Frogs wear

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Q :What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
A :Open toad!

Buy Sharks on wall streets

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Q: Where can you buy sharks on Wall Street?
A: At the shark (stock) market, of course!

One hump at a time

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Q: How do you have sex with a camel?
A: One hump at a time.

Two Hunters

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Two hunters decide to go moose hunting in Canada. They hire an airplane to drop them off in a remote region. The pilot drops them off and tells them, “I`ll be back in one week. No more than one moose – got it?” One week passes, and the pilot returns. The hunters have two moose. The pilot says, “Hey, I told you guys no more than one moose.” One of the hunters replies, “Look the pilot told us the same thing last year and we gave him a `big` tip to take both moose out.” The three of them argue for several minutes more. The pilot gives up and agrees to take both moose. Well, they load up the moose and fire up the plane. The plane shudders and strains trying to take off. It finally gets the wheels off the ground 5 feet, 10 feet. Whoops! It runs out of runway and smashes into a tree. The two hunters, dazed and confused make there way out of the wreckage. One hunter looks at the other and says, “Where the heck are we?” The other looks around and replies, “About 200 yards further than we got last year!”

Enormous holes

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Q. What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops?
A. Enormous holes in the base boards.

Stupid one !

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Q : What’s black and white and green?
A : A frog sitting on a newspaper.

Shakespare said !

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Q: What line from Shakespeare do high school moles have to memorize?
A: “To mole or not to mole, this is the question.”

Hamster sandwitch

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Q :What’s gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside?
A: A hamster sandwich!

Curiosity killed the cat

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Q: Did you hear about the cat who wanted a dog to teach her how to bark?
A: Curiousity killed the cat.

Gallery of Cows

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Q: What do you find a gallery of cows?
A: The mooseum.

Crocodile favourtie drink

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Q: What is a crocodile’s favorite drink?
A: Gator-ade.

Reindeer wera fur coats

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Q : Why do reindeer wear fur coats?
A : Because they would look silly in plastic macs!

Fast food is so fast

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Q: Why don’t polar bears like fast food?
A: Because they can’t catch it!

Play cards in Jungle

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Q: Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
A: There are too many cheetahs there!

Mailman is my Father :(

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One day, a father and his daughter are together. The father is putting the daughter to sleep. After the father leaves, he hears her saying her prayers. He hears her say, ” God bless mommy, daddy, and grandma, rest in peace grandpa. The father hears all of this and barges back into the room. He asks her, ” Why did you say the last part? ” The daughter replies, ” Because I needed to. ” The next day, grandpa dies. The father thinks, ” Is this just a coincidence? ”
That night he tucks her daughter into bed. He leaves the room to only hear her prayers again. He hears, ” Bless mommy and daddy, rest in peace grandma. ” The father now is thinking, ” Holy shit, my daughter can see into the future? ” The next day, grandma dies. A week later nothing happens, but the night before Sunday, he is tucking his daughter into bed once more. He leaves and listens for any more prayers. Sure enough, there is another prayer. He hears, ” Bless you mommy, rest in peace daddy. ” The father starts panicking and saying, ” Holy shit! I’m going to die tomorrow! ” The following start of the next day consisted the father being alert all the time, checking the clock, looking around the room, etc. He goes to work to do the same things, being alert, all of that. He looks at the clock again 3 hours later. It’s past midnight. The father says, ” How is this possible? I should be dead! ” He goes home and finds his wife on the couch with a scared look on her face. She asks, ” What took you so long!? ” The father says, ” Listen honey, today I haven’t had the best of days. ” Then as soon as he is about to tell what happened, she bursts out, ” I saw the mailman die yesterday! ”

Make Forg Legs

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Q :How do you make frog legs?
A :In a croak=pot.

Udder-catastrophe

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Q: What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence
A: Udder-Catastrophe

Say to tha puppy

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Q: What did the skeleton say to the puppy?
A: bonappetite

Horses go when they sick

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Q: Where do horses go when they’re sick?
A: The horsepital!

Call a monkey with banana

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Q: What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
A: Anything you want, it can’t hear you!

Elephant creeping out

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Q :What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night?
A :Russell!

Baboom

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Q: What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A: Baboom!

Milk shake

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Q: What do you call an arab next to a cow?
A: Milk Sheikh!

Elephant with Rhino

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Q :What do you get when you mix an elephant with a rhino?
A :Elephino. (HEll if I know)

Cute Tadpole

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Q: What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A: A tadpole!

Tiger with a snowman

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Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
A: Frostbite!

At the Spawn shop

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Q :Where do you get frogs eggs?
A :At the spawn shop!

Pious cowboy

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The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the savannah. Three weeks later, a Lemur walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the Lemures mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the Lemur. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

Slide down the banana sitter

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Q: How do gorillas get down the stairs?
A: They slide down the banana-ster!

Bronoto swore us

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Q: What do you call a dinosaur with a foul mouth?
A: Bronto-swore-us.

are you mad

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Q : Which reindeer have the shortest legs?
A : The smallest ones!

Golden reciever

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Q: What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?
A: A golden receiver!