Q :Who lost a herd of elephants?
A :Big bo peep!
Big ho peep
(No Ratings Yet)
Loading... (No Ratings Yet)Loading...Frogs listen sophisticated music
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q :What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
A :Hopera
Mos-cows
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Where do Russians get their milk?
A: From Mos-cows
Get into Donners house
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q : How do you get into Donner’s house?
A : You ring the “deer”-bell!
Llama – ables
(2 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What did the llama have for dinner?
A: Llama-ables
Abrahmster lincoln
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q :What do you call a hamster with a top hat?
A: Abrahamster Lincoln
Green Pistachio Nuts
(2 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: How do you catch an Irish squirrel?
A: Climb a tree and act like a green pistachio nut.
She wanted to be first aid kid
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
A: Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!
At the South Pole
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Where do penguins go swimming?
A: At the South Pool!
What the Fuc** dude..!!
(3 votes, average: 2.33 out of 5)Loading...A koala is sitting up a Eucalypt tree … smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says, “Hey Koala ! What are you doing?” The koala says: “Smoking a joint, come up and have some.” So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints. After a while the little lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’ and is going to get a drink from the river. But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: “What’s the matter with you?” The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the Eucalypt tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the Eucalypts tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says “Hey you!” So the koala looks down at him and says: “WTFFFF dude … how much water did you drink?
Racist Zebra
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...There once were two little zebras who wanted to know if they were white with black stripes, or black with white stripes. One little zebra suggested to visit the “Zebra of the Wise” The two little zebras went to the Zebra of the wise and asked, “Are we black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?” The Zebra of the wise replied ” We are who we are.” The one little zebra said “OK” and ran away. Then the other little zebra followed him. The one little zebra said to the other… ” He didn’t answer us, so what are we?” The one little zebra said ” We are white with black stripes.” The other zebra said “how do you know that.” Then the little zebra said, ” Well if we were black with white stripes he would have said ” We is who we is.”
Anything she wants
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat?
A: Anything she wants!
Sheep with no legs
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A: A cloud.
Elephant claus
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q:Who do elephants get their christmas presents from?
A: Elephanta Claus!
Beggar and software developer
(12 votes, average: 3.42 out of 5)Loading...A beggar meets another beggar. A software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question ???
So, Which Platform are you Working on ???
Sheeps are such a bad drivers
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Why are sheep baaaaaad drivers?
A: They always make illegal ewe turns.
Penguin Rolling Down
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What’s black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white?
A: A penguin rolling down a hill
Credit Card
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: How do you stop a bull from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!
Llamas and alpacas
(2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What’s the diffrenece between llamas and alpacas?
A: Alpacas have more dark meat!
Bus driver say to the frog
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :What did the bus driver say to the frog?
A :Hop on!
Mcdonald’s run out of Chicken
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did McDonald’s run out of chicken McNuggets?
A: The farmer counted his chickens before they hatched.
17 Management Funda’s for you
(19 votes, average: 3.89 out of 5)Loading...1.”We will do it” means “You will do it”
2.”You have done a great job” means “More work to be given to you”
3.”We are working on it” means “We have not yet started working on the
same”
4.”Tomorrow first thing in the morning” means “Its not getting done
“At least not tomorrow!”
5.”After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views” means “I have already decided, I will tell you what to do”
6.”There was a slight miscommunication” means “We had actually lied”
7.”Lets call a meeting and discuss” means “I have no time now, will talk later”
8.”We can always do it” means “We actually cannot do the same on time”
9.”We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline” means “The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time.”
10.”We had slight differences of opinion “means “We had actually fought”
11.”Make a list of the work that you do and let’s see how I can help you” means “Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me”
12.”You should have told me earlier” means “Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!”
13.”We need to find out the real reason” means “Well I will tell you where your fault is”
14.”Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected,” means, “Well you know…”
15.”We are a team,” means, “I am not the only one to be blamed”
16.”That’s actually a good question” means “I do not know anything about it”
17.”All the Best” means “You are in trouble”
Owl Magician
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call an owl magician?
A: Hoooooo-dini
Fatty puss
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you get if you cross a hungry cat with roast duck? A: A duck-filled-fatty-puss!
He is a meat Eater
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers?
A: Because he is a meat eater!
Fortune Cookie
(3 votes, average: 1.67 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a food stamp inside of a burrito?
A: An otter fortune cookie
Turtle Wax
(8 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)Loading...Q: Why is turtle wax so expensive?
A: Because their ears are so small!
Chistmas to Ewe
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A: Merry Christmas to Ewe!
my wife smells nasty
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A guy brings a Lemur home , tells his wife it’s a pet. She asks , “Where are you going to keep it?” He repies , “In the bedroom.” “But what about that horrible nasty smell?’ , she asks. “I got used to you , I’m sure he will too!”
Croakus
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What’s a toads favorite flower?
A: A croakus!
Cows favourite subject in school
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What are a cows favorite subjects in school?
A: Moosic, psycowolgy, cowculus
Pay the taxi fare
(2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Why didn’t the platypus pay the taxi driver?
A: Because he only had a one-dollar-bill!
Climb a tree
(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: How do you catch a squirrel interested in ornithology?
A: Climb a tree and act like a nuthatch (Sitta carolinensis).
Potty-pus
(2 votes, average: 1.50 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you get when you cross a toilet and a platypus?
A: A potty-pus
Chicken Crosses the road
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Elephant with spare parts
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :What has 3 tails, 4 trunks and 6 feet?
A :An elephant with spare parts!
Dogs favourite comedian
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Who is the dogs favorite comedian?
A: Growlcho Marx!
Ten pounds difference
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :Whats the difference between your mom and an African Elephant?
A :Ten pounds.
Difference between Cat and Frog
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A :A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night!
Bunny Rabit
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A :A bunny ribbit.
Policeman Give the sheep
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
A: He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
Call 911
(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)Loading...Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what’s your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.
Knock Knock !!
(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Goat! Goat who?
Goat to believe in magic.
Cow can cut the grass
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call a cow that can cut the grass?
A: Mulan.
Blubber Gum
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do whales like to chew?
A: Blubber gum!
Beef Jerky
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?
A: Beef Jerky
Drizzle bears
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What are polar bears called when they get caught in the rain?
A: Drizzly bears.
Deviled Eggs
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter?
A: Deviled eggs!
Pony sleigh
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q : What does Rudolph want for Christmas?
A : A pony sleigh station!
Calvin feed hobbes
(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)Loading...Q: What does Calvin feed Hobbes?
