Twelve foot tooth Brush

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedgehog?
A: A twelve-foot toothbrush

In the Dark

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ?
A: In the dark!

Tierd Elephant

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Why did the elephant leave the circus?
A :He was tired of working for peanuts.

Eid Mubarak with Siwayian

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

May Your Plate Of Life Be Always Full Of Sweet Siwaiyan

Topped With The Nuts Of Happiness.

With Best EID WISHES,May You Have A Happy Eid

Kong-vict

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q:What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner?
A: A Kong-vict!

Llamas and alpacas

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What’s the diffrenece between llamas and alpacas?
A: Alpacas have more dark meat!

Bihari teacher had once gone to cenima

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A Bihari teacher had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did not see them. So the next day at school…
” Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre”

Shark eart for dinner

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What does a shark eat for dinner?
A: Whatever it wants!

Mooolasses

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What does a cow put on his french toast?
A: Moooolasses.

Thieving Alligators

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 3.25 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a thieving alligator?
A: A crookodile

Raining cats and dogs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

gif-hamster-1809066

 

 

 

 

 

Q :When do hamsters run away from rain?
A: When its raining cats and dogs!

Hire a teddy bear

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do you hire a teddy bear?
A: Put him on stilts!

600 Pound Gorilla

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q:What do you feed a 600 pound Gorilla?
A:Anything it wants!

Stick together

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do crows stick together in a flock?
A: Velcrow.

Llama spirtual leader

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Who is the llama spiritual leader?
A: The Dalai Llama

Horse Cross the road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the horse cross the road?
A: Because somebody shouted hay!

Ten pounds difference

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Whats the difference between your mom and an African Elephant?
A :Ten pounds.

Picnic Basket

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What was Yogi bear looking for in the picnic basket?
A: Just the “Bear” necessities.

A Really Bad Day (joke)

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (23 votes, average: 4.70 out of 5)
Loading...

There was a guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying.

Man at bar

The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand to see a man cry.”

No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me.

When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing.

I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away.”

“I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar.

And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.”

Have a stupid dog

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How can if you have a stupid dog?
A: It chases parked cars!

elephant

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a platypus that can pick up an elephant ?
A: Sir!

Dino – sewer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Who makes dinosaur clothes?
A: dino-sewer.

I’m Saying Grace

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

An Arctic explorer came face to face with a polar bear. Afraid of being eaten, he fell to his knees and started praying. When the polar bear knelt down beside him and started praying too, the man shouted, “It’s a miracle!” The polar bear opened one eye and said “Don’t talk while I’m saying grace.”

Whale of a tale

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :How do you make a fish laugh?
A :Tell a whale of a tale.

Two legged animal

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: If a four-legged animal a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, what’s a tiger?
A: Stri-ped.

Avagadro love to mash

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Avogadro loved to watch MASH. Which character did he like most?
A: Father Molecahy

Penguin Rolling Down

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What’s black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white?
A: A penguin rolling down a hill

Brrrritos like

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do Penguins like to eat?
A: Brrrrrrrritos.

Lo Bhaiya hum to doob gye..!!

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Bihar government announced Rs 50,000 to every family with 5 children in home.

Pandey had 4 so he tells his wife – Meri girlfriend se mera 1 baccha hai, usey le aata hu. 5 ho jayenge aur Govt 50,000 de degi hume..

Pandey baccha leke ghar aaya aur usne wife se puchha – Baccha aa gaya hai. Hamare 4 kahan hain ?

Wife boli – Jis Jis ke thay woh le gaye.. !!

The calf-eteria

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Where do cows go for lunch?
A: The calf-eteria.

Butter on the farm

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What do you call the best ‘butter’ on the farm?
A :A goat!

Turtle During Winter

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (6 votes, average: 1.83 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What does a turtle do during winter?
A: Sit by the fire and worm himself up.

Catch an English Squirrel

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do you catch an English Squirrel?
A: Climb a tree and act like nutty.

Coca-Koala!

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (6 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What’s a Koalas favorite drink?
A: Coca Koala!

Q: What did one chicken say to

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
A: “You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”

Anything she wants

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat?
A: Anything she wants!

This one will seigh you

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : What do reindeer always say before telling you a joke?
A : This one will “sleigh” you!

Ball Point Gorilla

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What’s black, hairy, and writes under water?
A : A ball-point gorilla!

Ferret favourite song

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is a ferret’s favorite song?
A: Dook, dook, dook, dook of Earl…

Students of new age

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (109 votes, average: 3.60 out of 5)
Loading...

Teacher: U idiots! At your age Einstein ranked first in class.
What about you?

 Student teacher

Student: Sir at your age Hitler committed suicide..!
What about you?

Girl friend like alligator

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get a girl that likes crocodiles?
A: All I got her is shoes.

Shark cross the road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the shark cross the road?
A: To get to the other tide!

Alligator at dinner

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What’s worse than one alligator coming to dinner?
A: Two alligators coming to dinner

Miserable guy in the bar

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (14 votes, average: 2.79 out of 5)
Loading...

A guy rushes into a bar, orders four expensive 30-year-old single malts and has the bartender line them up in front of him.

Then without pausing, he quickly downs each one. “Whew”, the bartender remarked, “you seem to be in a hurry.”
Beer-bar

“You would be too if you had what I have.”

“What do you have?” the bartender sympathetically asked.

“Fifty cents.”

Call a Spy Frog

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What do you call a frog spy?
A :A croak and dagger agent!

Stripey sweater

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?
A: A stripey sweater!

Lion eaten your mother

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother’s sister?
A: An aunt-eater!

Nobody’s herd

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What happened to the lost cattle?
A: Nobody’s herd.

Hop-scotch

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What do drunk toads play?
A :Hop-scotch

Stupid One

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: When does a giraffe have 8 legs?
A: When there are two of them!

Owl with a carrot

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a Owl with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

Tusk fairy.!

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What grey, has a wand, huge wings and gives money to elephants?
A :The tusk fairy!

Dowm in mouth

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow?
A: Down in the mouth!

one night challenge for man

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should’ve known… ONLY women would be able to drag a fat jolly old man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Dinosaur floats

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do you make a dinosaur float?
A: Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur !

