Croakus

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Q: What’s a toads favorite flower?
A: A croakus!

Pay the taxi fare

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Q: Why didn’t the platypus pay the taxi driver?
A: Because he only had a one-dollar-bill!

Climb a tree

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Q: How do you catch a squirrel interested in ornithology?
A: Climb a tree and act like a nuthatch (Sitta carolinensis).

Potty-pus

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Q: What do you get when you cross a toilet and a platypus?
A: A potty-pus

Chicken Crosses the road

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Elephant with spare parts

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Q :What has 3 tails, 4 trunks and 6 feet?
A :An elephant with spare parts!

Ten pounds difference

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Q :Whats the difference between your mom and an African Elephant?
A :Ten pounds.

Difference between Cat and Frog

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Q :What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A :A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night!

Bunny Rabit

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Q :What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A :A bunny ribbit.

Policeman Give the sheep

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Q: Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
A: He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

Knock Knock !!

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Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Goat! Goat who?
Goat to believe in magic.

Cow can cut the grass

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Q: What do you call a cow that can cut the grass?
A: Mulan.

Blubber Gum

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Q: What do whales like to chew?
A: Blubber gum!

Beef Jerky

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Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?
A: Beef Jerky

Drizzle bears

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Q: What are polar bears called when they get caught in the rain?
A: Drizzly bears.

Deviled Eggs

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Q: What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter?
A: Deviled eggs!

Pony sleigh

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Q : What does Rudolph want for Christmas?
A : A pony sleigh station!

Calvin feed hobbes

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Q: What does Calvin feed Hobbes?
A: Nothing he’s already stuffed.

Hare -raising tail

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Q: Why did the rabbit like the adventure?
A: It was a “hare-raising tail”

Santa Jaws

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Q: Who gives alligators presents on Christmas?
A: Santa Jaws!

Farmer become school teacher

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Q: Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?
A: So he could grade his eggs

Holstain

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Q: What are the spots on black and white cows?
A: Holstains

Polar bear go to the movies

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Q: Why shouldn’t you take polar bears to the zoo?
A: Because they’d rather go to the movies.

He had little Ape-tude

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Q :Why did the Gorilla fail English?
A : He had little Ape-titude!

Love shark

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Q: What was the sharks favorites song
A: Love Shark

One Wags a tail

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Q: How is a dog and a marine biologist alike?
A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.

Light at night

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Q: What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A: A tiger moth!

Sore throat

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Q: What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A: A Diplodocus with a sore throat!

Dinosaur go extinct

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Q: Why did the dinosaurs go extinct?
A: Because they wouldn’t take a bath!

platypus crossing the road

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Q: Why did the platypus cross the road?
A: To show the possum that it could be done.

Meals on Wheels

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Q: What did the Polar Bear say when it saw a seal on a skateboard?
A: “Meals on Wheels!”

How many arms Alligators have

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Q: How many arms has a alligator got?
A: Depends how far he has got with eating his dinner!

Gorilla are cheetahs

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Q: Why don’t the gorillas in the jungle play poker any more?
A: There are just too many Cheetahs.

Frogs favourite place

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Q :What is a frogs favorite place to eat?
A :At ihop!

In the Dark

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Q: Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ?
A: In the dark!

Polar Bear with Harp Seal

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Q: What do you get if you cross a polar bear and a harp seal?
A: A bear faced lyre!

To get other

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Q :Why did the whale cross the road?
A :To get to the other tide!

Card shark

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Q: What kind of shark is always gambling?
A: A CARDSHARK

Clucl o the irish

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
A: The Cluck o’the Irish!

Shark cross the road

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Q: Why did the shark cross the road?
A: To get to the other tide!

Sheep go when they die

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Q: Where do sheep go when they die?
A: To the baa baa que.

poor skunk

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay, the skunk didn’t have a scent, the deer didn’t have a buck, so they put the meal on the duck’s bill.

horn-aments

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Q :What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
A : “Horn”-aments!

What rubbish

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Q: What’s worse than one shark coming to dinner?
A: Two sharks coming to dinner

Spanish Goats

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Q :What do you call a Spanish goat with no back legs?
A :Gracias.

Peeling well..

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Q: Why did the gorilla go to the doctor?
A: Because his banana wasn’t peeling very well!

Cross a cow and a duck

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A: Milk and Quackers!

Penguins In Revolving Door

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Q: What’s black and white and goes round and around?
A: A Penguin in a revolving door.

Dino sore

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Q: What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor?
A: Dino-sore!

Favourite Kitchen tool

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Q: what is a cats favorite kitchen tool?
A: The “whisker”.

A Polygon

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Q: What figure describes a lost parrot?
A: A polygon!

Giraffe winning a horse race

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Q: What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A: A longshot.

Milk shake

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Q: What do you call an arab next to a cow?
A: Milk Sheikh!

A swell shark

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Q: What is the keenest kind of shark?
A: A swellshark!

Grab a Bite

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Q: What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
A: Do you want to grab a bite?

Preferred Frogs car

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Q :Whats the preferred car of frogs?
A :The Beetle.

Anything you like..

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Q. What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears?
A. Anything you like, he won’t hear you!

Out of the way

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Q: What do you get when a dinosaur blows it’s nose?
A: OUT of the way!!

