Cows eating grass

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Two cows were out in a field eating grass. One cow turns to the other cow and says, “Moooooo!” “Hey”, the other cow replies…. “I was just about to say the same thing!”

Takes the bull by the horns

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Q: Did you hear that Chuck Norris is a matador?
A: He takes the bull by the horns.

Elephant favourite film

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Q :What is an elephants favorite film? Elephantasia What do elephants say as a compliment?
A :You look elephantastic!

Cat wear Paw jamas..!!

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Q: What do cats wear at night?
A: paw-jamas!

No one ever tells him

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Q: Why don’t dinosaurs ever forget?
A: Because no one ever tells them anything!

Happy rabbit

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Q: What do you call a happy rabbit?
A: An Hop-timist.

Carrot in the ears

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Q: What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears ?
A: Anything you want, it can’t hear you!

not good for health

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Q : Why is a reindeer like a gossip?
A : Because they are both tail bearers

Opposable thumbs

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Q: Why don’t sharks have tools?
A: They don’t have opposable thumbs

crossing the road

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Q: What do get when a platypus crosses the road? A: You get a flatypus.

English man and two other

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An englishman an irishman and a scotsman were in the sweltering desert walking around looking desperatly for something to eat and drink, when, as if out of nowhere, a camel appeared. The englishman caught the camel and spluttered I support “Liverpool, so I suppose I better eat the liver.” The scotsman immediately shouted, “Well I support Hearts so I’ll eat the heart.” And then the rather mentally challenged irishman said, “I support Arsenal, but I don’t feel hungry any more.

One Wags a tail

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Q: How is a dog and a marine biologist alike?
A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.

Hare dryer

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Q: What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a leaf blower?
A: A hare dryer!

Embarrassed Elephant

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Q :What’s grey but turns red?
A :An embarrassed elephant!

Nuts and Bolts

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Q: Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
A: To get down to the nuts and bolts.

Call 114 frogs

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Q :What do you call 144 frogs in a box?
A :Gross!

Passenger plane like Elephant

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Q :What do you call a passenger plane shaped like an elephant?
A :A dumbo jet.

Cross cow with lawnmoower

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a lawnmower?
A: A lawnmooer.

Cross parrot with Gorilla

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Q : What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?
A : Nobody is sure, but if it opened its mouth to speak, you’d listen!

Ice breaker

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Q: What do you call a polar bear on thin ice?
A: an ice breaker

17 Management Funda’s for you

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1.”We will do it” means “You will do it”

2.”You have done a great job” means “More work to be given to you”

3.”We are working on it” means “We have not yet started working on the
same”

4.”Tomorrow first thing in the morning” means “Its not getting done
“At least not tomorrow!”

5.”After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views” means “I have already decided, I will tell you what to do”

6.”There was a slight miscommunication” means “We had actually lied”
office-management-fundas
7.”Lets call a meeting and discuss” means “I have no time now, will talk later”

8.”We can always do it” means “We actually cannot do the same on time”

9.”We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline” means “The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time.”

10.”We had slight differences of opinion “means “We had actually fought”

11.”Make a list of the work that you do and let’s see how I can help you” means “Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me”

12.”You should have told me earlier” means “Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!”
offce-computers
13.”We need to find out the real reason” means “Well I will tell you where your fault is”

14.”Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected,” means, “Well you know…”

15.”We are a team,” means, “I am not the only one to be blamed”

16.”That’s actually a good question” means “I do not know anything about it”

17.”All the Best” means “You are in trouble”

Penguins In Revolving Door

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Q: What’s black and white and goes round and around?
A: A Penguin in a revolving door.

Blubbering Gum

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Q :What did the shark say to the whale?
A: What are you blubbering about?

Haryy Otter

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Q: What do you call a kids book about otters?
A: Harry Otter.

End of me

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Q :What did the elephant say when the man grabbed him by the tail?
A :This is the end of me!

Baaa boon

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Q: What animal sounds like a sheep but isn’t?
A: A baaaa-boon!

Sexy elephant figure

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In an elephant’s school, some loafer elephants were hanging around in the canteen. A sexy female elephant passes by the canteen.

Sexy elephant figure

Then one of the elephants says: “Look yaar, 3600 – 2400 – 3600!!”

Polar Bear with Harp Seal

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Q: What do you get if you cross a polar bear and a harp seal?
A: A bear faced lyre!

Don’t be aggressive on Eid day..

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Wishing You HAPPY EID MUBARAK in Advance For The Following 10 Yerar,

2011
2012
2013
2014
2015
2016
2017
2018
2019
2020

Agar Coming 10 Years Main Aap Ko Koi Pehlay Wish Karnay Ka Dawa Karay,

Tau Aik Rakh Kay Chamaat Daina Aur Yeh SMS Dikha Daina.

O.K

Don’t Delete It.

Chocolate Baar

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Q: what is a sheep’s favourite food?
A: chocolate baar.

Frog in bathtub

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Q : What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A : A rubbit!

Skunk with bear

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Q: What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
A: Winnie the PU!

Moo-day

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Q: What do you call a grumpy cow?
A: Moo-dy

hamster with no leg

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Q :What do you call a hamster with no legs?
A: A furball.