A: Nothing he’s already stuffed.
Hare -raising tail
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did the rabbit like the adventure?
A: It was a “hare-raising tail”
Professor becomes Plumber
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...
The Wonderful Husband🐰…. Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: ‘Hello’ WOMAN: ‘Honey, 🐝it’s me… R u at the club?’ MAN: ‘Yes’😍 WOMAN: ‘I’m at the City Centre mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000 Is it OK if I buy it?’ MAN: ‘Sure, go ahead if you really like it.’😘 WOMAN: ‘I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2013 Models. I saw one 🚗 I really liked.’ MAN: ‘How much?’ WOMAN: ‘$98,000’ MAN: ‘OK, but for that price make sure it comes with all the options.’ WOMAN: ‘Great! Oh, and one more thing, the house 🏡I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking for $980,000/-.’ MAN: ‘well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, go the extra 50 thousand if you think it’s really a pretty good price.’ WOMAN: ‘OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! You’re so generous!’ MAN: “You’re worth it. ‘Bye!’ The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, with mouths wide open 😧 The man turns and asks “Anybody knows whose phone📱 this is?” 😍👏👍😝😳😁
Santa Jaws
(2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Who gives alligators presents on Christmas?
A: Santa Jaws!
Farmer become school teacher
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?
A: So he could grade his eggs
Holstain
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What are the spots on black and white cows?
A: Holstains
Polar bear go to the movies
(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Why shouldn’t you take polar bears to the zoo?
A: Because they’d rather go to the movies.
He had little Ape-tude
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :Why did the Gorilla fail English?
A : He had little Ape-titude!
Love shark
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What was the sharks favorites song
A: Love Shark
A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic
(10 votes, average: 2.90 out of 5)Loading...A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said, it was his mission.
He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, “Now that’s addition.”
In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, “Now that’s subtraction.”
Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation.
And both together smiled and said, “That’s multiplication.”
Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.
He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, “That’s long division!”
One Wags a tail
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: How is a dog and a marine biologist alike?
A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
Light at night
(2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A: A tiger moth!
Disappointed salesman of Coca Cola
(12 votes, average: 4.17 out of 5)Loading...A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, “Why weren’t you successful with the Arabs?”
The salesman explained, “When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn’t know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters…
First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand… totally exhausted and panting.
Second, the man is drinking our Cola and
Third, our man is now totally refreshed.
Then these posters were pasted all over the place”
“That should have worked,” said the friend.
The salesman replied, “Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn’t realize that Arabs read from right to left…”
Sore throat
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A: A Diplodocus with a sore throat!
Dinosaur go extinct
(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Why did the dinosaurs go extinct?
A: Because they wouldn’t take a bath!
Homework is at home
(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...Me: should I get into trouble for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: No
Me: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
platypus crossing the road
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Why did the platypus cross the road?
A: To show the possum that it could be done.
Meals on Wheels
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What did the Polar Bear say when it saw a seal on a skateboard?
A: “Meals on Wheels!”
How many arms Alligators have
(1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: How many arms has a alligator got?
A: Depends how far he has got with eating his dinner!
Gorilla are cheetahs
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why don’t the gorillas in the jungle play poker any more?
A: There are just too many Cheetahs.
Frogs favourite place
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :What is a frogs favorite place to eat?
A :At ihop!
In the Dark
(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ?
A: In the dark!
Mailman is my Father :(
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...| One day, a father and his daughter are together. The father is putting the daughter to sleep. After the father leaves, he hears her saying her prayers. He hears her say, ” God bless mommy, daddy, and grandma, rest in peace grandpa. The father hears all of this and barges back into the room. He asks her, ” Why did you say the last part? ” The daughter replies, ” Because I needed to. ” The next day, grandpa dies. The father thinks, ” Is this just a coincidence? ” That night he tucks her daughter into bed. He leaves the room to only hear her prayers again. He hears, ” Bless mommy and daddy, rest in peace grandma. ” The father now is thinking, ” Holy shit, my daughter can see into the future? ” The next day, grandma dies. A week later nothing happens, but the night before Sunday, he is tucking his daughter into bed once more. He leaves and listens for any more prayers. Sure enough, there is another prayer. He hears, ” Bless you mommy, rest in peace daddy. ” The father starts panicking and saying, ” Holy shit! I’m going to die tomorrow! ” The following start of the next day consisted the father being alert all the time, checking the clock, looking around the room, etc. He goes to work to do the same things, being alert, all of that. He looks at the clock again 3 hours later. It’s past midnight. The father says, ” How is this possible? I should be dead! ” He goes home and finds his wife on the couch with a scared look on her face. She asks, ” What took you so long!? ” The father says, ” Listen honey, today I haven’t had the best of days. ” Then as soon as he is about to tell what happened, she bursts out, ” I saw the mailman die yesterday! ” |
Polar Bear with Harp Seal
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you get if you cross a polar bear and a harp seal?
A: A bear faced lyre!
To get other
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :Why did the whale cross the road?
A :To get to the other tide!
Card shark
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What kind of shark is always gambling?
A: A CARDSHARK
Clucl o the irish
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
A: The Cluck o’the Irish!
Shark cross the road
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did the shark cross the road?
A: To get to the other tide!
Mole finance their homes
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: How do moles finance their homes?
A: With a molergage!
I have sipt in this beer, do not drink
(5 votes, average: 4.20 out of 5)Loading...A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the toilet.
He doesn’t want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, “I have sipt in this beer, do not drink!”.
After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, “So did I!”
Sheep go when they die
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Where do sheep go when they die?
A: To the baa baa que.
poor skunk
(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay, the skunk didn’t have a scent, the deer didn’t have a buck, so they put the meal on the duck’s bill.
horn-aments
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
A : “Horn”-aments!
What rubbish
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What’s worse than one shark coming to dinner?
A: Two sharks coming to dinner
Spanish Goats
(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...Q :What do you call a Spanish goat with no back legs?
A :Gracias.
Peeling well..
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did the gorilla go to the doctor?
A: Because his banana wasn’t peeling very well!
Cross a cow and a duck
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A: Milk and Quackers!
Vampires like horse racing
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: When do vampires like horse racing?
A: When it’s neck and neck
Penguins In Revolving Door
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What’s black and white and goes round and around?
A: A Penguin in a revolving door.
Dino sore
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor?
A: Dino-sore!
Favourite Kitchen tool
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: what is a cats favorite kitchen tool?
A: The “whisker”.
