Nice Knawing you

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did they llama say to the blade of grass?
A: Nice knawing you!

Let out a little wine

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
A :Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Smoking Cigarette

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q. How do you know when your cat’s done cleaning herself?
A. She’s smoking a cigarette.

Elephant weighs nothing

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
A :Its shadow!

Drizzle bears

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What are polar bears called when they get caught in the rain?
A: Drizzly bears.

Chicken crossed the road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?
A: He was a dirty double crosser!

Sore throat

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A: A Diplodocus with a sore throat!

Spelling bee

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What’s more amazing than a talking hippo?
A: A spelling bee!

Elephants afraid of cheetahs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Why don’t elephants like playing cards in the jungle?
A :Because of all the cheetahs!

Ground beef

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs at all?
A: Ground beef

Mooolasses

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What does a cow put on his french toast?
A: Moooolasses.

Otter knows how to drive ?

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (6 votes, average: 2.83 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: An otter and an otter are in a car, who’s driving?
A: Animal Control

She was a candy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Did you hear about the donkey that was afraid to speak up for herself?
A: She was a candy-ass.

A Polygon

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What figure describes a lost parrot?
A: A polygon!

terrible lawyers

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why do sharks make terrible lawyers?
A: They’re too nice!

Egg crisize

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do chickens get strong?
A: Egg-cersize.

To get other

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Why did the whale cross the road?
A :To get to the other tide!

Stable diet

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why are most horses in shape?
A: Because they are on a stable diet.

Farmers milk them dry

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why don’t cows have any money?
A: Because farmers milk them dry

Pickup your truck

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of badgers. He pulls the guy over and says… “You can’t drive around with badgers in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately.” The guy says “OK”… and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of badgers, and they’re all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands… “I thought I told you to take these badgers to the zoo yesterday?” The guy replies… “I did . . . today I’m taking them to the beach!”

Letter to her friend

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
A: In a HEN-velope!

Nuts Won’t Fit

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why don’t squirrels wear skinny jeans?
A: Because their nuts won’t fit

March Of Penguins

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did Morgan Freeman say when Penguins told him they liked March of the Penguins?
A: Why the hell was I narrating it if Penguins can talk

Somethin about Owl

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Did you hear the one about the owl?
A: It was a hoot.

Shepherd looking for a sheep

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A shepherd was looking for a lost sheep, after a couple hours he found it stuck in some briar bushes and covered with mud. He rescued the sheep. After several slanderous remarks about the muddy dumb sheep, the sheep blurted out, “What are you griping about, I almost drowned in the pond?” Shocked at hearing the Sheep speak, the Shepherd asked the sheep why he was in the pond in the first place, “Don’t you know sheep can’t swim?”, We were not swimming, we were wallowing in mud and I stepped into, a deep hole?” “Who is we?” the Shepherd asked. “Me and the pig?” The sheep replied. “Why on earth would you wallow in mud?” asked the Shepherd. “Well the pig said it would make me cooler, I was getting hot.” The shepherd asked the sheep where the pig was. The sheep replied. “He went back to the barn.” So the Shepherd put the sheep on his shoulders and began his trip back to the barn. He did not own a pig, and he planned to take the pig to task for the mud wallowing incident. The next day the shepherd?s rich neighbor a farmer came by and inquired if the shepherd had seen his pig. Soon the Shepherd began telling the rich farmer about the sheep and pig story, and demanded compensation for the incident caused by the farmer’s pig.” The farmer expressed his doubts to the Shepherd, whereupon the Sheep blurted out “He’s right, it was your pig that did it.” Just then the rich farmer realized that this was a talking sheep. He thought to himself, “I can make millions with a talking sheep. He stopped the discussion and asked if the shepherd would take 500 dollars for the sheep. The shepherd replied that he would consider the sale on an as is basis, no guarantees. The farmer then bought the sheep and the trade was done. The shepherd turned and as he walked away the farmer heard him say “Well that’s one less diseased and dying sheep I have to worry about, Your pig said he was full of shit anyway.”

Got milk?

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did one dairy cow say to another?
A: Got milk?

Gatorade

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (5 votes, average: 3.80 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do alligators drink before a race?
A: Gator-Ade.

Frogs are happy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :Why are frogs so happy?
A :They eat watever bugs them!

smell icopter

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q:What do you call a flying skunk?
A: A smell-icopter.

Barney in an elevator

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s green and purple and goes up and down?
A: Barney in an elevator.

Twelve foot tooth Brush

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedgehog?
A: A twelve-foot toothbrush

Ferret favourite song

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is a ferret’s favorite song?
A: Dook, dook, dook, dook of Earl…

Owl caught in the act

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call an owl caught in the act?
A: Spotted!

Shell Block

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (5 votes, average: 2.80 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
A: To the shell-block.

