Whale of tale

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :How do you make a Gorilla laugh?
A :Tell it a whale of a tale!

Elephant crossing the road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :Why did the elephant cross the road?
A :Because the Elephant was having a day off!

Pollunomial Parrots

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (5 votes, average: 3.60 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a parrot that doesn’t eat?
A: A polynomeal (polynomial)

What happens at Sunday morning at 11?

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (22 votes, average: 3.91 out of 5)
Loading...

This case happened in a hospital’s Intensive care ward where Patients always died in the same bed and on all Sunday morning at 11a.m, regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.

So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves
what the terrible phenomenon was all about
.

Doctors

Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil……..
Just when the Clock struck 11…

And then……

then…..

then……..

sweeper

Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward, unplugged the life support system and plugged in the vacuum cleaner.

Quack me up

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the bunny say to the duck?
A: You quack me up!

Speak to his foot

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why didn’t the dog speak to his foot?
A: Because it’s not polite to talk back to your paw!

Illegaly Parked Frog

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What do you call an illegally parked frog?
A :Toad.

Donkey Auction

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get cross an optimetrist convention and a donkey auction?
A: Two eyegl-asses for the price of one.

Nuts to the moon

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (5 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a donkey throwing nuts to the moon?
A: An ass throw nut (astronaut).

Sheep Arrested

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (5 votes, average: 3.60 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why was the sheep arrested on the freeway?
A: Because she did a ewe-turn!

Fleece Navidad!!

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (6 votes, average: 4.17 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: “Fleece Navidad!”

Tire-annosaurus

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (6 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What made the dinosaur’s car stop ?
A: A flat Tire-annosaurus !

Dinosaucer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet?
A: A Dinosaucer

Get me a beer before it starts

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (17 votes, average: 3.88 out of 5)
Loading...

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.”

The wife sighs and gets him a beer.

Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me another beer before it starts.”

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.

He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it’s going to start any minute.”

Men-watching-tv
The wife is furious. She yells at him,

Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob and furthermore . . .”

The man sighs and says, “It’s started.”

Rottweiller in Cenima

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Where does a Rottweiller sit in the cinema?
A: Anywhere it wants to!

Out of the way

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when a dinosaur blows it’s nose?
A: OUT of the way!!

Eggs Stinks

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why are dinosaurs no longer around?
A: Because their eggs stink.

Moos-quitos

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (6 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What has antlers and sucks blood?
A: A moose-quito!

ferret with carrot

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call an ferret with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

Dogs with no legs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter…. he’s not going to come anyway.

Pleased to eat you now

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
A: ‘Pleased to eat you.’!

Vidal Baboon

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (5 votes, average: 3.40 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Where do gorillas like to get their hair cut?
A: Vidal Baboon!

Owls are Clever then chicken

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do you know that owls are cleverer than chickens?
A: Have you ever heard of Kentucky-fried owl!

Catch a Gay Squirrel

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (9 votes, average: 2.89 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How can you catch a gay squirrel?
A: Climb a tree and pretend to be an almond (botanically speaking, almonds are fruits).

Drizzle bears

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (7 votes, average: 2.86 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What are polar bears called when they get caught in the rain?
A: Drizzly bears.

Open toad sandals

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q : What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
A : Open toad sandals!

sloth get fired

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (6 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
A: He would only do the BEAR minimum.

Pay the taxi fare

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (7 votes, average: 3.29 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why didn’t the platypus pay the taxi driver?
A: Because he only had a one-dollar-bill!

lemur learning language

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 4.25 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: When does a Lemur go “roarrrr”?
A: When it is learning a new language!

Dirty double crosser

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 4.25 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again?
A: Because he was a dirty double-crosser!

Rabbits in aircondition

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime?
A: They have hare conditioning!

Alligators does Tricks

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (8 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A guy walks into a bar with a crocodile. The bartender goes, “You can’t bring that animal in here!” But the guy says, “Hey, he does tricks. Watch!” He taps on the crocodile’s head, and the beast opens its mouth. The guy unzips his pants, whips out his vulnerable member, and puts it in the crocodile’s mouth. Then he taps on the crocodile’s head again, and the beast closes its mouth. Everyone in the bar is aghast. The guy gets his penis out, and he goes, “I’ll give 100 bucks to anyone who can do that.” Everyone is really, really quiet. Suddenly, a drunk shouts, “I… I think I can do that. But I don’t think I can leave my mouth open that long!”

Tiger look in the toilet

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 4.25 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
A: He was looking for Pooh