Dino-saw

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Q: What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use?
A: A dino-saw !

Marsh-mole ows

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Q: What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
A: Marsh-mole-ows!

Haha Long Arm of the Law

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Q: What do you get if you cross a giraffes with a police-man ?
A: Long-arm of the Law !

Somethin about Owl

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Q: Did you hear the one about the owl?
A: It was a hoot.

Koalifications

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Q: Why isn’t the the koala a real bear?
A: He doesn’t have the right koalifications.

man with cliff

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Q: What do you call a man with seagull on his head?
A: Cliff

Long heaird hippo

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Q: What do you call a long haired hippo?
A: A hippy

Ate a duck

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Q: What do you call a cat who just ate a duck?
A: a duck-filled platy puss.

Tweeting on test

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Q: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

Law of gravity

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Q: Why did the bird get a ticket?
A: It broke the law of gravity!

Elephant weighs nothing

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Q :What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
A :Its shadow!

Nobody’s herd

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Q: What happened to the lost cattle?
A: Nobody’s herd.

Mommy sharks and daddy

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Q: why did the mommy shark and daddy shark get divorced
A: they no longer loved each other

Vampire shark

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Q: What’s worse than being bitten by a shark?
A: Being bitten by a vampire shark

Gorilla riding down

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Q :What’s black, brown and white, black, brown and white, brown and white, etc.?
A: A Gorilla riding down a snowbank!

Flying reindeer

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Q : how can Santa’s sleigh possibly fly through the air?
A : You would too if you were pulled by flying reindeer!

Jockey communicate

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Q: How does a winning jockey communicate with his horse?
A: He lays his cards on the stable.

Cross cat with Owl

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cat and an owl?
A: Meowls.

Horse and a Chicken

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A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, “I think I can stand over the hole!” So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, “Grab for my penis and pull yourself up.” And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
Moral of the Story: If you’re hung like a horse, you don’t need a BMW to pick up chicks.

Tyrannosaurus Flex

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Q: What was the most flexible dinosaur?
A: Tyrannosaurus Flex.

Bullogna

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Q: What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
A: Bullogna

policeman caught nasty boy

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A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a bb gun in one hand and a ferret in the other. “Now Listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy. “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”

Rubbish

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Q: What makes more noise than a dinosaur ?
A: Two dinosaurs !

Pollunomial Parrots

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Q: What do you call a parrot that doesn’t eat?
A: A polynomeal (polynomial)

Teacher

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Once a teacher was teaching the children about stripes animal. Teacher:Aisha stand up and tell me any two names of striped animals. Aisha:Zebra. Teacher:Very good now tell the other name! Aisha:Another zebra.

I liked the books

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A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a ferret sitting next to him. “Are you a ferret?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes.” “What are you doing at the movies?” The ferret replied, “Well, I liked the book.

Non typical white tail

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Q: What is the defination of a non-typical Whitetail?
A: One that stays off the Highway!

Let out a little wine

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Q :What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
A :Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Scotish toads play

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Q: What do Scottish toads play?
A: Hop-scotch!

Frogs having Fun

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A cat told a frog “time flies when you are having fun”
The frog corrected her “Actually it’s time is fun when you’re having flies!”

Bear Your Heart

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Q: How do you apologize to a koala?
A: BEAR your heart and soul.

Triceratops with a kangaroo

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Q: What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ?
A: A Tricera-hops!

Slow Poke

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Q: What do you call a turtle with a hard on?
A: A slow poke.

Goat married with Angelina Jolie

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Q :What do you call a goat that was married to Angelina Jolie?
A :Billy Bob Thorton.

Donkey Auction

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Q: What do you get cross an optimetrist convention and a donkey auction?
A: Two eyegl-asses for the price of one.

Intelligent Grape

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Q: What did the grape say when the ferret stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Dino-sewer

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Q: Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ?
A: A dino-sewer !

Cross Parrot With shark

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Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: an animal that talks your head off.

smell icopter

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Q:What do you call a flying skunk?
A: A smell-icopter.

He’s Rabbit fan!

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Q: Does the Easter Bunny like baseball?
A:Oh, yes. He’s a rabbit fan!

Potato with elephant

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Q :What do you get when you cross a potato with an elephant?
A :Mashed potatoes!

Baboom

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Q: What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A: Baboom!

Crocodile in vest

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Q: What do you call an crocodile in a vest?
A: An investigator.

Hourgl-ass

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Q: What do you call a donkey that keeps time?
A: Hourgl-ass

Tadpole

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Q :What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A :A tadpole!

hitchicking toad

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Q: What do you say to a hitchhiking toad?
A: Hop in!