Two Hunters

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Two hunters decide to go moose hunting in Canada. They hire an airplane to drop them off in a remote region. The pilot drops them off and tells them, “I`ll be back in one week. No more than one moose – got it?” One week passes, and the pilot returns. The hunters have two moose. The pilot says, “Hey, I told you guys no more than one moose.” One of the hunters replies, “Look the pilot told us the same thing last year and we gave him a `big` tip to take both moose out.” The three of them argue for several minutes more. The pilot gives up and agrees to take both moose. Well, they load up the moose and fire up the plane. The plane shudders and strains trying to take off. It finally gets the wheels off the ground 5 feet, 10 feet. Whoops! It runs out of runway and smashes into a tree. The two hunters, dazed and confused make there way out of the wreckage. One hunter looks at the other and says, “Where the heck are we?” The other looks around and replies, “About 200 yards further than we got last year!”

A swell shark

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is the keenest kind of shark?
A: A swellshark!

Giraffe winning a horse race

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A: A longshot.

Skunk with bear

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
A: Winnie the PU!

Neigh buzz

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if you cross a horse with a bee?
A: Neigh buzz

Beef Jerky

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?
A: Beef Jerky

Out of the way

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when a dinosaur blows it’s nose?
A: OUT of the way!!

Leatherback Sec turtle

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (6 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What is a Leatherback Sea Turtles favorite sandwich?
A: Peanut butter and jellyfish.

Unique up on it

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do you catch a unique bird?
A: Unique up on it.

Dinosaur go extinct

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the dinosaurs go extinct?
A: Because they wouldn’t take a bath!

A Guy walks in a bar with his pet Monkey

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking it the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?” The guy says, “No, what?” “He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!”, says the bartender. “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the patron. “He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I’ll pay for the cue ball and stuff.” He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he’s in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now?”, he asks. “Now what?”, responds the patron. “Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!” says the barkeeper. “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the patron. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!”

Curiosity killed the cat

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Did you hear about the cat who wanted a dog to teach her how to bark?
A: Curiousity killed the cat.

Calvin feed hobbes

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What does Calvin feed Hobbes?
A: Nothing he’s already stuffed.

Mooooove Over

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did one cow say to the other?
A: Mooooooove over!

Fleece Navidad!!

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: “Fleece Navidad!”

Decalfenated

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do call a cow that has just had a calf?
A: Decalfenated

moltiplication

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
A: Moletiplication

Non typical white tail

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is the defination of a non-typical Whitetail?
A: One that stays off the Highway!

Otter with carrot

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (5 votes, average: 3.40 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

Headmaster and Buflings

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?
A: Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth!

Coutnt them all

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds?
A: Yes, 8 Iguanadons and 2 Stegasaurus.

Dino-sewer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ?
A: A dino-sewer !

Blonde Pet zebra

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot!

A Brr-grrr

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do polar bears like to eat in the cold?
A: A “brrr”-“grrr”!

Saturday morning

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

It was Saturday morning and John, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Mary, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage. John asks her, “What are you up to?” Mary smiles, “I’m going hunting with you!” John, though he has many reservations, reluctantly decides to take her along. They arrive at the hunting site. John sets his wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her: “If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I’ll come running back as soon as I hear the shot.” John walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Mary couldn’t bag an elephant — much less a deer. But not 10 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots. Quickly, John starts running back. As John gets closer to her stand, he hears Mary screaming, “Get away from my deer!” Confused, John races faster towards his screaming wife. And again he hears her yell, “Get away from my deer!” followed by another volley of gunfire. Now within sight of where he had left his wife, John is surprised to see a cowboy, with his hands high in the air. The cowboy, obviously distraught, says, “Okay, lady, okay! You can have your deer! Just let me get my saddle off it!”‘

Frogs haven’t so many legs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs?
A :They sit eggsaminations!

Tyrannosaurus want to sit

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay?
A: Anywhere he wants to.

Monkey’s Uncle

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Did you hear about the man who can jump from tree to tree?
A: He was a monkey’s uncle.

Milking stool have

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why does a milking stool have only three legs?
A: Because the cow has the udder

Anything you like..

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q. What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears?
A. Anything you like, he won’t hear you!

Prancer always wet

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : Why is Prancer always wet?
A : Because he’s a “rain”-deer!

Play cards in Jungle

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
A: There are too many cheetahs there!

Raccoon with carrot

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call an Raccoon with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

not good for health

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q : Why is a reindeer like a gossip?
A : Because they are both tail bearers

Baaa-stile day

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call sheep taking over France?
A: Baaaa-stile Day.

Raccon learning new language

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: When does a Raccoon go “moo”?
A: When it is learning a new language!

Rabbit with no hair

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you find a rabbit with no hair?
A: A hairless hare!

Tiger sing at Christmas

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do tigers sing at Christmas?
A: Jungle bells!jungle bells!

Rubbish

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What makes more noise than a dinosaur ?
A: Two dinosaurs !

Man kills a deer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue. Well, he said, ‘It’s what mummy calls me sometimes’. The little girl screams to her brother ‘Don’t eat it, it’s an asshole..

Shark terk

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is a sharks favorite sci-fi show
A: Shark Trek

Three feet of my cock

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q:If you had a donkey and I had a chicken and if your donkey ate my chicken what will you have?
A:Three feet of my cock up your ass.

