10 Rules For Getting Guaranteed Promotion Without Any Hard Work

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Rules for Guaranteed Promotion

  1. Never walk without a document in your hands
    walk without document
    People with documents in their hand look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they’re heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they’re heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

  2. Use computers to look busy
    Busy in computer
    Any time you use a computer, it looks like “work” to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren’t exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they’re not bad either. When you get caught by your boss – and you *will* get caught — your best defense is to claim you’re teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.

  3. Messy desk
    Messy desk
    Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we’re not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year’s work looks the same as today’s work; it’s volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you’ll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

  4. Voice Mail
    Voice mail
    Never answers your phone if you have voice mail. People don’t call you just because they want to give you something for nothing – they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That’s no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they’re not there – it looks like you’re hardworking and conscientious even though you’re being a devious weasel.

  5.  Looking Impatient and Annoyed
    impatient annoyed
    According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.

  6. Leave the Office Late
    working late
    Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss’ room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.

  7. Creative Sighing for Effect
    stressed effect
    Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

  8. Stacking Strategy
    Book piles
    It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).

  9. Build Vocabulary
    Build vocabulary
    Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don’t have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.

  10. MOST IMPORTANT!!!:
    Boss-the-most-important
    DON’T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!

 

31 Comments

  1. Simply fantastic,
    As this is December and in most of the organizations it is time of appraisal and getting promoted.

    so this will help most of the group member.
    Anyway
    I say thanx to the orginator of the email.
    God bless u n ur family and loved ones

  2. WOW I LOVE IT , IT’S WONDERFUL…….AND USEFUL. THANKS ALOT TO THE WRITER AND YES I WON’T FORWARD IT TO MY BOSS (BY MISTAKE)

  3. i think its nice well m a student now ba i’ll apply it in my practical life coz and i’ll work hard too then people’ll call me Champ!!!!

  4. The tips are really working.But one should use them very smartly and he/she should be a good actor to play this role.Then the Promotion for sure!!!!

  5. You are right sir, but this thing is not applicable in pakistani cultural, in pakistani cultural you have to do one thing. 1, TC of your Boss and the end result you are promoted to your required Job, but never Do this because i don,t like this, thanks

  6. For Promotion Few rules are not applyable every time for example leaving office late time. may b or mostly you have to reach some where and your home is far away from office. secondly putting lot of paper on table may show this that you are lazy and your haven,t finish your work, Looking Impatient and Annoyed may result that you are every time like this and taking tension

  7. some people didn’t hard worker but there get permotion and incresed the salary atleast 30% and some of people are hardworker and not look this kind of thinks there are no permotion just 5% to 10% incresed the salary…..?

  8. This is great, it’s nice to see a new take on topics that would otherwise be serious discussions. Funny, good work.

  9. So it’s all pretending to be busy and workoholic. And i think if we could give some little bit amout of work than promotion is for sure.

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