hitchicking toad

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you say to a hitchhiking toad?
A: Hop in!

Shark cross the road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the shark cross the road?
A: To get to the other tide!

Chicken cross the road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road half way?
A: He wanted to lay it on the line!

A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (10 votes, average: 2.90 out of 5)
Loading...

A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said, it was his mission.
He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, “Now that’s addition.”

In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, “Now that’s subtraction.”

Boy-and-girl-kissing

Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation.
And both together smiled and said, “That’s multiplication.”

Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.
He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, “That’s long division!”

Green Pistachio Nuts

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do you catch an Irish squirrel?
A: Climb a tree and act like a green pistachio nut.

Grab a Bite

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
A: Do you want to grab a bite?

Abrahmster lincoln

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What do you call a hamster with a top hat?
A: Abrahamster Lincoln

Stand up comedy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why doesn’t anybody like the stand-up comedy of Margaret Shark? A: She bites!

Elephant claus

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q:Who do elephants get their christmas presents from?
A: Elephanta Claus!

Homework is at home

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 1.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Me: should I get into trouble for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: No
Me: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.

Sheep takes a bath

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Where do sheeps take a bath?
A: In a baaaa-th tub!

Mole finance their homes

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do moles finance their homes?
A: With a molergage!

Love shark

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What was the sharks favorites song
A: Love Shark

He had little Ape-tude

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :Why did the Gorilla fail English?
A : He had little Ape-titude!

Preferred Frogs car

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Whats the preferred car of frogs?
A :The Beetle.

Dino-saw

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use?
A: A dino-saw !

Saint Cowboy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a ferret walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the ferret’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the ferret. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

Hare -raising tail

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the rabbit like the adventure?
A: It was a “hare-raising tail”

Tweeting on test

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

Raining cats and dogs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What happens when a dog chases a cat into a geysur?
A: It starts raining cats and dogs.

Law of gravity

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the bird get a ticket?
A: It broke the law of gravity!

Cow can cut the grass

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a cow that can cut the grass?
A: Mulan.

Sheeps are such a bad drivers

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why are sheep baaaaaad drivers?
A: They always make illegal ewe turns.

Sheep with no legs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A: A cloud.

man with cliff

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a man with seagull on his head?
A: Cliff

Potty-pus

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 1.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a toilet and a platypus?
A: A potty-pus

A grow

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call an owl with a deep voice?
A: A growl!

Hare dryer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a leaf blower?
A: A hare dryer!

Zebra black and White peace

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What is black and white and eats like a horse?
A: A zebra.
I suppose when you’ve seen one lion catch a zebra, you’ve seen a maul.

Intelligent Grape

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did the grape say when the ferret stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Pony sleigh

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : What does Rudolph want for Christmas?
A : A pony sleigh station!

Call9 9 rabbits

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call 99 rabbits stepping backwards?
A: A receding hare line!

Bunny Rabit

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A :A bunny ribbit.

Bullogna

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
A: Bullogna

Scotish toads play

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do Scottish toads play?
A: Hop-scotch!

Deviled Eggs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter?
A: Deviled eggs!

Ten pounds difference

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Whats the difference between your mom and an African Elephant?
A :Ten pounds.

Cougar croosed the road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the cougar cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Polar bear into refrigerator

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do you put a polar bear into a refrigerator?
A: It’s easy – just open the door. Polar bears like cold places.

Penguins in Desert

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a penguin in the desert?
A: Lost!

Missed match socks

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a mismatched pair of socks in the wash?
A: Evidence.

I like your thinking

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (20 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)
Loading...

A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?” She calls on little Mark.

He replies, “None , they will all fly away with the first gunshot.”
The teacher replies, “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”

Then little Mark says, “I have a question for YOU. ”
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.

Which one is married?

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, Continue reading

Card shark

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What kind of shark is always gambling?
A: A CARDSHARK

Mcdonald’s run out of Chicken

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did McDonald’s run out of chicken McNuggets?
A: The farmer counted his chickens before they hatched.

Credit Card

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do you stop a bull from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!

Farmer become school teacher

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?
A: So he could grade his eggs

Light at night

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A: A tiger moth!

British sharks want to eat

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do British sharks like to eat?
A: Fish and kids!

Penguin In a Gas station

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. While doing thisthe clerk spots two penguins sitting on the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, “What’s up with the penguins in the back seat?” The man in the car says, “I found them. I asked myself what to do with them but, I haven’t a clue.” The clerk ponders a bit then says, “You should take them to the zoo.” “Yeah, that’s a good idea,” says the man in the car and drives away. The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car. “Hey, they’re still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo!” “Oh, I did,” says the driver, “and we had a great time. Today I’m taking them to the beach.”

Bihari in college

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Subject: A class in Bihar College This is a true incident which happened in a college: A new lecturer (also a Bihari professor) was unable to control the class. The guys were just talking without giving any attention to him. So he wanted to send a guy who was creating most of the problem out. But he doesn’t know how to put it in English. He went near the guy. Shouted “follow me” .The guy followed him till he went out of the class. Now the lecturer turned back and again shouted “Don’t follow me” and went inside the class……..
Bihari Professor.
Inside the Class:
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves -take the bigger half.
Shhh…Quiet, boys…the principal just passed away in the corridor.
You, meet me behind the class.
Both of you three, get out of the class.
Close the doors of the windows please .. I have winter in my nose today…
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver…..
Take 5 cm wire of any length….

poor skunk

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay, the skunk didn’t have a scent, the deer didn’t have a buck, so they put the meal on the duck’s bill.

Teacher

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Once a teacher was teaching the children about stripes animal. Teacher:Aisha stand up and tell me any two names of striped animals. Aisha:Zebra. Teacher:Very good now tell the other name! Aisha:Another zebra.

Koalifications

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why isn’t the the koala a real bear?
A: He doesn’t have the right koalifications.

Marsh-mole ows

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
A: Marsh-mole-ows!

policeman caught nasty boy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a bb gun in one hand and a ferret in the other. “Now Listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy. “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”

Crocodile in vest

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call an crocodile in a vest?
A: An investigator.