He’s a Rain -deer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : Why is Prancer always wet?
A : Because he’s a “rain”-deer!

Gazalles

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

What’s red and white and gives presents to gazelles? Santelope!

Mooney

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do cows get when they do all their chores?
A: Mooney.

Rabbit hood

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s the name of the rabbit who stole from the rich and gave to the
A: Rabbit Hood.

Call a Frozen chart

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a frozen dog?
A: A pupsicle.

Horse say to other horse

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did one horse say to the other horse?
A: The pace is familiar but I can’t remember the mane.

Nasty Wife

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A guy brings a raccoon home , tells his wife it’s a pet. She asks , “Where are you going to keep it?” He repies , “In the bedroom.” “But what about that horrible nasty smell?’ , she asks. “I got used to you , I’m sure he will too!

Frogs having Fun

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A cat told a frog “time flies when you are having fun”
The frog corrected her “Actually it’s time is fun when you’re having flies!”

Bear like Bald man

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why do polar bears like bald men?
A: Because they have a great, white, bear (uh…bare) place!

Build herself a new House

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the bunny build herself a new house?
A: She was fed up with the hole thing!

Human balls

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do cat sharks cough up?
A: Human balls.

Whale of a tale

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :How do you make a fish laugh?
A :Tell a whale of a tale.

Slow Poke

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (9 votes, average: 2.44 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a turtle with a hard on?
A: A slow poke.

Tadpole

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A :A tadpole!

Sheep Dog with rose

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!

show your skunks

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?
A: A phew!

Sas-gorilla

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s a monkey’s favourite drink?
A: A sas-gorilla.

Vampire shark

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s worse than being bitten by a shark?
A: Being bitten by a vampire shark

Tiger on a Pogo Stick

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Whats striped and bouncy?
A: A tiger on a pogo stick!

Why do you have Breast on your back

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

The elephant asked the camel: “Why do you have your breasts on your back?” The camel clearly irritated by the outrage of modesty replies: “What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face.”

prove my possum

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the badger cross the road? A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Old neigh-vy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Where do horses shop?
A: Old Neigh-vy!

Triceratops with a kangaroo

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ?
A: A Tricera-hops!

Hippo with carrot

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a hippo with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

Tiger Eat Lion

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Would you rather have a tiger eat your or a lion?
A: I would rather have a tiger eat a lion.

Tiger eats the comedian

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What happened when the tiger ate the comedian ?
A: He felt funny !

Girls of my Ex-boyfriend

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Girl: One of my ex-boyfriends sounds like an owl. Boy:
A :Who?

Squash

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What is an elephants favorite sport?
A :Squash

Jockey communicate

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How does a winning jockey communicate with his horse?
A: He lays his cards on the stable.

Morse Toad

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
A :Morse toad!

Cross owl with oester

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross an owl and an oyster?
A: Pearls of Wisdom

Call four female deer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call four female deer?
A: FO REAL DOE

Fast food is so fast

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why don’t polar bears like fast food?
A: Because they can’t catch it!

Little wine

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did the grape say when the Lemur stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Frogs listens music

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What kind of music do frogs listen to?
A :Hip Hop

Bite off your head

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?
A: A tiger moth!

Goat married with Angelina Jolie

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What do you call a goat that was married to Angelina Jolie?
A :Billy Bob Thorton.

Crocodile with GPS

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (7 votes, average: 4.29 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a crocodile with GPS?
A: A Navi-gator.

moron platy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the Platypus cross the road?
A: Because he wanted to see his flat mate.

Goat at sea

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What do you call a goat at sea?
A :Billy Ocean.

Hello-hello

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur?
A: Hello, hello!

Alchoholic skunk

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A man and his pet skunk walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my skunk.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the skunk falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a skunk.”

Tiger with a snowman

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
A: Frostbite!

Worst then a bite

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Why couldn’t the Gorilla pitcher make it in the major leagues?
A :His balk was worse than his bite!

Healthy Rabbit

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd rabbit?
A: One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!

It just let out a wine

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (6 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the grape say when the otter stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Embarrassed Elephant

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What’s grey but turns red?
A :An embarrassed elephant!

Dinosaur with high heals

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with high heels?
A: My-feet-are-saurus

Rabbit using computer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do rabbits put in their computers?
A: Hoppy disks!

Cross a gator

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a gator and a poison frog?
A: A croak-odile.

Horse that lose a race

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race?
A: Sherbet

Mickey Moose

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a mouse and a deer?
A: Mickey Moose

Little Whrose

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a promiscious pony?
A: A Little Whorse

A little otter

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter.
A: A little (h)otter

Two rabbits on rollerblades

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels?
A: Two rabbits on Rollerblades!

T-Rex eat Hamburgers

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers?
A: Because he is a meat eater!

Bones in the ground

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can’t bury them in trees!

Bite the bullet

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
A: He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.