Time to go home

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (5 votes, average: 3.40 out of 5)
Loading...

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar and orders a double martini on the rocks.

After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.

Tavern

The bartender says, “Look, buddy, I’ll bring ya’ martinis all night long but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill.”

The customer replies, “I’m peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it’s time to go home.”

Shell-arious ones

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What kind of jokes do sea turtles tell?
A: Shell-arious ones!

Long distance caw

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
A :He wanted to make a long distance caw.

2013 which dunya khtm?

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Santa: graduation karan toh bad dobara nursery di padhai start kar denda hai?
Banta: nusrsery di padhai Q kar riha h?
Santa: 2013 wich duniya khatam h…me sochiya hune to padhai start kar dwan

BMW is less smarter

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What’s the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

A: The pricks are on the outside on a porcupine!

Cross platypus

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a platypus with a king-sized dinner?

A: A fatty-pus.

At the South Pole

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Where do penguins go swimming?
A: At the South Pool!

Sheeps are such a bad drivers

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why are sheep baaaaaad drivers?
A: They always make illegal ewe turns.

Cross snake and frog

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A :A jumprope!

A Guy walks in a bar with his pet Monkey

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking it the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?” The guy says, “No, what?” “He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!”, says the bartender. “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the patron. “He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I’ll pay for the cue ball and stuff.” He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he’s in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now?”, he asks. “Now what?”, responds the patron. “Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!” says the barkeeper. “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the patron. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!”

Frog with no hind legs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What do you call a frog with no hind legs?
A :Unhoppy!

Camooflauged

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a cow you can’t see?
A: Camooflauged.

Mehengi Jaga Chaltay Hai

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (11 votes, average: 4.45 out of 5)
Loading...

Wife: Aji suniye, mujhe kisi mehengi jaga le ke chaliye na ji….

Husband: Chalo, tayyar ho jao…

Husband wife going expensive place

Guess where he took her….
………
……..
…..
….

..
.
.
.
.

Petrol pump!!!

man with cliff

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a man with seagull on his head?
A: Cliff

Lemur cross the road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the Lemur cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

All of the organs laughed at Anus :D

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

download

All of the organs are deciding who should be in charge:

“I should be in charge,” said the brain , “I run all the body’s systems, without me nothing would happen.”

“I should be in charge,” said the heart , “I circulate oxygen and nutrients all over.”

“No! I should be in charge,” said the stomach, “I process the food that gives us energy.”

“I should be in charge,” said the legs, “without me the body couldn’t go anywhere.”

“I should be in charge,” said the eyes, “I allow the body to see where it goes.” “I should be in charge,” said the anus, “I am responsible for waste removal.”

All of the other body parts laughed at the anus and insulted him. So he shut down. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the heart pumped toxic blood. They all decided that the anus should be the boss.
, What is the moral of the story? Even though everybody else does all of the work the ass hole is usually in charge. 😀 😀

Devout Cowboy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the savannah. Three weeks later, a Hippopotamus walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the Hippos mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the Hippo. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

Cuckoo-cluck

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a crazy chicken?
A: A cuckoo cluck!

Hot croaka

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do toads drink?
A: Hot croako!

Orchestra and a bull

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull?
A: On the bull the horns are in the front and the asshole is in the back.

Nuts Won’t Fit

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why don’t squirrels wear skinny jeans?
A: Because their nuts won’t fit

Solitary sharks

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a solitary shark
A: A “lone” (loan) shark

Dogs favourite city

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is the dogs favorite city?
A: New Yorkie!

Dinosaur should be fed up

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed?
A: Exactly the same as short dinosaurs !

Alligator Shoes

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A man was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However he was not prepared to pay the high prices, and after having failed to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, ended up shouting “I don’t give two hoots for your shoes man, I’ll go and kill my own “croc!,” to which the shopkeeper replied, “by all means, just watch out for those two “ole boys” who are doing the same!”. So the man went out into the Bayou, and after a while saw two men with spears, standing still in the water. ‘They must be the ‘ole boys’ he thought. Just at that point he noticed an alligator moving in the water towards one of them. The guy stood completely passive, even as the gator came ever closer. Just as the beast was about to swallow the him, he struck home with his spear and wrestled the gator up onto the beach, where several already laying Together the two guys threw the gator onto its back, where-upon one exclaimed “Darn! This one doesn’t have any shoes either!”.

Horses bad manners

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the horse eat with its mouth open?
A: Because it had bad stable manners!

Lumberjack sharks

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why didnt the lumberjack shark believe in God
A: He chose log-shark (logic)

Please hop on!

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did the bus conductor say to the toad?
A: Hop on!

Sardar reaction on weather forecast

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (9 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Once a Sardar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so.

1-hand-in-glove

He Replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

Sloth learning new language

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: When does a sloth go “moo”?
A: When it is learning a new language!

Dino sore

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor?
A: Dino-sore!

What happens at Sunday morning at 11?

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (18 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

This case happened in a hospital’s Intensive care ward where Patients always died in the same bed and on all Sunday morning at 11a.m, regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.

So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves
what the terrible phenomenon was all about
.

Doctors

Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil……..
Just when the Clock struck 11…

And then……

then…..

then……..

sweeper

Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward, unplugged the life support system and plugged in the vacuum cleaner.

Giraffe winning a horse race

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A: A longshot.

Get me a beer before it starts

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (13 votes, average: 4.15 out of 5)
Loading...

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.”

The wife sighs and gets him a beer.

Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me another beer before it starts.”

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.

He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it’s going to start any minute.”

Men-watching-tv
The wife is furious. She yells at him,

Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob and furthermore . . .”

The man sighs and says, “It’s started.”

Elephant crossing the road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Why did the elephant cross the road?
A :Because the Elephant was having a day off!

Whale of tale

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :How do you make a Gorilla laugh?
A :Tell it a whale of a tale!

Pollunomial Parrots

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a parrot that doesn’t eat?
A: A polynomeal (polynomial)

Illegaly Parked Frog

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What do you call an illegally parked frog?
A :Toad.