Milk shake

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call an arab next to a cow?
A: Milk Sheikh!

Grasshover

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q:What do you call a grasshopper with no legs?
A:A grasshover!

Clucl o the irish

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
A: The Cluck o’the Irish!

I liked the books

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a ferret sitting next to him. “Are you a ferret?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes.” “What are you doing at the movies?” The ferret replied, “Well, I liked the book.

Long heaird hippo

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a long haired hippo?
A: A hippy

horn-aments

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
A : “Horn”-aments!

Donkey Auction

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get cross an optimetrist convention and a donkey auction?
A: Two eyegl-asses for the price of one.

Censorerd fun

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 1.25 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call the loose skin around the vagina?
A: An otter

What Does He do?

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ”How much is the yellow one?” The assistant says, ” 2000.” The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it’s so expensive. The assistant explains, ”This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.” ”What about the green one?” the man asks. The assistant says, ”He costs 5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.” ”What about the red one?” the man asks. The assistant says, ”That one’s 10,000.” The man says, ”What does HE do?” The assistant says, ”I don’t know, but the other two call him boss.

Penguins In Revolving Door

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What’s black and white and goes round and around?
A: A Penguin in a revolving door.

Anywhere wants to

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Where does a cougar sleep?
A: Anywhere he wants to!

Cross cat with Owl

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a cat and an owl?
A: Meowls.

Like A coconut

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
A: Climb a tree and act like a coconut.

The Law Of The Jungle

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What does a Gorilla attorney study?
A :The Law of the jungle!

How many arms Alligators have

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How many arms has a alligator got?
A: Depends how far he has got with eating his dinner!

I have sipt in this beer, do not drink

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (6 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
Loading...

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the toilet.

Drink-at-bar

He doesn’t want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, “I have sipt in this beer, do not drink!”.

After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, “So did I!”

Bihari Headache :D

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
Loading...

A Bihari after coming back from a three hour long class says “Saala pura body headache maar raha hai “

my wife smells nasty

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A guy brings a Lemur home , tells his wife it’s a pet. She asks , “Where are you going to keep it?” He repies , “In the bedroom.” “But what about that horrible nasty smell?’ , she asks. “I got used to you , I’m sure he will too!”

Frogs favourite place

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What is a frogs favorite place to eat?
A :At ihop!

Cristmias trees

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? “Horn”-aments!

Cow stop to drink

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Where does a cow stop to drink?
A: The milky way!

Chicken Crosses the road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Gorilla riding down

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What’s black, brown and white, black, brown and white, brown and white, etc.?
A: A Gorilla riding down a snowbank!

Call 114 frogs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What do you call 144 frogs in a box?
A :Gross!

Mailman is my Father :(

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...
One day, a father and his daughter are together. The father is putting the daughter to sleep. After the father leaves, he hears her saying her prayers. He hears her say, ” God bless mommy, daddy, and grandma, rest in peace grandpa. The father hears all of this and barges back into the room. He asks her, ” Why did you say the last part? ” The daughter replies, ” Because I needed to. ” The next day, grandpa dies. The father thinks, ” Is this just a coincidence? ”
That night he tucks her daughter into bed. He leaves the room to only hear her prayers again. He hears, ” Bless mommy and daddy, rest in peace grandma. ” The father now is thinking, ” Holy shit, my daughter can see into the future? ” The next day, grandma dies. A week later nothing happens, but the night before Sunday, he is tucking his daughter into bed once more. He leaves and listens for any more prayers. Sure enough, there is another prayer. He hears, ” Bless you mommy, rest in peace daddy. ” The father starts panicking and saying, ” Holy shit! I’m going to die tomorrow! ” The following start of the next day consisted the father being alert all the time, checking the clock, looking around the room, etc. He goes to work to do the same things, being alert, all of that. He looks at the clock again 3 hours later. It’s past midnight. The father says, ” How is this possible? I should be dead! ” He goes home and finds his wife on the couch with a scared look on her face. She asks, ” What took you so long!? ” The father says, ” Listen honey, today I haven’t had the best of days. ” Then as soon as he is about to tell what happened, she bursts out, ” I saw the mailman die yesterday! ”

World without engineers

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (9 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Engineers had made our life very comfortable by using science and technology.
But have u ever imagined what would the world look like without engineers, If not then here r
some of the pics what would our life be like :-

Transportation

Mechanical and automobile engineer

Civil engineer of old age
Continue reading

Afraid of getting toad

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Why didn’t the frog park on the side of the road?
A :He was afraid of getting toad!

Meals on Wheels

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the Polar Bear say when it saw a seal on a skateboard?
A: “Meals on Wheels!”

Squirrel For the Holiday

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do you catch a squirrel for the holidays?
A: Climb a tree and act like nutmeg.

Miss Ape-ril!

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q:How did Gertie Gorilla make the ‘Playboy’ Calendar?
A:She was ‘Miss Ape-ril!’

Teddy bear race

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do you start a teddy bear race?
A: Ready, teddy, go!

Pollunomial Parrots

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a parrot that doesn’t eat?
A: A polynomeal (polynomial)

Gorilla are cheetahs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why don’t the gorillas in the jungle play poker any more?
A: There are just too many Cheetahs.

Baboom

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A: Baboom!

Long back..

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (12 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5)
Loading...

Long back,
A person who sacrificed his sleep,
forgot his family,
forgot his food,
forgot laughter were called “SAINTS”

But now they are called….
….
….
..
..
..
.

it-professional-joke

.
.
.

“IT professionals/ Logistics Professionals”

What rubbish

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s worse than one shark coming to dinner?
A: Two sharks coming to dinner

No Result Found

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a rose?
A: I’m not sure – but I wouldn’t try smelling it!

Elephant with spare parts

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What has 3 tails, 4 trunks and 6 feet?
A :An elephant with spare parts!

Nobody’s herd

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What happened to the lost cattle?
A: Nobody’s herd.