Shepherd looking for a sheep

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A shepherd was looking for a lost sheep, after a couple hours he found it stuck in some briar bushes and covered with mud. He rescued the sheep. After several slanderous remarks about the muddy dumb sheep, the sheep blurted out, “What are you griping about, I almost drowned in the pond?” Shocked at hearing the Sheep speak, the Shepherd asked the sheep why he was in the pond in the first place, “Don’t you know sheep can’t swim?”, We were not swimming, we were wallowing in mud and I stepped into, a deep hole?” “Who is we?” the Shepherd asked. “Me and the pig?” The sheep replied. “Why on earth would you wallow in mud?” asked the Shepherd. “Well the pig said it would make me cooler, I was getting hot.” The shepherd asked the sheep where the pig was. The sheep replied. “He went back to the barn.” So the Shepherd put the sheep on his shoulders and began his trip back to the barn. He did not own a pig, and he planned to take the pig to task for the mud wallowing incident. The next day the shepherd?s rich neighbor a farmer came by and inquired if the shepherd had seen his pig. Soon the Shepherd began telling the rich farmer about the sheep and pig story, and demanded compensation for the incident caused by the farmer’s pig.” The farmer expressed his doubts to the Shepherd, whereupon the Sheep blurted out “He’s right, it was your pig that did it.” Just then the rich farmer realized that this was a talking sheep. He thought to himself, “I can make millions with a talking sheep. He stopped the discussion and asked if the shepherd would take 500 dollars for the sheep. The shepherd replied that he would consider the sale on an as is basis, no guarantees. The farmer then bought the sheep and the trade was done. The shepherd turned and as he walked away the farmer heard him say “Well that’s one less diseased and dying sheep I have to worry about, Your pig said he was full of shit anyway.”

Rabbit hood

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Q: What’s the name of the rabbit who stole from the rich and gave to the
A: Rabbit Hood.

Letter to her friend

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Q: How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
A: In a HEN-velope!

Elephants afraid of cheetahs

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Q :Why don’t elephants like playing cards in the jungle?
A :Because of all the cheetahs!

Curiosity killed the cat

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Q: Did you hear about the cat who wanted a dog to teach her how to bark?
A: Curiousity killed the cat.

Cristmias trees

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What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? “Horn”-aments!

Squash

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Q :What is an elephants favorite sport?
A :Squash

Raccon learning new language

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Q: When does a Raccoon go “moo”?
A: When it is learning a new language!

Bear like Bald man

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Q: Why do polar bears like bald men?
A: Because they have a great, white, bear (uh…bare) place!

Grasshover

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Q:What do you call a grasshopper with no legs?
A:A grasshover!

Two Hunters

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Two hunters decide to go moose hunting in Canada. They hire an airplane to drop them off in a remote region. The pilot drops them off and tells them, “I`ll be back in one week. No more than one moose – got it?” One week passes, and the pilot returns. The hunters have two moose. The pilot says, “Hey, I told you guys no more than one moose.” One of the hunters replies, “Look the pilot told us the same thing last year and we gave him a `big` tip to take both moose out.” The three of them argue for several minutes more. The pilot gives up and agrees to take both moose. Well, they load up the moose and fire up the plane. The plane shudders and strains trying to take off. It finally gets the wheels off the ground 5 feet, 10 feet. Whoops! It runs out of runway and smashes into a tree. The two hunters, dazed and confused make there way out of the wreckage. One hunter looks at the other and says, “Where the heck are we?” The other looks around and replies, “About 200 yards further than we got last year!”

Afraid of getting toad

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Q :Why didn’t the frog park on the side of the road?
A :He was afraid of getting toad!

Skunk with bear

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Q: What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
A: Winnie the PU!

Ground beef

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs at all?
A: Ground beef

Unique up on it

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Q: How do you catch a unique bird?
A: Unique up on it.

Nice Knawing you

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Q: What did they llama say to the blade of grass?
A: Nice knawing you!

Billy Idol

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Q :What do you call an unemployed goat?
A :Billy Idol.

Morse Toad

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Q :What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
A :Morse toad!

No Result Found

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Q: What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a rose?
A: I’m not sure – but I wouldn’t try smelling it!

Dinosaur with high heals

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Q: What do you call a dinosaur with high heels?
A: My-feet-are-saurus

Chicken crossed the road

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?
A: He was a dirty double crosser!

Neigh buzz

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Q: What do you get if you cross a horse with a bee?
A: Neigh buzz

Like A coconut

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Q: How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
A: Climb a tree and act like a coconut.

Cow stop to drink

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Q: Where does a cow stop to drink?
A: The milky way!

Man kills a deer

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A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue. Well, he said, ‘It’s what mummy calls me sometimes’. The little girl screams to her brother ‘Don’t eat it, it’s an asshole..

Fast food is so fast

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Q: Why don’t polar bears like fast food?
A: Because they can’t catch it!

Twelve foot tooth Brush

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Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedgehog?
A: A twelve-foot toothbrush

March Of Penguins

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Q: What did Morgan Freeman say when Penguins told him they liked March of the Penguins?
A: Why the hell was I narrating it if Penguins can talk

Stable diet

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Q: Why are most horses in shape?
A: Because they are on a stable diet.

Tiger eats the comedian

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Q: What happened when the tiger ate the comedian ?
A: He felt funny !

Mooney

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Q: What do cows get when they do all their chores?
A: Mooney.

Leatherback Sec turtle

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Q: What is a Leatherback Sea Turtles favorite sandwich?
A: Peanut butter and jellyfish.

Decalfenated

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Q: What do call a cow that has just had a calf?
A: Decalfenated

Three feet of my cock

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Q:If you had a donkey and I had a chicken and if your donkey ate my chicken what will you have?
A:Three feet of my cock up your ass.