Caramel coated popcorn

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What brand of caramel-coated popcorn and peanuts do sharks prefer?
A: Cracker Sharks

Bird that talks

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A: A bird that talks your ear off!

Say to tha puppy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the skeleton say to the puppy?
A: bonappetite

Cuckoo-cluck

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a crazy chicken?
A: A cuckoo cluck!

Unique Rabbit

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on it!

Call a Dinasaur

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A: Try and try and try and try-ceratops

Millionare rabbit

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Did you hear about the rich rabbit?
A: He was a millionhare!

Talking lemur…

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What’s more amazing than a talking Lemur?
A: A spelling bee!

what are you doing?

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a grasshopper sitting next to him. “Are you a grasshopper?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes.” “What are you doing at the movies?” The grasshopper replied, “Well, I liked the book.

Cristmas is coming

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
A : He looks at his calen-“deer”!

Women call a frog

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A :What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Q :Lilly.

Chickens foot

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the piece of gum cross the road?
A: Because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot.

it all happened so fast

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (6 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
Loading...

A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day. A gang of snails approach him and beat him up for 7 hours. He is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises. Several hours later, he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station. Herman walks into the Sergeant’s office. “What happened to you? the officer asks. “A gang of snails beat me up,” Herman replied. “Can you describe what they looked like?” “I don’t know,” the sloth says. “It all happened so fast.”

A battered puss

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a deep fried platypus?
A: A battered-pus

grape under porcupine

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the grape say when the Porcupine stood on it? A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Dino-Store

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Where did Velociraptor buy things?
A: At a dino-store!

Stinky winkey donkey

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye while breaking wind ? A:
A stinkey winkey wonkey donkey

Raccoon stand on it

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the grape say when the Raccoon stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

They have Big fingers

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: They have big fingers.

Shell-arious ones

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What kind of jokes do sea turtles tell?
A: Shell-arious ones!

Find somewhere else to sleep

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ?
A: Find somewhere else to sleep!

Different between OJ simpson

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What’s the difference between OJ Simpson and the Sharks?
A: OJ Simpson had a more credible defence…

Hamster upset with his job

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :Why was the Hamster upset with his job?
A: It didn’t pay enough salary (celery).

Santa’s Reindeer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?
A : “Rude”-olph!

Dinosaur slept all day

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Which dinosaur slept all day ?
A: The dino-snore!

At the Spawn shop

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Where do you get frogs eggs?
A :At the spawn shop!

Its whale Of a Tale

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Have you heard of Flight of the Penguins (sequel to March)?
A: Its a whale of a tale

Pride of Giraffe

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
A: It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

Long Turtle

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (9 votes, average: 1.56 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a turtle with 6 feet?
A: A 6-foot turtle.

Chicks to talk

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
A: Because talk is cheep!

They beat eggs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why don’t chickens like people?
A: They beat eggs!

Rabbit wearing Glasses

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A: Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses!

Owl invite his friend

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the Owl invite his friends over?
A: He didn’t want to be Owl by himself.

Pony spayed

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

There was this young filly whose owners decided to have her “fixed.” The stallion next door was heartbroken, as he’d always wanted to mate with her. He pined for her constantly. Moral of the Story? “A pony spayed is a pony yearned.”

Take me to your litter

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did the alien say to the cat?
A: Take me to your litter.

Donkey that can go

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a Donkey that can go 0-40 in 3.4 seconds?
A: Fibergl-ass

To prove his Possum

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the Koala cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Bugs Bunny !

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross an insect and a rabbit?
A: Bugs Bunny!

Out oh the way

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes?
A: Out of the way!

Plug its nose

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do you make a skunk stop smelling?
A: Plug up its nose!

Cross gator and Poison Frog

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What do you get when you cross a gator and a poison frog?
A :A croakadile.

600 Pound Gorilla

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q:What do you feed a 600 pound Gorilla?
A:Anything it wants!

Blubbering Gum

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What did the shark say to the whale?
A: What are you blubbering about?

Cow laughs to hard

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What happens when a cow laughs too hard?
A: It Cowlapses!

Lawn moo-er

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A :A lawn moo-er.

California ferret

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How many California ferret owners does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Thousands. First they have to write to their representatives, educate others, obtain support, etc. then have a bill proposal pass through various committees before the government will allow the bulb to be changed.

Terrified postman

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?
A: A terrified postman!

Frog in bathtub

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A : A rubbit!

Caught peepin

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: He got caught peeping on a test.

Four Skin Divers

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do you circumsize a whale?
A: You send down four-skin divers.

Avagadro is so rich

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why is Avogadro so rich?
A: He’s a multi-mole-ionare!

Blind Jockey in a race

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

blind jockey

A jockey is about to enter an race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘ALLLLEEE OOOP!’ really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do that, you’ll be fine.”

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer’s ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers “Aleeee ooop” in the horse’s ear. The same thing happens – the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, “It’s no good, I’ll have to do it,” and yells, “ALLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.

The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, “Nothing is wrong with me – it’s this bloody horse. What is he – deaf or something?”