He’s Rabbit fan!

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Does the Easter Bunny like baseball?
A:Oh, yes. He’s a rabbit fan!

Cross Parrot With shark

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: an animal that talks your head off.

Big ho peep

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :Who lost a herd of elephants?
A :Big bo peep!

Tyrannosaurus Flex

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What was the most flexible dinosaur?
A: Tyrannosaurus Flex.

Policeman Give the sheep

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
A: He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

He was Chicken

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the rooster run away?
A: He was chicken!

Brown and white eat hamster

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What is white and brown and eats hamster food?
A: My hamster!

Stupid One

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: When does a giraffe have 8 legs?
A: When there are two of them!

Climb a tree

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do you catch a squirrel interested in ornithology?
A: Climb a tree and act like a nuthatch (Sitta carolinensis).

Billy Idol

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What do you call an unemployed goat?
A :Billy Idol.

Horse and a Chicken

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)
Loading...

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, “I think I can stand over the hole!” So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, “Grab for my penis and pull yourself up.” And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
Moral of the Story: If you’re hung like a horse, you don’t need a BMW to pick up chicks.

Bear Your Heart

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do you apologize to a koala?
A: BEAR your heart and soul.

Mommy sharks and daddy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: why did the mommy shark and daddy shark get divorced
A: they no longer loved each other

Crocodile comedians

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why are crocodiles comedians so funny?
A: Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!

Flying reindeer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : how can Santa’s sleigh possibly fly through the air?
A : You would too if you were pulled by flying reindeer!

Nice Knawing you

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did they llama say to the blade of grass?
A: Nice knawing you!

Let out a little wine

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
A :Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Smoking Cigarette

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q. How do you know when your cat’s done cleaning herself?
A. She’s smoking a cigarette.

Elephant weighs nothing

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
A :Its shadow!

Drizzle bears

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What are polar bears called when they get caught in the rain?
A: Drizzly bears.

Chicken crossed the road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?
A: He was a dirty double crosser!

Sore throat

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A: A Diplodocus with a sore throat!

Spelling bee

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What’s more amazing than a talking hippo?
A: A spelling bee!

Elephants afraid of cheetahs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Why don’t elephants like playing cards in the jungle?
A :Because of all the cheetahs!

Ground beef

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs at all?
A: Ground beef

Mooolasses

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What does a cow put on his french toast?
A: Moooolasses.

Otter knows how to drive ?

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (6 votes, average: 2.83 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: An otter and an otter are in a car, who’s driving?
A: Animal Control

She was a candy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Did you hear about the donkey that was afraid to speak up for herself?
A: She was a candy-ass.

A Polygon

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What figure describes a lost parrot?
A: A polygon!

terrible lawyers

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why do sharks make terrible lawyers?
A: They’re too nice!

Egg crisize

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do chickens get strong?
A: Egg-cersize.

Biharu lalu Yadav decide to learn English

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

So Lalu Yadav finally decides to learn English. An instructor extremely fluent in English is hired for the job.
The instructor fully confident claims that if he is locked up in a room with Lalu for a week he will surely teach him English. So the orderlies lock Lalu and the instructor in a room
When the room is opened after a week the instructor comes out and says .. “Eee Lalua ke angrezi sikhana to bahute mushkil baat ba”

End of Ramadan

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Can I Stay
Here
In
Ur
InbOx
&
Wait Till The End Of Ramzan
So
That
I
Can B
The 1st Who
Wish

A
Very sweet
&
Happy Eid Mubarik

To get other

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Why did the whale cross the road?
A :To get to the other tide!

Stable diet

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why are most horses in shape?
A: Because they are on a stable diet.

Farmers milk them dry

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why don’t cows have any money?
A: Because farmers milk them dry

Pickup your truck

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of badgers. He pulls the guy over and says… “You can’t drive around with badgers in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately.” The guy says “OK”… and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of badgers, and they’re all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands… “I thought I told you to take these badgers to the zoo yesterday?” The guy replies… “I did . . . today I’m taking them to the beach!”

Letter to her friend

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
A: In a HEN-velope!

Nuts Won’t Fit

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why don’t squirrels wear skinny jeans?
A: Because their nuts won’t fit

March Of Penguins

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did Morgan Freeman say when Penguins told him they liked March of the Penguins?
A: Why the hell was I narrating it if Penguins can talk

Somethin about Owl

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Did you hear the one about the owl?
A: It was a hoot.

Shepherd looking for a sheep

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A shepherd was looking for a lost sheep, after a couple hours he found it stuck in some briar bushes and covered with mud. He rescued the sheep. After several slanderous remarks about the muddy dumb sheep, the sheep blurted out, “What are you griping about, I almost drowned in the pond?” Shocked at hearing the Sheep speak, the Shepherd asked the sheep why he was in the pond in the first place, “Don’t you know sheep can’t swim?”, We were not swimming, we were wallowing in mud and I stepped into, a deep hole?” “Who is we?” the Shepherd asked. “Me and the pig?” The sheep replied. “Why on earth would you wallow in mud?” asked the Shepherd. “Well the pig said it would make me cooler, I was getting hot.” The shepherd asked the sheep where the pig was. The sheep replied. “He went back to the barn.” So the Shepherd put the sheep on his shoulders and began his trip back to the barn. He did not own a pig, and he planned to take the pig to task for the mud wallowing incident. The next day the shepherd?s rich neighbor a farmer came by and inquired if the shepherd had seen his pig. Soon the Shepherd began telling the rich farmer about the sheep and pig story, and demanded compensation for the incident caused by the farmer’s pig.” The farmer expressed his doubts to the Shepherd, whereupon the Sheep blurted out “He’s right, it was your pig that did it.” Just then the rich farmer realized that this was a talking sheep. He thought to himself, “I can make millions with a talking sheep. He stopped the discussion and asked if the shepherd would take 500 dollars for the sheep. The shepherd replied that he would consider the sale on an as is basis, no guarantees. The farmer then bought the sheep and the trade was done. The shepherd turned and as he walked away the farmer heard him say “Well that’s one less diseased and dying sheep I have to worry about, Your pig said he was full of shit anyway.”

