Dinosaur with high heals

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Q: What do you call a dinosaur with high heels?
A: My-feet-are-saurus

Women call a frog

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A :What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Q :Lilly.

Rabbit wearing Glasses

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Q: How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A: Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses!

Say to tha puppy

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Q: What did the skeleton say to the puppy?
A: bonappetite

Tiger with a snowman

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Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
A: Frostbite!

Nasty Wife

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A guy brings a raccoon home , tells his wife it’s a pet. She asks , “Where are you going to keep it?” He repies , “In the bedroom.” “But what about that horrible nasty smell?’ , she asks. “I got used to you , I’m sure he will too!

Horse say to other horse

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Q: What did one horse say to the other horse?
A: The pace is familiar but I can’t remember the mane.

Box of quackers

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Q: What do you call a crate of ducks?
A: A box of quackers

Baaa-stile day

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Q: What do you call sheep taking over France?
A: Baaaa-stile Day.

Morse Toad

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Q :What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
A :Morse toad!

Tiger on a Pogo Stick

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Q: Whats striped and bouncy?
A: A tiger on a pogo stick!

Dino-Store

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Q: Where did Velociraptor buy things?
A: At a dino-store!

Raccoon with carrot

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Q: What do you call an Raccoon with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

Cross owl with oester

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Q: What do you get when you cross an owl and an oyster?
A: Pearls of Wisdom

Stinky winkey donkey

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Q: What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye while breaking wind ? A:
A stinkey winkey wonkey donkey

Girls of my Ex-boyfriend

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Q :Girl: One of my ex-boyfriends sounds like an owl. Boy:
A :Who?

show your skunks

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Q: How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?
A: A phew!

Old neigh-vy

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Q: Where do horses shop?
A: Old Neigh-vy!

Bird that talks

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Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A: A bird that talks your ear off!

Long Turtle

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Q: What do you call a turtle with 6 feet?
A: A 6-foot turtle.

Human balls

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Q: What do cat sharks cough up?
A: Human balls.

Tiger Eat Lion

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Q: Would you rather have a tiger eat your or a lion?
A: I would rather have a tiger eat a lion.

Its whale Of a Tale

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Q: Have you heard of Flight of the Penguins (sequel to March)?
A: Its a whale of a tale

Tiger sing at Christmas

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Q: What do tigers sing at Christmas?
A: Jungle bells!jungle bells!

T-Rex eat Hamburgers

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Q: Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers?
A: Because he is a meat eater!

Alchoholic skunk

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A man and his pet skunk walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my skunk.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the skunk falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a skunk.”

Cross a gator

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Q: What do you get when you cross a gator and a poison frog?
A: A croak-odile.

Stegosaurus

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Q: What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels?
A: A Stegosaurus on roller skates!

not good for health

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Q : Why is a reindeer like a gossip?
A : Because they are both tail bearers

Crocodile with GPS

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Q: What do you call a crocodile with GPS?
A: A Navi-gator.

grape under porcupine

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Q: What did the grape say when the Porcupine stood on it? A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Shell-arious ones

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Q: What kind of jokes do sea turtles tell?
A: Shell-arious ones!

In tha pasture

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Q: Where do you put 2 horses that just broken up?
A: In the pasture

Call a Frozen chart

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Q: What do you call a frozen dog?
A: A pupsicle.

Play cards in Jungle

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Q: Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
A: There are too many cheetahs there!

Gazalles

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What’s red and white and gives presents to gazelles? Santelope!

Sheep Dog with rose

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Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!

Find somewhere else to sleep

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Q: What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ?
A: Find somewhere else to sleep!

Unique Rabbit

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Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on it!

Caramel coated popcorn

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Q: What brand of caramel-coated popcorn and peanuts do sharks prefer?
A: Cracker Sharks

it all happened so fast

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A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day. A gang of snails approach him and beat him up for 7 hours. He is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises. Several hours later, he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station. Herman walks into the Sergeant’s office. “What happened to you? the officer asks. “A gang of snails beat me up,” Herman replied. “Can you describe what they looked like?” “I don’t know,” the sloth says. “It all happened so fast.”

Hamster upset with his job

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Q :Why was the Hamster upset with his job?
A: It didn’t pay enough salary (celery).

Different between OJ simpson

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Q: What’s the difference between OJ Simpson and the Sharks?
A: OJ Simpson had a more credible defence…

Call a Dinasaur

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Q: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A: Try and try and try and try-ceratops

Embarrassed Elephant

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Q :What’s grey but turns red?
A :An embarrassed elephant!

Avagadro is so rich

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Q: Why is Avogadro so rich?
A: He’s a multi-mole-ionare!

Dinosaur slept all day

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Q: Which dinosaur slept all day ?
A: The dino-snore!

Raccoon stand on it

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Q: What did the grape say when the Raccoon stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

World Weakest Animal

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Q :Whats the world weakest animal?
A :A toad, he croaks if you even touch him!

To prove his Possum

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Q: Why did the Koala cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Donkey that can go

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Q: What do you call a Donkey that can go 0-40 in 3.4 seconds?
A: Fibergl-ass

Call group of chicken

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Q: What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A: A Hensemble.

splatter pus

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Q: What do you get when you cross a Platypus and a Steamroller?
A: Splatterpus

Owl owling

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Q: Why did the owl, owl?
A: Because the woodpecker would peck ‘er!

