Lit FunFunny / hilarious BAR jokes collection |
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I have sipt in this beer, do not drink  (5 votes, average: 4.2 out of 5) Loading ...A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the toilet.
He doesn’t want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, “I have sipt in this beer, do not drink!”. After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, “So did I!” I’m waiting on my house (3 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5) Loading ...There’s this drunk man standing out on the street corner. A cop passes by and says, “What do you think you’re doing?” The drunk says, “I heard the world goes around every 24 hours and I’m waiting on my house. Won’t be long now, there goes my neighbour.” Not so strong tonight, are you Batman? (2 votes, average: 4 out of 5) Loading ...There was a guy in a bar one night that got really drunk. I mean really, really, really drunk. When the bar closed he got up to go home. As he stumbled out the door, he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk. So he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face.
Well the nun was really surprised but before she could do or say anything he punched her again. This time she fell down and he stumbled over to her and kicked her , then he picked her up and threw her into a wall. By this time the nun was pretty weak and couldn’t move very much, so then he stumbled over to her, put his face right next to hers and said, “Not so strong tonight, are you Batman?” Horse serving drinks in bar (1 votes, average: 4 out of 5) Loading ...A guy walks into a bar and there’s a horse serving drinks.
The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.” A Really Bad Day (joke) (22 votes, average: 4.68 out of 5) Loading ...There was a guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying.
The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand to see a man cry.” “No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me.
When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away.” “I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.” |
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