Lit FunPractical funny office & business jokes |
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17 Management Funda’s for you1.”We will do it” means “You will do it” 2.”You have done a great job” means “More work to be given to you” 3.”We are working on it” means “We have not yet started working on the 4.”Tomorrow first thing in the morning” means “Its not getting done 5.”After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views” means “I have already decided, I will tell you what to do” 6.”There was a slight miscommunication” means “We had actually lied” 8.”We can always do it” means “We actually cannot do the same on time” 9.”We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline” means “The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time.” 10.”We had slight differences of opinion “means “We had actually fought” 11.”Make a list of the work that you do and let’s see how I can help you” means “Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me” 12.”You should have told me earlier” means “Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!” 14.”Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected,” means, “Well you know…” 15.”We are a team,” means, “I am not the only one to be blamed” 16.”That’s actually a good question” means “I do not know anything about it” 17.”All the Best” means “You are in trouble” Disappointed salesman of Coca ColaA disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, “Why weren’t you successful with the Arabs?” The salesman explained, “When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn’t know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters… First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand… totally exhausted and panting. Second, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed.
Then these posters were pasted all over the place” “That should have worked,” said the friend. Always allow the bosses to speak firstA junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says: Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each” So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. “Pfufffff and he was gone. Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted “I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails.”Pfufffff and he was also gone. The boss calmly said, “I want these two idiots back right now .” Pfuffff ……….:p Lesson :- ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSSES TO SPEAK FIRST Long back..Long back, But now they are called….
. “IT professionals/ Logistics Professionals” M.POfficer: What Is Your Name? Officer: Tell Me Properly. Officer: Your Father’s Name? Officer: What Does That Mean? Officer: Your Native Place Officer: Is It Madhya Pradesh? Officer: What Is Your Qualification? Officer: (angrily) What Is It? Officer: Why Do You Need A Job? Officer: And What Does That Mean? Officer: Describe Your Personality
Officer: Explain Yourself Clearly Officer: This Discussion Is Nowhere, You May Go Now. Officer: What Is It Now Officer: Mental Problems |
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