Q: Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
A: He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be!

Psychiatrist: What seems to be the problem?
Patient: I think I’m a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long as this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I came out of my shell.

Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A: An alarm cluck!

Q: What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye?
A: CHICKEN CAESER SALAD (CHICKEN SEES A SALAD)

Q: What does an alarm cluck say?
A: “Tick-tock-a-doodle-doo!”

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, “I think I can stand over the hole!” So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, “Grab for my penis and pull yourself up.” And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
Moral of the Story: If you’re hung like a horse, you don’t need a BMW to pick up chicks.

Q: How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
A: In a HEN-velope!

Q: What happens when you drop a hand gren-egg?
A: It eggs-plodes!

Q: What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A: A Hensemble.

Q: What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A: A brick layer!

Q: Why did McDonald’s run out of chicken McNuggets?
A: The farmer counted his chickens before they hatched.

Q: Whats the difference between meat and chicken?
A: If you beat your chicken it dies.

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck?
A: A bird that lays down!

Q: What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
A: She lays hand gren-eggs!

Q: What do you call the outside of a hand gren-egg?
A: The bombshell!

Q: Why did the chicken stand in the middle of the road?
A: Coz he wanted to play squash!

Q: Why did the rooster run away?
A: He was chicken!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
A: He was a double-crosser!

Q: What do chickens grow on?
A: Eggplants!

Q: What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken?
A: She kicked the bucket!

Q: Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?
A: Because they were chicken

Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a telephone pole?
A: a 10 foot cock that wants to touch someone.

Q: Why did the chicken go to Burger King?
A: To see a chicken strip.

Q: How do you get a fat chick into bed?
A: Piece of Cake

Q: What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
A: An eggroll!

Q: What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
A: They go on peck-nics!

Q: Why did the piece of gum cross the road?
A: Because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
A: He heard the referee calling fowls

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road roll in mud and cross the road again?
A: Because he was a dirty double crosser

Q: How did the headless chicken cross the road?
A: in a KFC bucket.

Q: Why did half a chicken cross the road?
A: To get to its other side!

Q: Why did the chicken go to KFC?
A: He wanted to see a chicken strip.

Q: Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
A: Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!

Q: Why don’t chickens wear pants?
A: There peckers on their face.

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn’t chicken!