Lit Fun

Hawaa Hawaaiii

Nice way to leave ur nerdy husband

Teri shaadi kisi gadhe se kar dunga

Pehla gadha: Yaar mein jis dhobi ke ghar kaam karta hoo, vo mujhe bahut marta hai.
Doosra gadha: Tu ghar chor kar bhaag kyo nahi jata.

Pehla gadha: Kya batau yaar dhobi ki ek bahut koobsurat ladki hai, vo jab bhi shararat karti hai to dhobi kehta hai ki, teri shaadi kisi gadhe se kar dunga.
Bas yeh soch kar ruka hua hoo.

100 Camels for Wife

US tourists, a man and his wife are traveling in the Middle East. An Arab approaches the husband, saying, “I’ll give you 100 camels for your woman.”

After a long silence, the husband says, “She’s not for sale.”

The indignant wife says, “What took you so long to answer?”

The husband replied, “I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home.”

The indian life is best because…

* There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them.

* You make tea in a saucepan.

* You never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it.

* You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes.

* You have a ‘Singer Brother’ sewing machine at home.

* Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn’t talk to her for ten years.

* You call an older person you’ve never met before “uncle”.

* You hide everything from your parents.

* Your mother does everything for you if you are male.

* You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.

* Your relatives alone could populate a small city.

* Everyone is a family friend.

* Everyone always called you for help on homework.

* You read law, medicine or engineering at university.

* You were thick so you read computer science or business instead.

* You know no one who has read music.

* You went to a university as far away from home as possible.

* You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.

* Your best friend got married at the age of 16.

* You only make telephone calls after 6pm.

* You like the meat well done.

* You eat onions with everything.

* You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.

* You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

* You say you hate Indian films(/songs) but secretly watch(/hear) them with your parents.

* You teach Westerners swearwords in your language.

* You order Indian food in your own language to impress the people you’re with but the waiters don’t understand you.

* You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is an acquaintance within a 250 miles radius.

* You always say “open the light” instead of “turn the light on”.

* You secure your baggage with a rope.

* You’re walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.

* You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage which is just 80 lbs. overweight.

* You go back to your parents’ country and people treat you like a member of the royal family.

* You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school.

* To your American friends, oil is used purely for cooking and not as a grooming aid.

* Your parents have nicknames but only because people they work with just stop when trying to read their names.

* Your parents call all your friends “Beta” whether they are Indian or not.

* If you aren’t married and you turn 25, your parents start wringing their hands and proclaim that it’s too late.

* You are sick and tired of answering questions about “the dot”.

* Your friends could not explain your religion to someone if they tried.

* You could not explain your religion to someone if you tried.

* Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try and demonstrate how well it works whenever they’re not fighting.

* You notice that whenever you go to another Indian’s house, your parents always talk about businesses… especially if they’re for sale.

* The second you pull out of someone’s driveway, your parents start talking about them.

* Your parents worry what other people will think if you’re not going to be a doctor/lawyer/engineer.

* You’re parent’s always say, “It’s cheaper in India”