Moos-quitos

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What has antlers and sucks blood?
A: A moose-quito!

Tire-annosaurus

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What made the dinosaur’s car stop ?
A: A flat Tire-annosaurus !

Fleece Navidad!!

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: “Fleece Navidad!”

Nuts to the moon

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a donkey throwing nuts to the moon?
A: An ass throw nut (astronaut).

Sheep Arrested

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why was the sheep arrested on the freeway?
A: Because she did a ewe-turn!

Quack me up

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the bunny say to the duck?
A: You quack me up!

Dinosaucer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet?
A: A Dinosaucer

Shark favourite james

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What was the shark;s favorite James Joyce novel
A: FINnegan’s wake

Eggs Stinks

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why are dinosaurs no longer around?
A: Because their eggs stink.

Donkey Auction

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get cross an optimetrist convention and a donkey auction?
A: Two eyegl-asses for the price of one.

Out of the way

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when a dinosaur blows it’s nose?
A: OUT of the way!!

Speak to his foot

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why didn’t the dog speak to his foot?
A: Because it’s not polite to talk back to your paw!

ferret with carrot

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call an ferret with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

Rottweiller in Cenima

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Where does a Rottweiller sit in the cinema?
A: Anywhere it wants to!

Pay the taxi fare

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why didn’t the platypus pay the taxi driver?
A: Because he only had a one-dollar-bill!

Owls are Clever then chicken

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do you know that owls are cleverer than chickens?
A: Have you ever heard of Kentucky-fried owl!

Alligators does Tricks

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 2.25 out of 5)
Loading...

A guy walks into a bar with a crocodile. The bartender goes, “You can’t bring that animal in here!” But the guy says, “Hey, he does tricks. Watch!” He taps on the crocodile’s head, and the beast opens its mouth. The guy unzips his pants, whips out his vulnerable member, and puts it in the crocodile’s mouth. Then he taps on the crocodile’s head again, and the beast closes its mouth. Everyone in the bar is aghast. The guy gets his penis out, and he goes, “I’ll give 100 bucks to anyone who can do that.” Everyone is really, really quiet. Suddenly, a drunk shouts, “I… I think I can do that. But I don’t think I can leave my mouth open that long!”

lemur learning language

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: When does a Lemur go “roarrrr”?
A: When it is learning a new language!

Drizzle bears

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What are polar bears called when they get caught in the rain?
A: Drizzly bears.

Catch a Gay Squirrel

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (5 votes, average: 2.20 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How can you catch a gay squirrel?
A: Climb a tree and pretend to be an almond (botanically speaking, almonds are fruits).

sloth get fired

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
A: He would only do the BEAR minimum.

Vidal Baboon

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Where do gorillas like to get their hair cut?
A: Vidal Baboon!

Pleased to eat you now

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
A: ‘Pleased to eat you.’!

Open toad sandals

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
A : Open toad sandals!

Dogs with no legs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter…. he’s not going to come anyway.

Seal in each Paw

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What’s a balanced diet for a polar bear?
A: A seal in each paw!

Dirty double crosser

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again?
A: Because he was a dirty double-crosser!

Rabbits in aircondition

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime?
A: They have hare conditioning!

Hide and Speak

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What is a parrot’s favorite game?
A: Hide and Speak!

In tha pasture

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Where do you put 2 horses that just broken up?
A: In the pasture

Snore-a-sorus

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that’s a loud sleeper?
A: A Snore-a-sorus

Fall – Adelphia

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed by a Gorilla jumping off a tall building?
A: Fall-adelphia!

Raat ko koi awaz to nai ayi ?

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Pappu : Kal papa kue wich gir gye, badi shattan lagi, bade chiilla rhe si.

Banta : hun ki hal hai ?

Pappu : Thik hi hone, raat to kue toh koi awaz nahi ayi

They have Gorilla War

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do monkeys do when they’re mad at each other?
A: They have a Gorilla war!

splatter pus

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a Platypus and a Steamroller?
A: Splatterpus

Chicks to talk

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
A: Because talk is cheep!

hamster on Spring break

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :Where does a hamster go for Spring Break?
A: Hamsterdam!

Turtle Wax

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (8 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why is turtle wax so expensive?
A: Because their ears are so small!

Scientist Crossed zebra and Donkey

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Did you know that scientists crossed a zebra and a donkey?
A: They called it a zeedonk.

Pet ferret

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A guy brings a ferret home , tells his wife it’s a pet. She asks , “Where are you going to keep it?” He repies , “In the bedroom.” “But what about that horrible nasty smell?’ , she asks. “I got used to you , I’m sure he will too!”

Short Dinosaur

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed?
A: Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!

Toad die

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :How did the toad die?
A :He simply croaked!

Broke the moled

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why was there only one Avogadro?
A: When they made him, they broke the Moled

Star warts

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
A: Star Warts!

A little wine

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the grape say when the hippopotamus stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Peanut better type

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ?
A: A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!

hitchicking toad

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you say to a hitchhiking toad?
A: Hop in!

millioinare skunk

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How much money does a skunk have?
A: One scent!

Reindeer stops lunch

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Where do the reindeer like to stop for lunch? “Deery” Queen!

Tyrannosaurus want to sit

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay?
A: Anywhere he wants to.

Call Long John Silver

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call Long John Silver when he has a cat on his shoulder?
A: A purr-ate!

Deviled Eggs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter?
A: Deviled eggs!

T-rex cross road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the t-rex cross the road?
A: Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet

Hippo learns language

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: When does a hippo go “mooooo”?
A: When it is learning a new language!

Long distance

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ?
A: Long distance!

Gorilla with Machine

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s black and dangerous and lives in a tree?
A: A gorilla with a machine gun.

Sheep Dog with rose

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!

Dog taking a bath

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What kind of dog likes taking a bath?
A: a shampoodle!

Leave his momma

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
A: Because he couldn’t bear it!

Moody Cow

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
A: An animal that’s in a baaaaaaaad moooooood.

Meals on Wheels

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the Polar Bear say when it saw a seal on a skateboard?
A: “Meals on Wheels!”

Teenage mutant ninja turtle

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What happens when you get into fight with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?
A: You get shell shocked.

