice a day

Q: What do call a cow that has just had a calf?
A: Decalfenated

Q: What are the spots on black and white cows?
A: Holstains

Q: What do cows get when they are sick?
A: Hay Fever

Q: What does a cow put on his french toast?
A: Moooolasses.

Q: Where do cows go for lunch?
A: The calf-eteria.

Q: What happened to the lost cattle?
A: Nobody’s herd.

Q: What do you call a cow you can’t see?
A: Camooflauged.

Q: Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull?
A: On the bull the horns are in the front and the asshole is in the back.

Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: A MILK DUD!

Q: How do you stop a bull from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!

Q: What happens when a cow laughs too hard?
A: It Cowlapses!

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs at all?
A: Ground beef

Q: What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A: a lawn moo-er.

Q: How does a cow get to the mooooon?
A: It flies through udder space!

Q: What did one dairy cow say to another?
A: Got milk?

Q: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
A: Milk of Amnesia

Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.

Q: Did you hear about the snobby cow?
A: She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!

Q: What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?
A: Ground Beef

Q: What animals do you bring to bed?
A: Your calves.

Q: What do you call a sad cow?
A: Mooooved to tears.

Q: What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
A: Bullogna

A man staggers into the emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, and a five iron wrapped around his neck. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. “Well, it was like this” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around I noticed that one of the cows had something white in it’s rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt. Thats when I made my mistake.” “What did you do?”, asked the doctor. “Well, I lifted the tail, pointed, and yelled to my wife, “Hey! This looks like yours!”

Q: What did the cow say to the turtle?
A: Get a moove on

Q: Do you know why the cow jumped over the moon?
A: The farmer had cold hands.