Got milk?

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did one dairy cow say to another?
A: Got milk?

Gatorade

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (5 votes, average: 3.80 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do alligators drink before a race?
A: Gator-Ade.

Frogs are happy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :Why are frogs so happy?
A :They eat watever bugs them!

smell icopter

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q:What do you call a flying skunk?
A: A smell-icopter.

Barney in an elevator

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s green and purple and goes up and down?
A: Barney in an elevator.

Twelve foot tooth Brush

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedgehog?
A: A twelve-foot toothbrush

Ferret favourite song

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is a ferret’s favorite song?
A: Dook, dook, dook, dook of Earl…

Owl caught in the act

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call an owl caught in the act?
A: Spotted!

Shell Block

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (5 votes, average: 2.80 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
A: To the shell-block.

Two Hunters

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Two hunters decide to go moose hunting in Canada. They hire an airplane to drop them off in a remote region. The pilot drops them off and tells them, “I`ll be back in one week. No more than one moose – got it?” One week passes, and the pilot returns. The hunters have two moose. The pilot says, “Hey, I told you guys no more than one moose.” One of the hunters replies, “Look the pilot told us the same thing last year and we gave him a `big` tip to take both moose out.” The three of them argue for several minutes more. The pilot gives up and agrees to take both moose. Well, they load up the moose and fire up the plane. The plane shudders and strains trying to take off. It finally gets the wheels off the ground 5 feet, 10 feet. Whoops! It runs out of runway and smashes into a tree. The two hunters, dazed and confused make there way out of the wreckage. One hunter looks at the other and says, “Where the heck are we?” The other looks around and replies, “About 200 yards further than we got last year!”

A swell shark

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is the keenest kind of shark?
A: A swellshark!

Giraffe winning a horse race

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A: A longshot.

Skunk with bear

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
A: Winnie the PU!

Neigh buzz

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if you cross a horse with a bee?
A: Neigh buzz

Beef Jerky

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?
A: Beef Jerky

Out of the way

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when a dinosaur blows it’s nose?
A: OUT of the way!!

Leatherback Sec turtle

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (6 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What is a Leatherback Sea Turtles favorite sandwich?
A: Peanut butter and jellyfish.

Unique up on it

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do you catch a unique bird?
A: Unique up on it.

Dinosaur go extinct

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the dinosaurs go extinct?
A: Because they wouldn’t take a bath!

A Guy walks in a bar with his pet Monkey

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking it the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?” The guy says, “No, what?” “He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!”, says the bartender. “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the patron. “He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I’ll pay for the cue ball and stuff.” He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he’s in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now?”, he asks. “Now what?”, responds the patron. “Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!” says the barkeeper. “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the patron. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!”

Curiosity killed the cat

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Did you hear about the cat who wanted a dog to teach her how to bark?
A: Curiousity killed the cat.

Calvin feed hobbes

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What does Calvin feed Hobbes?
A: Nothing he’s already stuffed.

Mooooove Over

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did one cow say to the other?
A: Mooooooove over!

Fleece Navidad!!

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: “Fleece Navidad!”

Decalfenated

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do call a cow that has just had a calf?
A: Decalfenated

moltiplication

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
A: Moletiplication

Non typical white tail

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is the defination of a non-typical Whitetail?
A: One that stays off the Highway!

Larkian agg lagati hain

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Santa : daso kehde office wich ladies kam nahi kar sakdi?

Banta: firebrigade?

Santa: Q ?

Banta: firebrigade da kam aag bhujana hunda hai aag lgana nahi !

Otter with carrot

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (5 votes, average: 3.40 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

Headmaster and Buflings

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?
A: Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth!

Coutnt them all

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds?
A: Yes, 8 Iguanadons and 2 Stegasaurus.

Dino-sewer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ?
A: A dino-sewer !

Bhaiyya g Applied for Engineering Position

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 2.33 out of 5)
Loading...

A bhaiyyaji applied for an engineering position at an office in Uttar Pradesh. Reddy from Chennai applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager.
Upon completion of the test, the results showed that both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to the bhaiyyaji and said, “Thank you for your interest, but we’ve decided to give the job to Reddy.”
Bhaiyyaji: “And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct. This being Uttar Pradesh I should get the job!”
Manager: “We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the one question that you got wrong.”
Bhaiyyaji: “And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?”
Manager: “Simple, for the question that both of you got wrong, Reddy put down ‘I don’t know’ as the answer. And you wrote ‘Neither do I’!”

Blonde Pet zebra

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot!

A Brr-grrr

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do polar bears like to eat in the cold?
A: A “brrr”-“grrr”!

Saturday morning

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

It was Saturday morning and John, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Mary, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage. John asks her, “What are you up to?” Mary smiles, “I’m going hunting with you!” John, though he has many reservations, reluctantly decides to take her along. They arrive at the hunting site. John sets his wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her: “If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I’ll come running back as soon as I hear the shot.” John walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Mary couldn’t bag an elephant — much less a deer. But not 10 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots. Quickly, John starts running back. As John gets closer to her stand, he hears Mary screaming, “Get away from my deer!” Confused, John races faster towards his screaming wife. And again he hears her yell, “Get away from my deer!” followed by another volley of gunfire. Now within sight of where he had left his wife, John is surprised to see a cowboy, with his hands high in the air. The cowboy, obviously distraught, says, “Okay, lady, okay! You can have your deer! Just let me get my saddle off it!”‘

Frogs haven’t so many legs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs?
A :They sit eggsaminations!

Tyrannosaurus want to sit

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay?
A: Anywhere he wants to.

Monkey’s Uncle

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Did you hear about the man who can jump from tree to tree?
A: He was a monkey’s uncle.

Milking stool have

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why does a milking stool have only three legs?
A: Because the cow has the udder

Anything you like..

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q. What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears?
A. Anything you like, he won’t hear you!

