Lalu Prasad was once invited by Bill Clinton to White House for one month to learn English.
One month later, Rabri Devi called White House to check how much English Lalu learnt there.
Bill Clinton picked up the phone.
Rabri(assuming it would be Lalu on the other end) : “Kyun ji, English bole la sikh le la?”
Clinton : “Are bhauji aap, pranam! Lalua to kucho nahi sikh saka, hum Bill Clinton(wa) bol raha hun.”
The Japanese government offers Rabri Devi a golden deal. “Give us Bihar for a year, We will make it like Japan.”
Rabri Devi replies. “Give us Japan for a month. We will make it like Bihar”.
Subject: A class in Bihar College This is a true incident which happened in a college: A new lecturer (also a Bihari professor) was unable to control the class. The guys were just talking without giving any attention to him. So he wanted to send a guy who was creating most of the problem out. But he doesn’t know how to put it in English. He went near the guy. Shouted “follow me” .The guy followed him till he went out of the class. Now the lecturer turned back and again shouted “Don’t follow me” and went inside the class……..
Inside the Class:
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves -take the bigger half.
Shhh…Quiet, boys…the principal just passed away in the corridor.
You, meet me behind the class.
Both of you three, get out of the class.
Close the doors of the windows please .. I have winter in my nose today…
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver…..
Take 5 cm wire of any length….
So Lalu Yadav finally decides to learn English. An instructor extremely fluent in English is hired for the job.
The instructor fully confident claims that if he is locked up in a room with Lalu for a week he will surely teach him English. So the orderlies lock Lalu and the instructor in a room
When the room is opened after a week the instructor comes out and says .. “Eee Lalua ke angrezi sikhana to bahute mushkil baat ba”
A Bihari goes to a movie hall and asks for two tickets,Do tho
ticket dena, the person at the window tells him that there is a house
full, so this Bihari says koi baat nahin do house full de do.
Both Lalu Yadav and Rabri Devi are asked to take an English Proficiency Test. First Lalu is taken inside the interview room. The interviewer hangs the letter “M” in front of him and asks what does it mean. After giving a long enough thought Lalu Yadav answers.. “Ee M hai.. M mani Moder.. Moder maani hammar mai”(This is M. M means mother. Mother means my mother) .When Lalu comes out of the interview Rabri asks him about his experience. Lalu Yadav described the process as it happened.
However, in Rabri’s interview the interviewer hangs “W” instead of “M”.Rabri is totally clueless about what it means.. About an hour passes and suddenly it strikes to her and she shouts.. “Arey ee to Lalua ke mai ko ulta taang delkau re. Jaldi seedha kar na to muat jayi.”
A Bihari after coming back from a three hour long class says “Saala pura body headache maar raha hai “
A Bihari teacher had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did not see them. So the next day at school…
” Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre”
Bihar government announced Rs 50,000 to every family with 5 children in home.
Pandey had 4 so he tells his wife – Meri girlfriend se mera 1 baccha hai, usey le aata hu. 5 ho jayenge aur Govt 50,000 de degi hume..
Pandey baccha leke ghar aaya aur usne wife se puchha – Baccha aa gaya hai. Hamare 4 kahan hain ?
Wife boli – Jis Jis ke thay woh le gaye.. !!
A bhaiyyaji applied for an engineering position at an office in Uttar Pradesh. Reddy from Chennai applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager.
Upon completion of the test, the results showed that both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to the bhaiyyaji and said, “Thank you for your interest, but we’ve decided to give the job to Reddy.”
Bhaiyyaji: “And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct. This being Uttar Pradesh I should get the job!”
Manager: “We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the one question that you got wrong.”
Bhaiyyaji: “And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?”
Manager: “Simple, for the question that both of you got wrong, Reddy put down ‘I don’t know’ as the answer. And you wrote ‘Neither do I’!”
There was this Bihari who was travelling with two tickets, so when
the T.T.E asked for the ticket, this fellow gave both the tickets, and
so the T.T.E asked him the reason of buying two tickes , this fellow
answered well what will happen if in case I lose one of them, so the
T.T.E said what if you lose both of them, so this guy said then why
do I have a monthly pass.