Otter knows how to drive ?

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Q: An otter and an otter are in a car, who’s driving?
A: Animal Control

Biharu lalu Yadav decide to learn English

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So Lalu Yadav finally decides to learn English. An instructor extremely fluent in English is hired for the job.
The instructor fully confident claims that if he is locked up in a room with Lalu for a week he will surely teach him English. So the orderlies lock Lalu and the instructor in a room
When the room is opened after a week the instructor comes out and says .. “Eee Lalua ke angrezi sikhana to bahute mushkil baat ba”

Platypus shrimp

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A platypus walks into a bar and tells the bartender,”Got any shrimp?” The bartender says ,”No, now go away!.” The platypus walks in to the bar again and says, “Got any shrimp?” The bartender says,”No and if you ask me that one more time I’ll staple your webbed feet into the floor!” The platypus walks into the bar again and says,”Do you have any staples?” And the bartender says,”No.” Then the platypus says,”Got any shrimp?”

I am the first who say you Eid mubarak

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Don’t open it for atleast 5 more day,
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.
.
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.
.
Mujhey pata tha aap say sabar kahan ho ga,
Happy EID Mubarak.
Yaad rakhna I’m the first 2 say u eid Mubarak ! 🙂

Build herself a new House

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Q: Why did the bunny build herself a new house?
A: She was fed up with the hole thing!

She wanted to be first aid kid

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Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
A: Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!

Party propper

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Q :Why does the rabbit bring toilet paper to the party?
A: Because he is a party pooper.

Avagadro have pets?

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Q: Why cant Avogadro have pets.
A: Because he will mole them.

Peeling well..

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Q: Why did the gorilla go to the doctor?
A: Because his banana wasn’t peeling very well!

Lives in an igloo

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Q: What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?
A: An eskimew!

Owl Magician

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Q: What do you call an owl magician?
A: Hoooooo-dini

Chicken families

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Q: What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
A: They go on peck-nics!

Chicken Lays

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Q: What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
A: An eggroll!

Gorilla Float

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Q : How do you make a Gorilla float?
A: Two scoops of ice cream, some club soda and a very tasty Gorilla!

The greatest gift of husband

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
husband-wife-gift
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?”

“My darling,”
he replied, “I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”

Baby Cow

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Q: What did mama cow say to baby cow?
A: It’s pasture bedtime.

Dinosaur shot

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Q: What’s green and hangs from trees?
A: Dinosaur snot.

Censorerd fun

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Q: What do you call the loose skin around the vagina?
A: An otter

platypus crossing the road

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Q: Why did the platypus cross the road?
A: To show the possum that it could be done.

Sara’s top

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Q: What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business?
A: Try Sara’s Tops

Cow Refuses to Give milk

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My cow refuses to give milk, and you know why, of course. She’s been grazing in the field too long,… And now she thinks she’s a horse.

Santa singh starting chicken farm

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Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with.
A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died.

planting-chicken

A month later he was back at the same dealer for another hundred chickens because the second lot had also died and then Santa realised “I think I know where I’m going wrong,” said Santa, “I think I’m planting them too deep.”

Different between OJ simpson

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Q: What’s the difference between OJ Simpson and the Sharks?
A: OJ Simpson had a more credible defence…

Elephant Pack his luggage

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Q :Where does an elephant pack his luggage?
A :In his trunk!

Baby Dinosaur

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Q: What do dinosaurs have that no other animals have?
A: Baby Dinosaurs.

Extensive Vocablury

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Q: What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?
A: a thesaurus

Tastes funny too

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Q: What did one shark say to the other after eating a clown fish?
A: ‘Not only does it look funny, but it tastes funny too.’

Plug its nose

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Q: How do you make a skunk stop smelling?
A: Plug up its nose!

Avagadro is in love

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Q: Why is Avogadro in love with Cindy Crawford?
A: She’s his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).

Chickens foot

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Q: Why did the piece of gum cross the road?
A: Because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot.

Egg cross the road

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Q: How did the egg cross the road?
A: It scrambled across!