Mos-cows

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Q: Where do Russians get their milk?
A: From Mos-cows

Cute Bunch of Cows

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A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. “What a cute bunch of cows!” she remarked. “Not a bunch, herd”, her friend replied. “Heard of what?” “Herd of cows.” “Of course I’ve heard of cows.” “No, a cow herd.” “What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!”

Wanted to skydive

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Q: Why did cow jump over the moon?
A: Because he wanted to skydive

Baby Cow

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Q: What did mama cow say to baby cow?
A: It’s pasture bedtime.

Cow Refuses to Give milk

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My cow refuses to give milk, and you know why, of course. She’s been grazing in the field too long,… And now she thinks she’s a horse.

Made out of leather

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Q: Why are cows so soft?
A: Because they are made out of leather.

Milking stool

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Q: Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs?
A: Because the cow has the utter.

Its justan udder day

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Q: What did the bored cow say when she got up in the morning?
A: “It’s just an udder day”

Lawn moo-er

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Q :What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A :A lawn moo-er.

Bull-Dozer

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Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer

Farmers milk them dry

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Q: Why don’t cows have any money?
A: Because farmers milk them dry

Cow have a pogo stick

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Q: How do you make a milkshake?
A: Give a cow a pogo stick.

When cows fly

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Q: Have you ever heard the term “When Pigs Fly!”……
A: Well what if it were “When Cows Fly!”

Cowboy complain

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Q: Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain?
A: He’s got no beef.

Moovies

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Q : Where do cows go when they want a night out?
A: To the moo-vies!

How to get chocolate milk

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Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk.

Udder Failure

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Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: An udder failure.

Beef Jerky

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Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?
A: Beef Jerky

Cow is a best dancer

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Q: How can you tell which cow is the best dancer?
A: Wait til one busts a moooooove

Beef-flat

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Q: What’s a cow’s favorite moosical note?
A: Beef-flat

Moooving up in the world

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Q: What do you call a cow with an assistant?
A: Moooooving up in the world.

Making Cow Pies

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Q: Which job is a cow most suited for?
A: Baker. Because they’re making cow pies regularly.

Cow bring toilet paper

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Q :Why does the cow bring toilet paper to the party?
A : Because he is a party pooper.

cows have horns

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Q: Why is the barn so noisy?
A: Because all of the cows have horns.

Cows eating grass

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Two cows were out in a field eating grass. One cow turns to the other cow and says, “Moooooo!” “Hey”, the other cow replies…. “I was just about to say the same thing!”

Takes the bull by the horns

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Q: Did you hear that Chuck Norris is a matador?
A: He takes the bull by the horns.

Cross cow with lawnmoower

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a lawnmower?
A: A lawnmooer.

Moo-day

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Q: What do you call a grumpy cow?
A: Moo-dy

Cow can cut the grass

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Q: What do you call a cow that can cut the grass?
A: Mulan.

First animal in space

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Q: What was the first animal in space?
A: The cow that jumped over the moon!

Ho-mo-sexual

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Q: Did you hear about the cow that wasn’t interested in bulls?
A: She was an Ho-Moo-Sexual.

Cows spies on another cow

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Q: What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A: A steak out.

Gallery of Cows

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Q: What do you find a gallery of cows?
A: The mooseum.

Udder-catastrophe

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Q: What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence
A: Udder-Catastrophe

Milk shake

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Q: What do you call an arab next to a cow?
A: Milk Sheikh!