Q: When do vampires like horse racing?
A: When it’s neck and neck

Q: How does a winning jockey communicate with his horse?
A: He lays his cards on the stable.

Q: What do you get if you cross a horse with a bee?
A: Neigh buzz

Q: What did one horse say to the other horse?
A: The pace is familiar but I can’t remember the mane.

Q: Where do you put 2 horses that just broken up?
A: In the pasture

Q: Why are most horses in shape?
A: Because they are on a stable diet.

Q: Where do horses shop?
A: Old Neigh-vy!

Q: What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race?
A: Sherbet

There was this young filly whose owners decided to have her “fixed.” The stallion next door was heartbroken, as he’d always wanted to mate with her. He pined for her constantly. Moral of the Story? “A pony spayed is a pony yearned.”

Q: What do you call a promiscious pony?
A: A Little Whorse

Q: What do race horses eat?
A: Fast Food.

Q: What is a young Colts favorite sport?
A: Stable Tennis.

Q: What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?
A: A tale of WHOA!

Q: What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A: A neigh-bor!

Q: Why did the horse eat with its mouth open?
A: Because it had bad stable manners!

Q: Why did the horse cross the road?
A: Because somebody shouted hay!

Q: How do you get a horse drunk?
A: Drink him under the stable.

Q: What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds?
A: A zebra!

Q: What did the mare tell her filly after dinner?
A: Clear the Stable.

Q: What’s the quickest way to mail a little horse?
A: Use the Pony Express.

Q: What did the waiter say to the horse?
A: I can’t take your order. That’s not my stable.

Q: What kind of horses go out after dusk?
A: Nightmares!

Q: Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude?
A: She always said Neigh

Q: What do you call 144 horses in a box?
A: Gross!

Q: What type of a computer does a horse like to eat?
A: A Macintosh

Q: How does a horse from Kentucky greet another horse?
A: With Southern Horspitality!

Q: What do you ask a sad horse?
A: “Why the long face?

Q: How do you make a small fortune in the horse industry?
A: Start with a large fortune.

Q: What kind of bread does a horse eat?
A: Thoroughbred

Q: What do you call a scary female horse?
A: A nightmare!

Q: How does a cowboy get a stallion to do odd jobs around the farm?
A: Pay him under the stable.

Q: Where do horses go when they’re sick?
A: The horsepital!

Q: Why was the horse naked?
A: Because the jockey fell off.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde water-polo player?
A: His horse drowned

Q: How does a horse from Kentucky greet another horse?
A: With Southern Horspitality!

Q: A man from the olden days rode into town on his horse he spended six days and left on Friday how is this possible?
A: Friday was the name of his horse.

Q: What kind of horse likes to be ridden at night?
A: A nightmare!

Q: How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday?
A: His horse’s name was Friday!