Q: How do you make a milkshake?
A: Give a cow a pogo stick.

Q: Where do Russians get their milk?
A: From Mos-cows

Q: What do you call a cow with an assistant?
A: Moooooving up in the world.

Q: Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain?
A: He’s got no beef.

Q: How can you tell which cow is the best dancer?
A: Wait til one busts a moooooove

Q: What are the spots on black and white cows?
A: Holstains

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A: Milk and Quackers!

Q: How do you stop a bull from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!

Q: What do you call a cow that can cut the grass?
A: Mulan.

Q: What are a cows favorite subjects in school?
A: Moosic, psycowolgy, cowculus

Q: What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
A: Bullogna

Q: What happened to the lost cattle?
A: Nobody’s herd.

Q: Where does a cow stop to drink?
A: The milky way!

Q: What do you call an arab next to a cow?
A: Milk Sheikh!

Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?
A: Beef Jerky

Q: What did one dairy cow say to another?
A: Got milk?

Q: Why don’t cows have any money?
A: Because farmers milk them dry

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs at all?
A: Ground beef

Q: What does a cow put on his french toast?
A: Moooolasses.

Q: What did one cow say to the other?
A: Mooooooove over!

Q: What do call a cow that has just had a calf?
A: Decalfenated

Q: What do cows get when they do all their chores?
A: Mooney.

Q: Why does a milking stool have only three legs?
A: Because the cow has the udder

Q :What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A :A lawn moo-er.

Q: What did the farmer say to the cow?
A: Produce some milk

Q: What happens when a cow laughs too hard?
A: It Cowlapses!

Q: What does an invisible man drink?
A: Evaporated milk!

A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. “What a cute bunch of cows!” she remarked. “Not a bunch, herd”, her friend replied. “Heard of what?” “Herd of cows.” “Of course I’ve heard of cows.” “No, a cow herd.” “What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!”

Q: What do you call animal drinking with Justin Timberlake?
A: TEA COW!

Q: What happens when you talk to a cow?
A: It goes in one ear and out the udder!

Q: Why are cows so soft?
A: Because they are made out of leather.

Q: Why is a barn so noisy?
A: All the cows have horns.

Q: When is a farmer like a magician?
A: When he turns his cow into pasture.

Q: What do you call a sad cow?
A: Mooooved to tears.

Q: What do you call a cow with full armor?
A: Sir loin

Q: What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A: A cow walking backwards!

Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
A: Laughing stock

Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.

Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: An udder failure.

Q: What do you get when you give pasta to a cow?
A: Beefaroni.

Q: What do you call a grumpy cow?
A: Moo-dy

Q: Did you hear that Chuck Norris is a matador?
A: He takes the bull by the horns.

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the cow. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

Q: How does a farmer count a herd of cows?
A: With a Cowculator

Q: What’s a cow’s favorite moosical note?
A: Beef-flat

Q: What do cows get when they are sick?
A: Hay Fever

Q: Did you hear about the cow that wasn’t interested in bulls?
A: She was an Ho-Moo-Sexual.

Q: Where do cows like to ride on trains?
A: In the cow-boose.

Q: What band is a cow favorite?
A: Moody Blues

Q: What do you find a gallery of cows?
A: The mooseum.

Q: What Is A Cows Favorite Type Of Math?
A: Moo-tiplication

Q: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
A: Milk of Amnesia

Q: What did the cow say when a person played the piano?
A: That’s good moooooosic.

Q: What do you call a cow with no front legs?
A: Lean Beef

Q :Why do cows have long faces?
A :Because you would have a long face too, if your tits were gettin pulled twice a day

Q: Why is the barn so noisy?
A: Because all of the cows have horns.

Q: What do you call an evil cow?
A: De-mooooon.

Q: Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull?
A: On the bull the horns are in the front and the asshole is in the back.

Q: Where do cows get together?
A: The meet market.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde that died with a bow and arrow in her hand?
A: She hit the bull’s eye.

Q: How to you know that cows will be in heaven?
A: It’s a place of udder delight.

Q: What did the cow say to the turtle?
A: Get a moove on

Q: What do you call a cow you can’t see?
A: Camooflauged.

Q: What was the bull doing in the pasture with his eyes closed?
A: Bull-dozin’

Q: What do you get when you cross and smurf and a cow?
A: Blue cheese!

Q: Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs?
A: Because the cow has the utter.

Q: What do you call I half a cow?
A: a calf.

Q: Have you ever heard the term “When Pigs Fly!”……
A: Well what if it were “When Cows Fly!”

Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: A MILK DUD!

Q : Where do cows go when they want a night out?
A: To the moo-vies!

Q: Why did cow jump over the moon?
A: Because he wanted to skydive

Q: How does a cow get to the mooooon?
A: It flies through udder space!

Two cows were out in a field eating grass. One cow turns to the other cow and says, “Moooooo!” “Hey”, the other cow replies…. “I was just about to say the same thing!”

Q: What do cows wear in Hawaii?
A: Moo- moos

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a dairy cow?
A: Peanut butter.

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer

Q: What newspaper do cows read?
A: The Daily Moos.

Q: What did mama cow say to baby cow?
A: It’s pasture bedtime.

My cow refuses to give milk, and you know why, of course. She’s been grazing in the field too long,… And now she thinks she’s a horse.

Q: What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence
A: Udder-Catastrophe

A man staggers into the emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, and a five iron wrapped around his neck. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. “Well, it was like this” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around I noticed that one of the cows had something white in it’s rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt. Thats when I made my mistake.” “What did you do?”, asked the doctor. “Well, I lifted the tail, pointed, and yelled to my wife, “Hey! This looks like yours!”

Q: Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain?
A: He’s got no beef.

Q: What did the bored cow say when she got up in the morning?
A: “It’s just an udder day”

Q: Where do cows go for lunch?
A: The calf-eteria.

Q: What animals do you bring to bed?
A: Your calves.

Q: What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A: A car only has one horn.

Q: What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
A: Beef strokin’ off.

Q :Why does the cow bring toilet paper to the party?
A : Because he is a party pooper.

Q: Where do you find the most cows?
A: Moo-York

Q: What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?
A: Ground Beef

Q: Which job is a cow most suited for?
A: Baker. Because they’re making cow pies regularly.

Q: Where do cows get their weapons?
A: Ar-moooo-ries.

Q: What was the first animal in space?
A: The cow that jumped over the moon!

Q: “Where did the cows go last night”?
A: “To the mooon”

Q: Do you know why the cow jumped over the moon?
A: The farmer had cold hands.

Q: Did you hear about the snobby cow?
A: She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!

Q: What do cows read in the mornings?
A: The moospaper.

Q: What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A: a lawn moo-er.

Q: What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull?
A: A steak-out!

Q: What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A: A steak out.

Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk.

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a lawnmower?
A: A lawnmooer.

Q: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
A: An animal that’s in a baaaaaaaad moooooood.