Nuts Won’t Fit

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Q: Why don’t squirrels wear skinny jeans?
A: Because their nuts won’t fit

Stupid One

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Q: When does a giraffe have 8 legs?
A: When there are two of them!

Teddy bear race

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Q: How do you start a teddy bear race?
A: Ready, teddy, go!

Crocodile comedians

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Q: Why are crocodiles comedians so funny?
A: Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!

Build herself a new House

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Q: Why did the bunny build herself a new house?
A: She was fed up with the hole thing!

Barney in an elevator

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Q: What’s green and purple and goes up and down?
A: Barney in an elevator.

What Does He do?

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One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ”How much is the yellow one?” The assistant says, ” 2000.” The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it’s so expensive. The assistant explains, ”This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.” ”What about the green one?” the man asks. The assistant says, ”He costs 5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.” ”What about the red one?” the man asks. The assistant says, ”That one’s 10,000.” The man says, ”What does HE do?” The assistant says, ”I don’t know, but the other two call him boss.

A Guy walks in a bar with his pet Monkey

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A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking it the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?” The guy says, “No, what?” “He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!”, says the bartender. “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the patron. “He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I’ll pay for the cue ball and stuff.” He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he’s in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now?”, he asks. “Now what?”, responds the patron. “Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!” says the barkeeper. “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the patron. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!”

Fleece Navidad!!

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Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: “Fleece Navidad!”

Egg crisize

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Q: How do chickens get strong?
A: Egg-cersize.

Brown and white eat hamster

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Q :What is white and brown and eats hamster food?
A: My hamster!

Blonde Pet zebra

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Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot!

Santa’s Reindeer

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Q : Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?
A : “Rude”-olph!

Bite off your head

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Q: What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?
A: A tiger moth!

Otter with carrot

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Q: What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

Caught peepin

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Q: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: He got caught peeping on a test.

A Brr-grrr

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Q: What do polar bears like to eat in the cold?
A: A “brrr”-“grrr”!

Got milk?

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Q: What did one dairy cow say to another?
A: Got milk?

Shell Block

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Q: Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
A: To the shell-block.

Millionare rabbit

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Q: Did you hear about the rich rabbit?
A: He was a millionhare!

The Law Of The Jungle

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Q :What does a Gorilla attorney study?
A :The Law of the jungle!

Tiger with a snowman

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Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
A: Frostbite!

Whale of a tale

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Q :How do you make a fish laugh?
A :Tell a whale of a tale.

Raccoon with carrot

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Q: What do you call an Raccoon with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

Call a Frozen chart

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Q: What do you call a frozen dog?
A: A pupsicle.

Spelling bee

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Q: What’s more amazing than a talking hippo?
A: A spelling bee!

T-Rex eat Hamburgers

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Q: Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers?
A: Because he is a meat eater!

Cristmas is coming

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Q : How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
A : He looks at his calen-“deer”!

She was a candy

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Q: Did you hear about the donkey that was afraid to speak up for herself?
A: She was a candy-ass.

Tyrannosaurus want to sit

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Q: Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay?
A: Anywhere he wants to.

Pride of Giraffe

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Q: Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
A: It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

Say to tha puppy

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Q: What did the skeleton say to the puppy?
A: bonappetite

Sheep Dog with rose

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Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!

Mooolasses

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Q: What does a cow put on his french toast?
A: Moooolasses.

Gatorade

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Q: What do alligators drink before a race?
A: Gator-Ade.

Cross owl with oester

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Q: What do you get when you cross an owl and an oyster?
A: Pearls of Wisdom

Monkey’s Uncle

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Q: Did you hear about the man who can jump from tree to tree?
A: He was a monkey’s uncle.

Saturday morning

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It was Saturday morning and John, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Mary, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage. John asks her, “What are you up to?” Mary smiles, “I’m going hunting with you!” John, though he has many reservations, reluctantly decides to take her along. They arrive at the hunting site. John sets his wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her: “If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I’ll come running back as soon as I hear the shot.” John walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Mary couldn’t bag an elephant — much less a deer. But not 10 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots. Quickly, John starts running back. As John gets closer to her stand, he hears Mary screaming, “Get away from my deer!” Confused, John races faster towards his screaming wife. And again he hears her yell, “Get away from my deer!” followed by another volley of gunfire. Now within sight of where he had left his wife, John is surprised to see a cowboy, with his hands high in the air. The cowboy, obviously distraught, says, “Okay, lady, okay! You can have your deer! Just let me get my saddle off it!”‘

Baaa-stile day

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Q: What do you call sheep taking over France?
A: Baaaa-stile Day.

Dinosaur slept all day

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Q: Which dinosaur slept all day ?
A: The dino-snore!

Milking stool have

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Q: Why does a milking stool have only three legs?
A: Because the cow has the udder

Frogs are happy

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Q :Why are frogs so happy?
A :They eat watever bugs them!

Smoking Cigarette

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Q. How do you know when your cat’s done cleaning herself?
A. She’s smoking a cigarette.

Mooooove Over

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Q: What did one cow say to the other?
A: Mooooooove over!

Different between OJ simpson

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Q: What’s the difference between OJ Simpson and the Sharks?
A: OJ Simpson had a more credible defence…

Otter knows how to drive ?