The trainer replies, “Deaf? Deaf?! He’s not deaf. He’s blind!” 😀 😀

Baby Giraffes

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do giraffes have that no one else has?
A: Baby giraffes!

Do sitting on Rabbit

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit?
A: A chili dog on a bun!

Evaporated milk

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What does an invisible man drink?
A: Evaporated milk!

Anywhere he wants too

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Where does a tiger sleep?
A: Anywhere he wants to!

In tha pasture

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Where do you put 2 horses that just broken up?
A: In the pasture

Firen from hi job

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
A: He would only do the BEAR minimum.

splatter pus

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a Platypus and a Steamroller?
A: Splatterpus

Alchoholic badger

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A man and his pet badger walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my badger.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the badger falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a badger.”

Bullshit

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What family does Maiasaur belong to?
A: I don’t think any families in our neighborhood have one!

Long distance

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ?
A: Long distance!

Tiger lily

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What is the fiercest flower in the garden?
A: A tiger lily!

Call group of chicken

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A: A Hensemble.

Shark Hudson

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Who is the shark communitys favorite 1950s film actor
A: Shark Hudson

Peanut better type

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ?
A: A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!

Avagadro love to mash

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Avogadro loved to watch MASH. Which character did he like most?
A: Father Molecahy

Sir???

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What do you call a hamster that can pick up an elephant ?
A: Sir!

Cross polar bear with seal

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal?
A: A polar bear.

Gorilla with Machine

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s black and dangerous and lives in a tree?
A: A gorilla with a machine gun.

T-rex cross road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the t-rex cross the road?
A: Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet

Goat With Beer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What do you call a goat with a beard?
A :Goatee!

sir?

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q. What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot?
A. Sir.

Shark make the best

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What kind of sharks make the best pog players?
A: Slammerheads!

Spastic Goat

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What do you call a spastic goat?
A :Billy the kid.

Toad die

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :How did the toad die?
A :He simply croaked!

Drinking crazy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A man and his pet seagull walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my seagull.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the seagull falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a seagull.”

Box of quackers

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a crate of ducks?
A: A box of quackers

Stegosaurus

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels?
A: A Stegosaurus on roller skates!

Stork stand on one leg

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why does a stork stand on one leg?
A: Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

Talkin Owl

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s more amazing than a talking Owl?
A: A spelling bee!

one night challenge for man

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should’ve known… ONLY women would be able to drag a fat jolly old man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Big Fingers

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers!

Hopthalmologist

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Did you hear about the frog with glasses?
A :He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.

Cross a shark

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if you cross a shark with a Rottweiler?
A: An abomination unto God Himself

Dancing sheep

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a dancing sheep?
A: A baa-lerina!

End of the rainbow

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Where do frogs keep their treasure?
A :In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow!

Reindeer with three eyes

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q : What do you call a reindeer with three eyes?
A : Reiiindeer

Dusky husky

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a black Eskimo dog?
A: A dusky husky!

On the Rocks

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do Penguins drink their cola?
A: On the rocks.

Platypus in a mood

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
Loading...

The platypus went into a bar. He bought two sodas. “That’ll be $2.50, please” said the bartender. “Just put it on my bill” said the platypus.

Prince and her paw parr

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What is a cats favorite book?
A: The prince and the paw-purr.

Coop- cakes

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
A: Coop-cakes!

Tired to fired

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Did you hear about the man who tried to feed a bear an Apple?
A: It didn’t bear fruit.

Stable tennis

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is a young Colts favorite sport?
A: Stable Tennis.

Cute Bunch of Cows

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. “What a cute bunch of cows!” she remarked. “Not a bunch, herd”, her friend replied. “Heard of what?” “Herd of cows.” “Of course I’ve heard of cows.” “No, a cow herd.” “What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!”

Reindeer wera fur coats

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : Why do reindeer wear fur coats?
A : Because they would look silly in plastic macs!

lazy platypus

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 2.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the platypus catch the bus?
A: Because he didn’t want to walk.

World Weakest Animal

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Whats the world weakest animal?
A :A toad, he croaks if you even touch him!

lazy workers :D

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb?
A : Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down!

Camel most useful Animal

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

This general in the Foreign Legion is transferred to a new fort, and half way through his tour of the place, he spots a mangey old camel tied up at the back of the fort. He turns to the corporal: “What in God’s name do you use that for?”, he asks. The corporal replies “Well, sir, there are a lot of men, and now and then, they become, shall we say, horny….” “Ah, yes, yes, I understand. Fine, move on” About 6 weeks later, the general wakes up feeling so horny, he’d get up on the crack of dawn and calls the corporal. “Bring me to the camel” says he. The corporal does, and once at the camel, he makes it stand up, and places a stool behind it. With that, the general stands on the stool, takes out Mr Floppy and inserts it into the camel. He then proceeds to give it the ride of its life. Having finished, he puts away his equipment, and looks proudly at the corporal. “Well”, he says, “is that the way you men do it around here?” “Er…no, sir”, replies the corporal, “We normally just use the camel to ride to the nearest brothel.”

