A man and his pet porcupine walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my porcupine.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the porcupine falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a porcupine.”
Q: What did the grape say when the Porcupine stood on it? A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Q: What do you call an Porcupine with a carrot in each ear? A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!
Q: What’s the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
A: The pricks are on the outside on a porcupine!
A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a porcupine sitting next to him. “Are you a porcupine?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes.” “What are you doing at the movies?” The porcupine replied, “Well, I liked the book.”
Q: What do you get if you cross a sheep with a porcupine? A: An animal that knits its own sweaters
“What’s the difference between the United States porcupine and the African porcupine,” the society matron asked the zookeeper. “The principal difference is the United States species has a longer prick.” This, as you might assume, distressed the matron who stormed immediately to the zoo manager’s office. The zoo manager said, “Ma’am, I apologize for my staff’s unfortunate choice of terms. What the keeper should have said is the United States species has a longer ‘quill’. In fact, their pricks are just about the same size.”
Q: Why did the Porcupine cross the road? A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!