Jumbo Jet

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What do you call an elephant that flies?
A :A jumbo jet!

Raining cats and dogs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What happens when a dog chases a cat into a geysur?
A: It starts raining cats and dogs.

Spring chicken

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
A: She was no spring chicken.

Red nosed pickels

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : What’s red and green and guides Santa’s sleigh?
A : Rudolph the red-nosed pickle!

World Weakest Animal

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Whats the world weakest animal?
A :A toad, he croaks if you even touch him!

Fashionable hippopotamus

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a fashionable hippopotamus?
A: A hippo-ster.

Croakus

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What’s a toads favorite flower?
A: A croakus!

Koala-field

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the manager hire the marsupial?
A: Because he was koala-fied.

Milk Dude

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A: A MILK DUD!

Spastic Goat

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What do you call a spastic goat?
A :Billy the kid.

Blind Jockey in a race

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

blind jockey

A jockey is about to enter an race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘ALLLLEEE OOOP!’ really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do that, you’ll be fine.”

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer’s ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers “Aleeee ooop” in the horse’s ear. The same thing happens – the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, “It’s no good, I’ll have to do it,” and yells, “ALLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.

The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, “Nothing is wrong with me – it’s this bloody horse. What is he – deaf or something?”

The trainer replies, “Deaf? Deaf?! He’s not deaf. He’s blind!” 😀 😀

Lick his own dick

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why does a dog lick his own dick?
A: Because he cant make a fist

Unique up on it

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do you catch a unique bird?
A: Unique up on it.

Bear like Bald man

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why do polar bears like bald men?
A: Because they have a great, white, bear (uh…bare) place!

Penguin In a Gas station

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. While doing thisthe clerk spots two penguins sitting on the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, “What’s up with the penguins in the back seat?” The man in the car says, “I found them. I asked myself what to do with them but, I haven’t a clue.” The clerk ponders a bit then says, “You should take them to the zoo.” “Yeah, that’s a good idea,” says the man in the car and drives away. The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car. “Hey, they’re still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo!” “Oh, I did,” says the driver, “and we had a great time. Today I’m taking them to the beach.”

Toads lay so many Eggs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do toads manage to lay so many eggs?
A: They sit eggsaminations!

Smart Porcupine

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a porcupine sitting next to him. “Are you a porcupine?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes.” “What are you doing at the movies?” The porcupine replied, “Well, I liked the book.”

Crocodile attack lawyers

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy!

Macintosh Computer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What type of a computer does a horse like to eat?
A: A Macintosh

Missed match socks

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a mismatched pair of socks in the wash?
A: Evidence.

Credit Card

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do you stop a bull from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!

Tell a runaway horse

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?
A: A tale of WHOA!

Lollihops :D

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s a toads favorite sweet?
A: Lollihops!

Chistmas to Ewe

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A: Merry Christmas to Ewe!

Bottle Of vinegar

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
A: A sourpuss!

Taunt a crocodile

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 2.33 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why shouldn’t you taunt a crocodile?
A: Because it might come back to bite you in the end.

Stuckt

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
A :Stuck!

Happy polar bears

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What has four legs and a flipper?
A: A happy polar bear!

Dirty double crosser

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again?
A :  A dirty double-crosser!

Shelfies

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (7 votes, average: 4.43 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What kind of photos does a turtle take?
A: Shellfies.

British sharks want to eat

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do British sharks like to eat?
A: Fish and kids!

Tired to fired

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Did you hear about the man who tried to feed a bear an Apple?
A: It didn’t bear fruit.

Girls of my Ex-boyfriend

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Girl: One of my ex-boyfriends sounds like an owl. Boy:
A :Who?

Ten Pounds

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Whats the difference between your mom and a blue whale?
A: ten pounds.

Shark terk

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is a sharks favorite sci-fi show
A: Shark Trek

Paint rabbits on his head

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
A: Because from a distance they looked like hares!

Cute Friday

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: A man from the olden days rode into town on his horse he spended six days and left on Friday how is this possible?
A: Friday was the name of his horse.

Giraffe snots

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Whats green and hangs from trees?
A: Giraffe snot.

Get a horse drunk

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do you get a horse drunk?
A: Drink him under the stable.

Golf blooded Frog

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What do you call a rich frog?
A :A golf blooded amphibian!

Sergeants in tha army

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How are tigers are like sergeants in the army?
A: They both wear stripes!

Cougars always meat raw meat

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why do cougars always eat raw meat?
A: Because they don’t know how to cook.

Monkey cook his toast

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Where does a monkey cook his toast ?
A: Under a gorilla!

Law of gravity

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the bird get a ticket?
A: It broke the law of gravity!

Sharks favourite century

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Who was the shark’s favorite 20th century art figure?
A: Marcel DuChomp

Cross Squirell with Kangroo

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
Loading...

What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.

What’s the best way to catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut.

Where do squirrels go when they have a nervous breakdown?
To the nut-house.

Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground

Will those do you P ?

Alchoholic skunk

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A man and his pet skunk walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my skunk.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the skunk falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a skunk.”

Religios skunk

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the religious skunk say?
A: “Let us spray!”

Firen from hi job

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
A: He would only do the BEAR minimum.

Drinking Eve

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

man and his pet grasshopper walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my grasshopper.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the grasshopper falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a grasshopper.”

Kind of horses

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What kind of horses go out after dusk?
A: Nightmares!

Cross a Donkey with

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when cross a donkey and an onion?
A: a piece of ass that’ll bring a tear to your eye!

Jawbreaker

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a man too big for an alligator to eat?
A: a jawbreaker.

Teenage sharks

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What was the teenage sharks favorite internet site
A: MyShark

Frog wear Jumpsuit

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What do stylish frogs wear?
A :Jumpsuits!

