Ape Suzettes

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Q:What do they feed a gorilla when he goes to Paris?
A:Ape Suzettes!

From scratch

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Q: How do chickens bake a cake?
A: From scratch!

Call 114

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Q: What do you call 144 camels in a box?
A: Gross!

Knock Knock !!

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Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Goat! Goat who?
Goat to believe in magic.

Box isn’t empty

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Q: How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ?
A: One . After that, the box isn’t empty anymore!

Crocodile coming to dinner

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Q: What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
A: Two crocodiles coming to dinner

Women need in her life

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Q: What 4 animals does a woman need in her life?
A: A mink on her back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in her bed and a jackass to pay for it all.

Penguins in Desert

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Q: What do you call a penguin in the desert?
A: Lost!

Front Seat

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A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a zebra in the front seat. “What are you doing with that zebra?” He exclaimed, “You should take it to the zoo.” The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the zebra again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over. “I thought you were going to take that zebra to the zoo!” The man replied, “I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!”

Slow Poke

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Q: What do you call a turtle with a hard on?
A: A slow poke.

Chicken wanted a day off

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Q :Why did the elphant cross the road?
A :Because the chicken wanted a day off.

Tiger sing at Christmas

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Q: What do tigers sing at Christmas?
A: Jungle bells!jungle bells!

Alligators like to drink

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Q: What do yuppie alligators like to drink
A: Jaw-va

Teacher

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Once a teacher was teaching the children about stripes animal. Teacher:Aisha stand up and tell me any two names of striped animals. Aisha:Zebra. Teacher:Very good now tell the other name! Aisha:Another zebra.

Rabbit hood

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Q: What’s the name of the rabbit who stole from the rich and gave to the
A: Rabbit Hood.

Wonkey Donkey

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Q: What do you call a donkey with one leg ?
A: A wonkey donkey

Sir loin

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Q: What do you call a cow with full armor?
A: Sir loin

Smart Hippopotamus

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A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a Hippo sitting next to him. “Are you a Hippo?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes.” “What are you doing at the movies?” The Hippopotamus replied, “Well, I liked the book.”

foolish

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Q: Why is it better to be a grasshopper than a cricket?
A: Because grasshoppers can play cricket but crickets can’t play grasshopper!

hippothermia

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Q: What happens when hippos get too cold?
A: They get hippothermia.

Can’t afford ones

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Q: Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum?
A: Because they can’t afford new ones!

Goat dressed clown

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Q :What do you call a goat dressed like a clown?
A :A silly billy.

Cross toad with ferry

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Q: What do you get if you cross a toad with a ferry?
A: A hoppercraft!

Pony express

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Q: What’s the quickest way to mail a little horse?
A: Use the Pony Express.

moron platy

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Q: Why did the Platypus cross the road?
A: Because he wanted to see his flat mate.

Bihari Introducing His Family

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A man from Bihar is introducing his family:

1. Ee hai hamaar biwi….. Google Raani… Ek sawal poochho toh 10 jawab deti hai…!!!

2. Ee hai hamaar betwa…. Facebook Kumar… Ghar ki baat sare colony tak pahunchata hai…!!!

3. Ee hai hamaar bitiya …. Twitter Kumari… Poori colony isko falow karti hai…!!!

4. Ee hai hamaar ammaji.. Whatsapp mata- poora din bud-bud karti rehti hai..magar kam ki ekkau bat nai nikalti.!

5. Aur hum, Orkut Kumar… Hamka koi puchhta hi nahi…!!!

Dead-letter office

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Q: Where do dinosaurs get their mail ?
A: At the dead-letter office!

Lili-gators

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Q: Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
A: It’s filled with liti-gators.

Cat in a station wagon

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Q: What do you call a cat in a station wagon?
A: A car-pet

Chicken cross the playground

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide!

Religiuos Eskimo

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The devout eskimo lost his favorite Bible while he was ice fishing. Three weeks later, a baby polar bear walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The eskimo couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the polar bear’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the baby polar bear. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

Southern hospitality

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Q: How does a horse from Kentucky greet another horse?
A: With Southern Horspitality!