Jockey communicate

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Q: How does a winning jockey communicate with his horse?
A: He lays his cards on the stable.

TASHAN running successfully

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The size zero queen’s movie is running successfully, don’t believe me.
See….
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tashan running successfully

Brick layer

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Q: What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A: A brick layer!

Frog leave his hat

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Q :Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
A :In the croakroom!

Moody blues

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Q: What band is a cow favorite?
A: Moody Blues

Stable tennis

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Q: What is a young Colts favorite sport?
A: Stable Tennis.

Hippo with carrot

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Q: What do you call a hippo with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can’t hear you!

If students get wrong concept

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A college student was in a philosophy class, where there was a class discussion about whether or not God exists, The professor had the following logic:

“Has anyone in this class heard God?” Nobody spoke. “Has anyone in this class touched God?” Again, nobody spoke. “Has anyone in this class seen God?”

When nobody spoke for the third time, he simply stated, “Then there is no God.”

student-with-open-book

The student did not like the sound of this at all, and asked for permission to speak. The professor granted it, and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates:

“Has anyone in this class heard our professor’s brain?” Silence.

“Has anyone in this class touched our professor’s brain?” Absolute silence.

“Has anyone in this class seen our professor’s brain?”

When nobody in the class dared to speak, the student concluded, “Then, according to our professor’s logic, it must be true that our professor has no brain!”

A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic

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A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said, it was his mission.
He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, “Now that’s addition.”

In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, “Now that’s subtraction.”

Boy-and-girl-kissing

Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation.
And both together smiled and said, “That’s multiplication.”

Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.
He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, “That’s long division!”

Try to Comfort his friend

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Q: What did one shark say to try to comfort a friend who had just gotten out of a relationship
A: “its ok there are plenty of other birds in the sky”

Get tongue tied!

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Q :What happens when two frogs collide?
A :They get tongue tied!

Alligator and Windows Similarity

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Q: What’s the similarity between a Alligator and Windows?
A: Neither of them has enough bytes!

Santa faces insulting by female deer

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One day, Santa saw a young deer with a glowing nose of red…he smiled at him and waved to young creature. The deer dropped his bottle of gin and exclaimed “Oh Sh!t…it’s Santa!” And ran away. Santa rubbed his beard and shook his head. “I think I’ll call that one Rude-off.”

They both wear stripes

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Q: How are tigers like sergeants in the army?
A: They both wear stripes!

Dorsal Day

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Q: Who is the shark communitys favorite 1950s film actress
A: Dorsal Day

Bird that talks

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Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A: A bird that talks your ear off!

Isko bolo humne Hajj bi kia hai

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1 Pathan Eid ki Namaz parh raha tha
.
To dosra usky bare mai kesi ko bata raha tha ke yai boht Namazi owr naik banda hai.
.
Pathan Namaz thor kar bola:
Es ko bolo ke “hum ne Haj bhi kia hai”

How fast you carry it

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Q: Is it true that a dinosaur won’t attack if you hold a tree branch?
A: That depends on how fast you carry it!

Long heaird hippo

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Q: What do you call a long haired hippo?
A: A hippy

Quicksand litter box

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Q: What do you need to get a fast cat to use the litter box?
A: Quicksand.

I hate that beggar

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Wife: I hate that beggar.
Husband: Why?
Wife: Yesterday I gave him food and today he gave me a book “How to Cook”!

Mcdonald’s run out of Chicken

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Q: Why did McDonald’s run out of chicken McNuggets?
A: The farmer counted his chickens before they hatched.

T.T.E going to kill bihari

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There was this Bihari who was travelling with two tickets, so when
the T.T.E asked for the ticket, this fellow gave both the tickets, and
so the T.T.E asked him the reason of buying two tickes , this fellow
answered well what will happen if in case I lose one of them, so the
T.T.E said what if you lose both of them, so this guy said then why
do I have a monthly pass.

Cross a parrot with elephant

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Q :What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant?
A :An animal that tells you everything that it remembers!

1 pathan Eid wale din Movie dekh rha tha

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1 Pathan Eid wale din Cinema mai Film dekh raha tha.
.
Film mai 1 Shair dowarty howe araha tha.
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Pathan ne dekha tu dar gia, owr apni chadir kandhy pa dal kar bhaagny laga
Logo ne kaha: Khan Sahib mat daro, yai tu film hai
.
Pathan: Wo tu mujh ko bhi pata hai ke yai film hai, lekin wo tu janwar hai, usko kia pata

Home schooled

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Q: Did the shark who was raised by fish receive any education?
A: Yes, he was home-schooled (in a school of fish)

Street Sharks get arrested

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Q: why did the street sharks get arrested
A: dorsal profiling

Old neigh-vy

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Q: Where do horses shop?
A: Old Neigh-vy!

Drowing otter

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Q: How do you save a drowning otter?
A: Take your foot of its head

Prince and her paw parr

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Q: What is a cats favorite book?
A: The prince and the paw-purr.

Little boy on Donkey

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donkey_dead

An old man and a little boy on a donkey were on their way into town. They passed by a group of people who said, “What a shame for that old man to be walking while that perfectly able-bodied boy rides that donkey.” So the boy got off the donkey and the old man got on. They later passed by some more people who said,” Why should that little boy have to walk when they have a donkey to ride on. So the little boy got on the donkey and they both rode it. After a while, they passed some more people. They overheard the people say, “That poor donkey must be wore out from carrying both of them.” So the little boy and old man picked up the donkey and started to carry it. They were carrying the donkey across a bridge. The weight of the donkey became just too unbearable and slipped from their grasp and went over the side of the bridge into the water and drowned. The moral of the story is: If You Try To Please Everyone You’ll Eventually Lose Your ASS!

Feet smell nasty

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Q: Why does a brontosaurus have a long neck?
A: Because it’s feet smell.

Sharks favourite smell

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Q: What is a shark’s favorite smell?
A: Human blood.

Seagulls in cenima

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A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a seagull sitting next to him.
“Are you a seagull?” asked the man,
surprised. “Yes.”
“What are you doing at the movies?” The seagull replied,
“Well, I liked the book.”