Udder Failure

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Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: An udder failure.

Beef Jerky

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Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?
A: Beef Jerky

Cow is a best dancer

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Q: How can you tell which cow is the best dancer?
A: Wait til one busts a moooooove

Beef-flat

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Q: What’s a cow’s favorite moosical note?
A: Beef-flat

Moooving up in the world

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Q: What do you call a cow with an assistant?
A: Moooooving up in the world.

Making Cow Pies

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Q: Which job is a cow most suited for?
A: Baker. Because they’re making cow pies regularly.

Cow bring toilet paper

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Q :Why does the cow bring toilet paper to the party?
A : Because he is a party pooper.

cows have horns

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Q: Why is the barn so noisy?
A: Because all of the cows have horns.

Takes the bull by the horns

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Q: Did you hear that Chuck Norris is a matador?
A: He takes the bull by the horns.

Cows eating grass

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Two cows were out in a field eating grass. One cow turns to the other cow and says, “Moooooo!” “Hey”, the other cow replies…. “I was just about to say the same thing!”

Cross cow with lawnmoower

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a lawnmower?
A: A lawnmooer.

Moo-day

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Q: What do you call a grumpy cow?
A: Moo-dy

Cow can cut the grass

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Q: What do you call a cow that can cut the grass?
A: Mulan.

First animal in space

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Q: What was the first animal in space?
A: The cow that jumped over the moon!

Cows spies on another cow

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Q: What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A: A steak out.

Ho-mo-sexual

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Q: Did you hear about the cow that wasn’t interested in bulls?
A: She was an Ho-Moo-Sexual.

Gallery of Cows

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Q: What do you find a gallery of cows?
A: The mooseum.

Udder-catastrophe

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Q: What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence
A: Udder-Catastrophe

Milk shake

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Q: What do you call an arab next to a cow?
A: Milk Sheikh!

Beef stokin off

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Q: What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
A: Beef strokin’ off.

Cows read Newspaper

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Q: What newspaper do cows read?
A: The Daily Moos.

Pasta to cow

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Q: What do you get when you give pasta to a cow?
A: Beefaroni.

Sir loin

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Q: What do you call a cow with full armor?
A: Sir loin

Milking stool have

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Q: Why does a milking stool have only three legs?
A: Because the cow has the udder

Tits were getting long..

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Q :Why do cows have long faces?
A :Because you would have a long face too, if your tits were gettin pulled twice a day

Decalfenated

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Q: What do call a cow that has just had a calf?
A: Decalfenated

Holstain

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Q: What are the spots on black and white cows?
A: Holstains

Cows when sick

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Q: What do cows get when they are sick?
A: Hay Fever

Mooolasses

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Q: What does a cow put on his french toast?
A: Moooolasses.

The calf-eteria

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Q: Where do cows go for lunch?
A: The calf-eteria.

Nobody’s herd

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Q: What happened to the lost cattle?
A: Nobody’s herd.

Camooflauged

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Q: What do you call a cow you can’t see?
A: Camooflauged.

Orchestra and a bull

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Q: Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull?
A: On the bull the horns are in the front and the asshole is in the back.

Milk Dude

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Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: A MILK DUD!