my wife smells nasty

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A guy brings a Lemur home , tells his wife it’s a pet. She asks , “Where are you going to keep it?” He repies , “In the bedroom.” “But what about that horrible nasty smell?’ , she asks. “I got used to you , I’m sure he will too!”

Elk a seltzer

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Q : What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy?
A : “Elk”-a-seltzer!

Hipp-hop

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Q: What’s a hippos favourite kind of music?
A: Hip-hop

Bear to the zoo

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Q: Why shouldn’t you take a bear to the zoo?
A: Because they’d rather go to the cinema!

Light at night

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Q: What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A: A tiger moth!

lazy workers :D

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Q : How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb?
A : Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down!

I’m waiting on my house

1 Star2 Star3 Star4 Star5 Star (7 votes, average: 3.71 out of 5)
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There’s this drunk man standing out on the street corner.

A cop passes by and says, “What do you think you’re doing?”

 Drunk-man-waiting-for-home

The drunk says, “I heard the world goes around every 24 hours and I’m waiting on my house. Won’t be long now, there goes my neighbour.”

Bluberring about

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Q :What did the shark say to the whale?
A :What are u blubbering about?

Pain in the ass

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Q: What do you get when a donkey eats a porcupine?
A: A pain in the ass.

Its whale Of a Tale

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Q: Have you heard of Flight of the Penguins (sequel to March)?
A: Its a whale of a tale

Owl caught in the act

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Q: What do you call an owl caught in the act?
A: Spotted!

Cows when sick

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Q: What do cows get when they are sick?
A: Hay Fever

Leap year

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Q :What is a frogs favorite time?
A :Leap Year!

Police de gadi te ghar wali

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Police di gadi te gharwali wich common ki h?
dono apne aan te bda shor machande hai.

Shellebrity

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Q: What do you call a famous turtle?
A: A shellebrity.

Marsh-mole ows

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Q: What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
A: Marsh-mole-ows!

Bears like a bald man

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Q: Why do polar bears like bald men?
A: Because they have a great, white, bear place!

Mole of molasses

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Q: If a mole of moles were digging a mole of holes, what would you see?
A: A mole of molasses!

Gorilla Favourite President

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Q :Who is the Gorillas’ favourite President of recent years?
A : Hairy Truman!

Pride of Giraffe

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Q: Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
A: It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

Shark Hudson

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Q: Who is the shark communitys favorite 1950s film actor
A: Shark Hudson

Vampires like horse racing

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Q: When do vampires like horse racing?
A: When it’s neck and neck

Blind Dinosaur’s Dog

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Q: What do you call a Blind Dinosaur’s Dog?
A: Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.

Stumpy

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Q: What’s the silliest name you can give a giraffe?
A: Stumpy.

Twelve foot tooth Brush

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Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedgehog?
A: A twelve-foot toothbrush

Tierd Elephant

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Q :Why did the elephant leave the circus?
A :He was tired of working for peanuts.

In the Dark

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Q: Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ?
A: In the dark!

Eid Mubarak with Siwayian

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May Your Plate Of Life Be Always Full Of Sweet Siwaiyan

Topped With The Nuts Of Happiness.

With Best EID WISHES,May You Have A Happy Eid

Kong-vict

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Q:What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner?
A: A Kong-vict!

Llamas and alpacas

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Q: What’s the diffrenece between llamas and alpacas?
A: Alpacas have more dark meat!

Shark eart for dinner

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Q: What does a shark eat for dinner?
A: Whatever it wants!

Bihari teacher had once gone to cenima

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A Bihari teacher had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did not see them. So the next day at school…
” Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre”

Mooolasses

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Q: What does a cow put on his french toast?
A: Moooolasses.

Thieving Alligators

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Q: What do you call a thieving alligator?
A: A crookodile

Raining cats and dogs

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Q :When do hamsters run away from rain?
A: When its raining cats and dogs!