He had little Ape-tude

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Q :Why did the Gorilla fail English?
A : He had little Ape-titude!

Gorilla are cheetahs

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Q: Why don’t the gorillas in the jungle play poker any more?
A: There are just too many Cheetahs.

Peeling well..

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Q: Why did the gorilla go to the doctor?
A: Because his banana wasn’t peeling very well!

Gorilla riding down

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Q :What’s black, brown and white, black, brown and white, brown and white, etc.?
A: A Gorilla riding down a snowbank!

The Law Of The Jungle

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Q :What does a Gorilla attorney study?
A :The Law of the jungle!

Gorilla with Machine

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Q: What’s black and dangerous and lives in a tree?
A: A gorilla with a machine gun.

Sas-gorilla

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Q: What’s a monkey’s favourite drink?
A: A sas-gorilla.

Gorilla playing quiddtich

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Q: What do you call a gorilla playing quidditch?
A: A hairy potter!!

Worst then a bite

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Q :Why couldn’t the Gorilla pitcher make it in the major leagues?
A :His balk was worse than his bite!

Big Fingers

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Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers!

They have Big fingers

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Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: They have big fingers.

600 Pound Gorilla

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Q:What do you feed a 600 pound Gorilla?
A:Anything it wants!

Whale of tale

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Q :How do you make a Gorilla laugh?
A :Tell it a whale of a tale!

The Bear Hug

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Q :Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?
A :The bear hug!

Sitting your school desk

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Q: What should you do if you find a gorilla sitting at your school desk?
A: Sit somewhere else!

George Washington

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Q :What did George Washington have to do with Gorillas?
A : As little as possible, dummy!

Its Shadow

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Q: What is as big as a gorilla but weighs nothing?
A: Its shadow!

The Naked Ape!

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Q :Which book makes prudish Gorillas blush?
A : The Naked Ape!

An ape-ricot Sour

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Q :Which drink makes a Gorilla feel tipsy?
A :An ape-ricot sour!

Kong-vict

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Q:What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner?
A: A Kong-vict!

Vidal Baboon

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Q: Where do gorillas like to get their hair cut?
A: Vidal Baboon!

Beast of the Show

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Q : How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest?
A : She was the beast of the show!

Gorilla most wanted

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Q :Why did the actor fire his Gorilla agent?
A :The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite!

Gorilla Float

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Q : How do you make a Gorilla float?
A: Two scoops of ice cream, some club soda and a very tasty Gorilla!

Gorilla Favourite President

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Q :Who is the Gorillas’ favourite President of recent years?
A : Hairy Truman!

Animal Crackers

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Q :When did the Gorillas start to picket the cookie factory?
A: The day they started to manufacture animal crackers!

Gorilla welfare

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Q :Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?
A : Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

Ape Suzettes

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Q:What do they feed a gorilla when he goes to Paris?
A:Ape Suzettes!

Girl wedds with invisible man

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Q :Why did the girl Gorilla, engaged to the invisible man, call off the wedding?
A : Because in the last analysis she just couldn’t see it!

Dog Warm Its Master

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Q :How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?
A: He barked g-r-r-r-illa!

Lvy League School

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Q :What gives a gorilla good taste?
A: Four years in an Ivy League school!

Monkey cook his toast

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Q: Where does a monkey cook his toast ?
A: Under a gorilla!

Stool Pigeon

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Q :How does a Gorilla become another animal?
A : When a Mafia don hires a ‘big Gorilla’ to be his bodyguard and the big Ape goes to the cops and turns into a stool pigeon!

Bab-boom-orang!

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Q: What is a ape’s favourite toy?
A: A Bab-boom-orang!

Fall – Adelphia

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Q :Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed by a Gorilla jumping off a tall building?
A: Fall-adelphia!

They have Gorilla War

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Q: What do monkeys do when they’re mad at each other?
A: They have a Gorilla war!

Uncle simian wants you

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Q :How did a Gorilla come to be with Washington at Valley Forge?
A : He had seen a sign saying, ‘Uncle Simian Wants You!’

It was Dead

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Q: Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree?
A: It was dead.

Raised in a Zoo

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Q: Why are gorillas so noisy?
A: They were raised in a zoo!

The Apes Of Wrath

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Q : Which author do the Gorillas love most?
A: Joh Steinbeck – who wrote ‘The Apes of Wrath!’

Go bananas

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Q: What do gorillas do when they go mad?
A: Go bananas!

Ball Point Gorilla

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Q :What’s black, hairy, and writes under water?
A : A ball-point gorilla!

Choclate chimp

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Q: What is a gorilla’s favorite cookie?
A: Chocolate chimp!

Gorilla Sunday

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Q :How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae?
A: Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!

Gorilla in the soup

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Q: Why do waiters like Gorillas better than flies?
A: Did you ever hear a customer complain ‘Waiter, there’s a Gorilla in my soup!’

Gorila griller

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Q. Why did the ape run around with a piece of raw meat on his head?
A. He thought he was a gorilla. (griller)

Miss Ape-ril!

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Q:How did Gertie Gorilla make the ‘Playboy’ Calendar?
A:She was ‘Miss Ape-ril!’

Cross parrot with Gorilla

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Q : What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?
A : Nobody is sure, but if it opened its mouth to speak, you’d listen!

Banarama..

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Q: What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group?
A: Bananarama!