A Polygon
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What figure describes a lost parrot?
A: A polygon!
Bhaiyya g Applied for Engineering Position
(3 votes, average: 2.33 out of 5)Loading...A bhaiyyaji applied for an engineering position at an office in Uttar Pradesh. Reddy from Chennai applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager.
Upon completion of the test, the results showed that both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to the bhaiyyaji and said, “Thank you for your interest, but we’ve decided to give the job to Reddy.”
Bhaiyyaji: “And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct. This being Uttar Pradesh I should get the job!”
Manager: “We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the one question that you got wrong.”
Bhaiyyaji: “And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?”
Manager: “Simple, for the question that both of you got wrong, Reddy put down ‘I don’t know’ as the answer. And you wrote ‘Neither do I’!”
Giraffe winning a horse race
(3 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A: A longshot.
Milk shake
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call an arab next to a cow?
A: Milk Sheikh!
A swell shark
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What is the keenest kind of shark?
A: A swellshark!
Grab a Bite
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
A: Do you want to grab a bite?
Preferred Frogs car
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :Whats the preferred car of frogs?
A :The Beetle.
Anything you like..
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q. What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears?
A. Anything you like, he won’t hear you!
Out of the way
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you get when a dinosaur blows it’s nose?
A: OUT of the way!!
Dino-saw
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use?
A: A dino-saw !
Marsh-mole ows
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
A: Marsh-mole-ows!
Haha Long Arm of the Law
(3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you get if you cross a giraffes with a police-man ?
A: Long-arm of the Law !
Somethin about Owl
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Did you hear the one about the owl?
A: It was a hoot.
Koalifications
(4 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)Loading...Q: Why isn’t the the koala a real bear?
A: He doesn’t have the right koalifications.
man with cliff
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call a man with seagull on his head?
A: Cliff
Long heaird hippo
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call a long haired hippo?
A: A hippy
Ate a duck
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call a cat who just ate a duck?
A: a duck-filled platy puss.
Tweeting on test
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
Law of gravity
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did the bird get a ticket?
A: It broke the law of gravity!
Elephant weighs nothing
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
A :Its shadow!
Nobody’s herd
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What happened to the lost cattle?
A: Nobody’s herd.
Mommy sharks and daddy
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: why did the mommy shark and daddy shark get divorced
A: they no longer loved each other
Larkian agg lagati hain
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Santa : daso kehde office wich ladies kam nahi kar sakdi?
Banta: firebrigade?
Santa: Q ?
Banta: firebrigade da kam aag bhujana hunda hai aag lgana nahi !
Vampire shark
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What’s worse than being bitten by a shark?
A: Being bitten by a vampire shark
Gorilla riding down
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :What’s black, brown and white, black, brown and white, brown and white, etc.?
A: A Gorilla riding down a snowbank!
Flying reindeer
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q : how can Santa’s sleigh possibly fly through the air?
A : You would too if you were pulled by flying reindeer!
Jockey communicate
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: How does a winning jockey communicate with his horse?
A: He lays his cards on the stable.
Cross cat with Owl
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you get when you cross a cat and an owl?
A: Meowls.
Horse and a Chicken
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, “I think I can stand over the hole!” So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, “Grab for my penis and pull yourself up.” And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
Moral of the Story: If you’re hung like a horse, you don’t need a BMW to pick up chicks.
Tyrannosaurus Flex
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What was the most flexible dinosaur?
A: Tyrannosaurus Flex.
Bullogna
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
A: Bullogna
policeman caught nasty boy
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a bb gun in one hand and a ferret in the other. “Now Listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy. “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”
Rubbish
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What makes more noise than a dinosaur ?
A: Two dinosaurs !
Pollunomial Parrots
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a parrot that doesn’t eat?
A: A polynomeal (polynomial)
Teacher
(2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Once a teacher was teaching the children about stripes animal. Teacher:Aisha stand up and tell me any two names of striped animals. Aisha:Zebra. Teacher:Very good now tell the other name! Aisha:Another zebra.
I liked the books
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a ferret sitting next to him. “Are you a ferret?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes.” “What are you doing at the movies?” The ferret replied, “Well, I liked the book.
Non typical white tail
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What is the defination of a non-typical Whitetail?
A: One that stays off the Highway!
Let out a little wine
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
A :Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Scotish toads play
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do Scottish toads play?
A: Hop-scotch!
Frogs having Fun
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A cat told a frog “time flies when you are having fun”
The frog corrected her “Actually it’s time is fun when you’re having flies!”
Bear Your Heart
(1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: How do you apologize to a koala?
A: BEAR your heart and soul.
Triceratops with a kangaroo
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ?
A: A Tricera-hops!
Slow Poke
(9 votes, average: 2.44 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a turtle with a hard on?
A: A slow poke.
Goat married with Angelina Jolie
(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...Q :What do you call a goat that was married to Angelina Jolie?
A :Billy Bob Thorton.
I like your thinking
(20 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)Loading...A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?” She calls on little Mark.
He replies, “None , they will all fly away with the first gunshot.”
The teacher replies, “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”
Then little Mark says, “I have a question for YOU. ”
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?”
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, Continue reading
Donkey Auction
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you get cross an optimetrist convention and a donkey auction?
A: Two eyegl-asses for the price of one.
Intelligent Grape
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What did the grape say when the ferret stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Dino-sewer
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ?
A: A dino-sewer !
Cross Parrot With shark
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: an animal that talks your head off.
smell icopter
(3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)Loading...Q:What do you call a flying skunk?
A: A smell-icopter.
He’s Rabbit fan!
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Does the Easter Bunny like baseball?
A:Oh, yes. He’s a rabbit fan!
Potato with elephant
(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...Q :What do you get when you cross a potato with an elephant?
A :Mashed potatoes!
Baboom
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A: Baboom!
Crocodile in vest
(4 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call an crocodile in a vest?
A: An investigator.
Hourgl-ass
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call a donkey that keeps time?
A: Hourgl-ass
Tadpole
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A :A tadpole!
hitchicking toad
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you say to a hitchhiking toad?
A: Hop in!