Prancer always wet

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : Why is Prancer always wet?
A : Because he’s a “rain”-deer!

Play cards in Jungle

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
A: There are too many cheetahs there!

Raccoon with carrot

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call an Raccoon with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

not good for health

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q : Why is a reindeer like a gossip?
A : Because they are both tail bearers

Baaa-stile day

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call sheep taking over France?
A: Baaaa-stile Day.

Raccon learning new language

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: When does a Raccoon go “moo”?
A: When it is learning a new language!

Rabbit with no hair

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you find a rabbit with no hair?
A: A hairless hare!

Tiger sing at Christmas

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do tigers sing at Christmas?
A: Jungle bells!jungle bells!

Rubbish

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What makes more noise than a dinosaur ?
A: Two dinosaurs !

Man kills a deer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue. Well, he said, ‘It’s what mummy calls me sometimes’. The little girl screams to her brother ‘Don’t eat it, it’s an asshole..

Shark terk

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is a sharks favorite sci-fi show
A: Shark Trek

Three feet of my cock

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q:If you had a donkey and I had a chicken and if your donkey ate my chicken what will you have?
A:Three feet of my cock up your ass.

He’s a Rain -deer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : Why is Prancer always wet?
A : Because he’s a “rain”-deer!

Gazalles

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

What’s red and white and gives presents to gazelles? Santelope!

Mooney

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do cows get when they do all their chores?
A: Mooney.

Rabbit hood

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s the name of the rabbit who stole from the rich and gave to the
A: Rabbit Hood.

Call a Frozen chart

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a frozen dog?
A: A pupsicle.

A mathematician organizes a raffle

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (9 votes, average: 3.11 out of 5)
Loading...

A mathematician organizes a raffle in which the prize is an infinite amount of money paid over an infinite amount of time.

Math-raffle

Of course, with the promise of such a prize, his tickets sell like hot cake. When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the mode of payment:

“1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that…”

Horse say to other horse

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did one horse say to the other horse?
A: The pace is familiar but I can’t remember the mane.

Nasty Wife

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A guy brings a raccoon home , tells his wife it’s a pet. She asks , “Where are you going to keep it?” He repies , “In the bedroom.” “But what about that horrible nasty smell?’ , she asks. “I got used to you , I’m sure he will too!

Frogs having Fun

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A cat told a frog “time flies when you are having fun”
The frog corrected her “Actually it’s time is fun when you’re having flies!”

Bear like Bald man

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why do polar bears like bald men?
A: Because they have a great, white, bear (uh…bare) place!

Build herself a new House

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the bunny build herself a new house?
A: She was fed up with the hole thing!

Human balls

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do cat sharks cough up?
A: Human balls.

Whale of a tale

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :How do you make a fish laugh?
A :Tell a whale of a tale.

Get me a beer before it starts

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (13 votes, average: 4.15 out of 5)
Loading...

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.”

The wife sighs and gets him a beer.

Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me another beer before it starts.”

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.

He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it’s going to start any minute.”

Men-watching-tv
The wife is furious. She yells at him,

Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob and furthermore . . .”

The man sighs and says, “It’s started.”

Slow Poke

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (9 votes, average: 2.44 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a turtle with a hard on?
A: A slow poke.

Tadpole

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A :A tadpole!

Sheep Dog with rose

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!

Miserable guy in the bar

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (14 votes, average: 2.79 out of 5)
Loading...

A guy rushes into a bar, orders four expensive 30-year-old single malts and has the bartender line them up in front of him.

Then without pausing, he quickly downs each one. “Whew”, the bartender remarked, “you seem to be in a hurry.”
Beer-bar

“You would be too if you had what I have.”

“What do you have?” the bartender sympathetically asked.

“Fifty cents.”

show your skunks

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?
A: A phew!

Sas-gorilla

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s a monkey’s favourite drink?
A: A sas-gorilla.

Vampire shark

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s worse than being bitten by a shark?
A: Being bitten by a vampire shark

Tiger on a Pogo Stick

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Whats striped and bouncy?
A: A tiger on a pogo stick!

Why do you have Breast on your back

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

The elephant asked the camel: “Why do you have your breasts on your back?” The camel clearly irritated by the outrage of modesty replies: “What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face.”

Preeto getting hot

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Preeto: aji , aaj kuch ajiha karo ke mere pasine nikal jaan.

Banta : uthiyan te AC & pankhe da switch off kar dita.

prove my possum

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the badger cross the road? A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Old neigh-vy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Where do horses shop?
A: Old Neigh-vy!

Triceratops with a kangaroo

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ?
A: A Tricera-hops!

Hippo with carrot

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a hippo with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

Tiger Eat Lion

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Would you rather have a tiger eat your or a lion?
A: I would rather have a tiger eat a lion.

Tiger eats the comedian

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What happened when the tiger ate the comedian ?
A: He felt funny !

Girls of my Ex-boyfriend

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Girl: One of my ex-boyfriends sounds like an owl. Boy:
A :Who?

Squash

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What is an elephants favorite sport?
A :Squash

Mehengi Jaga Chaltay Hai

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (11 votes, average: 4.45 out of 5)
Loading...

Wife: Aji suniye, mujhe kisi mehengi jaga le ke chaliye na ji….

Husband: Chalo, tayyar ho jao…

Husband wife going expensive place

Guess where he took her….
………
……..
…..
….

..
.
.
.
.

Petrol pump!!!

Jockey communicate

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How does a winning jockey communicate with his horse?
A: He lays his cards on the stable.

Morse Toad

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
A :Morse toad!

Cross owl with oester

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross an owl and an oyster?
A: Pearls of Wisdom

Call four female deer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call four female deer?
A: FO REAL DOE

Don’t be aggressive on Eid day..

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5)
Loading...

Wishing You HAPPY EID MUBARAK in Advance For The Following 10 Yerar,

2011
2012
2013
2014
2015
2016
2017
2018
2019
2020

Agar Coming 10 Years Main Aap Ko Koi Pehlay Wish Karnay Ka Dawa Karay,

Tau Aik Rakh Kay Chamaat Daina Aur Yeh SMS Dikha Daina.