It just let out a wine

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Q: What did the grape say when the otter stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Shark make the best

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Q: What kind of sharks make the best pog players?
A: Slammerheads!

Out oh the way

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Q: What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes?
A: Out of the way!

The Bear Hug

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Q :Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?
A :The bear hug!

Talking lemur…

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Q: What’s more amazing than a talking Lemur?
A: A spelling bee!

Worst then a bite

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Q :Why couldn’t the Gorilla pitcher make it in the major leagues?
A :His balk was worse than his bite!

Toad die

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Q :How did the toad die?
A :He simply croaked!

prove my possum

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Q: Why did the badger cross the road? A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Anywhere he wants too

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Q: Where does a tiger sleep?
A: Anywhere he wants to!

what are you doing?

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A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a grasshopper sitting next to him. “Are you a grasshopper?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes.” “What are you doing at the movies?” The grasshopper replied, “Well, I liked the book.

Goat With Beer

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Q :What do you call a goat with a beard?
A :Goatee!

Owl invite his friend

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Q: Why did the Owl invite his friends over?
A: He didn’t want to be Owl by himself.

Mickey Moose

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Q: What do you get when you cross a mouse and a deer?
A: Mickey Moose

They have Big fingers

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Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: They have big fingers.

A battered puss

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Q: What do you call a deep fried platypus?
A: A battered-pus

600 Pound Gorilla

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Q:What do you feed a 600 pound Gorilla?
A:Anything it wants!

Little Whrose

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Q: What do you call a promiscious pony?
A: A Little Whorse

Hello-hello

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Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur?
A: Hello, hello!

Two rabbits on rollerblades

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Q: What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels?
A: Two rabbits on Rollerblades!

Do sitting on Rabbit

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Q: What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit?
A: A chili dog on a bun!

Blubbering Gum

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Q :What did the shark say to the whale?
A: What are you blubbering about?

Bullshit

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Q: What family does Maiasaur belong to?
A: I don’t think any families in our neighborhood have one!

They beat eggs

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Q: Why don’t chickens like people?
A: They beat eggs!

Goat at sea

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Q :What do you call a goat at sea?
A :Billy Ocean.

End of th window

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Q: Where do toads keep their treasure?
A: In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow!

Cross gator and Poison Frog

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Q :What do you get when you cross a gator and a poison frog?
A :A croakadile.

Chicks to talk

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Q: Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
A: Because talk is cheep!

Four Skin Divers

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Q: How do you circumsize a whale?
A: You send down four-skin divers.

Evaporated milk

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Q: What does an invisible man drink?
A: Evaporated milk!

Healthy Rabbit

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Q: What’s the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd rabbit?
A: One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!

A little otter

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Q: What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter.
A: A little (h)otter

moron platy

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Q: Why did the Platypus cross the road?
A: Because he wanted to see his flat mate.

Bones in the ground

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Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can’t bury them in trees!

Lawn moo-er

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Q :What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A :A lawn moo-er.

Dear calls hunters

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Q: What do deers call hunters?
A: Doe foes.

Alchoholic badger

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A man and his pet badger walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my badger.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the badger falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a badger.”

Drinking crazy

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A man and his pet seagull walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my seagull.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the seagull falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a seagull.”

At the Spawn shop

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Q :Where do you get frogs eggs?
A :At the spawn shop!

Sir???

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Q :What do you call a hamster that can pick up an elephant ?
A: Sir!

Bite the bullet

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Q: Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
A: He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.

one night challenge for man

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According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should’ve known… ONLY women would be able to drag a fat jolly old man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Tiger lily

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Q: What is the fiercest flower in the garden?
A: A tiger lily!

Feet are Saurus

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Q: What do you call a dinosaur with high heels?
A: My-feet-are-saurus

Little of mittens

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Q: Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
A: She had a litter of mittens.

Big Fingers

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Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers!

Gorilla playing quiddtich

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Q: What do you call a gorilla playing quidditch?
A: A hairy potter!!

Gorilla with Machine

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Q: What’s black and dangerous and lives in a tree?
A: A gorilla with a machine gun.

Little boy on Donkey

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donkey_dead

An old man and a little boy on a donkey were on their way into town. They passed by a group of people who said, “What a shame for that old man to be walking while that perfectly able-bodied boy rides that donkey.” So the boy got off the donkey and the old man got on. They later passed by some more people who said,” Why should that little boy have to walk when they have a donkey to ride on. So the little boy got on the donkey and they both rode it. After a while, they passed some more people. They overheard the people say, “That poor donkey must be wore out from carrying both of them.” So the little boy and old man picked up the donkey and started to carry it. They were carrying the donkey across a bridge. The weight of the donkey became just too unbearable and slipped from their grasp and went over the side of the bridge into the water and drowned. The moral of the story is: If You Try To Please Everyone You’ll Eventually Lose Your ASS!

Wear Sunglasses

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Q : Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses to the Christmas party?
A : Because he didn’t want to be recognised!

Baby Giraffes

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Q: What do giraffes have that no one else has?
A: Baby giraffes!