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Q: An otter and an otter are in a car, who’s driving?
A: Animal Control

Squirrel For the Holiday

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Q: How do you catch a squirrel for the holidays?
A: Climb a tree and act like nutmeg.

Chickens foot

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Q: Why did the piece of gum cross the road?
A: Because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot.

Old neigh-vy

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Q: Where do horses shop?
A: Old Neigh-vy!

grape under porcupine

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Q: What did the grape say when the Porcupine stood on it? A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Headmaster and Buflings

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Q: What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?
A: Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth!

Rabbit with no hair

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Q: What do you get when you find a rabbit with no hair?
A: A hairless hare!

Crocodile with GPS

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Q: What do you call a crocodile with GPS?
A: A Navi-gator.

Owl caught in the act

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Q: What do you call an owl caught in the act?
A: Spotted!

Hippo with carrot

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Q: What do you call a hippo with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

Rabbit using computer

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Q: What do rabbits put in their computers?
A: Hoppy disks!

Its whale Of a Tale

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Q: Have you heard of Flight of the Penguins (sequel to March)?
A: Its a whale of a tale

Call group of chicken

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Q: What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A: A Hensemble.

Gorilla with Machine

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Q: What’s black and dangerous and lives in a tree?
A: A gorilla with a machine gun.

one night challenge for man

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According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should’ve known… ONLY women would be able to drag a fat jolly old man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Sas-gorilla

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Q: What’s a monkey’s favourite drink?
A: A sas-gorilla.

Nasty Wife

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A guy brings a raccoon home , tells his wife it’s a pet. She asks , “Where are you going to keep it?” He repies , “In the bedroom.” “But what about that horrible nasty smell?’ , she asks. “I got used to you , I’m sure he will too!

terrible lawyers

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Q: Why do sharks make terrible lawyers?
A: They’re too nice!

Women call a frog

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A :What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Q :Lilly.

Donkey that can go

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Q: What do you call a Donkey that can go 0-40 in 3.4 seconds?
A: Fibergl-ass

Shell-arious ones

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Q: What kind of jokes do sea turtles tell?
A: Shell-arious ones!

Horse say to other horse

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Q: What did one horse say to the other horse?
A: The pace is familiar but I can’t remember the mane.

In tha pasture

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Q: Where do you put 2 horses that just broken up?
A: In the pasture

Tiger sing at Christmas

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Q: What do tigers sing at Christmas?
A: Jungle bells!jungle bells!

Cuckoo-cluck

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Q: What do you call a crazy chicken?
A: A cuckoo cluck!

Ferret favourite song

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Q: What is a ferret’s favorite song?
A: Dook, dook, dook, dook of Earl…

Horse that lose a race

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Q: What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race?
A: Sherbet

Farmers milk them dry

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Q: Why don’t cows have any money?
A: Because farmers milk them dry

Embarrassed Elephant

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Q :What’s grey but turns red?
A :An embarrassed elephant!

He’s a Rain -deer

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Q : Why is Prancer always wet?
A : Because he’s a “rain”-deer!

Long Turtle

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Q: What do you call a turtle with 6 feet?
A: A 6-foot turtle.

Shark terk

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Q: What is a sharks favorite sci-fi show
A: Shark Trek

Coutnt them all

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Q: Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds?
A: Yes, 8 Iguanadons and 2 Stegasaurus.

Pickup your truck

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A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of badgers. He pulls the guy over and says… “You can’t drive around with badgers in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately.” The guy says “OK”… and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of badgers, and they’re all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands… “I thought I told you to take these badgers to the zoo yesterday?” The guy replies… “I did . . . today I’m taking them to the beach!”

moron platy

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Q: Why did the Platypus cross the road?
A: Because he wanted to see his flat mate.

Gorilla playing quiddtich

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Q: What do you call a gorilla playing quidditch?
A: A hairy potter!!

Prancer always wet

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Q : Why is Prancer always wet?
A : Because he’s a “rain”-deer!

Gazalles

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What’s red and white and gives presents to gazelles? Santelope!

Frogs listens music

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Q :What kind of music do frogs listen to?
A :Hip Hop

Tiger Eat Lion

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Q: Would you rather have a tiger eat your or a lion?
A: I would rather have a tiger eat a lion.

Call a Dinasaur

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Q: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A: Try and try and try and try-ceratops

It just let out a wine

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Q: What did the grape say when the otter stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

T-rex cross road

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Q: Why did the t-rex cross the road?
A: Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet

Worst then a bite

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Q :Why couldn’t the Gorilla pitcher make it in the major leagues?
A :His balk was worse than his bite!

Why do you have Breast on your back

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The elephant asked the camel: “Why do you have your breasts on your back?” The camel clearly irritated by the outrage of modesty replies: “What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face.”

Cross gator and Poison Frog

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Q :What do you get when you cross a gator and a poison frog?
A :A croakadile.

Stegosaurus

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Q: What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels?
A: A Stegosaurus on roller skates!

Alchoholic skunk

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A man and his pet skunk walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my skunk.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the skunk falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a skunk.”

Blind Jockey in a race

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blind jockey

A jockey is about to enter an race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘ALLLLEEE OOOP!’ really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do that, you’ll be fine.”

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer’s ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers “Aleeee ooop” in the horse’s ear. The same thing happens – the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, “It’s no good, I’ll have to do it,” and yells, “ALLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.