Life in a Zoo

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

There was this zebra who had lived her entire life in a zoo and was getting on a bit so the zoo keeper decided as a treat that she could spend her final years in bliss on a farm. The zebra was so excited, she got out of the horse float to see this huge space with green grass and hill and trees and all these strange animals. She saw a big fat weird looking brown thing and ran up to it all excited, “Hi! I’m a zebra, what are you?” “I’m a cow” said the cow. “Right, and what do you do?” asked the zebra. “I make milk for the farmer” said the cow. “Cool.” The zebra then saw this funny looking little white thing and ran over to it. “Hi, I’m a zebra, what are you?” “I’m a chicken,” said the chicken. “Oh, right, what do you do?” asked the zebra. “I make eggs for the farmer.” said the chicken. “Right – o, great, see ya round.” Then the zebra saw this very handsome beast that looked almost exactly like her without the stripes. She ran over to it and said, “Hi, I’m a zebra, what are you?” “I am a Stallion,” said the stallion. “Wow,” said the zebra. “What do you do?” “Take off your pajamas darling, and I’ll show you.”

Owl owling

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the owl, owl?
A: Because the woodpecker would peck ‘er!

Dinosaur slept all day

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Which dinosaur slept all day ?
A: The dino-snore!

Man kills a deer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue. Well, he said, ‘It’s what mummy calls me sometimes’. The little girl screams to her brother ‘Don’t eat it, it’s an asshole..

night of drinking

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A man and his pet Lemur walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my Lemur.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the Lemur falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a Lemur.”

mattypus

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a platypus and a long division problem? A: A Mathypus.

Smarter talking cat

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is smarter than a talking cat?
A: A spelling bee!

Pure Evil

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Which dinosaur is pure evil?
A: Daemonosaurus.

Night cream

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did Avogadro invent for his wife to use as a night cream?
A: Oil of Molay

Abbreviation of ABCDEFG & GFEDCBA

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (20 votes, average: 4.35 out of 5)
Loading...

What is ABCDEFG?

boy-proposing

A Boy Can Do Everything For a Girl!

But what is GFEDCBA? (The Opposite)

boyfriend-and-girlfriend

Girl Forgets Everything Done and Catches new Boy Again!

Its Shadow

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is as big as a gorilla but weighs nothing?
A: Its shadow!

Sheep with no legs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A: A cloud.

Tweeting on test

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

Police comb the area

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street?
A: The police had to comb the area.

Cow laughs to hard

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What happens when a cow laughs too hard?
A: It Cowlapses!

Brown and white eat hamster

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What is white and brown and eats hamster food?
A: My hamster!

I know its early

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 2.33 out of 5)
Loading...

I know its too early…
but l have hundreds of boys and pretty girls to wish…
So I decided to finish off Uncles & Aunties first!

Wear Sunglasses

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses to the Christmas party?
A : Because he didn’t want to be recognised!

Alchoholic badger

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A man and his pet badger walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my badger.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the badger falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a badger.”

Fortune Cookie

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 1.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a food stamp inside of a burrito?
A: An otter fortune cookie

Grizzly mood

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: When is a polar bear not a polar bear?
A: When it’s in a “grizzly” mood.

Ahmed with a big smile

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

There was a young man named Ahmed who bought a donkey from old farmer Farouk for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. When Farouk drove up the next day he says, ‘I am sorry but I have some bad news – the donkey is on my truck but he be dead.’

Ahmed replies, ‘Well then, just give me my money back.’
‘Can’t do that,’ burrs the farmer, ‘I went out and spent it already.’

Ahmed sighs, ‘OK just unload the donkey anyway.’
Farouk then asks, ‘What are you gonna do with a dead donkey an’ that?’ I’ll raffle him off,’ laughs Ahmed.

The farmer exclaimed, ‘Aargh, you can’t raffle off a dead donkey.’

But Ahmed with a big smile on his face tells Farouk, ‘Sure I can. Watch.
Just don’t tell anyone the donkey is dead.’

A month later the farmer Farouk met up with Ahmed and asks,
‘Whatever happened to that dead donkey?’Funny Donkey Story

Ahmed answers, ‘I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2.00 each and made a huge profit.’

Totally amazed the farmer Farouk enquires, ‘Didn’t anyone complain that you had stolen their money because you lied about the donkey being dead?’

‘The only one who found out about the donkey being dead was the raffle winner,’ chuckled Ahmed, ‘so when he came to claim his prize I gave him his $2.00 back plus $200.00 extra, which is double the going value of a dead donkey, so he thought I was a great fellow.’

Baby Giraffes

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do giraffes have that no one else has?
A: Baby giraffes!

Dog and pony show

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Did you hear about the dog who couldn’t stop talking like a horse?
A: It was a dog and pony show.

Elephant with carrot

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear?
A :Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

Coraka cola

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do toads drink?
A: Croaka-cola!

How many arms Alligators have

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How many arms has a alligator got?
A: Depends how far he has got with eating his dinner!

Box of quackers

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a crate of ducks?
A: A box of quackers

Ground beef

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs at all?
A: Ground beef

Sharks boogers

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Whats green and gross and lives under the sea?
A: Shark boogers!

Lawn moo-er

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A: a lawn moo-er.

Pony spayed

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

There was this young filly whose owners decided to have her “fixed.” The stallion next door was heartbroken, as he’d always wanted to mate with her. He pined for her constantly. Moral of the Story? “A pony spayed is a pony yearned.”

Ferret crossing road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the ferret cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Anywhere he wants too

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Where does a tiger sleep?
A: Anywhere he wants to!

Banarama..

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group?
A: Bananarama!

Blonde cheats Lawyer

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

 

clever layer

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains how the game works: “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me, and visa-versa.” Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The chauvinistic lawyer figures that since his opponent is a blonde he will easily win the match, so he makes another offer:

“Okay, how about this “If you don’t know the answer you pay me only $5, but if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $50.” This catches the blonde’s attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, she agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?” The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it’s the blonde’s turn. She asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?”

The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour, of searching for the answer he finally gives up. He wakes the blonde and hands her $50.

The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little frustrated, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, so what IS the answer?” Again without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

Sun burned Zebra

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Whats black and white and red all over?
A: A sun-burned zebra!

Cow get to the moon

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How does a cow get to the mooooon?
A: It flies through udder space!

Sitting your school desk

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What should you do if you find a gorilla sitting at your school desk?
A: Sit somewhere else!