Shepherd looking for a sheep
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A shepherd was looking for a lost sheep, after a couple hours he found it stuck in some briar bushes and covered with mud. He rescued the sheep. After several slanderous remarks about the muddy dumb sheep, the sheep blurted out, “What are you griping about, I almost drowned in the pond?” Shocked at hearing the Sheep speak, the Shepherd asked the sheep why he was in the pond in the first place, “Don’t you know sheep can’t swim?”, We were not swimming, we were wallowing in mud and I stepped into, a deep hole?” “Who is we?” the Shepherd asked. “Me and the pig?” The sheep replied. “Why on earth would you wallow in mud?” asked the Shepherd. “Well the pig said it would make me cooler, I was getting hot.” The shepherd asked the sheep where the pig was. The sheep replied. “He went back to the barn.” So the Shepherd put the sheep on his shoulders and began his trip back to the barn. He did not own a pig, and he planned to take the pig to task for the mud wallowing incident. The next day the shepherd?s rich neighbor a farmer came by and inquired if the shepherd had seen his pig. Soon the Shepherd began telling the rich farmer about the sheep and pig story, and demanded compensation for the incident caused by the farmer’s pig.” The farmer expressed his doubts to the Shepherd, whereupon the Sheep blurted out “He’s right, it was your pig that did it.” Just then the rich farmer realized that this was a talking sheep. He thought to himself, “I can make millions with a talking sheep. He stopped the discussion and asked if the shepherd would take 500 dollars for the sheep. The shepherd replied that he would consider the sale on an as is basis, no guarantees. The farmer then bought the sheep and the trade was done. The shepherd turned and as he walked away the farmer heard him say “Well that’s one less diseased and dying sheep I have to worry about, Your pig said he was full of shit anyway.”
Favourtie college student shark
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What was the college student sharks favorite internet site?
A: Finsbook
Rabbit hood
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What’s the name of the rabbit who stole from the rich and gave to the
A: Rabbit Hood.
Letter to her friend
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
A: In a HEN-velope!
Rabbit’s favourite Dance style
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What is a rabbit’s favorite dance style?
A: Hip-Hop!
Elephants afraid of cheetahs
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :Why don’t elephants like playing cards in the jungle?
A :Because of all the cheetahs!
Curiosity killed the cat
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Did you hear about the cat who wanted a dog to teach her how to bark?
A: Curiousity killed the cat.
Where are sharks from?
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Where are sharks from?
A: Finland.
Cristmias trees
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? “Horn”-aments!
Squash
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :What is an elephants favorite sport?
A :Squash
Raccon learning new language
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: When does a Raccoon go “moo”?
A: When it is learning a new language!
Bear like Bald man
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why do polar bears like bald men?
A: Because they have a great, white, bear (uh…bare) place!
Grasshover
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q:What do you call a grasshopper with no legs?
A:A grasshover!
Two Hunters
(1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Two hunters decide to go moose hunting in Canada. They hire an airplane to drop them off in a remote region. The pilot drops them off and tells them, “I`ll be back in one week. No more than one moose – got it?” One week passes, and the pilot returns. The hunters have two moose. The pilot says, “Hey, I told you guys no more than one moose.” One of the hunters replies, “Look the pilot told us the same thing last year and we gave him a `big` tip to take both moose out.” The three of them argue for several minutes more. The pilot gives up and agrees to take both moose. Well, they load up the moose and fire up the plane. The plane shudders and strains trying to take off. It finally gets the wheels off the ground 5 feet, 10 feet. Whoops! It runs out of runway and smashes into a tree. The two hunters, dazed and confused make there way out of the wreckage. One hunter looks at the other and says, “Where the heck are we?” The other looks around and replies, “About 200 yards further than we got last year!”
Afraid of getting toad
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :Why didn’t the frog park on the side of the road?
A :He was afraid of getting toad!
When your nose touches the ceiling
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?
A :When your nose touches the ceiling!
Skunk with bear
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
A: Winnie the PU!
Ground beef
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call a cow with no legs at all?
A: Ground beef
Unique up on it
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: How do you catch a unique bird?
A: Unique up on it.
Nice Knawing you
(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What did they llama say to the blade of grass?
A: Nice knawing you!
Billy Idol
(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...Q :What do you call an unemployed goat?
A :Billy Idol.
Morse Toad
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
A :Morse toad!
No Result Found
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a rose?
A: I’m not sure – but I wouldn’t try smelling it!
Dinosaur with high heals
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a dinosaur with high heels?
A: My-feet-are-saurus
Chicken crossed the road
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?
A: He was a dirty double crosser!
Neigh buzz
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you get if you cross a horse with a bee?
A: Neigh buzz
Like A coconut
(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)Loading...Q: How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
A: Climb a tree and act like a coconut.
Cow stop to drink
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Where does a cow stop to drink?
A: The milky way!
Man kills a deer
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue. Well, he said, ‘It’s what mummy calls me sometimes’. The little girl screams to her brother ‘Don’t eat it, it’s an asshole..
Fast food is so fast
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why don’t polar bears like fast food?
A: Because they can’t catch it!
Twelve foot tooth Brush
(1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedgehog?
A: A twelve-foot toothbrush
March Of Penguins
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What did Morgan Freeman say when Penguins told him they liked March of the Penguins?
A: Why the hell was I narrating it if Penguins can talk
Biharu lalu Yadav decide to learn English
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...So Lalu Yadav finally decides to learn English. An instructor extremely fluent in English is hired for the job.
The instructor fully confident claims that if he is locked up in a room with Lalu for a week he will surely teach him English. So the orderlies lock Lalu and the instructor in a room
When the room is opened after a week the instructor comes out and says .. “Eee Lalua ke angrezi sikhana to bahute mushkil baat ba”
Stable diet
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why are most horses in shape?
A: Because they are on a stable diet.
Tiger eats the comedian
(2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What happened when the tiger ate the comedian ?
A: He felt funny !
Mooney
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do cows get when they do all their chores?
A: Mooney.
Mehengi Jaga Chaltay Hai
(11 votes, average: 4.45 out of 5)Loading...Wife: Aji suniye, mujhe kisi mehengi jaga le ke chaliye na ji….
Husband: Chalo, tayyar ho jao…
Guess where he took her….
………
……..
…..
….
…
..
.
.
.
.
Petrol pump!!!
Leatherback Sec turtle
(6 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)Loading...Q: What is a Leatherback Sea Turtles favorite sandwich?
A: Peanut butter and jellyfish.
Nice way to leave ur nerdy husband
(10 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)Loading...
Blonde cheats Lawyer
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains how the game works: “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me, and visa-versa.” Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The chauvinistic lawyer figures that since his opponent is a blonde he will easily win the match, so he makes another offer:
“Okay, how about this “If you don’t know the answer you pay me only $5, but if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $50.” This catches the blonde’s attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, she agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?” The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it’s the blonde’s turn. She asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?”