Camel most useful Animal

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This general in the Foreign Legion is transferred to a new fort, and half way through his tour of the place, he spots a mangey old camel tied up at the back of the fort. He turns to the corporal: “What in God’s name do you use that for?”, he asks. The corporal replies “Well, sir, there are a lot of men, and now and then, they become, shall we say, horny….” “Ah, yes, yes, I understand. Fine, move on” About 6 weeks later, the general wakes up feeling so horny, he’d get up on the crack of dawn and calls the corporal. “Bring me to the camel” says he. The corporal does, and once at the camel, he makes it stand up, and places a stool behind it. With that, the general stands on the stool, takes out Mr Floppy and inserts it into the camel. He then proceeds to give it the ride of its life. Having finished, he puts away his equipment, and looks proudly at the corporal. “Well”, he says, “is that the way you men do it around here?” “Er…no, sir”, replies the corporal, “We normally just use the camel to ride to the nearest brothel.”

Stork stand on one leg

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Q: Why does a stork stand on one leg?
A: Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

Tea Cow

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Q: What do you call animal drinking with Justin Timberlake?
A: TEA COW!

Frog in bathtub

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Q : What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A : A rubbit!

T-rex cross road

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Q: Why did the t-rex cross the road?
A: Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet

I’m Saying Grace

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An Arctic explorer came face to face with a polar bear. Afraid of being eaten, he fell to his knees and started praying. When the polar bear knelt down beside him and started praying too, the man shouted, “It’s a miracle!” The polar bear opened one eye and said “Don’t talk while I’m saying grace.”

Talkin Owl

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Q: What’s more amazing than a talking Owl?
A: A spelling bee!

Platypus in a mood

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The platypus went into a bar. He bought two sodas. “That’ll be $2.50, please” said the bartender. “Just put it on my bill” said the platypus.

Bluebird

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Q: What do you call a sad bird?
A: A bluebird!

Cow laughs to hard

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Q: What happens when a cow laughs too hard?
A: It Cowlapses!

elephant

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Q: What do you call a platypus that can pick up an elephant ?
A: Sir!

Firen from hi job

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Q: Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
A: He would only do the BEAR minimum.

Elephant creeping out

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Q :What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night?
A :Russell!

sir?

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Q. What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot?
A. Sir.

Otter get into honest buisness

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Q: How does an otter get into an honest business?
A: Usually through the skylight.

Cat in a station wagon

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Q: What do you call a cat in a station wagon?
A: A car-pet

Pony spayed

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There was this young filly whose owners decided to have her “fixed.” The stallion next door was heartbroken, as he’d always wanted to mate with her. He pined for her constantly. Moral of the Story? “A pony spayed is a pony yearned.”

Long distance

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Q: What’s the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ?
A: Long distance!

sloth stand on grapes

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Q: What did the grape say when the sloth stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

California ferret

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Q: How many California ferret owners does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Thousands. First they have to write to their representatives, educate others, obtain support, etc. then have a bill proposal pass through various committees before the government will allow the bulb to be changed.

lazy workers :D

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Q : How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb?
A : Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down!

Lamb play outside

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Q: Why couldn’t the little lamb play outside?
A: It was being baaaaaaaad!

Spastic Goat

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Q :What do you call a spastic goat?
A :Billy the kid.

Peanut better type

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Q: What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ?
A: A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!

Owl City

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Q: Where do you go for a good time?
A: Owl City.

are you mad?

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Q: Where do seagulls invest their money?
A: In the stork market!

blind reindeer

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Q : What do you call a blind reindeer?
A : No eye deer (no idea)

Shark Hudson

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Q: Who is the shark communitys favorite 1950s film actor
A: Shark Hudson

Whale of tale

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Q :How do you make a Gorilla laugh?
A :Tell it a whale of a tale!

Sitting your school desk

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Q: What should you do if you find a gorilla sitting at your school desk?
A: Sit somewhere else!

Avagadro love to mash

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Q: Avogadro loved to watch MASH. Which character did he like most?
A: Father Molecahy

Porcupine with carrot

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Q: What do you call an Porcupine with a carrot in each ear? A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

Q: What did one chicken say to

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Q: What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
A: “You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”

Take me to your litter

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Q: What did the alien say to the cat?
A: Take me to your litter.

Cross polar bear with seal

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Q: What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal?
A: A polar bear.

Plug its nose

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Q: How do you make a skunk stop smelling?
A: Plug up its nose!

Bugs Bunny !

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Q: What do you get when you cross an insect and a rabbit?
A: Bugs Bunny!

Rubs its legs

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Q:What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together?
A: Chimney Cricket!

Monkey go to drink

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Q: Where do monkeys go to drink?
A: The monkey bars!

Ugly boy

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A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a bb gun in one hand and a grasshopper in the other. “Now Listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy. “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”

End of the rainbow

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Q :Where do frogs keep their treasure?
A :In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow!

Blind Jockey in a race

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blind jockey

A jockey is about to enter an race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘ALLLLEEE OOOP!’ really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do that, you’ll be fine.”

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer’s ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers “Aleeee ooop” in the horse’s ear. The same thing happens – the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, “It’s no good, I’ll have to do it,” and yells, “ALLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.