The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, “Nothing is wrong with me – it’s this bloody horse. What is he – deaf or something?”

The trainer replies, “Deaf? Deaf?! He’s not deaf. He’s blind!” 😀 😀

Human balls

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Q: What do cat sharks cough up?
A: Human balls.

Caramel coated popcorn

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Q: What brand of caramel-coated popcorn and peanuts do sharks prefer?
A: Cracker Sharks

Stinky winkey donkey

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Q: What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye while breaking wind ? A:
A stinkey winkey wonkey donkey

Rabbit wearing Glasses

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Q: How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A: Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses!

Girls of my Ex-boyfriend

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Q :Girl: One of my ex-boyfriends sounds like an owl. Boy:
A :Who?

Wear Sunglasses

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Q : Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses to the Christmas party?
A : Because he didn’t want to be recognised!

splatter pus

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Q: What do you get when you cross a Platypus and a Steamroller?
A: Splatterpus

not good for health

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Q : Why is a reindeer like a gossip?
A : Because they are both tail bearers

Baby Giraffes

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Q: What do giraffes have that no one else has?
A: Baby giraffes!

it all happened so fast

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A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day. A gang of snails approach him and beat him up for 7 hours. He is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises. Several hours later, he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station. Herman walks into the Sergeant’s office. “What happened to you? the officer asks. “A gang of snails beat me up,” Herman replied. “Can you describe what they looked like?” “I don’t know,” the sloth says. “It all happened so fast.”

Box of quackers

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Q: What do you call a crate of ducks?
A: A box of quackers

Cross a gator

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Q: What do you get when you cross a gator and a poison frog?
A: A croak-odile.

Shark make the best

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Q: What kind of sharks make the best pog players?
A: Slammerheads!

Play cards in Jungle

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Q: Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
A: There are too many cheetahs there!

Little wine

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Q: What did the grape say when the Lemur stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Toad die

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Q :How did the toad die?
A :He simply croaked!

moltiplication

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Q: What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
A: Moletiplication

Avagadro is so rich

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Q: Why is Avogadro so rich?
A: He’s a multi-mole-ionare!

They beat eggs

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Q: Why don’t chickens like people?
A: They beat eggs!

Dear calls hunters

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Q: What do deers call hunters?
A: Doe foes.

To prove his Possum

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Q: Why did the Koala cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Find somewhere else to sleep

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Q: What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ?
A: Find somewhere else to sleep!

Hello-hello

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Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur?
A: Hello, hello!

A battered puss

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Q: What do you call a deep fried platypus?
A: A battered-pus

World Weakest Animal

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Q :Whats the world weakest animal?
A :A toad, he croaks if you even touch him!

Unique Rabbit

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Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on it!

prove my possum

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Q: Why did the badger cross the road? A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

what are you doing?

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A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a grasshopper sitting next to him. “Are you a grasshopper?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes.” “What are you doing at the movies?” The grasshopper replied, “Well, I liked the book.

Drinking crazy

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A man and his pet seagull walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my seagull.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the seagull falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a seagull.”

Bird that talks

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Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A: A bird that talks your ear off!

Bugs Bunny !

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Q: What do you get when you cross an insect and a rabbit?
A: Bugs Bunny!

Lawn moo-er

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Q :What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A :A lawn moo-er.

Hamster upset with his job

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Q :Why was the Hamster upset with his job?
A: It didn’t pay enough salary (celery).

Raccoon stand on it

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Q: What did the grape say when the Raccoon stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Dino-Store

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Q: Where did Velociraptor buy things?
A: At a dino-store!

Tiger on a Pogo Stick

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Q: Whats striped and bouncy?
A: A tiger on a pogo stick!

show your skunks

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Q: How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?
A: A phew!

Anywhere he wants too

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Q: Where does a tiger sleep?
A: Anywhere he wants to!

Blubbering Gum

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Q :What did the shark say to the whale?
A: What are you blubbering about?

Big Fingers

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Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers!

Healthy Rabbit

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Q: What’s the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd rabbit?
A: One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!

Cow laughs to hard

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Q: What happens when a cow laughs too hard?
A: It Cowlapses!

Mooooved to tear

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Q: What do you call a sad cow?
A: Mooooved to tears.

Evaporated milk

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Q: What does an invisible man drink?
A: Evaporated milk!

Feet are Saurus

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Q: What do you call a dinosaur with high heels?
A: My-feet-are-saurus

blind reindeer

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Q : What do you call a blind reindeer?
A : No eye deer (no idea)

Sir???

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Q :What do you call a hamster that can pick up an elephant ?
A: Sir!

They have Big fingers

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Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: They have big fingers.

600 Pound Gorilla

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Q:What do you feed a 600 pound Gorilla?
A:Anything it wants!

I’m Saying Grace

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An Arctic explorer came face to face with a polar bear. Afraid of being eaten, he fell to his knees and started praying. When the polar bear knelt down beside him and started praying too, the man shouted, “It’s a miracle!” The polar bear opened one eye and said “Don’t talk while I’m saying grace.”

Dusky husky

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Q: What do you call a black Eskimo dog?
A: A dusky husky!

Do sitting on Rabbit

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Q: What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit?
A: A chili dog on a bun!