The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour, of searching for the answer he finally gives up. He wakes the blonde and hands her $50.
The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little frustrated, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, so what IS the answer?” Again without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
Decalfenated
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do call a cow that has just had a calf?
A: Decalfenated
Three feet of my cock
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q:If you had a donkey and I had a chicken and if your donkey ate my chicken what will you have?
A:Three feet of my cock up your ass.
Nuts Won’t Fit
(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Why don’t squirrels wear skinny jeans?
A: Because their nuts won’t fit
Stupid One
(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: When does a giraffe have 8 legs?
A: When there are two of them!
Teddy bear race
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: How do you start a teddy bear race?
A: Ready, teddy, go!
Crocodile comedians
(3 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Why are crocodiles comedians so funny?
A: Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
Top 20 funny quotes
(29 votes, average: 3.52 out of 5)Loading...[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash.
[5] Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
[6] Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.
[7] You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
[8] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
[9] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
[10] Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
[11] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.
[12] Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
[13] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
[14] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
[15] You’re getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
[16] It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
[17] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
[18] It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
[19] There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
[20] There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!
Build herself a new House
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did the bunny build herself a new house?
A: She was fed up with the hole thing!
Bambooozled lose his dinner
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: How did the panda who lose his dinner?
A: He was “Bamboozled”!
Bihari in college
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Subject: A class in Bihar College This is a true incident which happened in a college: A new lecturer (also a Bihari professor) was unable to control the class. The guys were just talking without giving any attention to him. So he wanted to send a guy who was creating most of the problem out. But he doesn’t know how to put it in English. He went near the guy. Shouted “follow me” .The guy followed him till he went out of the class. Now the lecturer turned back and again shouted “Don’t follow me” and went inside the class……..
Bihari Professor.
Inside the Class:
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves -take the bigger half.
Shhh…Quiet, boys…the principal just passed away in the corridor.
You, meet me behind the class.
Both of you three, get out of the class.
Close the doors of the windows please .. I have winter in my nose today…
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver…..
Take 5 cm wire of any length….
Barney in an elevator
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What’s green and purple and goes up and down?
A: Barney in an elevator.
What Does He do?
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ”How much is the yellow one?” The assistant says, ” 2000.” The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it’s so expensive. The assistant explains, ”This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.” ”What about the green one?” the man asks. The assistant says, ”He costs 5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.” ”What about the red one?” the man asks. The assistant says, ”That one’s 10,000.” The man says, ”What does HE do?” The assistant says, ”I don’t know, but the other two call him boss.
A Guy walks in a bar with his pet Monkey
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking it the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?” The guy says, “No, what?” “He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!”, says the bartender. “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the patron. “He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I’ll pay for the cue ball and stuff.” He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he’s in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now?”, he asks. “Now what?”, responds the patron. “Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!” says the barkeeper. “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the patron. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!”
Fleece Navidad!!
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: “Fleece Navidad!”
World without engineers
(9 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Engineers had made our life very comfortable by using science and technology.
But have u ever imagined what would the world look like without engineers, If not then here r
some of the pics what would our life be like :-
Transportation
Egg crisize
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: How do chickens get strong?
A: Egg-cersize.
Bihari Headache :D
(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)Loading...A Bihari after coming back from a three hour long class says “Saala pura body headache maar raha hai “
Brown and white eat hamster
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q :What is white and brown and eats hamster food?
A: My hamster!
Blonde Pet zebra
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot!
Santa’s Reindeer
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q : Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners?
A : “Rude”-olph!
Bite off your head
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?
A: A tiger moth!
Call four female deer
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call four female deer?
A: FO REAL DOE
Otter with carrot
(4 votes, average: 3.25 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!
Caught peepin
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: He got caught peeping on a test.
A Brr-grrr
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do polar bears like to eat in the cold?
A: A “brrr”-“grrr”!
Got milk?
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What did one dairy cow say to another?
A: Got milk?
Shell Block
(5 votes, average: 2.80 out of 5)Loading...Q: Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
A: To the shell-block.
Millionare rabbit
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Did you hear about the rich rabbit?
A: He was a millionhare!
The Law Of The Jungle
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :What does a Gorilla attorney study?
A :The Law of the jungle!
Tiger with a snowman
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
A: Frostbite!
Llamagini is a fastest animal
(3 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a very fast llama?
A: a Llamagini
Vietanmese like ther soup
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: How do the Vietnamese like their soup?
A: Purrrrrfect.
Whale of a tale
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :How do you make a fish laugh?
A :Tell a whale of a tale.
End of Ramadan
(3 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Can I Stay
Here
In
Ur
InbOx
&
Wait Till The End Of Ramzan
So
That
I
Can B
The 1st Who
Wish
A
Very sweet
&
Happy Eid Mubarik
Raccoon with carrot
(3 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call an Raccoon with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!
Call a Frozen chart
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call a frozen dog?
A: A pupsicle.
Spelling bee
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What’s more amazing than a talking hippo?
A: A spelling bee!
T-Rex eat Hamburgers
(1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers?
A: Because he is a meat eater!
Cristmas is coming
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q : How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
A : He looks at his calen-“deer”!
She was a candy
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Did you hear about the donkey that was afraid to speak up for herself?
A: She was a candy-ass.
Tyrannosaurus want to sit
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay?
A: Anywhere he wants to.
Pride of Giraffe
(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
A: It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
Say to tha puppy
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What did the skeleton say to the puppy?
A: bonappetite
Sheep Dog with rose
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!
Mooolasses
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What does a cow put on his french toast?
A: Moooolasses.
Gatorade
(4 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do alligators drink before a race?
A: Gator-Ade.
Cross owl with oester
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you get when you cross an owl and an oyster?
A: Pearls of Wisdom
Monkey’s Uncle
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Did you hear about the man who can jump from tree to tree?
A: He was a monkey’s uncle.
Crocodile presents on christmas
(4 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)Loading...Q: Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
A: Santa Jaws!
Saturday morning
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...It was Saturday morning and John, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Mary, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage. John asks her, “What are you up to?” Mary smiles, “I’m going hunting with you!” John, though he has many reservations, reluctantly decides to take her along. They arrive at the hunting site. John sets his wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her: “If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I’ll come running back as soon as I hear the shot.” John walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Mary couldn’t bag an elephant — much less a deer. But not 10 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots. Quickly, John starts running back. As John gets closer to her stand, he hears Mary screaming, “Get away from my deer!” Confused, John races faster towards his screaming wife. And again he hears her yell, “Get away from my deer!” followed by another volley of gunfire. Now within sight of where he had left his wife, John is surprised to see a cowboy, with his hands high in the air. The cowboy, obviously distraught, says, “Okay, lady, okay! You can have your deer! Just let me get my saddle off it!”‘
Horse Wearing a Venetian Blind
(3 votes, average: 2.33 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds?
