But now they are called….
….
….
..
..
..
.

.
.
.

“IT professionals/ Logistics Professionals”

RAM woman:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

INTERNET woman:
Difficult to access.

SERVER woman:
Always busy when you need her.

CD-ROM woman:
She is always faster and faster.

EMAIL woman:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS woman:
Also called “wife”; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don’t you will lose everything!!

The man thinks a minute. Then he asks the bum, “If I give you a dollar, are you going to use it to buy liquor?“

“No,” says the bum.

The man then asks, “If I give you a dollar, are you going to use it for gambling?”

Again the bum says, “No.”

So the man says to the bum, “Do you mind coming home with me so I can show my wife what happens to someone who doesn’t drink or gamble?”

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?”

“My darling,” he replied, “I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”

2.”You have done a great job” means “More work to be given to you”

3.”We are working on it” means “We have not yet started working on the
same”

4.”Tomorrow first thing in the morning” means “Its not getting done
“At least not tomorrow!”

5.”After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views” means “I have already decided, I will tell you what to do”

6.”There was a slight miscommunication” means “We had actually lied”

7.”Lets call a meeting and discuss” means “I have no time now, will talk later”

8.”We can always do it” means “We actually cannot do the same on time”

9.”We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline” means “The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time.”

10.”We had slight differences of opinion “means “We had actually fought”

11.”Make a list of the work that you do and let’s see how I can help you” means “Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me”

12.”You should have told me earlier” means “Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!”

13.”We need to find out the real reason” means “Well I will tell you where your fault is”

14.”Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected,” means, “Well you know…”

15.”We are a team,” means, “I am not the only one to be blamed”

16.”That’s actually a good question” means “I do not know anything about it”

17.”All the Best” means “You are in trouble”

Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil……..
Just when the Clock struck 11…

And then……

then…..

then……..

Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward, unplugged the life support system and plugged in the vacuum cleaner.

Officer: Tell Me Properly.
Candidate: Mohan Pal Sir

Officer: Your Father’s Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: What Does That Mean?
Candidate: Manmohan Pal Sir

Officer: Your Native Place
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: Is It Madhya Pradesh?
Candidate: No, Munnur Pal Sir

Officer: What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: (angrily) What Is It?
Candidate: Metric Pass

Officer: Why Do You Need A Job?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: And What Does That Mean?
Candidate: Money Problem Sir

Officer: Describe Your Personality
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: Explain Yourself Clearly
Candidate: Magnanimous Personality Sir

Officer: This Discussion Is Nowhere, You May Go Now.
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: What Is It Now
Candidate: My Performance. ..?

Officer: M.P!!!
Candidate: What Is That Sir?

Officer: Mental Problems