The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, “Nothing is wrong with me – it’s this bloody horse. What is he – deaf or something?”

The trainer replies, “Deaf? Deaf?! He’s not deaf. He’s blind!” 😀 😀

Terrified postman

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Q: What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?
A: A terrified postman!

Chicken wear Pants

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Q: Why don’t chickens wear pants?
A: There peckers on their face.

Pleased to eat you now

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Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
A: ‘Pleased to eat you.’!

Prefer a cat dialogue

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Q: Why don’t cats like online shopping?
A: They prefer a cat-alogue.

Reindeer wera fur coats

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Q : Why do reindeer wear fur coats?
A : Because they would look silly in plastic macs!

Wears big and grey masks

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Q :What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
A :The elephantom of the opera!

Prince and her paw parr

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Q: What is a cats favorite book?
A: The prince and the paw-purr.

Dusky husky

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Q: What do you call a black Eskimo dog?
A: A dusky husky!

Mooooved to tear

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Q: What do you call a sad cow?
A: Mooooved to tears.

Tired to fired

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Q: Did you hear about the man who tried to feed a bear an Apple?
A: It didn’t bear fruit.

Laughing Stock

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Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
A: Laughing stock

Nuts and Bolts

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Q: Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
A: To get down to the nuts and bolts.

Star warts

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Q: What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
A: Star Warts!

Barn so noisy

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Q: Why is a barn so noisy?
A: All the cows have horns.

Giraffe snots

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Q: Whats green and hangs from trees?
A: Giraffe snot.

Dinosaur lost his glasses

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Q: What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses?
A: uthinkhesawrus

By e-mole

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Q: How does Avogadro write to his friends?
A: By e-mole!

Moody Cow

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Q: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
A: An animal that’s in a baaaaaaaad moooooood.

Leap year

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Q :What is a frogs favorite time?
A :Leap Year!

Lollihops :D

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Q: What’s a toads favorite sweet?
A: Lollihops!

Stable tennis

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Q: What is a young Colts favorite sport?
A: Stable Tennis.

Do-you-think-he-saw-us

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Q: What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A: Doyouthinkhesawus

Farmer like a maigcian

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Q: When is a farmer like a magician?
A: When he turns his cow into pasture.

Dinosaur never gives up

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Q: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A: Try-Try-Try-ceratops !

Dog’s wag their tails

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Q: Why do dogs wag their tails?
A: “Because no one else will do it for them!”

On the Rocks

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Q: How do Penguins drink their cola?
A: On the rocks.

Coop- cakes

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Q: What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
A: Coop-cakes!

Tiger and a snow man

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Q: What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman?
A: Frost-bite!

chiropractor

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Q: Why did Avogadro stop going to a chiropractor on October 24th?
A: He was only tense to the 23rd!

Do you like whales

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Q :Do you like whales?
A : Cause we can go hump back at my place.

Hopthalmologist

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Q :Did you hear about the frog with glasses?
A :He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.

Dancing sheep

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Q: What do you call a dancing sheep?
A: A baa-lerina!

Cross a shark

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Q: What do you get if you cross a shark with a Rottweiler?
A: An abomination unto God Himself

Purr-verted

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Q: What do you call a cat that can’t stop licking itself?
A: Purrr-verted.

Reindeer with three eyes

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Q : What do you call a reindeer with three eyes?
A : Reiiindeer

Owls serves hot Wings

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Q: What do you call an Owl that serves hot wings?
A: Hooters.

Policeman caught Nasty Boy

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A policeman caught a nasty little Australian boy with a BB gun in one hand and a koala in the other. “Now Listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy. “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”

Tea Rex

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Q: How do you ask a dinosaur to lunch?
A: Tea Rex?

Greys moves fastly

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Q :What’s grey and moves at a hundred miles an hour?
A :A jet propelled elephant!

Striped Zebra

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Q: If a quadruped has four legs and a biped has two legs, what is a zebra?
A: A stri-ped.

Plant a frog

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Q :What do you get when you plant a frog?
A :A cr-oak tree.

lazy platypus

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Q: Why did the platypus catch the bus?
A: Because he didn’t want to walk.

Platypus learning new language

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Q: When does a platypus go “moo”?
A: When it is learning a new language!

Crocodile like to drink

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Q: What do yuppie crocodiles like to drink
A: Jaw-va

Fast food

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Q: What does a cat call a hummingbird?
A: Fast food.

Cute Bunch of Cows

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A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. “What a cute bunch of cows!” she remarked. “Not a bunch, herd”, her friend replied. “Heard of what?” “Herd of cows.” “Of course I’ve heard of cows.” “No, a cow herd.” “What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!”

Otter is much better than pizza

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Q: What’s the difference between a pizza and an otter?
A: A pizza doesn’t scream when you put it in the oven.

Dino mite

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Q: What do you get when you put a bomb and a dinosaur together?
A: Dino-mite.

Elk a seltzer

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Q : What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy?
A : “Elk”-a-seltzer!

Slide down the banana ster

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Q: How do monkeys get down the stairs?
A: They slide down the banana-ster!

milk to babay

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Q : When should you give reindeer milk to a baby?
A: When its a baby reindeer!

ugly little boy

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A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a bb gun in one hand and a platypus in the other. “Now Listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy. “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”

Female Squirrel

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Q: What do you call a squirrel with no nuts?
A: Female Squirrel.

