Appetizers

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Q: What do alligators call human children?
A: Appetizers.

Disappointed salesman of Coca Cola

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A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, “Why weren’t you successful with the Arabs?”

The salesman explained, “When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn’t know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters…

First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand… totally exhausted and panting.

 Desert-man-exhausted

Second, the man is drinking our Cola and

Third, our man is now totally refreshed.

Drinking-coca-cola

Then these posters were pasted all over the place”

“That should have worked,” said the friend.

The salesman replied, “Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn’t realize that Arabs read from right to left…”

Tooth-brush

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Q: What does a dinosaur call a porcupine?
A: A toothbrush.

Bear get so scared

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Q: Why did the bear get so scared?
A: Because he looked in the mirror

move it move it

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Q: Why did King Julien refuse to dance?
A: He didn’t like to “move it move it”

On Gondkoala

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Q: How does a koala get from one place to another?
A: On a gondkoala

I love you flower

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If I was a dog
and you was a flower,
I’d lift up my legs,
and give you a shower.

Horse lives next door

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Q: What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A: A neigh-bor!

Penguin Catch at night

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Q: What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
A: Starfish.

School kion aatay ho ?

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Teacher: Tum school kyun aate ho?
Student: Vidya ke liye sir!

Student coming school for vidya

Teacher: Phir tum class mein soo kyun rahe ho?
Student: Aaj Vidya nahi aayi hai isliye sir!!!

Cow stop to drink

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Q: Where does a cow stop to drink?
A: The milky way!

Double crosser

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
A: He was a double-crosser!

Blonde one liners

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Blonde one liner jokes

Why does a blonde keep empty beer bottles in her fridge?
They are for those who don’t drink!

How do you keep a blonde busy?
You give her a bottle of shampoo that says: “Lather, rinse, and repeat.”

How do you confuse a blonde?
You don’t. They’re born that way.

Why did the blonde tip toe past the medicine cabinet?
So she wouldn’t wake up the Sleeping Pills.

Plant a frog

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Q :What do you get when you plant a frog?
A :A cr-oak tree.

New to the Area

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Q :Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
A :Because he was newt to the area!

Her shadow

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Q: What’s as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing?
A: Her shadow!

what do you mean

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Q: What do you get when you cross a bear and a skunk?
A: I don’t know, but it can easily get a seat on the bus!

Imam who get up

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Here is the story of an Imam who got up after Eid ul fitar prayers and announced to the people:

“I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it’s still out there in your pockets.”

Farmer like a maigcian

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Q: When is a farmer like a magician?
A: When he turns his cow into pasture.

He’s Rabbit fan!

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Q: Does the Easter Bunny like baseball?
A:Oh, yes. He’s a rabbit fan!

Croaker Spaniel

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Q :What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A :A croaker spaniel!

Sore throat

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Q: What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A: A Diplodocus with a sore throat!

Get into Donners house

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Q : How do you get into Donner’s house?
A : You ring the “deer”-bell!

Reindeer wearing ear muffs

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Q : What do you call a reindeer wearing ear muffs?
A : Anything you want because he can’t hear you!

Moles love chemistry

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MOLE day

Q: What element do moles love to study in chemistry?
A: Molybdenum

Barney in an elevator

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Q: What’s green and purple and goes up and down?
A: Barney in an elevator.

Physiologists

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Psychologist: What brings you here today?
Squirrel: I realized I am what I eat…..Nuts.

Mule tide greetings

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Q: What do donkeys send out near Christmas?
A: Mule-tide greetings.

Peanut Butter

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Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a dairy cow?
A: Peanut butter.

Evaporated milk

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Q: What does an invisible man drink?
A: Evaporated milk!

To he mooon

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Q: “Where did the cows go last night”?
A: “To the mooon”

Koalifications

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Q: Why isn’t the the koala a real bear?
A: He doesn’t have the right koalifications.

Act like Chestnut

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Q: How do you catch a squirrel with a Katy Perry fixation?
A: Climb a tree and act like a chestnut.