Discoveries of man & woman

Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.
 
Man discovered colors, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, invented make-up .
 
Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip .
 
Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
Woman discovered food, invented diet.
 
Man discovered friendship, invented love.
Woman discovered love, invented marriage .
 
Man discovered trade, invented money.
Woman discovered money, man has never recovered

I like your thinking

A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?” She calls on little Mark.

He replies, “None , they will all fly away with the first gunshot.”
The teacher replies, “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”

Then little Mark says, “I have a question for YOU. ”
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.

Which one is married?”

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, Continue reading I like your thinking…

Runaway husband

wiferunaway husbandhusband

porsche

This Middle aged man was going through his mid-life crisis so he went out and bought him a new bright red Porsche. So he decided to take his new Porsche on a test drive down the interstate one day.

running porsche

He got up to about 85 mph and all of a sudden he saw this highway patrolman with his blue lights and siren blaring coming toward him. He decided he and his new Porsche would outrun the officer. So the man sped up to 95 mph,and then to 105 mph, but the patrolman was still coming.

traffic chasing porsche

The man finally came to his senses and said to himself, “This is crazy, I could go to jail for this,” so he pulled over. The patrolman came to the car and told the man, “It has been a long day and I am tired. If you can give me an excuse no one else has ever given me I will let you go.”

traffic policeman

So the man told the officer, “Last night my wife ran off with a patrolman and when I seen you chasing me I thought you were trying to bring her back.” The officer looked at the man and said, “Have a nice day.”

toon-laughing

Email to wife (wrong recipient)

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

computer-in-hotel

Meanwhile… somewhere, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Reached Safely
Date: 21 st July, 2004

I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and we are allowed to send e-mails to our loved ones. I’ve just reached safely and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was …

Clever Prisoner and the prison guard

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: “Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some flowers in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?”

Prisoner-and-the-flower

The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: “Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money.”

A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife:“Dear Husband, You wouldn’t believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up the entire back garden.”

The prisoner wrote another letter back: “Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the flower.”



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