Teddy bear with pig

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A: A teddy boar!

Roaster doo something

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the rooster cross the road?
A: To cockadoodle dooo something!

Coop- cakes

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
A: Coop-cakes!

porcupine crossing road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the Porcupine cross the road? A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

An Expert Dele Gator

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Did you hear about the crocodile who became a congressman?
A: He was an expert dele-gator.

Laughing carrots

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call an Lemur with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

The Terror-dacty

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What was the scariest prehistoric animal?
A: The Terror-dactyl !

Change light bulbs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q : How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb?
A : Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down!

Vampire shark

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s worse than being bitten by a shark?
A: Being bitten by a vampire shark

World without engineers

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (9 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Engineers had made our life very comfortable by using science and technology.
But have u ever imagined what would the world look like without engineers, If not then here r
some of the pics what would our life be like :-

Transportation

Mechanical and automobile engineer

Civil engineer of old age
Continue reading

Gorilla Sunday

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae?
A: Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!

Dusky husky

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a black Eskimo dog?
A: A dusky husky!

Describe Themselves

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do tigers describe themselves?
A: Purr-fect!

Hoppercraft

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
A :A hoppercraft!

Drive Everyone Nuts

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why can’t you be friends with a squirrel?
A: They drive everyone nuts.

Monkey go to drink

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Where do monkeys go to drink?
A: The monkey bars!

Hi -po

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do you say hello to a hippopotamus?
A: Hi-po!

Owl invite his friend

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the Owl invite his friends over?
A: He didn’t want to be Owl by himself.

He had little Ape-tude

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :Why did the Gorilla fail English?
A : He had little Ape-titude!

Zara sambhal ke Eid Guzarna..

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (5 votes, average: 3.60 out of 5)
Loading...

Be Extra Carefull In Dinoo Apna Bohot Khayal Rakhna, Khana

Waqt Par Khana,

Ziyada Wazan Wagaira Nahiin Uthana,

Seeriyaan Ehtiyaat Say Charhna,

Kiyoun K… 9 Wan Mahina Chal Raha Hai,

Aur Theek 1 Dinn Kay Baad Tumko Khushi Milnay Wali Hai,

HAPPY EID in Advance…

Polar bear go to the movies

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why shouldn’t you take polar bears to the zoo?
A: Because they’d rather go to the movies.

Clear the stable

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did the mare tell her filly after dinner?
A: Clear the Stable.

Ugly hippo

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What time is it when a hippo sits on your bed?
A: Time to get a new bed!

Lemur a fast food

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What does a lion call a lemur?
A: Fast Food.

Twas the Night After Christmas

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

‘Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy. 

The kids they weren’t talking to me or my wife, the worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives. My wife couldn’t argue and neither could I, so I watched TV and my wife, she just cried.

When out in the yard the dog started barkin’, I stood up and looked and I saw Sheriff Larkin. He yelled, “Roy I am sworn to uphold the laws and I got a complaint here from a feller named Claus.”

I said, “Claus, I don’t know nobody named Claus, and you ain’t taking me in without probable cause.” Then the Sheriff he said, “The man was shot at last night.” I said, “That might have been me, just what’s he look like.”

The Sheriff replied, “Well he’s a jolly old feller, with a big beer gut belly, that shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly. He sports a long beard, and a nose like a cherry.” I said, “Sheriff that sounds like my wife’s sister Sherri.”

“It’s no time for jokes Roy” the Sheriff he said. “The man I’m describing in dressed all in red. I’m here for the truth now, it’s time to come clean. Tell me what you’ve done, tell me what you’ve seen.”

Well I started to lie then I thought what the hell, it wouldn’t have been the first time that I’ve spent New Years in jail. I said, “Sheriff it happened last night about ten, and I thought that my wife had been drinking again.”

When she walked in from work she was as white as a ghost. I thought maybe she had seen one of them UFO’s. But she said that a bunch of deer had just flown over her head, and stopped on the roof of our good neighbour Red.

Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me shudder, a freezer full of venison standing right on Red’s gutter. Well my hands were a shakin’ as I grabbed my gun, when outta Red’s chimney this feller did run.

And slung on his back was this bag over flowin’. I thought he stolen Red’s stuff while old Red was out bowling’. So I yelled, “Drop fat boy, hands in the air!” But he went about his business like he hadn’t a care.

So I popped a warning shot over his head. Well he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled. And as he flew off I heard him extort, “That’s assault with intent Roy, I’ll see ya in court.”

Scotish toads play

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do Scottish toads play?
A: Hop-scotch!

Got milk?

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did one dairy cow say to another?
A: Got milk?

Typical Macho Man

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding,
he laid down the following rules:-
“I’ll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don’t expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won’t be home for dinner. I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don’t you give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?
“His new bride said, “No, that’s fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o’clock every night… whether you’re here or not.”

Are you sure?

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A student named Jacob was sitting in class one day and the teacher walked by and he asked her “How do you put an elephant in the fridge?” The teacher said “I don’t know, how?” Jacob then said “You open the door and put it in there!” Then Jacob asked the teacher another question “How do you put a moose in the fridge?” The teacher then replied “Ohh I know this one, you open the door and put it in there?” Jacob said “No, you open the door, take the elephant out, and then you put it in there.” Then he asked another question…”All the animals went to the lions birthday party, except one animal, which one was it?” The teacher a bit confused and said “The lion?” Then the student said “No,the moose because he’s still in the fridge.” then he asked her just one more question….”If there is a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to get across it,how would you” The teacher then says “You would walk over the bridge.” Then Jacob says “No, you would swim across because all the crocodiles are at the lions birthday party!” She laughs and walks away.

Who was sharks favourite

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Who was the sharks second favorite character on NBC’s “The Office”
A: Dwight K. Shark

Bhaiyya g Applied for Engineering Position

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 2.33 out of 5)
Loading...