Ugly boy

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A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a bb gun in one hand and a grasshopper in the other. “Now Listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy. “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”

Bite the bullet

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Q: Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
A: He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.

Talking lemur…

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Q: What’s more amazing than a talking Lemur?
A: A spelling bee!

Owl invite his friend

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Q: Why did the Owl invite his friends over?
A: He didn’t want to be Owl by himself.

Little Whrose

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Q: What do you call a promiscious pony?
A: A Little Whorse

Do you like whales

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Q :Do you like whales?
A : Cause we can go hump back at my place.

Shark Hudson

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Q: Who is the shark communitys favorite 1950s film actor
A: Shark Hudson

Goat With Beer

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Q :What do you call a goat with a beard?
A :Goatee!

Alchoholic badger

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A man and his pet badger walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my badger.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the badger falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a badger.”

Bluebird

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Q: What do you call a sad bird?
A: A bluebird!

Little of mittens

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Q: Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
A: She had a litter of mittens.

Owl City

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Q: Where do you go for a good time?
A: Owl City.

Bullshit

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Q: What family does Maiasaur belong to?
A: I don’t think any families in our neighborhood have one!

Two rabbits on rollerblades

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Q: What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels?
A: Two rabbits on Rollerblades!

Bones in the ground

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Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can’t bury them in trees!

Whale of tale

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Q :How do you make a Gorilla laugh?
A :Tell it a whale of a tale!

At the Spawn shop

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Q :Where do you get frogs eggs?
A :At the spawn shop!

Chicks to talk

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Q: Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
A: Because talk is cheep!

Goat at sea

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Q :What do you call a goat at sea?
A :Billy Ocean.

Monkey go to drink

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Q: Where do monkeys go to drink?
A: The monkey bars!

A little otter

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Q: What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter.
A: A little (h)otter

The Bear Hug

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Q :Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?
A :The bear hug!

Mickey Moose

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Q: What do you get when you cross a mouse and a deer?
A: Mickey Moose

Owl owling

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Q: Why did the owl, owl?
A: Because the woodpecker would peck ‘er!

End of th window

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Q: Where do toads keep their treasure?
A: In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow!

Stork stand on one leg

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Q: Why does a stork stand on one leg?
A: Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

Little boy on Donkey

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donkey_dead

An old man and a little boy on a donkey were on their way into town. They passed by a group of people who said, “What a shame for that old man to be walking while that perfectly able-bodied boy rides that donkey.” So the boy got off the donkey and the old man got on. They later passed by some more people who said,” Why should that little boy have to walk when they have a donkey to ride on. So the little boy got on the donkey and they both rode it. After a while, they passed some more people. They overheard the people say, “That poor donkey must be wore out from carrying both of them.” So the little boy and old man picked up the donkey and started to carry it. They were carrying the donkey across a bridge. The weight of the donkey became just too unbearable and slipped from their grasp and went over the side of the bridge into the water and drowned. The moral of the story is: If You Try To Please Everyone You’ll Eventually Lose Your ASS!

Reindeer wera fur coats

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Q : Why do reindeer wear fur coats?
A : Because they would look silly in plastic macs!

Tiger lily

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Q: What is the fiercest flower in the garden?
A: A tiger lily!

Out oh the way

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Q: What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes?
A: Out of the way!

Do-you-think-he-saw-us

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Q: What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A: Doyouthinkhesawus

Prefer a cat dialogue

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Q: Why don’t cats like online shopping?
A: They prefer a cat-alogue.

Cross polar bear with seal

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Q: What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal?
A: A polar bear.

Four Skin Divers

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Q: How do you circumsize a whale?
A: You send down four-skin divers.

Camel most useful Animal

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This general in the Foreign Legion is transferred to a new fort, and half way through his tour of the place, he spots a mangey old camel tied up at the back of the fort. He turns to the corporal: “What in God’s name do you use that for?”, he asks. The corporal replies “Well, sir, there are a lot of men, and now and then, they become, shall we say, horny….” “Ah, yes, yes, I understand. Fine, move on” About 6 weeks later, the general wakes up feeling so horny, he’d get up on the crack of dawn and calls the corporal. “Bring me to the camel” says he. The corporal does, and once at the camel, he makes it stand up, and places a stool behind it. With that, the general stands on the stool, takes out Mr Floppy and inserts it into the camel. He then proceeds to give it the ride of its life. Having finished, he puts away his equipment, and looks proudly at the corporal. “Well”, he says, “is that the way you men do it around here?” “Er…no, sir”, replies the corporal, “We normally just use the camel to ride to the nearest brothel.”

Take me to your litter

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Q: What did the alien say to the cat?
A: Take me to your litter.

Platypus in a mood

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The platypus went into a bar. He bought two sodas. “That’ll be $2.50, please” said the bartender. “Just put it on my bill” said the platypus.

End of the rainbow

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Q :Where do frogs keep their treasure?
A :In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow!

Wears big and grey masks

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Q :What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
A :The elephantom of the opera!

Sitting your school desk

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Q: What should you do if you find a gorilla sitting at your school desk?
A: Sit somewhere else!

Long distance

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Q: What’s the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ?
A: Long distance!