Shark favourite doustin

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Q: What is a sharks favorite Dustin Hoffman Film
A: Midnight Caudal

Hare cut of rabbit

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Q: What do you call an operation on a rabbit?
A: A hare-cut.

Tell a runaway horse

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Q: What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?
A: A tale of WHOA!

Ferret crossing road

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Q: Why did the ferret cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Enough Bytes

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Q: What’s the similarity between a Alligator and Windows?
A: Neither of them has enough bytes!

Baaa boon

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Q: What animal sounds like a sheep but isn’t?
A: A baaaa-boon!

Dog sits on his chair

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Q: Why wouldn’t the dog sit on his chair?
A: Because he left his sheet[shit] on there.

Walkie talkiee

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Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a centipede?
A: A walkie-talkie.

Avagadro have pets?

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Q: Why cant Avogadro have pets.
A: Because he will mole them.

An ape-ricot Sour

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Q :Which drink makes a Gorilla feel tipsy?
A :An ape-ricot sour!

Please hop on!

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Q: What did the bus conductor say to the toad?
A: Hop on!

Rottweiller in Cenima

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Q: Where does a Rottweiller sit in the cinema?
A: Anywhere it wants to!

Polar fixed his teeths

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Q: What did the polar bear eat after the dentist fixed its tooth?
A: The dentist.

Both have big memories

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Q :How are elephants and computers similar?
A :They both have big memories.

Made out of leather

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Q: Why are cows so soft?
A: Because they are made out of leather.

Dogs with no legs

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter…. he’s not going to come anyway.

Horse Cross the road

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Q: Why did the horse cross the road?
A: Because somebody shouted hay!

Falling down

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Q :Why did the elephants get kicked out of the pool?
A :Because their trunks kept on falling down.

Raining cats and dogs

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gif-hamster-1809066

 

 

 

 

 

Q :When do hamsters run away from rain?
A: When its raining cats and dogs!

Eggs-plodes

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Q: What happens when you drop a hand gren-egg?
A: It eggs-plodes!

Sir loin

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Q: What do you call a cow with full armor?
A: Sir loin

Need a Bigger condom

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Q: What did the teenage sharks say when they were having sex?
A: “we’re going to need a bigger condom!”

Religiuos Eskimo

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The devout eskimo lost his favorite Bible while he was ice fishing. Three weeks later, a baby polar bear walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The eskimo couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the polar bear’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the baby polar bear. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

New to the Area

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Q :Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
A :Because he was newt to the area!

Middle of dinosaur

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Q: What is in the middle of dinosaurs ?
A: The letter “s”!

Horse lives next door

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Q: What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A: A neigh-bor!

Hot croaka!

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Q :What do frogs drink?
A :Hot croako!

Prove its possum

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Q: Why did the otter cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

foolish

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Q: Why is it better to be a grasshopper than a cricket?
A: Because grasshoppers can play cricket but crickets can’t play grasshopper!

George Washington

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Q :What did George Washington have to do with Gorillas?
A : As little as possible, dummy!

Horses bad manners

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Q: Why did the horse eat with its mouth open?
A: Because it had bad stable manners!

Bluberring about

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Q :What did the shark say to the whale?
A :What are u blubbering about?

Kong-vict

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Q:What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner?
A: A Kong-vict!

Cow walking backwards

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Q: What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A: A cow walking backwards!

Talk to a cow

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Q: What happens when you talk to a cow?
A: It goes in one ear and out the udder!

Evening mews

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Q: What is the cat’s favorite TV show?
A: The evening mews!

Alligators does Tricks

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A guy walks into a bar with a crocodile. The bartender goes, “You can’t bring that animal in here!” But the guy says, “Hey, he does tricks. Watch!” He taps on the crocodile’s head, and the beast opens its mouth. The guy unzips his pants, whips out his vulnerable member, and puts it in the crocodile’s mouth. Then he taps on the crocodile’s head again, and the beast closes its mouth. Everyone in the bar is aghast. The guy gets his penis out, and he goes, “I’ll give 100 bucks to anyone who can do that.” Everyone is really, really quiet. Suddenly, a drunk shouts, “I… I think I can do that. But I don’t think I can leave my mouth open that long!”

Double crosser

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
A: He was a double-crosser!

Chicken go to KFC

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Q: Why did the chicken go to KFC?
A: He wanted to see a chicken strip.

Dog with no legs

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter…. he’s not going to come anyway.

Sid Travelling Down

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Sid was travelling down a country road in his native Yorkshire, England when he saw a crowd of people gathering outside a farmhouse.Prize Donkey Joke
It was a cold November afternoon, so he stopped and asked Farmer Ellis why such a large crowd of men was gathered there.
The farmer replied, ‘Jo’s donkey kicked his mother-in-law and she died.’
‘Well, ‘replied the man, ‘She must have had a lot of friends.’
‘Nope, ‘said Farmer Ellis.’ We all just want to buy his donkey.’

BMW is less smarter

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Q: What’s the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

A: The pricks are on the outside on a porcupine!

