Bird that talks

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Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A: A bird that talks your ear off!

Isko bolo humne Hajj bi kia hai

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1 Pathan Eid ki Namaz parh raha tha
.
To dosra usky bare mai kesi ko bata raha tha ke yai boht Namazi owr naik banda hai.
.
Pathan Namaz thor kar bola:
Es ko bolo ke “hum ne Haj bhi kia hai”

How fast you carry it

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Q: Is it true that a dinosaur won’t attack if you hold a tree branch?
A: That depends on how fast you carry it!

Long heaird hippo

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Q: What do you call a long haired hippo?
A: A hippy

Quicksand litter box

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Q: What do you need to get a fast cat to use the litter box?
A: Quicksand.

I hate that beggar

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Wife: I hate that beggar.
Husband: Why?
Wife: Yesterday I gave him food and today he gave me a book “How to Cook”!

Mcdonald’s run out of Chicken

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Q: Why did McDonald’s run out of chicken McNuggets?
A: The farmer counted his chickens before they hatched.

T.T.E going to kill bihari

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There was this Bihari who was travelling with two tickets, so when
the T.T.E asked for the ticket, this fellow gave both the tickets, and
so the T.T.E asked him the reason of buying two tickes , this fellow
answered well what will happen if in case I lose one of them, so the
T.T.E said what if you lose both of them, so this guy said then why
do I have a monthly pass.

Cross a parrot with elephant

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Q :What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant?
A :An animal that tells you everything that it remembers!

1 pathan Eid wale din Movie dekh rha tha

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1 Pathan Eid wale din Cinema mai Film dekh raha tha.
.
Film mai 1 Shair dowarty howe araha tha.
.
Pathan ne dekha tu dar gia, owr apni chadir kandhy pa dal kar bhaagny laga
Logo ne kaha: Khan Sahib mat daro, yai tu film hai
.
Pathan: Wo tu mujh ko bhi pata hai ke yai film hai, lekin wo tu janwar hai, usko kia pata

Home schooled

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Q: Did the shark who was raised by fish receive any education?
A: Yes, he was home-schooled (in a school of fish)

Street Sharks get arrested

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Q: why did the street sharks get arrested
A: dorsal profiling

Old neigh-vy

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Q: Where do horses shop?
A: Old Neigh-vy!

Drowing otter

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Q: How do you save a drowning otter?
A: Take your foot of its head

Prince and her paw parr

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Q: What is a cats favorite book?
A: The prince and the paw-purr.

Little boy on Donkey

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donkey_dead

An old man and a little boy on a donkey were on their way into town. They passed by a group of people who said, “What a shame for that old man to be walking while that perfectly able-bodied boy rides that donkey.” So the boy got off the donkey and the old man got on. They later passed by some more people who said,” Why should that little boy have to walk when they have a donkey to ride on. So the little boy got on the donkey and they both rode it. After a while, they passed some more people. They overheard the people say, “That poor donkey must be wore out from carrying both of them.” So the little boy and old man picked up the donkey and started to carry it. They were carrying the donkey across a bridge. The weight of the donkey became just too unbearable and slipped from their grasp and went over the side of the bridge into the water and drowned. The moral of the story is: If You Try To Please Everyone You’ll Eventually Lose Your ASS!

Feet smell nasty

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Q: Why does a brontosaurus have a long neck?
A: Because it’s feet smell.

Sharks favourite smell

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Q: What is a shark’s favorite smell?
A: Human blood.

Seagulls in cenima

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A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a seagull sitting next to him.
“Are you a seagull?” asked the man,
surprised. “Yes.”
“What are you doing at the movies?” The seagull replied,
“Well, I liked the book.”

M.P

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Officer: What Is Your Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: Tell Me Properly.
Candidate: Mohan Pal Sir

Officer: Your Father’s Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: What Does That Mean?
Candidate: Manmohan Pal Sir

Officer: Your Native Place
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: Is It Madhya Pradesh?
Candidate: No, Munnur Pal Sir

Officer: What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: (angrily) What Is It?
Candidate: Metric Pass

Officer: Why Do You Need A Job?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: And What Does That Mean?
Candidate: Money Problem Sir

Officer: Describe Your Personality
Candidate: M P. Sir

interview-desk

Officer: Explain Yourself Clearly
Candidate: Magnanimous Personality Sir

Officer: This Discussion Is Nowhere, You May Go Now.
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: What Is It Now
Candidate: My Performance. ..?

Officer: M.P!!!
Candidate: What Is That Sir?

Officer: Mental Problems

Stupid Zebra

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Why does the zebra bring toilet paper to the party?
Because he is a party pooper.

Hits the bull’s eye

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Q: Did you hear about the blonde that died with a bow and arrow in her hand?
A: She hit the bull’s eye.

Avagadro is so rich

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Q: Why is Avogadro so rich?
A: He’s a multi-mole-ionare!

Elephant at North pole

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Q :What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
A :Lost!

End of the rainbow

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Q :Where do frogs keep their treasure?
A :In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow!

Grapes under the Owl

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Q: What did the grape say when the Owl stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Bill Clinton invites behari to teach english

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Lalu Prasad was once invited by Bill Clinton to White House for one month to learn English.
One month later, Rabri Devi called White House to check how much English Lalu learnt there.
Bill Clinton picked up the phone.
Rabri(assuming it would be Lalu on the other end) : “Kyun ji, English bole la sikh le la?”
Clinton : “Are bhauji aap, pranam! Lalua to kucho nahi sikh saka, hum Bill Clinton(wa) bol raha hun.”

He can’t hear you

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Q: What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on?
A: Anything you want. He can’t hear you.

Raccoon stand on it

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Q: What did the grape say when the Raccoon stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Let out a little wine

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Q :What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
A :Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Donkey kicked his Mother

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Sid was travelling down a country road in his native Yorkshire, England when he saw a crowd of people gathering outside a farmhouse.Prize Donkey Joke

It was a cold November afternoon, so he stopped and asked Farmer Ellis why such a large crowd of men was gathered there.

The farmer replied, ‘Jo’s donkey kicked his mother-in-law and she died.’

‘Well, ‘replied the man, ‘She must have had a lot of friends.’

‘Nope, ‘said Farmer Ellis.’ We all just want to buy his donkey.’

Llama in rodeos

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Q: Why aren’t llamas in rodeos?
A: `Cause they ain’t ticklish!

ugly little boy

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A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a bb gun in one hand and a platypus in the other. “Now Listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy. “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”