A: A zebra!
Baaa-stile day
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call sheep taking over France?
A: Baaaa-stile Day.
Dinosaur slept all day
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Which dinosaur slept all day ?
A: The dino-snore!
Milking stool have
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Why does a milking stool have only three legs?
A: Because the cow has the udder
Frogs are happy
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q :Why are frogs so happy?
A :They eat watever bugs them!
Smoking Cigarette
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q. How do you know when your cat’s done cleaning herself?
A. She’s smoking a cigarette.
Mooooove Over
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What did one cow say to the other?
A: Mooooooove over!
Different between OJ simpson
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What’s the difference between OJ Simpson and the Sharks?
A: OJ Simpson had a more credible defence…
Otter knows how to drive ?
(6 votes, average: 2.83 out of 5)Loading...Q: An otter and an otter are in a car, who’s driving?
A: Animal Control
Squirrel For the Holiday
(2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: How do you catch a squirrel for the holidays?
A: Climb a tree and act like nutmeg.
Frogs haven’t so many legs
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs?
A :They sit eggsaminations!
Chickens foot
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did the piece of gum cross the road?
A: Because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Old neigh-vy
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Where do horses shop?
A: Old Neigh-vy!
grape under porcupine
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What did the grape say when the Porcupine stood on it? A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Headmaster and Buflings
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?
A: Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth!
Rabbit with no hair
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you get when you find a rabbit with no hair?
A: A hairless hare!
Crocodile with GPS
(5 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a crocodile with GPS?
A: A Navi-gator.
Owl caught in the act
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call an owl caught in the act?
A: Spotted!
Hippo with carrot
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a hippo with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!
Preeto getting hot
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Preeto: aji , aaj kuch ajiha karo ke mere pasine nikal jaan.
Banta : uthiyan te AC & pankhe da switch off kar dita.
Rabbit using computer
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do rabbits put in their computers?
A: Hoppy disks!
Its whale Of a Tale
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Have you heard of Flight of the Penguins (sequel to March)?
A: Its a whale of a tale
Call group of chicken
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A: A Hensemble.
Gorilla with Machine
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What’s black and dangerous and lives in a tree?
A: A gorilla with a machine gun.
one night challenge for man
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should’ve known… ONLY women would be able to drag a fat jolly old man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
Sas-gorilla
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What’s a monkey’s favourite drink?
A: A sas-gorilla.
Nasty Wife
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...A guy brings a raccoon home , tells his wife it’s a pet. She asks , “Where are you going to keep it?” He repies , “In the bedroom.” “But what about that horrible nasty smell?’ , she asks. “I got used to you , I’m sure he will too!
terrible lawyers
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why do sharks make terrible lawyers?
A: They’re too nice!
Women call a frog
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A :What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Q :Lilly.
Donkey that can go
(2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a Donkey that can go 0-40 in 3.4 seconds?
A: Fibergl-ass
Shell-arious ones
(3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)Loading...Q: What kind of jokes do sea turtles tell?
A: Shell-arious ones!
Master to santa
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Master bachiya nu puchda hai, daso vade ho ke tusi ki banna chaoge?
shunty : me Engineer banna chanda haan.
bunty : me doctor banna chanda haan.
dipti : me achi maa banna chandi haan.
santa : te me dipti di madad karna chanda haan.
Horse say to other horse
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What did one horse say to the other horse?
A: The pace is familiar but I can’t remember the mane.
In tha pasture
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Where do you put 2 horses that just broken up?
A: In the pasture
How to get new watch
(27 votes, average: 3.96 out of 5)Loading...
Tiger sing at Christmas
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do tigers sing at Christmas?
A: Jungle bells!jungle bells!
Cuckoo-cluck
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call a crazy chicken?
A: A cuckoo cluck!
Ferret favourite song
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What is a ferret’s favorite song?
A: Dook, dook, dook, dook of Earl…
Horse that lose a race
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race?
A: Sherbet
Farmers milk them dry
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why don’t cows have any money?
A: Because farmers milk them dry
Embarrassed Elephant
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :What’s grey but turns red?
A :An embarrassed elephant!
He’s a Rain -deer
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q : Why is Prancer always wet?
A : Because he’s a “rain”-deer!
Rabbits learns how to fly
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Where do rabbits learn how to fly?
A: In the hare force!
Long Turtle
(9 votes, average: 1.56 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a turtle with 6 feet?
A: A 6-foot turtle.
Shark terk
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What is a sharks favorite sci-fi show
A: Shark Trek
Coutnt them all
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds?
A: Yes, 8 Iguanadons and 2 Stegasaurus.
Pickup your truck
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of badgers. He pulls the guy over and says… “You can’t drive around with badgers in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately.” The guy says “OK”… and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of badgers, and they’re all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands… “I thought I told you to take these badgers to the zoo yesterday?” The guy replies… “I did . . . today I’m taking them to the beach!”
moron platy
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did the Platypus cross the road?
A: Because he wanted to see his flat mate.
Gorilla playing quiddtich
(1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a gorilla playing quidditch?
A: A hairy potter!!
Prancer always wet
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q : Why is Prancer always wet?
A : Because he’s a “rain”-deer!
Gazalles
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...What’s red and white and gives presents to gazelles? Santelope!
Frogs listens music
(1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Q :What kind of music do frogs listen to?
A :Hip Hop
Tiger Eat Lion
(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)Loading...Q: Would you rather have a tiger eat your or a lion?
A: I would rather have a tiger eat a lion.
Call a Dinasaur
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A: Try and try and try and try-ceratops
It just let out a wine
(6 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)Loading...Q: What did the grape say when the otter stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
T-rex cross road
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did the t-rex cross the road?
A: Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet
100 Camels for Wife
(49 votes, average: 3.31 out of 5)Loading...US tourists, a man and his wife are traveling in the Middle East. An Arab approaches the husband, saying, “I’ll give you 100 camels for your woman.”
After a long silence, the husband says, “She’s not for sale.”
The indignant wife says, “What took you so long to answer?”
The husband replied, “I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home.”
Police de gadi te ghar wali
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Police di gadi te gharwali wich common ki h?
dono apne aan te bda shor machande hai.