A bhaiyyaji applied for an engineering position at an office in Uttar Pradesh. Reddy from Chennai applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager.
Upon completion of the test, the results showed that both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to the bhaiyyaji and said, “Thank you for your interest, but we’ve decided to give the job to Reddy.”
Bhaiyyaji: “And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct. This being Uttar Pradesh I should get the job!”
Manager: “We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the one question that you got wrong.”
Bhaiyyaji: “And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?”
Manager: “Simple, for the question that both of you got wrong, Reddy put down ‘I don’t know’ as the answer. And you wrote ‘Neither do I’!”

Master to santa

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Master bachiya nu puchda hai, daso vade ho ke tusi ki banna chaoge?
shunty : me Engineer banna chanda haan.
bunty : me doctor banna chanda haan.
dipti : me achi maa banna chandi haan.
santa : te me dipti di madad karna chanda haan.

Is there one Missing

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Did the dinosaur take a bath ?
A: Why, is there one missing?

Wear White Snickers

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the dog wear white sneakers?
A: Because his boots were at the menders!

Husband and wife

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A husband and wife are driving home and run over a badger, they get out and find its still breathing but freezing cold. The husband says “Put it between your legs to warm it up” Wife replies “But its all wet and it stinks!” Husband says “Well hold its nose!”.

Bush, Laaloo and dog

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (21 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Bush: Tujhe swimming aati hai?
Laaloo: No!

Bush:Tere se kutta acha hai jo swim kar leta hai.
Laaloo: Tujhe aati hai?

Swimmer dog

Bush:Haan!
Laaloo: Fir tere mein aur kutte mein kya farak hai…

Sharks message norwagien

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Who was the shark’s favorite Norwegian painter?
A: Edvard Munch!

Zebra Went To heaven

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A zebra went to heaven. When he saw St. Peter he asked him “You know, I have always wondered, am I a white horse with black stripes or a black horse with white stripes?” St. Peter said he would have to ask God that question since he’s the one that made him.

So the zebra asked God, “God, am I a white horse with black stripes or a black horse with white stripes?”
God answered, “You are what you are.”

The zebra left and came upon St. Peter and told him,
“Well I asked God if I was a white horse with black stripes or a black horse with white stripes…”
“What was the answer,” St. Peter asked.

“Well I still don’t know. All He said was: ‘You are what you are.”‘

“Well that answers it,” Said St. Peter. “You’re a white horse with black stripes.”

“How do you know that?” asked the zebra.

“Well if you were a black horse with white stripes He would have said: “You is what you is”.

Milk of Amnesia

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
A: Milk of Amnesia

Talkin Owl

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s more amazing than a talking Owl?
A: A spelling bee!

Ptera Don

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What is the head of an Italian dinosaur family called?
A: Ptera Don

Cow cross the road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side.

The Green mole

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is a mole’s favorite movie?
A: The Green Mole

Wearing Venetian Blinds

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds?
A: A zebra!

A complex love story

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (13 votes, average: 3.23 out of 5)
Loading...

Hero loves heroine , but heroine loves the villain.
But villain loves hero’s sister,and hero’s sister loves heroine’s brother .
Here, heroine’s brother loves villain’s sister .
But villain’s sister loves hero’s brother.

 a-complex-love-story

Again!, hero’s brother is also interested in heroine , and you already know that heroine loves villain.

Finally two people commit suicide.
Who’re they? ……….. Producer and the Director!!

Croaka-Cola

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What do toads drink?
A :Croaka-cola!

Need a Bigger condom

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the teenage sharks say when they were having sex?
A: “we’re going to need a bigger condom!”

A little otter

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter.
A: A little (h)otter

Sir g !! Tussi Great ho

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Santa finds cigarette box in his daughter’s room..
“Oh my god! she smikes”

The he finds whisky
“Oh my god! she drinks”

Then he saw a boy
“Thank God! its all his”

Three feet of my cock

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q:If you had a donkey and I had a chicken and if your donkey ate my chicken what will you have?
A:Three feet of my cock up your ass.

Dinosaur lay in the sun

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun?
A: At the dino-shore

Caught peepin

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: He got caught peeping on a test.

Jerking each other off

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
A: Bipolar.

Rep . Tile

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress?
A: Rep. Tile!

Cross gator and Poison Frog

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What do you get when you cross a gator and a poison frog?
A :A croakadile.

Cutlet above the rest

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Did you hear about the snobby cow?
A: She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!

Saint Cowboy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a ferret walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the ferret’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the ferret. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

Platypus took little wine

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What did the grape say when the platypus stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Policeman caught Nasty Boy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
Loading...

A policeman caught a nasty little Australian boy with a BB gun in one hand and a koala in the other. “Now Listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy. “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”

Ground beef

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?
A: Ground Beef

Otter get into honest buisness

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (4 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How does an otter get into an honest business?
A: Usually through the skylight.

Sharks is always quoting

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What kind of shark is always quoting Shakespeare?
A: A bard shark

Cross a dog and a calculator

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?
A: A friend you can count on.

Badger with carrot

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call an Badger with a carrot in each ear? A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

Gorilla welfare

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?
A : Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

crazy ferret

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: How do you drive a ferret crazy?
A: Give him a round litter pan.

Horse serving drinks in bar

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)
Loading...

A guy walks into a bar and there’s a horse serving drinks.

Boy-in-bar
The horse
asks, “What are you staring at?”
Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?”

The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

Rabbit in wedding night

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did the rabbits do after their wedding?
A: They went on their bunnymoon!

Dog cross the road

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the dog cross the road?
A: To get to the “barking” lot!

Chick dissapoint his mother

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
A: He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be!

Mommy sharks and daddy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: why did the mommy shark and daddy shark get divorced
A: they no longer loved each other

Give practical example of this principle

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (16 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Math Teacher :
If a=b  and b=c then a=c,
now give me the practical example of this principle from real life.

Math-student
Student
:
I love you sir
and you love your daughter
which means I love your daughter.

Too big to lose

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :Teacher: “Where would you find an elephant?”
A:Pupil:”You don’t have to find them, they’re too big to lose!”

Holes in Pajamas

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q. How can you tell if there is a dinosaur in bed with you?
A. By the `D’ on his pajamas.

Slide down the banana ster

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: How do monkeys get down the stairs?
A: They slide down the banana-ster!

Medical problem with chicken

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Psychiatrist: What seems to be the problem?
Patient: I think I’m a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long as this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I came out of my shell.