O.K

Don’t Delete It.

Fast food is so fast

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why don’t polar bears like fast food?
A: Because they can’t catch it!

Little wine

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did the grape say when the Lemur stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Frogs listens music

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What kind of music do frogs listen to?
A :Hip Hop

Bite off your head

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?
A: A tiger moth!

Goat married with Angelina Jolie

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What do you call a goat that was married to Angelina Jolie?
A :Billy Bob Thorton.

Crocodile with GPS

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (7 votes, average: 4.29 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a crocodile with GPS?
A: A Navi-gator.

moron platy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the Platypus cross the road?
A: Because he wanted to see his flat mate.

Goat at sea

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What do you call a goat at sea?
A :Billy Ocean.

I got in the back seat by mistake

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
Loading...

A drunken man phoned the local police department to report that thieves had been in his car.

“They have stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator,” he cried out.

Drunk-man-in-car

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time, and the same voice came over the line.

“Never mind,” the drunk said with a hiccup. “I got in the back seat by mistake.”

Hello-hello

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur?
A: Hello, hello!

Alchoholic skunk

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A man and his pet skunk walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my skunk.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the skunk falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a skunk.”

Top 20 funny quotes

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (29 votes, average: 3.52 out of 5)
Loading...

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash.

[5] Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

[6] Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.

[7] You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[8] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[9] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

[10] Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.

[11] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.

[12] Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

[13] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[14] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

[15] You’re getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

[16] It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

[17] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

[18] It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

[19] There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

[20] There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!

Tiger with a snowman

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
A: Frostbite!

Worst then a bite

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Why couldn’t the Gorilla pitcher make it in the major leagues?
A :His balk was worse than his bite!

Healthy Rabbit

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd rabbit?
A: One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!

100 Camels for Wife

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (49 votes, average: 3.31 out of 5)
Loading...

US tourists, a man and his wife are traveling in the Middle East. An Arab approaches the husband, saying, “I’ll give you 100 camels for your woman.”

After a long silence, the husband says, “She’s not for sale.”

The indignant wife says, “What took you so long to answer?”

The husband replied, “I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home.”

It just let out a wine

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (6 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the grape say when the otter stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Embarrassed Elephant

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What’s grey but turns red?
A :An embarrassed elephant!

Dinosaur with high heals

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with high heels?
A: My-feet-are-saurus

Rabbit using computer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do rabbits put in their computers?
A: Hoppy disks!

Cross a gator

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a gator and a poison frog?
A: A croak-odile.

Horse that lose a race

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race?
A: Sherbet

Mickey Moose

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a mouse and a deer?
A: Mickey Moose

Little Whrose

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a promiscious pony?
A: A Little Whorse

A little otter

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter.
A: A little (h)otter

Two rabbits on rollerblades

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels?
A: Two rabbits on Rollerblades!

I’m waiting on my house

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5)
Loading...

There’s this drunk man standing out on the street corner.

A cop passes by and says, “What do you think you’re doing?”

 Drunk-man-waiting-for-home

The drunk says, “I heard the world goes around every 24 hours and I’m waiting on my house. Won’t be long now, there goes my neighbour.”

T-Rex eat Hamburgers

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers?
A: Because he is a meat eater!

Bones in the ground

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can’t bury them in trees!

Bite the bullet

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
A: He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.

2013 which dunya khtm?

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Santa: graduation karan toh bad dobara nursery di padhai start kar denda hai?
Banta: nusrsery di padhai Q kar riha h?
Santa: 2013 wich duniya khatam h…me sochiya hune to padhai start kar dwan

Caramel coated popcorn

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What brand of caramel-coated popcorn and peanuts do sharks prefer?
A: Cracker Sharks

Bird that talks

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A: A bird that talks your ear off!

Police de gadi te ghar wali

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Police di gadi te gharwali wich common ki h?
dono apne aan te bda shor machande hai.

Say to tha puppy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the skeleton say to the puppy?
A: bonappetite

Cuckoo-cluck

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a crazy chicken?
A: A cuckoo cluck!

Unique Rabbit

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on it!

Abbreviation of ABCDEFG & GFEDCBA

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (20 votes, average: 4.35 out of 5)
Loading...

What is ABCDEFG?

boy-proposing

A Boy Can Do Everything For a Girl!

But what is GFEDCBA? (The Opposite)

boyfriend-and-girlfriend

Girl Forgets Everything Done and Catches new Boy Again!

Call a Dinasaur

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A: Try and try and try and try-ceratops

Millionare rabbit

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Did you hear about the rich rabbit?
A: He was a millionhare!

Talking lemur…

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What’s more amazing than a talking Lemur?
A: A spelling bee!

what are you doing?

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a grasshopper sitting next to him. “Are you a grasshopper?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes.” “What are you doing at the movies?” The grasshopper replied, “Well, I liked the book.

Cristmas is coming

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
A : He looks at his calen-“deer”!

Women call a frog

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A :What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Q :Lilly.

Chickens foot

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the piece of gum cross the road?
A: Because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot.

it all happened so fast

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (6 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
Loading...

A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day. A gang of snails approach him and beat him up for 7 hours. He is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises. Several hours later, he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station. Herman walks into the Sergeant’s office. “What happened to you? the officer asks. “A gang of snails beat me up,” Herman replied. “Can you describe what they looked like?” “I don’t know,” the sloth says. “It all happened so fast.”

A battered puss

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a deep fried platypus?
A: A battered-pus

Blonde cheats Lawyer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

 

clever layer

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains how the game works: “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me, and visa-versa.” Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The chauvinistic lawyer figures that since his opponent is a blonde he will easily win the match, so he makes another offer:

“Okay, how about this “If you don’t know the answer you pay me only $5, but if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $50.” This catches the blonde’s attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, she agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?” The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it’s the blonde’s turn. She asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?”