Kong-vict

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q:What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner?
A: A Kong-vict!

Leap year

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What is a frogs favorite time?
A :Leap Year!

Dear calls hunters

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do deers call hunters?
A: Doe foes.

Cat in a station wagon

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a cat in a station wagon?
A: A car-pet

Sitting your school desk

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What should you do if you find a gorilla sitting at your school desk?
A: Sit somewhere else!

Elephant creeping out

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night?
A :Russell!

By e-mole

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How does Avogadro write to his friends?
A: By e-mole!

Fast food

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What does a cat call a hummingbird?
A: Fast food.

Lollihops :D

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s a toads favorite sweet?
A: Lollihops!

Bluebird

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a sad bird?
A: A bluebird!

Little of mittens

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
A: She had a litter of mittens.

Tea Cow

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call animal drinking with Justin Timberlake?
A: TEA COW!

Gorilla playing quiddtich

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a gorilla playing quidditch?
A: A hairy potter!!

Otter is much better than pizza

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (6 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What’s the difference between a pizza and an otter?
A: A pizza doesn’t scream when you put it in the oven.

Dog’s wag their tails

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why do dogs wag their tails?
A: “Because no one else will do it for them!”

Little boy on Donkey

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

donkey_dead

An old man and a little boy on a donkey were on their way into town. They passed by a group of people who said, “What a shame for that old man to be walking while that perfectly able-bodied boy rides that donkey.” So the boy got off the donkey and the old man got on. They later passed by some more people who said,” Why should that little boy have to walk when they have a donkey to ride on. So the little boy got on the donkey and they both rode it. After a while, they passed some more people. They overheard the people say, “That poor donkey must be wore out from carrying both of them.” So the little boy and old man picked up the donkey and started to carry it. They were carrying the donkey across a bridge. The weight of the donkey became just too unbearable and slipped from their grasp and went over the side of the bridge into the water and drowned. The moral of the story is: If You Try To Please Everyone You’ll Eventually Lose Your ASS!

I’m Saying Grace

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

An Arctic explorer came face to face with a polar bear. Afraid of being eaten, he fell to his knees and started praying. When the polar bear knelt down beside him and started praying too, the man shouted, “It’s a miracle!” The polar bear opened one eye and said “Don’t talk while I’m saying grace.”

Prefer a cat dialogue

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why don’t cats like online shopping?
A: They prefer a cat-alogue.

Owl City

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Where do you go for a good time?
A: Owl City.

Rubs its legs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q:What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together?
A: Chimney Cricket!

Feet are Saurus

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with high heels?
A: My-feet-are-saurus

Owl owling

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the owl, owl?
A: Because the woodpecker would peck ‘er!

Porcupine with carrot

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call an Porcupine with a carrot in each ear? A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

Monkey go to drink

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Where do monkeys go to drink?
A: The monkey bars!

End of th window

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Where do toads keep their treasure?
A: In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow!

are you mad?

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Where do seagulls invest their money?
A: In the stork market!

The Bear Hug

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?
A :The bear hug!

Dinosaur lost his glasses

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses?
A: uthinkhesawrus

Platypus learning new language

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: When does a platypus go “moo”?
A: When it is learning a new language!

Do you like whales

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Do you like whales?
A : Cause we can go hump back at my place.

Lamb play outside

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why couldn’t the little lamb play outside?
A: It was being baaaaaaaad!

sloth stand on grapes

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the grape say when the sloth stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Plant a frog

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What do you get when you plant a frog?
A :A cr-oak tree.

Greys moves fastly

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What’s grey and moves at a hundred miles an hour?
A :A jet propelled elephant!

Middle of dinosaur

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is in the middle of dinosaurs ?
A: The letter “s”!

Talk to a cow

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What happens when you talk to a cow?
A: It goes in one ear and out the udder!

Need a Bigger condom

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the teenage sharks say when they were having sex?
A: “we’re going to need a bigger condom!”

Whale of tale

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :How do you make a Gorilla laugh?
A :Tell it a whale of a tale!

Pleased to eat you now

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
A: ‘Pleased to eat you.’!

Hot croaka!

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What do frogs drink?
A :Hot croako!

Chicken wear Pants

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why don’t chickens wear pants?
A: There peckers on their face.

Camel Teaches Llama

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the camel say to the llama?
A: Let me teach you how to spit.

Made out of leather

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why are cows so soft?
A: Because they are made out of leather.

Enough Bytes

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 2.75 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What’s the similarity between a Alligator and Windows?
A: Neither of them has enough bytes!

Barn so noisy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why is a barn so noisy?
A: All the cows have horns.

Dinosaur never gives up

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A: Try-Try-Try-ceratops !

Star warts

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
A: Star Warts!

Moody Cow

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
A: An animal that’s in a baaaaaaaad moooooood.

Q: What did one chicken say to

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
A: “You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”

Raining cats and dogs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

gif-hamster-1809066

 

 

 

 

 

Q :When do hamsters run away from rain?
A: When its raining cats and dogs!

elephant

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a platypus that can pick up an elephant ?
A: Sir!