Cross a gator

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (3 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a gator and a poison frog?
A: A croak-odile.

Squash

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What is an elephants favorite sport?
A :Squash

Pros and Cons Chart

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the dog need help on his Pros and Cons chart?
A: He was CON-fused!

Water polo

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Did you hear about the blonde water-polo player?
A: His horse drowned

Ooo ! I love this

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did the polar bear say when it saw the igloo?
A: “Oooo! I LOVE these things! Crunchy on the outside – with a nice chewy center!”

An Alarm Cluck

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A: An alarm cluck!

Spanish Goats

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What do you call a Spanish goat with no back legs?
A :Gracias.

Millionare rabbit

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Did you hear about the rich rabbit?
A: He was a millionhare!

Christmas At beach

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
A: Sandy Claws!

Polly un saturated

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?
A: Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated!

Spelling bee

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What’s smarter than a talking parrot?
A: A spelling bee

Chicken Ceaser

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye?
A: CHICKEN CAESER SALAD (CHICKEN SEES A SALAD)

Your calves

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What animals do you bring to bed?
A: Your calves.

Deer nuts

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
A :Beer nuts are a $1.25 but deer nuts are always under a buck.

Bullogna

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
A: Bullogna

Dino-mite

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that eats fireworks?
A: A dino-mite

Gorilla most wanted

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Why did the actor fire his Gorilla agent?
A :The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite!

Sheep always quite

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a sheep that is always quiet?
A: A shhhheep!

Strawberry patch

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red?
A: So she could hide in the strawberry patch!

Purani gal bhool gya

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Santa: yar bachapan wich me 10 manjil toh kud gya si,

Banta: fer bach gya si ke mar gyi si?

Santa: pta nahi yar badi purani gal h.

Tick tock Doodle doo

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What does an alarm cluck say?
A: “Tick-tock-a-doodle-doo!”

Sheep can sew its own sweater

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a sheep and a porcupine?
A: An animal that can sew its own sweaters.

Dinosaur never gives up

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A: Try-Try-Try-ceratops !

100 Camels for Wife

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (49 votes, average: 3.31 out of 5)
Loading...

US tourists, a man and his wife are traveling in the Middle East. An Arab approaches the husband, saying, “I’ll give you 100 camels for your woman.”

After a long silence, the husband says, “She’s not for sale.”

The indignant wife says, “What took you so long to answer?”

The husband replied, “I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home.”

Hey! This look likes yours :D

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A man staggers into the emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, and a five iron wrapped around his neck. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. “Well, it was like this” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around I noticed that one of the cows had something white in it’s rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt. Thats when I made my mistake.” “What did you do?”, asked the doctor. “Well, I lifted the tail, pointed, and yelled to my wife, “Hey! This looks like yours!”

Ugly boy

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a bb gun in one hand and a grasshopper in the other. “Now Listen here,” the policeman said, “Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you” “In that case,” said the boy. “I’ll kiss it’s butt and let it go”

Mooooved to tear

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a sad cow?
A: Mooooved to tears.

poor skunk

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay, the skunk didn’t have a scent, the deer didn’t have a buck, so they put the meal on the duck’s bill.

Strawberry is red

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What’s the difference between a strawberry and a Tyrannosaurus?
A: The strawberry is red!

Goat with one ear

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q :What do you call a goat with one ear?
A :Van goat.

Sheep With machine Gun

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a sheep with a machine gun?
A: A b-aa-aa-aa-d situation.

Tarzan With Strpies

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man?
A: Tarzan with stripes.

Lawyers are clever

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (12 votes, average: 3.08 out of 5)
Loading...

An old penny pincher had no friends. Just before he died he asked his doctor, lawyer, and pastor to gather around him at bedside.

“I have always heard that you can’t take it with you. But I want to disprove that theory,” he said. “I have $90,000 under my mattress, and when I die, just before they throw the dirt on me at my burial, I want you each to toss in an envelope with $30,000 within.”

Clever lawyer

The three attended the funeral and each threw his envelope in the grave. On the way back from the cemetery, the pastor said, “I must confess. I needed $10,000 for my new church, so I only threw in $20,000.”

The doctor then said,
“I must confess too. I needed $20,000 for a new hospital I was opening up, so I only threw in $10,000.”

The lawyer looked at them both and shook his head. He then said, “Gentlemen, I’m surprised, shocked, and ashamed of you. I don’t see how you could dare to go against that man’s final wish. I mean, I threw in my personal check for the full amount”

A dumb Ass!!

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a donkey that was born with a brain injury?
A: A dumb ass!!!

Evening mews

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What is the cat’s favorite TV show?
A: The evening mews!

sir?

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q. What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot?
A. Sir.

Farmers had cold hand

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: Do you know why the cow jumped over the moon?
A: The farmer had cold hands.

Alchoholic Porcupine

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

A man and his pet porcupine walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my porcupine.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the porcupine falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a porcupine.”

Otter with carrot

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (5 votes, average: 3.40 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

The Bear Hug

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q :Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?
A :The bear hug!

Cougar and a snow man

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you get when you cross a cougar and a snowman?
A: Frost-bite!

Precious book out of cow

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the cow. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

Rubs its legs

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q:What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together?
A: Chimney Cricket!

Get a moove on

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Q: What did the cow say to the turtle?
A: Get a moove on

Horse and a Chicken

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 2.50 out of 5)
Loading...

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, “I think I can stand over the hole!” So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, “Grab for my penis and pull yourself up.” And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
Moral of the Story: If you’re hung like a horse, you don’t need a BMW to pick up chicks.

Horrible dream of my life

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (2 votes, average: 1.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q: What do you call a dream in which polar bears are attacking you?
A: A bitemare!

Reindeer glasses

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading...

Q : Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses to the Christmas party?
A: Because he didn’t want to be recognised!

Medical college ki bi dik jaengi

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (No Ratings Yet)
Loading...

Santa : je me is nariyal de ped te chad jawan taan, engineering college di kudiyan dikh jangi?

Banta: haan je gir gya taan medical college di v nal hi dikh jangi.