High Bollocks

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Q: What’s the difference between a tractor and a giraffe?
A: One has hydrolics and the other has high bollocks

Lion that swam underwater

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Q: What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?
A: ‘Claws.’

Camel Teaches Llama

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Q: What did the camel say to the llama?
A: Let me teach you how to spit.

Llama spirtual leader

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Q: Who is the llama spiritual leader?
A: The Dalai Llama

Down in the mouth

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Q: How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow?
A: Down in the mouth !

Cow cross the road

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.

Paint rabbits on his head

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Q: Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
A: Because from a distance they looked like hares!

With Cowculator

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Q: How does a farmer count a herd of cows?
A: With a Cowculator

Reptile works in a farm

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Q: What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
A: An irri-gator.

Udder Failure

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Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: An udder failure.

Tusk fairy.!

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Q :What grey, has a wand, huge wings and gives money to elephants?
A :The tusk fairy!

Bunny cross the road

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Q: Why did the bunny cross the road?
A: He wanted to prove he could hip hop!

Make shark laugh

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Q: How do you make a shark laugh?
A: Tell a whale of a tale.

Stumpy

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Q: What’s the silliest name you can give a giraffe?
A: Stumpy.

Enormous holes

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Q. What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops?
A. Enormous holes in the base boards.

Roaster doo something

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Q: Why did the rooster cross the road?
A: To cockadoodle dooo something!

Turtle During Winter

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Q: What does a turtle do during winter?
A: Sit by the fire and worm himself up.

lemur learning language

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Q: When does a Lemur go “roarrrr”?
A: When it is learning a new language!

Takes the bull by the horns

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Q: Did you hear that Chuck Norris is a matador?
A: He takes the bull by the horns.

Dirty double crosser

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Q : What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again?
A :  A dirty double-crosser!

hippcratic Oath

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Q: How do you make sure a hippo is telling you the truth?
A: Make him take the Hippocratic Oath.

Alligator up on the bar

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A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons.

“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He’ll then open his mouth, and I’ll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.”

The crowd murmurs their approval. The man stands up on the bar, drops his trousers, and places his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator closes his mouth as the crowd gasps. After a minute, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top its head. The gator opens his mouth, and the man removes his genitals, unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and he receives the first of his free drinks.

The man stands up again and makes another offer: “I’ll pay anyone $100 who’s willing to give it a try.”

A hush falls over the crowd. A moment later, a hand goes up in the back of the bar.

“I’ll try,” says a small woman, “but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle.”

Act like Chestnut

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Q: How do you catch a squirrel with a Katy Perry fixation?
A: Climb a tree and act like a chestnut.

Women need in her life

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Q: What 4 animals does a woman need in her life?
A: A mink on her back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in her bed and a jackass to pay for it all.

Crossing the road

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Q: Why did the Raccoon cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Parrot flew away

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Q: What do you call a parrot that flew away?
A: A polygon

Dino – sewer

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Q: Who makes dinosaur clothes?
A: dino-sewer.

Cinderelephant

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Q :What’s grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
A :Cinderelephant!

Bear ate lease

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Q: What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?
A: “Well, doggone!”

Frog wear Jumpsuit

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Q :What do stylish frogs wear?
A :Jumpsuits!

A little wine

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Q: What did the grape say when the hippopotamus stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Cougars favourite

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Q: What is cougar’s favorite food ?
A: Baked beings !

Grasshopper

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The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a grasshopper walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the grasshopper’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the grasshopper. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

Lives in an igloo

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Q: What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?
A: An eskimew!

Bombshell outside

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Q: What do you call the outside of a hand gren-egg?
A: The bombshell!

Shark Tem-sempra

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Q: What magical spell causes the victim to bleed profusely?
A: Shark-temsempra

Call a dog magician

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Q: What do you call a dog magician?
A: A labracadabrador.

Vidal Baboon

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Q: Where do gorillas like to get their hair cut?
A: Vidal Baboon!

Shellebrity

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Q: What do you call a famous turtle?
A: A shellebrity.

One Tought Nut

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Q: Why couldn’t the squirrel eat the macadamia nut?
A: It was one tough nut to crack.

Hoppercraft

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Q :What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
A :A hoppercraft!

mic needle

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Q: How do you inoculate a hippo?
A: With a hippodermic needle.

Alligators like to drink

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Q: What do yuppie alligators like to drink
A: Jaw-va

Slow Swimmers

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Q: What do you call the stuff between a shark’s teeth?
A: Slow Swimmers.

Egg cross the road

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Q: How did the egg cross the road?
A: It scrambled across!

Playboy mansion

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Q: What do you call a platypus at the playboy mansion?
A: Platypussy

They were Chicken

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Q: Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?
A: Because they were chicken

Goat hosting the Oscar

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Q :What do you call a goat hosting the Oscars?
A :Billy Crystal.

Owls are Clever then chicken

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Q: How do you know that owls are cleverer than chickens?
A: Have you ever heard of Kentucky-fried owl!

Drinking whole night

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A man and his pet ferret walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my ferret.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the ferret falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a ferret.”

Owl with a carrot

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Q: What do you call a Owl with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

blind sparrows

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Q: Where do blind sparrows go for treatment?
A: The Birds Eye counter!

