Q: What happened to the lost cattle?
A: Nobody’s herd.

Q: How do you stop a bull from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!

Q: What do you call an arab next to a cow?
A: Milk Sheikh!

Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?
A: Beef Jerky

Q: What did one dairy cow say to another?
A: Got milk?

Q: What does a cow put on his french toast?
A: Moooolasses.

Q: What did one cow say to the other?
A: Mooooooove over!

Q: Why don’t cows have any money?
A: Because farmers milk them dry

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs at all?
A: Ground beef

Q: What do cows get when they do all their chores?
A: Mooney.

Q: What do call a cow that has just had a calf?
A: Decalfenated

Q: Why does a milking stool have only three legs?
A: Because the cow has the udder

Q: What happens when a cow laughs too hard?
A: It Cowlapses!

Q :What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A :A lawn moo-er.

Q: What does an invisible man drink?
A: Evaporated milk!

A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. “What a cute bunch of cows!” she remarked. “Not a bunch, herd”, her friend replied. “Heard of what?” “Herd of cows.” “Of course I’ve heard of cows.” “No, a cow herd.” “What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!”

Q: What do you call animal drinking with Justin Timberlake?
A: TEA COW!

Q: What did the farmer say to the cow?
A: Produce some milk

Q: Why are cows so soft?
A: Because they are made out of leather.

Q: What happens when you talk to a cow?
A: It goes in one ear and out the udder!

Q: When is a farmer like a magician?
A: When he turns his cow into pasture.

Q: What do you call a cow with full armor?
A: Sir loin

Q: Why is a barn so noisy?
A: All the cows have horns.

Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.

Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
A: Laughing stock

Q: What do you call a sad cow?
A: Mooooved to tears.

Q: What do you get when you give pasta to a cow?
A: Beefaroni.

Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: An udder failure.

Q: What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A: A cow walking backwards!

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the cow. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

Q: Did you hear that Chuck Norris is a matador?
A: He takes the bull by the horns.

Q: What band is a cow favorite?
A: Moody Blues

Q: What do you find a gallery of cows?
A: The mooseum.

Q: Where do cows like to ride on trains?
A: In the cow-boose.

Q: Did you hear about the cow that wasn’t interested in bulls?
A: She was an Ho-Moo-Sexual.

Q: What do you call a grumpy cow?
A: Moo-dy

Q: What do cows get when they are sick?
A: Hay Fever

Q: How does a farmer count a herd of cows?
A: With a Cowculator

Q: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
A: Milk of Amnesia

Q: What did the cow say when a person played the piano?
A: That’s good moooooosic.

Q: What do you call a cow with no front legs?
A: Lean Beef

Q: What’s a cow’s favorite moosical note?
A: Beef-flat

Q :Why do cows have long faces?
A :Because you would have a long face too, if your tits were gettin pulled twice a day

Q: Why is the barn so noisy?
A: Because all of the cows have horns.

Q: What do you call an evil cow?
A: De-mooooon.

Q: What Is A Cows Favorite Type Of Math?
A: Moo-tiplication

Q: Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull?
A: On the bull the horns are in the front and the asshole is in the back.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde that died with a bow and arrow in her hand?
A: She hit the bull’s eye.

Q: Where do cows get together?
A: The meet market.

Q: What did the cow say to the turtle?
A: Get a moove on

Q: How to you know that cows will be in heaven?
A: It’s a place of udder delight.

Q: What was the bull doing in the pasture with his eyes closed?
A: Bull-dozin’

Q: What do you get when you cross and smurf and a cow?
A: Blue cheese!

Q: What do you call I half a cow?
A: a calf.

Q: Have you ever heard the term “When Pigs Fly!”……
A: Well what if it were “When Cows Fly!”

Q: What do you call a cow you can’t see?
A: Camooflauged.

Q: Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs?
A: Because the cow has the utter.

Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: A MILK DUD!

Q: Why did cow jump over the moon?
A: Because he wanted to skydive

Q: How does a cow get to the mooooon?
A: It flies through udder space!

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer

Q : Where do cows go when they want a night out?
A: To the moo-vies!

Two cows were out in a field eating grass. One cow turns to the other cow and says, “Moooooo!” “Hey”, the other cow replies…. “I was just about to say the same thing!”

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a dairy cow?
A: Peanut butter.

Q: What do cows wear in Hawaii?
A: Moo- moos

A man staggers into the emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, and a five iron wrapped around his neck. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. “Well, it was like this” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around I noticed that one of the cows had something white in it’s rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt. Thats when I made my mistake.” “What did you do?”, asked the doctor. “Well, I lifted the tail, pointed, and yelled to my wife, “Hey! This looks like yours!”

Q: What animals do you bring to bed?
A: Your calves.

Q: What did the bored cow say when she got up in the morning?
A: “It’s just an udder day”

Q: Where do cows go for lunch?
A: The calf-eteria.

Q: What did mama cow say to baby cow?
A: It’s pasture bedtime.

My cow refuses to give milk, and you know why, of course. She’s been grazing in the field too long,… And now she thinks she’s a horse.

Q: Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain?
A: He’s got no beef.

Q: What newspaper do cows read?
A: The Daily Moos.

Q: What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence
A: Udder-Catastrophe

Q: What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A: A car only has one horn.

Q: What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
A: Beef strokin’ off.

Q: Where do you find the most cows?
A: Moo-York

Q :Why does the cow bring toilet paper to the party?
A : Because he is a party pooper.

Q: What was the first animal in space?
A: The cow that jumped over the moon!

Q: What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?
A: Ground Beef

Q: Where do cows get their weapons?
A: Ar-moooo-ries.

Q: Which job is a cow most suited for?
A: Baker. Because they’re making cow pies regularly.

Q: Do you know why the cow jumped over the moon?
A: The farmer had cold hands.

Q: “Where did the cows go last night”?
A: “To the mooon”

Q: What do cows read in the mornings?
A: The moospaper.

Q: Did you hear about the snobby cow?
A: She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!

Q: What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull?
A: A steak-out!

Q: What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A: a lawn moo-er.

Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk.

Q: What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A: A steak out.

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a lawnmower?
A: A lawnmooer.

Q: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
A: An animal that’s in a baaaaaaaad moooooood.

Q: How do you make a milkshake?
A: Give a cow a pogo stick.

Q: Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain?
A: He’s got no beef.

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A: Milk and Quackers!

Q: How can you tell which cow is the best dancer?
A: Wait til one busts a moooooove

Q: What are the spots on black and white cows?
A: Holstains

Q: Where do Russians get their milk?
A: From Mos-cows

Q: What do you call a cow with an assistant?
A: Moooooving up in the world.

Q: What do you call a cow that can cut the grass?
A: Mulan.

Q: What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
A: Bullogna

Q: What are a cows favorite subjects in school?
A: Moosic, psycowolgy, cowculus

Q: Where does a cow stop to drink?
A: The milky way!