The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour, of searching for the answer he finally gives up. He wakes the blonde and hands her $50.

The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little frustrated, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, so what IS the answer?” Again without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

grape under porcupine

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the grape say when the Porcupine stood on it? A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Dino-Store

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Where did Velociraptor buy things?
A: At a dino-store!

Stinky winkey donkey

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye while breaking wind ? A:
A stinkey winkey wonkey donkey

Raccoon stand on it

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the grape say when the Raccoon stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

They have Big fingers

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: They have big fingers.

Shell-arious ones

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What kind of jokes do sea turtles tell?
A: Shell-arious ones!

Find somewhere else to sleep

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ?
A: Find somewhere else to sleep!

Different between OJ simpson

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What’s the difference between OJ Simpson and the Sharks?
A: OJ Simpson had a more credible defence…

Hamster upset with his job

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :Why was the Hamster upset with his job?
A: It didn’t pay enough salary (celery).

Santa’s Reindeer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?
A : “Rude”-olph!

Dinosaur slept all day

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Which dinosaur slept all day ?
A: The dino-snore!

At the Spawn shop

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Where do you get frogs eggs?
A :At the spawn shop!

Its whale Of a Tale

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Have you heard of Flight of the Penguins (sequel to March)?
A: Its a whale of a tale

Pride of Giraffe

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
A: It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

Long Turtle

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (9 votes, average: 1.56 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a turtle with 6 feet?
A: A 6-foot turtle.

Chicks to talk

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
A: Because talk is cheep!

They beat eggs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why don’t chickens like people?
A: They beat eggs!

Rabbit wearing Glasses

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A: Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses!

Owl invite his friend

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the Owl invite his friends over?
A: He didn’t want to be Owl by himself.

Pony spayed

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

There was this young filly whose owners decided to have her “fixed.” The stallion next door was heartbroken, as he’d always wanted to mate with her. He pined for her constantly. Moral of the Story? “A pony spayed is a pony yearned.”

Take me to your litter

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did the alien say to the cat?
A: Take me to your litter.

Donkey that can go

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a Donkey that can go 0-40 in 3.4 seconds?
A: Fibergl-ass

Master to santa

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Master bachiya nu puchda hai, daso vade ho ke tusi ki banna chaoge?
shunty : me Engineer banna chanda haan.
bunty : me doctor banna chanda haan.
dipti : me achi maa banna chandi haan.
santa : te me dipti di madad karna chanda haan.

To prove his Possum

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the Koala cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Always allow the bosses to speak first

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (15 votes, average: 3.60 out of 5)
Loading...

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.

The ghost says: Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each”

So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. “Pfufffff and he was gone.

Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted “I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails.”Pfufffff and he was also gone.

The boss calmly said, “I want these two idiots back right now .” Pfuffff ……….:p

Lesson :- ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSSES TO SPEAK FIRST

Bugs Bunny !

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross an insect and a rabbit?
A: Bugs Bunny!

Out oh the way

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes?
A: Out of the way!

Plug its nose

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do you make a skunk stop smelling?
A: Plug up its nose!

Cross gator and Poison Frog

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What do you get when you cross a gator and a poison frog?
A :A croakadile.

600 Pound Gorilla

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q:What do you feed a 600 pound Gorilla?
A:Anything it wants!

Blubbering Gum

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What did the shark say to the whale?
A: What are you blubbering about?

I know its early

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 2.33 out of 5)
Loading...

I know its too early…
but l have hundreds of boys and pretty girls to wish…
So I decided to finish off Uncles & Aunties first!

Japan Fast, India Very Very Fast

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (13 votes, average: 4.38 out of 5)
Loading...

 There was a Japanese who went to India for sightseeing. On the last day, he hired a cab and told the driver to drive to the Airport.During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan !!!.

After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi and again the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, “Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!” And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, “Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!”

taxi-meter-made-in-india-very-very-fast

The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars.
Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was 800 rupees. !!!!

The Japanese exclaimed, “What??… so expensive!” There upon, the driver yelled back, “Meter, Made in India VERY VERY FAST !!!!!

Video Camera & toilet room

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (39 votes, average: 3.15 out of 5)
Loading...

Take your Video camera (take someone elses if you don’t have one)
2) Enter your toilet room
3) From the other side of the room to the toilet, stand on a chair and video a shot from near the ceiling of your toilet seat (about 5 mins should do)
4) Have a party !!
5) When someone leaves the room to visit the lav. put the cassette in your vid player.
6) Just before the person re-enters the room start playing the tape – with everyone in the room laughing at the TV screen.
7) WATCH THE FACE OF THE PERSON RE-ENTERING THE ROOM !! :-)

Cow laughs to hard

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What happens when a cow laughs too hard?
A: It Cowlapses!

Clever politician of India

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (10 votes, average: 4.30 out of 5)
Loading...

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars.Only one person could go, and he will not return to Earth.

The first applicant, an American engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going.
“A million dollars”, he answered, “because I wish to donate it to M.I.T.”

The next applicant, a Russian doctor, was asked the same question.
]He asked for two million dollars. “I wish to give a million to my family, he explained,
“and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.”

Nasa-sending-engineer-to-mars
The last applicant
was our Indian politician (Lallu Prasad Yadav).
When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer’s ear, “Three million dollars.”

“Why so much more than the others?” the interviewer asked.
The Indian Politician replied, $1 million is for you, I’ll keep $1
million,and we’ll give the American engineer $1million and send him to Mars”

Lawn moo-er

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A :A lawn moo-er.

California ferret

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How many California ferret owners does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Thousands. First they have to write to their representatives, educate others, obtain support, etc. then have a bill proposal pass through various committees before the government will allow the bulb to be changed.

Terrified postman

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?
A: A terrified postman!

Frog in bathtub

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A : A rubbit!

Caught peepin

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: He got caught peeping on a test.

Four Skin Divers

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do you circumsize a whale?
A: You send down four-skin divers.

Avagadro is so rich

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why is Avogadro so rich?
A: He’s a multi-mole-ionare!