Smells like bacon

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Q :What is small, furry and smells like bacon?
A: A hamster!

Because he has sandy claws

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Q: Why is the desert lion everyone’s favorite at Christmas?
A: Because he has sandy claws!

Pain in the ass

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Q: What do you get when a donkey eats a porcupine?
A: A pain in the ass.

Rude-olph

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Q : Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?
A : “Rude”-olph!

Avagadro in bed

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Q: What kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
A: Moleonucleosis

Pasta to cow

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Q: What do you get when you give pasta to a cow?
A: Beefaroni.

Precious book out of cow

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The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the cow. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

Buy Sharks on wall streets

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Q: Where can you buy sharks on Wall Street?
A: At the shark (stock) market, of course!

Eggs Stinks

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Q: Why are dinosaurs no longer around?
A: Because their eggs stink.

Any kind

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Q: Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ?
A: Any kind! A house cannot jump!

Chicken Joke

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Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Because the chicken joke wasn’t invented yet.

The guys was right

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Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. “Hey, I don’t want to tell you how to do something … but I can tell you that it’s much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won’t dig into the ground.” After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it. A little while later one hunter said to the other, “You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!” “Yeah, but we’re getting farther from the truck,” the other added.

Its Shadow

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Q: What is as big as a gorilla but weighs nothing?
A: Its shadow!

The Naked Ape!

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Q :Which book makes prudish Gorillas blush?
A : The Naked Ape!

Lay an every day

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Q: What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
A: Hendurance.

Policeman in shop

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A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a miniature parrot in the front seat. “What are you doing with that parrot?” He exclaimed, “You should take it to the zoo.” The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the parrot again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over. “I thought you were going to take that parrot to the zoo!” The man replied, “I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!”

Snowy jokes

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Q: What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
A: Owlgebra

Cross platypus

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Q: What do you get when you cross a platypus with a king-sized dinner?

A: A fatty-pus.

Blind Dinasaur

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Q: What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A: adoyouthinkhesaurus.

Coraka cola

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Q: What do toads drink?
A: Croaka-cola!

Beast of the Show

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Q : How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest?
A : She was the beast of the show!

Hire a teddy bear

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Q: How do you hire a teddy bear?
A: Put him on stilts!

Beef-flat

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Q: What’s a cow’s favorite moosical note?
A: Beef-flat

Things get more Worst

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Q: Polar bear cubs are born wet, naked, and in an icy cave. Then what happens?
A: Things get worse!

are you mad

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Q : Which reindeer have the shortest legs?
A : The smallest ones!

Avagadro favourite ice-cream

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Q: What did Avogadro get when he mixed ice cream, chocolate syrup, and milk together?
A: A chocolate Molted

Crocodile attack lawyers

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Q: Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy!

cenima lover

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A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a skunk sitting next to him.
“Are you a skunk?” asked the man,
surprised. “Yes.”
“What are you doing at the movies?” The skunk replied,
“Well, I liked the book.”

Keep their Nuts Dry

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Q: Why do squirrels swin on there back?
A: To keep their nuts dry!

otter learns language

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Q: When does a otter go “moo”?
A: When it is learning a new language!

hamster on Spring break

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Q :Where does a hamster go for Spring Break?
A: Hamsterdam!

Chicken wanted to play squash

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Q: Why did the chicken stand in the middle of the road?
A: Coz he wanted to play squash!

Shellebration

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Q: What happens when you bring a turtle to a party?
A: It becomes a shellebration.

Happy polar bears

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Q: What has four legs and a flipper?
A: A happy polar bear!

Shark favourite Chraracter

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Q: Who was the sharks favorite character on NBC’s “The Office”
A: Michael Shark

Hamster sandwitch

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Q :What’s gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside?
A: A hamster sandwich!

Devout Cowboy

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The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the savannah. Three weeks later, a Hippopotamus walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the Hippos mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the Hippo. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

Tail Gator

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Q: What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A: A tail-gater.

Get a horse drunk

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Q: How do you get a horse drunk?
A: Drink him under the stable.

Moo-day

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Q: What do you call a grumpy cow?
A: Moo-dy

Tiger become Herbivore

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Q: Why can’t a tiger become a herbivore?
A: A tiger can’t change his stripes.

Horrible dream of my life

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Q: What do you call a dream in which polar bears are attacking you?
A: A bitemare!

Chicken coop have two doors :D

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Q: Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
A: Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!

Polly un saturated

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Q: Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?
A: Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated!

Dowm in mouth

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Q: How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow?
A: Down in the mouth!

Open toad sandals

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Q : What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
A : Open toad sandals!

Double Dare

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One day, a very rich man announced in a party that if any person present in the party dares to swim across the swimming pool which has more than twenty crocodiles, he will be awarded with either half of the rich man’s property or his beautiful daughter. After a period of silence, the rich man saw a young man splashed into the pool swimming as fast as he can, with all his efforts, saving himself from the crocodiles. And at last, he survived through the pool. Everybody started clapping. The rich man was overjoyed with the young man’s bravery. He congratulated him and then asked what do you want, my property or daughter. To this, the man replied, “Sir, neither I want your property, nor your daughter, I just want the man who threw me in the water.”

