Q: How did the shark avoid serving in the army?
A: He was a conscientious ob-shark-ter

Q: What is King Arthur?s favorite fish?
A: A swordfish.

Q: What’s worse than one shark coming to dinner?
A: Two sharks coming to dinner

Q :What did the shark say to the whale?
A :What are u blubbering about?

Q: Why did the shark cross the road?
A: To get to the other tide!

Q: Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
A: To get to the other TIDE

Q: Who is the shark communitys favorite 1950s film actor
A: Shark Hudson

Q: What do cat sharks cough up?
A: Human balls.

Q: Why did the shark joke book writer’s wife leave him?
A: She wanted to start a relationship with that blond-haired meathead who “wrote” 200 Gross Jokes

Q: What does a shark eat for dinner?
A: Whatever it wants!

Q: What do you call a solitary shark
A: A “lone” (loan) shark

Q: What was the shark;s favorite James Joyce novel
A: FINnegan’s wake

Q: What is a sharks favorite sci-fi show
A: Shark Trek

Q: What was the teenage sharks favorite internet site
A: MyShark

Q: Why didnt the lumberjack shark believe in God
A: He chose log-shark (logic)

Q: What did the shark plead in the murder case?
A: Not gill-ty!

Q: Who was the shark’s favorite 20th century art figure?
A: Marcel DuChomp

Q: What did the deaf, dumb and blind shark excel at?
A: Finball

Q: What was the college student sharks favorite internet site?
A: Finsbook

Q: What do British sharks like to eat?
A: Fish and kids!

Q: What kind of shark is always quoting Shakespeare?
A: A bard shark

Q: What’s a shark favorite substance?
A: Reefer

Q: why did the mommy shark and daddy shark get divorced
A: they no longer loved each other

Q: Who was the shark’s favorite Norwegian painter?
A: Edvard Munch!

Q: Who was the sharks second favorite character on NBC’s “The Office”
A: Dwight K. Shark

Q: Who is the shark communitys favorite 1950s film actress
A: Dorsal Day

Q: What do yuppie sharks like to drink
A: Jaw-va

Q: What did the teenage sharks say when they were having sex?
A: “we’re going to need a bigger condom!”

Q: What’s worse than being bitten by a shark?
A: Being bitten by a vampire shark

Q: how did the crazy shark become normal again
A: electro shark therapy

Q: why did the street sharks get arrested
A: dorsal profiling

Q: Why did the shark commit suicide
A: He was tired of feeling like he was swimming in circles

Q: Why aren’t there any shark puppeteers?
A: They have no hands!

Q: What is a shark’s favorite smell?
A: Human blood.

Q: Why do sharks make terrible lawyers?
A: They’re too nice!

Q: What do you get if you cross a shark with a Rottweiler?
A: An abomination unto God Himself

Q: What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
A: An M.C. Hammerhead.

Q: What do sharks call human children?
A: Appetizers.

Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: an animal that talks your head off.

Q: What is the shark worlds most popular comic strip
A: Seanuts

Q: Who was the first shark elected president of the united states?
A: James K. Shark

Q: What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
A: Edward Scissorfins

Q: What was the sharks favorite Orson Welles movie
A: Citizen Kane-i-kokala

Q: Why don’t sharks like fast food?
A: Because they can’t catch it!

Q: What would they call a quarter pounder with cheese at a hypothetical McDonalds for sharks
A: a quarter flounder with cheese

Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy!

Q: What kind of photographs do shark crime scene investigators use?
A: Placoid photos

Q: Why did the shark throw his clock out the window?
A: He wanted to see time fly!

Q: What is a sharks favorite Dustin Hoffman Film
A: Midnight Caudal

Q: What was the marine biologist’s kid’s excuse for not having his homework?
A: “My shark ate it!”

Q: What was the shark’s favorite Pixar movie?
A: Eating Nemo

Q: What should you do if you see a shark?
A: Swim far, far away!

Q: Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
A: Santa Jaws!

Q: What’s black and white and red all over?
A: A mulatto scuba diver who has just been mauled to death by a shark

Q: Why don’t sharks have tools?
A: They don’t have opposable thumbs

Q: What did one shark say to try to comfort a friend who had just gotten out of a relationship
A: “its ok there are plenty of other birds in the sky”

Q: Whats green and gross and lives under the sea?
A: Shark boogers!

Q: What did one shark say to the other after eating a clown fish?
A: ‘Not only does it look funny, but it tastes funny too.’

Q: What magical spell causes the victim to bleed profusely?
A: Shark-temsempra

Q: What brand of caramel-coated popcorn and peanuts do sharks prefer?
A: Cracker Sharks

Q: What was the sharks favorites song
A: Love Shark

Q: What do you call the stuff between a shark’s teeth?
A: Slow Swimmers.

Q: What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich
A: Peanut butter and jellyfish!

Q: What is the keenest kind of shark?
A: A swellshark!

Q: What’s better than a shark in a blender?
A: Two sharks in a blender

Q: What kind of shark is always gambling?
A: A CARDSHARK

Q: What was the shark jazz musician’s favorite illegal substance?
A: Reefer!

Q: What kind of sharks make the best pog players?
A: Slammerheads!

Q: What is a sharks favorite bible story
A: Noah’s SHARK

Q: Who was the sharks favorite character on NBC’s “The Office”
A: Michael Shark

Q: WHat doe a shark like to watch on tv
A: Anything but Flipper!

Q: What’s the difference between OJ Simpson and the Sharks?
A: OJ Simpson had a more credible defence…

Q: Did the shark who was raised by fish receive any education?
A: Yes, he was home-schooled (in a school of fish)

Q: what did the street shark say when something radical happened?
A: JAWESOME

Q: Why are sharks so patriotic?
A: They are marine fish

Q: Why doesn’t anybody like the stand-up comedy of Margaret Shark? A: She bites!

Q: Why are shark comedians so funny?
A: Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!

Q: Why do sharks live in the ocean and not the sky
A: The sky is Jet territory

Q: Where are sharks from?
A: Finland.

Q: Who was the politcally saavy shark’s favorite Newsweek reporter?
A: Fareed Sharkaria

Q: How do you make a shark laugh?
A: Tell a whale of a tale.

Q: Where can you buy sharks on Wall Street?
A: At the shark (stock) market, of course!

Q: What was Shark Elvis’s biggest hit?
A: You Ain’t Nothin’ But A Houndshark