Blind Jockey in a race

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

blind jockey

A jockey is about to enter an race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘ALLLLEEE OOOP!’ really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do that, you’ll be fine.”

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer’s ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers “Aleeee ooop” in the horse’s ear. The same thing happens – the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, “It’s no good, I’ll have to do it,” and yells, “ALLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.

The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, “Nothing is wrong with me – it’s this bloody horse. What is he – deaf or something?”

The trainer replies, “Deaf? Deaf?! He’s not deaf. He’s blind!” 😀 😀

Office memo

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Dear Staff,
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada sneakers and carrying a Gucci bag we assume that you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

 office-memo-joke-1

Lunch Breaks:
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch
as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average size. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Restroom Use:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of 3 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet pater roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the “Chronic Offender” category.

office-memo-joke-2

Surgery:

As long as you are employed here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed will constitute a breach of employment.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, and input should be directed elsewhere.

Have a nice week.

Baby Giraffes

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do giraffes have that no one else has?
A: Baby giraffes!

Do sitting on Rabbit

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit?
A: A chili dog on a bun!

Evaporated milk

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What does an invisible man drink?
A: Evaporated milk!

Anywhere he wants too

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Where does a tiger sleep?
A: Anywhere he wants to!

Clever Prisoner and the prison guard

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (18 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
Loading...

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: “Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some flowers in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?”

Prisoner-and-the-flower

The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: “Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money.”

A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife:“Dear Husband, You wouldn’t believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up the entire back garden.”

The prisoner wrote another letter back: “Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the flower.”

In tha pasture

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Where do you put 2 horses that just broken up?
A: In the pasture

Firen from hi job

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
A: He would only do the BEAR minimum.

splatter pus

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a Platypus and a Steamroller?
A: Splatterpus

Alchoholic badger

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A man and his pet badger walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my badger.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the badger falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a badger.”

My Hearing is Perfect Now

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (15 votes, average: 2.93 out of 5)
Loading...

A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”

old man

“Really,” answered the neighbor . “What kind is it?”

“Twelve thirty.”

Bullshit

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What family does Maiasaur belong to?
A: I don’t think any families in our neighborhood have one!

Long distance

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ?
A: Long distance!

Tiger lily

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What is the fiercest flower in the garden?
A: A tiger lily!

Call group of chicken

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A: A Hensemble.

Shark Hudson

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Who is the shark communitys favorite 1950s film actor
A: Shark Hudson

Peanut better type

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ?
A: A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!

Avagadro love to mash

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Avogadro loved to watch MASH. Which character did he like most?
A: Father Molecahy

Sir???

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What do you call a hamster that can pick up an elephant ?
A: Sir!

Cross polar bear with seal

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal?
A: A polar bear.

Gorilla with Machine

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s black and dangerous and lives in a tree?
A: A gorilla with a machine gun.

T-rex cross road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the t-rex cross the road?
A: Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet

Goat With Beer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What do you call a goat with a beard?
A :Goatee!

sir?

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q. What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot?
A. Sir.

Shark make the best

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What kind of sharks make the best pog players?
A: Slammerheads!

Spastic Goat

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What do you call a spastic goat?
A :Billy the kid.

Toad die

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :How did the toad die?
A :He simply croaked!

Drinking crazy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A man and his pet seagull walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my seagull.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the seagull falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a seagull.”

Box of quackers

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a crate of ducks?
A: A box of quackers

Name for twins

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (11 votes, average: 4.36 out of 5)
Loading...

Raabert had twins and comes to the “Boss”…..

twins in bollywood

Raabert: Boss, mere dono bachon ke liye koi naam bataiye..
Ajeet: Ek ka naam rakho Peter….
Raabert: boss or doosre ka ?
Ajeet: Repeater.

Stegosaurus

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels?
A: A Stegosaurus on roller skates!

Stork stand on one leg

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why does a stork stand on one leg?
A: Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

Talkin Owl

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s more amazing than a talking Owl?
A: A spelling bee!

one night challenge for man

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should’ve known… ONLY women would be able to drag a fat jolly old man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Big Fingers

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers!

Hopthalmologist

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Did you hear about the frog with glasses?
A :He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.

Cross a shark

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if you cross a shark with a Rottweiler?
A: An abomination unto God Himself

Dancing sheep

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a dancing sheep?
A: A baa-lerina!

End of the rainbow

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Where do frogs keep their treasure?
A :In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow!

Reindeer with three eyes

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q : What do you call a reindeer with three eyes?
A : Reiiindeer

Japenese Shocked Behari Rocks

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

The Japanese government offers Rabri Devi a golden deal. “Give us Bihar for a year, We will make it like Japan.”
Rabri Devi replies. “Give us Japan for a month. We will make it like Bihar”.

Dusky husky

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a black Eskimo dog?
A: A dusky husky!

On the Rocks

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do Penguins drink their cola?
A: On the rocks.

Platypus in a mood

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
Loading...

The platypus went into a bar. He bought two sodas. “That’ll be $2.50, please” said the bartender. “Just put it on my bill” said the platypus.

Prince and her paw parr

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What is a cats favorite book?
A: The prince and the paw-purr.

Coop- cakes

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
A: Coop-cakes!

Tired to fired

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Did you hear about the man who tried to feed a bear an Apple?
A: It didn’t bear fruit.

Stable tennis

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is a young Colts favorite sport?
A: Stable Tennis.

Cute Bunch of Cows

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. “What a cute bunch of cows!” she remarked. “Not a bunch, herd”, her friend replied. “Heard of what?” “Herd of cows.” “Of course I’ve heard of cows.” “No, a cow herd.” “What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!”

Reindeer wera fur coats

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : Why do reindeer wear fur coats?
A : Because they would look silly in plastic macs!

The greatest gift of husband

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (31 votes, average: 4.06 out of 5)
Loading...

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
husband-wife-gift
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?”

“My darling,”
he replied, “I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”

lazy platypus

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 2.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the platypus catch the bus?
A: Because he didn’t want to walk.