Eggs-plodes

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What happens when you drop a hand gren-egg?
A: It eggs-plodes!

Dino mite

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you put a bomb and a dinosaur together?
A: Dino-mite.

Farmer like a maigcian

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: When is a farmer like a magician?
A: When he turns his cow into pasture.

Tea Rex

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do you ask a dinosaur to lunch?
A: Tea Rex?

Nuts and Bolts

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
A: To get down to the nuts and bolts.

Alligators does Tricks

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 2.25 out of 5)
Loading...

A guy walks into a bar with a crocodile. The bartender goes, “You can’t bring that animal in here!” But the guy says, “Hey, he does tricks. Watch!” He taps on the crocodile’s head, and the beast opens its mouth. The guy unzips his pants, whips out his vulnerable member, and puts it in the crocodile’s mouth. Then he taps on the crocodile’s head again, and the beast closes its mouth. Everyone in the bar is aghast. The guy gets his penis out, and he goes, “I’ll give 100 bucks to anyone who can do that.” Everyone is really, really quiet. Suddenly, a drunk shouts, “I… I think I can do that. But I don’t think I can leave my mouth open that long!”

Hare cut of rabbit

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call an operation on a rabbit?
A: A hare-cut.

Ugly boy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a bb gun in one hand and a grasshopper in the other. “Now Listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy. “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”

blind reindeer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : What do you call a blind reindeer?
A : No eye deer (no idea)

Evening mews

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is the cat’s favorite TV show?
A: The evening mews!

Sir loin

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a cow with full armor?
A: Sir loin

ugly little boy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
Loading...

A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a bb gun in one hand and a platypus in the other. “Now Listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy. “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”

Owls serves hot Wings

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call an Owl that serves hot wings?
A: Hooters.

Shark favourite doustin

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is a sharks favorite Dustin Hoffman Film
A: Midnight Caudal

Crocodile like to drink

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 1.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do yuppie crocodiles like to drink
A: Jaw-va

Dog with no legs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter…. he’s not going to come anyway.

High Bollocks

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What’s the difference between a tractor and a giraffe?
A: One has hydrolics and the other has high bollocks

Wear Sunglasses

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses to the Christmas party?
A : Because he didn’t want to be recognised!

Horse lives next door

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A: A neigh-bor!

New to the Area

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
A :Because he was newt to the area!

chiropractor

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did Avogadro stop going to a chiropractor on October 24th?
A: He was only tense to the 23rd!

Striped Zebra

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: If a quadruped has four legs and a biped has two legs, what is a zebra?
A: A stri-ped.

Polar fixed his teeths

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 2.33 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the polar bear eat after the dentist fixed its tooth?
A: The dentist.

Both have big memories

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :How are elephants and computers similar?
A :They both have big memories.

Mooooved to tear

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a sad cow?
A: Mooooved to tears.

Purr-verted

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a cat that can’t stop licking itself?
A: Purrr-verted.

Otter get into honest buisness

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How does an otter get into an honest business?
A: Usually through the skylight.

George Washington

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What did George Washington have to do with Gorillas?
A : As little as possible, dummy!

Giraffe snots

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Whats green and hangs from trees?
A: Giraffe snot.

foolish

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why is it better to be a grasshopper than a cricket?
A: Because grasshoppers can play cricket but crickets can’t play grasshopper!

Elk a seltzer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy?
A : “Elk”-a-seltzer!

Because he has sandy claws

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why is the desert lion everyone’s favorite at Christmas?
A: Because he has sandy claws!

A little wine

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the grape say when the hippopotamus stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Lion that swam underwater

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?
A: ‘Claws.’

Ferret crossing road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the ferret cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Egg cross the road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How did the egg cross the road?
A: It scrambled across!

Falling down

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Why did the elephants get kicked out of the pool?
A :Because their trunks kept on falling down.

Horse Cross the road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the horse cross the road?
A: Because somebody shouted hay!

hippcratic Oath

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do you make sure a hippo is telling you the truth?
A: Make him take the Hippocratic Oath.

milk to babay

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : When should you give reindeer milk to a baby?
A: When its a baby reindeer!

Avagadro in bed

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
A: Moleonucleosis

Crossing the road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the Raccoon cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Double crosser

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
A: He was a double-crosser!

Baaa boon

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What animal sounds like a sheep but isn’t?
A: A baaaa-boon!

Tiger and a snow man

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman?
A: Frost-bite!

Parrot flew away

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a parrot that flew away?
A: A polygon

Prove its possum

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (5 votes, average: 2.60 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the otter cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Enormous holes

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q. What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops?
A. Enormous holes in the base boards.

Horses bad manners

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the horse eat with its mouth open?
A: Because it had bad stable manners!

Bunny cross the road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the bunny cross the road?
A: He wanted to prove he could hip hop!

Owls are Clever then chicken

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do you know that owls are cleverer than chickens?
A: Have you ever heard of Kentucky-fried owl!

Udder Failure

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: An udder failure.

