Bear like Bald man

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Q: Why do polar bears like bald men?
A: Because they have a great, white, bear (uh…bare) place!

Penguin In a Gas station

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A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. While doing thisthe clerk spots two penguins sitting on the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, “What’s up with the penguins in the back seat?” The man in the car says, “I found them. I asked myself what to do with them but, I haven’t a clue.” The clerk ponders a bit then says, “You should take them to the zoo.” “Yeah, that’s a good idea,” says the man in the car and drives away. The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car. “Hey, they’re still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo!” “Oh, I did,” says the driver, “and we had a great time. Today I’m taking them to the beach.”

Toads lay so many Eggs

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Q: How do toads manage to lay so many eggs?
A: They sit eggsaminations!

Macintosh Computer

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Q: What type of a computer does a horse like to eat?
A: A Macintosh

Crocodile attack lawyers

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Q: Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy!

Smart Porcupine

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A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a porcupine sitting next to him. “Are you a porcupine?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes.” “What are you doing at the movies?” The porcupine replied, “Well, I liked the book.”

Bottle Of vinegar

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Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
A: A sourpuss!

Credit Card

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Q: How do you stop a bull from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!

Tell a runaway horse

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Q: What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?
A: A tale of WHOA!

Taunt a crocodile

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Q: Why shouldn’t you taunt a crocodile?
A: Because it might come back to bite you in the end.

Chistmas to Ewe

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Q: How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A: Merry Christmas to Ewe!

Lollihops :D

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Q: What’s a toads favorite sweet?
A: Lollihops!

Missed match socks

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Q: What do you call a mismatched pair of socks in the wash?
A: Evidence.

Stuckt

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Q :What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
A :Stuck!

Tadpole is new to the area

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Q: Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
A: Because he was newt to the area!

Happy polar bears

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Q: What has four legs and a flipper?
A: A happy polar bear!

Shelfies

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Q: What kind of photos does a turtle take?
A: Shellfies.

Dirty double crosser

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Q : What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again?
A :  A dirty double-crosser!

Tired to fired

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Q: Did you hear about the man who tried to feed a bear an Apple?
A: It didn’t bear fruit.

Girls of my Ex-boyfriend

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Q :Girl: One of my ex-boyfriends sounds like an owl. Boy:
A :Who?

When your nose touches the ceiling

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Q :How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?
A :When your nose touches the ceiling!

Ten Pounds

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Q: Whats the difference between your mom and a blue whale?
A: ten pounds.

Shark terk

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Q: What is a sharks favorite sci-fi show
A: Shark Trek

Paint rabbits on his head

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Q: Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
A: Because from a distance they looked like hares!

Cute Friday

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Q: A man from the olden days rode into town on his horse he spended six days and left on Friday how is this possible?
A: Friday was the name of his horse.

Get a horse drunk

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Q: How do you get a horse drunk?
A: Drink him under the stable.

Giraffe snots

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Q: Whats green and hangs from trees?
A: Giraffe snot.

Golf blooded Frog

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Q :What do you call a rich frog?
A :A golf blooded amphibian!

Sergeants in tha army

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Q: How are tigers are like sergeants in the army?
A: They both wear stripes!

Cougars always meat raw meat

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Q: Why do cougars always eat raw meat?
A: Because they don’t know how to cook.

Monkey cook his toast

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Q: Where does a monkey cook his toast ?
A: Under a gorilla!

Sharks favourite century

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Q: Who was the shark’s favorite 20th century art figure?
A: Marcel DuChomp

Firen from hi job

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Q: Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
A: He would only do the BEAR minimum.

Kind of horses

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Q: What kind of horses go out after dusk?
A: Nightmares!