California ferret

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Q: How many California ferret owners does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Thousands. First they have to write to their representatives, educate others, obtain support, etc. then have a bill proposal pass through various committees before the government will allow the bulb to be changed.

Frog in bathtub

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Q : What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A : A rubbit!

Farmer like a maigcian

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Q: When is a farmer like a magician?
A: When he turns his cow into pasture.

Policeman caught Nasty Boy

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A policeman caught a nasty little Australian boy with a BB gun in one hand and a koala in the other. “Now Listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy. “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”

Terrified postman

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Q: What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?
A: A terrified postman!

Talkin Owl

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Q: What’s more amazing than a talking Owl?
A: A spelling bee!

sir?

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Q. What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot?
A. Sir.

Elk a seltzer

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Q : What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy?
A : “Elk”-a-seltzer!

Tea Cow

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Q: What do you call animal drinking with Justin Timberlake?
A: TEA COW!

Porcupine with carrot

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Q: What do you call an Porcupine with a carrot in each ear? A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

By e-mole

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Q: How does Avogadro write to his friends?
A: By e-mole!

lazy workers :D

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Q : How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb?
A : Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down!

Lamb play outside

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Q: Why couldn’t the little lamb play outside?
A: It was being baaaaaaaad!

Dino mite

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Q: What do you get when you put a bomb and a dinosaur together?
A: Dino-mite.

Tired to fired

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Q: Did you hear about the man who tried to feed a bear an Apple?
A: It didn’t bear fruit.

Dog’s wag their tails

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Q: Why do dogs wag their tails?
A: “Because no one else will do it for them!”

Otter is much better than pizza

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Q: What’s the difference between a pizza and an otter?
A: A pizza doesn’t scream when you put it in the oven.

Tell a runaway horse

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Q: What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?
A: A tale of WHOA!

Moody Cow

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Q: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
A: An animal that’s in a baaaaaaaad moooooood.

Giraffe snots

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Q: Whats green and hangs from trees?
A: Giraffe snot.

Nuts and Bolts

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Q: Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
A: To get down to the nuts and bolts.

Star warts

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Q: What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
A: Star Warts!

Peanut better type

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Q: What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ?
A: A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!

sloth stand on grapes

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Q: What did the grape say when the sloth stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Otter get into honest buisness

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Q: How does an otter get into an honest business?
A: Usually through the skylight.

Elephant creeping out

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Q :What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night?
A :Russell!

Cat in a station wagon

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Q: What do you call a cat in a station wagon?
A: A car-pet

Purr-verted

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Q: What do you call a cat that can’t stop licking itself?
A: Purrr-verted.

Pleased to eat you now

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Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
A: ‘Pleased to eat you.’!

Platypus learning new language

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Q: When does a platypus go “moo”?
A: When it is learning a new language!

Leap year

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Q :What is a frogs favorite time?
A :Leap Year!

Fast food

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Q: What does a cat call a hummingbird?
A: Fast food.

Rubs its legs

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Q:What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together?
A: Chimney Cricket!

Spastic Goat

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Q :What do you call a spastic goat?
A :Billy the kid.

elephant

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Q: What do you call a platypus that can pick up an elephant ?
A: Sir!

Barn so noisy

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Q: Why is a barn so noisy?
A: All the cows have horns.

Owls serves hot Wings

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Q: What do you call an Owl that serves hot wings?
A: Hooters.

Stable tennis

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Q: What is a young Colts favorite sport?
A: Stable Tennis.

Shark favourite doustin

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Q: What is a sharks favorite Dustin Hoffman Film
A: Midnight Caudal

Q: What did one chicken say to

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Q: What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
A: “You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”

Avagadro love to mash

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Q: Avogadro loved to watch MASH. Which character did he like most?
A: Father Molecahy

are you mad?

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Q: Where do seagulls invest their money?
A: In the stork market!

Chicken wear Pants

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Q: Why don’t chickens wear pants?
A: There peckers on their face.

chiropractor

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Q: Why did Avogadro stop going to a chiropractor on October 24th?
A: He was only tense to the 23rd!

Cross a shark

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Q: What do you get if you cross a shark with a Rottweiler?
A: An abomination unto God Himself

Prince and her paw parr

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Q: What is a cats favorite book?
A: The prince and the paw-purr.

Pony spayed

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There was this young filly whose owners decided to have her “fixed.” The stallion next door was heartbroken, as he’d always wanted to mate with her. He pined for her constantly. Moral of the Story? “A pony spayed is a pony yearned.”

Hare cut of rabbit

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Q: What do you call an operation on a rabbit?
A: A hare-cut.

Hopthalmologist

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Q :Did you hear about the frog with glasses?
A :He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.

Dog with no legs

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter…. he’s not going to come anyway.

lazy platypus

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Q: Why did the platypus catch the bus?
A: Because he didn’t want to walk.

milk to babay

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Q : When should you give reindeer milk to a baby?
A: When its a baby reindeer!

Dinosaur never gives up

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Q: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A: Try-Try-Try-ceratops !

Coop- cakes

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Q: What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
A: Coop-cakes!

Cute Bunch of Cows

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A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. “What a cute bunch of cows!” she remarked. “Not a bunch, herd”, her friend replied. “Heard of what?” “Herd of cows.” “Of course I’ve heard of cows.” “No, a cow herd.” “What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!”