M.P

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Officer: What Is Your Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: Tell Me Properly.
Candidate: Mohan Pal Sir

Officer: Your Father’s Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: What Does That Mean?
Candidate: Manmohan Pal Sir

Officer: Your Native Place
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: Is It Madhya Pradesh?
Candidate: No, Munnur Pal Sir

Officer: What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: (angrily) What Is It?
Candidate: Metric Pass

Officer: Why Do You Need A Job?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: And What Does That Mean?
Candidate: Money Problem Sir

Officer: Describe Your Personality
Candidate: M P. Sir

interview-desk

Officer: Explain Yourself Clearly
Candidate: Magnanimous Personality Sir

Officer: This Discussion Is Nowhere, You May Go Now.
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: What Is It Now
Candidate: My Performance. ..?

Officer: M.P!!!
Candidate: What Is That Sir?

Officer: Mental Problems

Stupid Zebra

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Why does the zebra bring toilet paper to the party?
Because he is a party pooper.

Hits the bull’s eye

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Q: Did you hear about the blonde that died with a bow and arrow in her hand?
A: She hit the bull’s eye.

Avagadro is so rich

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Q: Why is Avogadro so rich?
A: He’s a multi-mole-ionare!

Elephant at North pole

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Q :What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
A :Lost!

End of the rainbow

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Q :Where do frogs keep their treasure?
A :In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow!

Grapes under the Owl

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Q: What did the grape say when the Owl stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Bill Clinton invites behari to teach english

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Lalu Prasad was once invited by Bill Clinton to White House for one month to learn English.
One month later, Rabri Devi called White House to check how much English Lalu learnt there.
Bill Clinton picked up the phone.
Rabri(assuming it would be Lalu on the other end) : “Kyun ji, English bole la sikh le la?”
Clinton : “Are bhauji aap, pranam! Lalua to kucho nahi sikh saka, hum Bill Clinton(wa) bol raha hun.”

He can’t hear you

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Q: What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on?
A: Anything you want. He can’t hear you.

Raccoon stand on it

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Q: What did the grape say when the Raccoon stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Donkey kicked his Mother

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Sid was travelling down a country road in his native Yorkshire, England when he saw a crowd of people gathering outside a farmhouse.Prize Donkey Joke

It was a cold November afternoon, so he stopped and asked Farmer Ellis why such a large crowd of men was gathered there.

The farmer replied, ‘Jo’s donkey kicked his mother-in-law and she died.’

‘Well, ‘replied the man, ‘She must have had a lot of friends.’

‘Nope, ‘said Farmer Ellis.’ We all just want to buy his donkey.’

Let out a little wine

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Q :What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
A :Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Llama in rodeos

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Q: Why aren’t llamas in rodeos?
A: `Cause they ain’t ticklish!

ugly little boy

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A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a bb gun in one hand and a platypus in the other. “Now Listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy. “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”

Quarter pounder

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Q: What would they call a quarter pounder with cheese at a hypothetical McDonalds for sharks
A: a quarter flounder with cheese

Mooooove Over

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Q: What did one cow say to the other?
A: Mooooooove over!

Rubbish

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Q :When should you feed milk to a baby elephant?
A :When it’s a baby elephant!

What is the answer ?

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One Night 4 College Students Were Playing Till Late Night And Didn’t Study For The Test Which Was Scheduled For The Next Day.In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

Test Answers

So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they will be ready by that time.

On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.

Q.1. Your Name…………………….( 2 MARKS )
Q.2. Which tyre burst?……………( 98 MARKS )

a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right …!!!

Coutnt them all

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Q: Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds?
A: Yes, 8 Iguanadons and 2 Stegasaurus.

Talk to a cow

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Q: What happens when you talk to a cow?
A: It goes in one ear and out the udder!

He is a meat Eater

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Q: Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers?
A: Because he is a meat eater!

Devour the Factory

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Q: Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory?
A: Because she was a plant eater!

Barn so noisy

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Q: Why is a barn so noisy?
A: All the cows have horns.

Nice Knawing you

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Q: What did they llama say to the blade of grass?
A: Nice knawing you!

Give back this lantern to Genie :D

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Three guys, standed on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.”

it all happened so fast

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A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day. A gang of snails approach him and beat him up for 7 hours. He is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises. Several hours later, he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station. Herman walks into the Sergeant’s office. “What happened to you? the officer asks. “A gang of snails beat me up,” Herman replied. “Can you describe what they looked like?” “I don’t know,” the sloth says. “It all happened so fast.”

smart lemur

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A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a Lemur sitting next to him. “Are you a Lemur?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes.” “What are you doing at the movies?” The Lemur replied, “Well, I liked the book.”

Call a Polar bear

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Q: What do you call a polar bear wearing earmuffs?
A: Call it anything you want – it can’t hear you.

Little of mittens

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Q: Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
A: She had a litter of mittens.