Chicken Lays

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Q: What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
A: An eggroll!

Owl Magician

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Q: What do you call an owl magician?
A: Hoooooo-dini

Baby Cow

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Q: What did mama cow say to baby cow?
A: It’s pasture bedtime.

Chicken families

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Q: What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
A: They go on peck-nics!

Gorilla Float

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Q : How do you make a Gorilla float?
A: Two scoops of ice cream, some club soda and a very tasty Gorilla!

Dinosaur shot

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Q: What’s green and hangs from trees?
A: Dinosaur snot.

The greatest gift of husband

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
husband-wife-gift
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?”

“My darling,”
he replied, “I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”

Sara’s top

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Q: What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business?
A: Try Sara’s Tops

Censorerd fun

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Q: What do you call the loose skin around the vagina?
A: An otter

Tastes funny too

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Q: What did one shark say to the other after eating a clown fish?
A: ‘Not only does it look funny, but it tastes funny too.’

Different between OJ simpson

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Q: What’s the difference between OJ Simpson and the Sharks?
A: OJ Simpson had a more credible defence…

Cow Refuses to Give milk

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My cow refuses to give milk, and you know why, of course. She’s been grazing in the field too long,… And now she thinks she’s a horse.

Elephant Pack his luggage

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Q :Where does an elephant pack his luggage?
A :In his trunk!

Baby Dinosaur

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Q: What do dinosaurs have that no other animals have?
A: Baby Dinosaurs.

platypus crossing the road

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Q: Why did the platypus cross the road?
A: To show the possum that it could be done.

Santa singh starting chicken farm

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Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with.
A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died.

planting-chicken

A month later he was back at the same dealer for another hundred chickens because the second lot had also died and then Santa realised “I think I know where I’m going wrong,” said Santa, “I think I’m planting them too deep.”

Extensive Vocablury

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Q: What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?
A: a thesaurus

Caramel coated popcorn

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Q: What brand of caramel-coated popcorn and peanuts do sharks prefer?
A: Cracker Sharks

Egg cross the road

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Q: How did the egg cross the road?
A: It scrambled across!

Chickens foot

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Q: Why did the piece of gum cross the road?
A: Because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot.

Barn Owl serves at party

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Q: What do Barn Owl’s serve at parties?
A: Mush’Shrew’ms, ‘Vole’avaunts and Micecream!

Avagadro is in love

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Q: Why is Avogadro in love with Cindy Crawford?
A: She’s his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).

Plug its nose

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Q: How do you make a skunk stop smelling?
A: Plug up its nose!

Marine Biologists

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Q: How is a dog and a marine biologist alike?
A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.

Grapes wine

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Q :What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
A :Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Prefer a cat dialogue

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Q: Why don’t cats like online shopping?
A: They prefer a cat-alogue.

Cross polar bear with seal

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Q: What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal?
A: A polar bear.

Pyramids of Giza

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Q: Did you know that cats designed the great pyramids of Giza?
A: It was all drawn out on paw-pyrus.

Cross a tiger With sheep

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Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?
A: A stripey sweater!