LitFun

Sid was travelling down a country road in his native Yorkshire, England when he saw a crowd of people gathering outside a farmhouse.Prize Donkey Joke

It was a cold November afternoon, so he stopped and asked Farmer Ellis why such a large crowd of men was gathered there.

The farmer replied, ‘Jo’s donkey kicked his mother-in-law and she died.’

‘Well, ‘replied the man, ‘She must have had a lot of friends.’

‘Nope, ‘said Farmer Ellis.’ We all just want to buy his donkey.’

Hero loves heroine , but heroine loves the villain.
But villain loves hero’s sister,and hero’s sister loves heroine’s brother .
Here, heroine’s brother loves villain’s sister .
But villain’s sister loves hero’s brother.

Again!, hero’s brother is also interested in heroine , and you already know that heroine loves villain.

Finally two people commit suicide.
Who’re they? ……….. Producer and the Director!!

Two men are walking by a restaurant and one of them says, “That smells amazing! Lets get something.”

The other man replies, “But they don’t let dogs in, what are we going to do with them.”

The first man puts on a pair of sunglasses and has his friend do the same and says, “Follow my lead.”

He starts to walk into the restaurant and the waiter stops him, “You cannot bring dogs in here sir.”

The man gets offended, “Excuse me sir! This is my seeing eye dog, I am blind.”

The waiter questions this, “But your dog is a pit bull?”

The man replies, “I know, I am a very important person, I need protection as well.”

The first man passes through and the second man begins to walk through when the waiter stops him and asks him the same question. The man replies, “This is my seeing eye dog too.”

The waiter replies, “Really? A chihuahua?”

The man freaks out, “What?! They gave me a chihuahua?!”

A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?” She calls on little Mark.

He replies, “None , they will all fly away with the first gunshot.”
The teacher replies, “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”

Then little Mark says, “I have a question for YOU. ”
There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.

Which one is married?”

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, Continue reading

A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant, at first he’d asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.

Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn’t throw out the pest.

“Oh, that man I don’t care.” said the waiter with a smile. “We don’t even have an air conditioner.”

Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.
 
Man discovered colors, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, invented make-up .
 
Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip .
 
Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
Woman discovered food, invented diet.
 
Man discovered friendship, invented love.
Woman discovered love, invented marriage .
 
Man discovered trade, invented money.
Woman discovered money, man has never recovered

There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.

After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, “well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?”

The third fellow says “I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.”

The first two guys were amazed. “What happened then?” They asked. She said, “get out from under the bed and fight like a man”.