Moles love chemistry

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MOLE day

Q: What element do moles love to study in chemistry?
A: Molybdenum

Solitary sharks

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Q: What do you call a solitary shark
A: A “lone” (loan) shark

Pandas like old movie

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Q: Why do pandas like old movies?
A: Because they’re in black and white.

lions birhtday party

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A student named Jacob was sitting in class one day and the teacher walked by and he asked her “How do you put an elephant in the fridge?” The teacher said “I don’t know, how?” Jacob then said “You open the door and put it in there!” Then Jacob asked the teacher another question “How do you put a sloth in the fridge?” The teacher then replied “Ohh I know this one, you open the door and put it in there?” Jacob said “No, you open the door, take the elephant out, and then you put it in there.” Then he asked another question…”All the animals went to the lions birthday party, except one animal, which one was it?” The teacher a bit confused and said “The lion?” Then the student said “No,the sloth because he’s still in the fridge.” then he asked her just one more question….”If there is a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to get across it,how would you” The teacher then says “You would walk over the bridge.” Then Jacob says “No, you would swim across because all the crocodiles are at the lions birthday party!” She laughs and walks away.

Platypus took little wine

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Q: What did the grape say when the platypus stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

hamster with no leg

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Q :What do you call a hamster with no legs?
A: A furball.

Monkey like the banana

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Q: Why did the monkey like the banana?
A: Because it had appeal

Speak to his foot

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Q: Why didn’t the dog speak to his foot?
A: Because it’s not polite to talk back to your paw!

Shark in blennder

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Q: What’s better than a shark in a blender?
A: Two sharks in a blender

Cows when sick

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Q: What do cows get when they are sick?
A: Hay Fever

Alligator in a vest

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Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator

Humpty Dumpty

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Q: What is a camels favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpty Dumpty

IHOP restaurants

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Q: Where do rabbits work?
A: At IHOP restaurants!

Cat has trophy

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Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!

Dog went to flea circus

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Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show!

Keep Polar bear for charging

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Q: How do you keep a polar bear from charging?
A: Insist that it pay cash!

Jawbreaker

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Q: What do you call a man too big for an alligator to eat?
A: a jawbreaker.

Shellmet

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Q: What does a turtle need to ride a bike?
A: A shellmet.

Strawberry patch

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Q: Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red?
A: So she could hide in the strawberry patch!

Feet smell nasty

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Q: Why does a brontosaurus have a long neck?
A: Because it’s feet smell.

Liam nelson

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Q: Why did Liam Neeson rescue his daughter?
A: He couldn’t lemur behind.

Broke the moled

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Q: Why was there only one Avogadro?
A: When they made him, they broke the Moled

cows have horns

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Q: Why is the barn so noisy?
A: Because all of the cows have horns.

Moody blues

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Q: What band is a cow favorite?
A: Moody Blues

Choclate melodt

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Q: What did Avogadro get when he mixed ice cream, chocolate syrup, and milk together?
A: A chocolate Moledt

How do You

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A student named Jacob was sitting in class one day and the teacher walked by and he asked her “How do you put an elephant in the fridge?” The teacher said “I don’t know, how?” Jacob then said “You open the door and put it in there!” Then Jacob asked the teacher another question “How do you put a zebra in the fridge?” The teacher then replied “Ohh I know this one, you open the door and put it in there?” Jacob said “No, you open the door, take the elephant out, and then you put it in there.” Then he asked another question…”All the animals went to the lions birthday party, except one animal, which one was it?” The teacher a bit confused and said “The lion?” Then the student said “No,the zebra because he’s still in the fridge.” then he asked her just one more question….”If there is a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to get across it,how would you” The teacher then says “You would walk over the bridge.” Then Jacob says “No, you would swim across because all the crocodiles are at the lions birthday party!” She laughs and walks away.

Hipp-hop

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Q: What’s a hippos favourite kind of music?
A: Hip-hop

Dinosaur crashes his car

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Q: What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?
A: Tyrannosaurus wrecks!

Mangy looking guy

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A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says: “No way. I don’t think you can pay for it.”
The guy says, “You’re right. I don’t have any money, but if I show you something you haven’t seen before, will you give me a drink?”
The bartender says, “Only if what you show me ain’t risque.”
“Deal!” says the guy and reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of bar, down the bar, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the key board and starts playing Gershwin songs. And the hamster is really good.
The bartender says, “You’re right. I’ve never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly good on the piano.” The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another.
“Money or another miracle else no drink”, says the bartender. The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog.
The guy says “It’s a deal.” He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar. The bartender says to the guy “Are you some kind of nut? You sold a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy.”
“Not so”, says the guy. “The hamster is also a ventriloquist.”

Reindeer wearing ear muffs

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Q : What do you call a reindeer wearing ear muffs?
A : Anything you want because he can’t hear you!

Hoo tenanany

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Q: What do you call an owl get together?
A: A HOO-tenanny

Tyransaurus Tex!

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Q: What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ?
A: Tyrannosaurus tex!

Emperior Penguin

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Q: What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
A: Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.

Elephant at North pole

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Q :What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
A :Lost!

Cows listen Piano

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Q: What did the cow say when a person played the piano?
A: That’s good moooooosic.

My Tails told

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A papa polar bear, a mama polar bear, and a