Difference between Dog and Alligtaor
(2 votes, average: 1.50 out of 5)Loading...Q: What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A: One’s bark is worst than his bite.
Get me a beer before it starts
(13 votes, average: 4.15 out of 5)Loading...A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.”
The wife sighs and gets him a beer.
Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me another beer before it starts.”
She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.
He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it’s going to start any minute.”
The wife is furious. She yells at him,
“Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob and furthermore . . .”
The man sighs and says, “It’s started.”
Worst then a bite
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :Why couldn’t the Gorilla pitcher make it in the major leagues?
A :His balk was worse than his bite!
Toad become lighthouse keeper
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper?
A: He had his own frog horn!
Miserable guy in the bar
(14 votes, average: 2.79 out of 5)Loading...A guy rushes into a bar, orders four expensive 30-year-old single malts and has the bartender line them up in front of him.
Then without pausing, he quickly downs each one. “Whew”, the bartender remarked, “you seem to be in a hurry.”
“You would be too if you had what I have.”
“What do you have?” the bartender sympathetically asked.
“Fifty cents.”
Why do you have Breast on your back
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...The elephant asked the camel: “Why do you have your breasts on your back?” The camel clearly irritated by the outrage of modesty replies: “What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face.”
Cross gator and Poison Frog
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :What do you get when you cross a gator and a poison frog?
A :A croakadile.
Stegosaurus
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels?
A: A Stegosaurus on roller skates!
Alchoholic skunk
(2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)Loading...A man and his pet skunk walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my skunk.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the skunk falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a skunk.”
Blind Jockey in a race
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...
A jockey is about to enter an race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘ALLLLEEE OOOP!’ really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do that, you’ll be fine.”
The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer’s ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers “Aleeee ooop” in the horse’s ear. The same thing happens – the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, “It’s no good, I’ll have to do it,” and yells, “ALLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.
The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, “Nothing is wrong with me – it’s this bloody horse. What is he – deaf or something?”
The trainer replies, “Deaf? Deaf?! He’s not deaf. He’s blind!” 😀 😀
Human balls
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do cat sharks cough up?
A: Human balls.
I got in the back seat by mistake
(4 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)Loading...A drunken man phoned the local police department to report that thieves had been in his car.
“They have stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator,” he cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time, and the same voice came over the line.
“Never mind,” the drunk said with a hiccup. “I got in the back seat by mistake.”
Caramel coated popcorn
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What brand of caramel-coated popcorn and peanuts do sharks prefer?
A: Cracker Sharks
Stinky winkey donkey
(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye while breaking wind ? A:
A stinkey winkey wonkey donkey
Rabbit wearing Glasses
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A: Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses!
Girls of my Ex-boyfriend
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :Girl: One of my ex-boyfriends sounds like an owl. Boy:
A :Who?
Wear Sunglasses
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q : Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses to the Christmas party?
A : Because he didn’t want to be recognised!
Gadget Freak..!!
(35 votes, average: 3.74 out of 5)Loading...
A mathematician organizes a raffle
(9 votes, average: 3.11 out of 5)Loading...A mathematician organizes a raffle in which the prize is an infinite amount of money paid over an infinite amount of time.
Of course, with the promise of such a prize, his tickets sell like hot cake. When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the mode of payment:
“1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that…”
splatter pus
(1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you get when you cross a Platypus and a Steamroller?
A: Splatterpus
not good for health
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q : Why is a reindeer like a gossip?
A : Because they are both tail bearers
Baby Giraffes
(2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do giraffes have that no one else has?
A: Baby giraffes!
it all happened so fast
(6 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)Loading...A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day. A gang of snails approach him and beat him up for 7 hours. He is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises. Several hours later, he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station. Herman walks into the Sergeant’s office. “What happened to you? the officer asks. “A gang of snails beat me up,” Herman replied. “Can you describe what they looked like?” “I don’t know,” the sloth says. “It all happened so fast.”
Box of quackers
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call a crate of ducks?
A: A box of quackers
Cross a gator
(2 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you get when you cross a gator and a poison frog?
A: A croak-odile.
Shark make the best
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What kind of sharks make the best pog players?
A: Slammerheads!
Play cards in Jungle
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
A: There are too many cheetahs there!
Little wine
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What did the grape say when the Lemur stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Toad die
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q :How did the toad die?
A :He simply croaked!
moltiplication
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
A: Moletiplication
Abbreviation of ABCDEFG & GFEDCBA
(20 votes, average: 4.35 out of 5)Loading...What is ABCDEFG?
A Boy Can Do Everything For a Girl!
But what is GFEDCBA? (The Opposite)
Girl Forgets Everything Done and Catches new Boy Again!
Avagadro is so rich
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why is Avogadro so rich?
A: He’s a multi-mole-ionare!
They beat eggs
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why don’t chickens like people?
A: They beat eggs!
Dear calls hunters
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do deers call hunters?
A: Doe foes.
To prove his Possum
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Why did the Koala cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Slide down the banana sitter
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: How do gorillas get down the stairs?
A: They slide down the banana-ster!
Find somewhere else to sleep
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ?
A: Find somewhere else to sleep!
Hello-hello
(2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur?
A: Hello, hello!
A battered puss
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a deep fried platypus?
A: A battered-pus
World Weakest Animal
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :Whats the world weakest animal?
A :A toad, he croaks if you even touch him!
Unique Rabbit
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on it!
prove my possum
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did the badger cross the road? A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!
what are you doing?
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a grasshopper sitting next to him. “Are you a grasshopper?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes.” “What are you doing at the movies?” The grasshopper replied, “Well, I liked the book.
Drinking crazy
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A man and his pet seagull walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my seagull.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the seagull falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a seagull.”
Bird that talks
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A: A bird that talks your ear off!
Don’t be aggressive on Eid day..
(3 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5)Loading...Wishing You HAPPY EID MUBARAK in Advance For The Following 10 Yerar,
2011
2012
2013
2014
2015
2016
2017
2018
2019
2020
Agar Coming 10 Years Main Aap Ko Koi Pehlay Wish Karnay Ka Dawa Karay,
Tau Aik Rakh Kay Chamaat Daina Aur Yeh SMS Dikha Daina.
O.K
Don’t Delete It.
Bugs Bunny !
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you get when you cross an insect and a rabbit?
A: Bugs Bunny!
Hamster cant run in a wheel
(3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)Loading...Q : What do you call a hamster that can’t run in a wheel?