Bombshell outside

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call the outside of a hand gren-egg?
A: The bombshell!

Bluberring about

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What did the shark say to the whale?
A :What are u blubbering about?

Dogs with no legs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter…. he’s not going to come anyway.

Dirty double crosser

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again?
A :  A dirty double-crosser!

Dog sits on his chair

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why wouldn’t the dog sit on his chair?
A: Because he left his sheet[shit] on there.

mic needle

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do you inoculate a hippo?
A: With a hippodermic needle.

Do-you-think-he-saw-us

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A: Doyouthinkhesawus

One Tought Nut

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why couldn’t the squirrel eat the macadamia nut?
A: It was one tough nut to crack.

Pain in the ass

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when a donkey eats a porcupine?
A: A pain in the ass.

Pasta to cow

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you give pasta to a cow?
A: Beefaroni.

Laughing Stock

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
A: Laughing stock

Wears big and grey masks

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
A :The elephantom of the opera!

Cow walking backwards

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A: A cow walking backwards!

Cow cross the road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.

Grasshopper

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a grasshopper walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the grasshopper’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the grasshopper. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

Roaster doo something

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the rooster cross the road?
A: To cockadoodle dooo something!

Please hop on!

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did the bus conductor say to the toad?
A: Hop on!

Cinderelephant

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What’s grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
A :Cinderelephant!

Alligators like to drink

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (5 votes, average: 1.80 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do yuppie alligators like to drink
A: Jaw-va

lemur learning language

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: When does a Lemur go “roarrrr”?
A: When it is learning a new language!

Female Squirrel

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a squirrel with no nuts?
A: Female Squirrel.

Dino – sewer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Who makes dinosaur clothes?
A: dino-sewer.

Sid Travelling Down

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Sid was travelling down a country road in his native Yorkshire, England when he saw a crowd of people gathering outside a farmhouse.Prize Donkey Joke
It was a cold November afternoon, so he stopped and asked Farmer Ellis why such a large crowd of men was gathered there.
The farmer replied, ‘Jo’s donkey kicked his mother-in-law and she died.’
‘Well, ‘replied the man, ‘She must have had a lot of friends.’
‘Nope, ‘said Farmer Ellis.’ We all just want to buy his donkey.’

Slow Swimmers

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call the stuff between a shark’s teeth?
A: Slow Swimmers.

Cougars favourite

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What is cougar’s favorite food ?
A: Baked beings !

Act like Chestnut

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 2.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do you catch a squirrel with a Katy Perry fixation?
A: Climb a tree and act like a chestnut.

Owl with a carrot

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a Owl with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

Call a dog magician

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a dog magician?
A: A labracadabrador.

Drinking whole night

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A man and his pet ferret walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my ferret.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the ferret falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a ferret.”

Tell a runaway horse

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?
A: A tale of WHOA!

Llama spirtual leader

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Who is the llama spiritual leader?
A: The Dalai Llama

Policeman caught Nasty Boy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
Loading...

A policeman caught a nasty little Australian boy with a BB gun in one hand and a koala in the other. “Now Listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy. “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”

Slide down the banana ster

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do monkeys get down the stairs?
A: They slide down the banana-ster!

Chicken go to KFC

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the chicken go to KFC?
A: He wanted to see a chicken strip.

Happy polar bears

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What has four legs and a flipper?
A: A happy polar bear!

Rottweiller in Cenima

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Where does a Rottweiller sit in the cinema?
A: Anywhere it wants to!

Women need in her life

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What 4 animals does a woman need in her life?
A: A mink on her back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in her bed and a jackass to pay for it all.

Platypus took little wine

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the grape say when the platypus stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

lions birhtday party

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A student named Jacob was sitting in class one day and the teacher walked by and he asked her “How do you put an elephant in the fridge?” The teacher said “I don’t know, how?” Jacob then said “You open the door and put it in there!” Then Jacob asked the teacher another question “How do you put a sloth in the fridge?” The teacher then replied “Ohh I know this one, you open the door and put it in there?” Jacob said “No, you open the door, take the elephant out, and then you put it in there.” Then he asked another question…”All the animals went to the lions birthday party, except one animal, which one was it?” The teacher a bit confused and said “The lion?” Then the student said “No,the sloth because he’s still in the fridge.” then he asked her just one more question….”If there is a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to get across it,how would you” The teacher then says “You would walk over the bridge.” Then Jacob says “No, you would swim across because all the crocodiles are at the lions birthday party!” She laughs and walks away.

Alligator up on the bar

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons.

“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He’ll then open his mouth, and I’ll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.”

The crowd murmurs their approval. The man stands up on the bar, drops his trousers, and places his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator closes his mouth as the crowd gasps. After a minute, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top its head. The gator opens his mouth, and the man removes his genitals, unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and he receives the first of his free drinks.

The man stands up again and makes another offer: “I’ll pay anyone $100 who’s willing to give it a try.”

A hush falls over the crowd. A moment later, a hand goes up in the back of the bar.

“I’ll try,” says a small woman, “but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle.”