A : Hamateur.
Lawn moo-er
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A :A lawn moo-er.
Hamster upset with his job
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q :Why was the Hamster upset with his job?
A: It didn’t pay enough salary (celery).
Raccoon stand on it
(1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What did the grape say when the Raccoon stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Dino-Store
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Where did Velociraptor buy things?
A: At a dino-store!
Tiger on a Pogo Stick
(2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)Loading...Q: Whats striped and bouncy?
A: A tiger on a pogo stick!
show your skunks
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?
A: A phew!
I’m waiting on my house
(3 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5)Loading...There’s this drunk man standing out on the street corner.
A cop passes by and says, “What do you think you’re doing?”
The drunk says, “I heard the world goes around every 24 hours and I’m waiting on my house. Won’t be long now, there goes my neighbour.”
Anywhere he wants too
(2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Where does a tiger sleep?
A: Anywhere he wants to!
Gorilla need to open a banana?
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What sort of key does a gorilla need to open a banana?
A: A monk-key!
Name for twins
(11 votes, average: 4.36 out of 5)Loading...Raabert had twins and comes to the “Boss”…..
Raabert: Boss, mere dono bachon ke liye koi naam bataiye..
Ajeet: Ek ka naam rakho Peter….
Raabert: boss or doosre ka ?
Ajeet: Repeater.
Blubbering Gum
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :What did the shark say to the whale?
A: What are you blubbering about?
Big Fingers
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers!
Healthy Rabbit
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What’s the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd rabbit?
A: One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!
Clever Prisoner and the prison guard
(18 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)Loading...A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: “Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some flowers in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?”
The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: “Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money.”
A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife:“Dear Husband, You wouldn’t believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up the entire back garden.”
The prisoner wrote another letter back: “Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the flower.”
Cow laughs to hard
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What happens when a cow laughs too hard?
A: It Cowlapses!
Mooooved to tear
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call a sad cow?
A: Mooooved to tears.
Evaporated milk
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What does an invisible man drink?
A: Evaporated milk!
Feet are Saurus
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a dinosaur with high heels?
A: My-feet-are-saurus
blind reindeer
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q : What do you call a blind reindeer?
A : No eye deer (no idea)
Half chicken cross the road
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did half a chicken cross the road?
A: To get to its other side!
Sir???
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q :What do you call a hamster that can pick up an elephant ?
A: Sir!
They have Big fingers
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: They have big fingers.
600 Pound Gorilla
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q:What do you feed a 600 pound Gorilla?
A:Anything it wants!
Clever politician of India
(10 votes, average: 4.30 out of 5)Loading...NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars.Only one person could go, and he will not return to Earth.
The first applicant, an American engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going.
“A million dollars”, he answered, “because I wish to donate it to M.I.T.”
The next applicant, a Russian doctor, was asked the same question.
]He asked for two million dollars. “I wish to give a million to my family, he explained,
“and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.”
The last applicant was our Indian politician (Lallu Prasad Yadav).
When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer’s ear, “Three million dollars.”
“Why so much more than the others?” the interviewer asked.
The Indian Politician replied, $1 million is for you, I’ll keep $1
million,and we’ll give the American engineer $1million and send him to Mars”
I’m Saying Grace
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...An Arctic explorer came face to face with a polar bear. Afraid of being eaten, he fell to his knees and started praying. When the polar bear knelt down beside him and started praying too, the man shouted, “It’s a miracle!” The polar bear opened one eye and said “Don’t talk while I’m saying grace.”
Dusky husky
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call a black Eskimo dog?
A: A dusky husky!
Do sitting on Rabbit
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit?
A: A chili dog on a bun!
Ugly boy
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a bb gun in one hand and a grasshopper in the other. “Now Listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy. “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”
Bite the bullet
(2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
A: He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
Talking lemur…
(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What’s more amazing than a talking Lemur?
A: A spelling bee!
2013 which dunya khtm?
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Santa: graduation karan toh bad dobara nursery di padhai start kar denda hai?
Banta: nusrsery di padhai Q kar riha h?
Santa: 2013 wich duniya khatam h…me sochiya hune to padhai start kar dwan
Owl invite his friend
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did the Owl invite his friends over?
A: He didn’t want to be Owl by himself.
Little Whrose
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call a promiscious pony?
A: A Little Whorse
Do you like whales
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :Do you like whales?
A : Cause we can go hump back at my place.
Shark Hudson
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Who is the shark communitys favorite 1950s film actor
A: Shark Hudson
Goat With Beer
(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...Q :What do you call a goat with a beard?
A :Goatee!
Alchoholic badger
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...A man and his pet badger walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my badger.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the badger falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a badger.”
I know its early
(3 votes, average: 2.33 out of 5)Loading...I know its too early…
but l have hundreds of boys and pretty girls to wish…
So I decided to finish off Uncles & Aunties first!
Bluebird
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you call a sad bird?
A: A bluebird!
Little of mittens
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
A: She had a litter of mittens.
Owl City
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Where do you go for a good time?
A: Owl City.
Horse like Fast food
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do race horses eat?
A: Fast Food.
What do ou call a toad spy?
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What do you call a toad spy?
A: A croak and dagger agent!
Bullshit
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What family does Maiasaur belong to?
A: I don’t think any families in our neighborhood have one!
Two rabbits on rollerblades
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels?
A: Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
Bones in the ground
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can’t bury them in trees!
Whale of tale
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :How do you make a Gorilla laugh?
A :Tell it a whale of a tale!
At the Spawn shop
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :Where do you get frogs eggs?
A :At the spawn shop!
Chicks to talk
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
A: Because talk is cheep!
Goat at sea
(1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)Loading...Q :What do you call a goat at sea?
A :Billy Ocean.
Monkey go to drink
(1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: Where do monkeys go to drink?
A: The monkey bars!
A little otter
(3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)Loading...Q: What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter.
A: A little (h)otter
The Bear Hug
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q :Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?
A :The bear hug!
My Hearing is Perfect Now
(15 votes, average: 2.93 out of 5)Loading...A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”
“Really,” answered the neighbor . “What kind is it?”
“Twelve thirty.”
Mickey Moose
(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Loading...Q: What do you get when you cross a mouse and a deer?
A: Mickey Moose
Owl owling
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Why did the owl, owl?
A: Because the woodpecker would peck ‘er!
End of th window
(No Ratings Yet)Loading...Q: Where do toads keep their treasure?
A: In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow!
Stork stand on one leg